Karma Is A Bitch: An Urban Fantasy Action Adventure (The Unbelievable Mr. Brownstone Book 12)

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Karma Is A Bitch: An Urban Fantasy Action Adventure (The Unbelievable Mr. Brownstone Book 12) Page 6

by Michael Anderle


  The thudding, echoing footsteps would have warned her even without her glasses.

  Shay hopped to her feet and pulled out her gun. Lily pulled out hers as well.

  A deafening roar echoed around them. Shay backed up and knelt behind a wide stalagmite, then tapped her goggles to revert to normal light mode, blinking a few times as her eyes adjusted.

  A few seconds later, flickering light illuminated the cave as a gray-skinned giant stomped around a bend in the tube. Bathed in an aura of flame, the creature had to duck to avoid some of the longer stalactites. His thick, cracked hide resembled the rock of the cave, two glowing solid-yellow eyes peered from his face, and long, sharp claws tipped his hands.

  “Shit,” Shay muttered. “I’d read about dokkaebi legends in this area, but nothing recent.”

  The monster bellowed again.

  Damn it. I was hoping to get one of the mischievous ones, not one of the large and angry ones. Shit luck today.

  “I’ve got no reason to fight with you,” Shay shouted back, her ears still ringing.

  The dokkaebi let out a low, deep chuckle and rattled something off in a foreign language. Shay presumed it was some Korean dialect.

  Of course. Not every human speaks English, why should every monster I run into?

  Shay sighed. “You don’t happen to speak Korean, do you, Lily?”

  The girl shook her head, her gray hair whipping around.

  Shay yanked out her phone, quickly brought up her translation app, and tried again.

  This time when the monster replied, the phone spat out a halting translation after a quick warning about archaic speech patterns.

  The message was simple. “Trespassers must die.”

  Shay rose, keeping her weapon pointed and her phone in her other hand. “We’ve been assigned to retrieve the glass ewer of King Bak Hyeokgeose. This is an official request from the Ministry of Culture, Sports, and Tourism of the Republic of Korea. This is a legal recovery of a cultural artifact.”

  The monster laughed and rattled off his response, his words continuing to be translated by Shay’s phone. “Humans always think words on a page mean something. Magic has returned. The world has become what it once was.” He sniffed at the air. “I leave the humans below alone, and they have wisely left this cave alone. But you fools came.”

  Don’t think they even know about it anymore, pal, but whatever.

  “Like I said, we’re just here for the ewer. It’s a Korean cultural treasure, and they want it back.”

  The monster slammed a fist against his chest. “It’s been so long since I’ve tasted human flesh. Centuries.”

  “Centuries, huh?” Shay grinned. “A lot of things have changed. Humans aren’t as weak as they once were. Maybe you should be the one walking away.”

  The monster let out a terrifying laugh. “Enough games. Now you die.”

  He rushed forward, and Shay fired three quick shots at his chest. He jerked back, bright red blood streaming from his chest, and fell to his knees.

  She pocketed her phone and smirked. “Now that wasn’t so har—”

  The dokkaebi stood and roared, its flames intensifying. The wound started burning, and a second later it was healed.

  Shay holstered her pistol and dropped her hand to the hilt of her sword. “Can you distract the flaming Hungry, Hungry Hippo there?”

  Lily nodded and took a deep breath. “Sure. This whole place is like one giant parkour course.”

  “Don’t die. I’d hate to have you die after I gave you that big speech about you being ready to fly solo.” Shay winked.

  The monster charged her again, moving around some of the obstacles in his way and crashing through others, the flying rock shards pelting the cave walls.

  Lily leapt on top of a stalagmite and then jumped up, spinning around a moist low-hanging stalactite, gloves protecting her hands. She let go and flew past the dokkaebi.

  The huge monster swung at her, narrowly missing as the girl twisted her body, her preternatural reflexes saving her. She grabbed another stalactite and yanked herself up, then pushed off with her legs.

  Shay took the opportunity to charge the distracted monster. She unsheathed her blade and wove around the stalagmites as she closed the distance.

  The dokkaebi spun around, roared, and swung a claw at Shay. She dodged to the side and slashed with her sword. The blade severed the monster’s forearm, splattering blood. A screaming roar followed as the huge monster flailed.

  Shay ducked his remaining arm, only for him to whip it back and slam it into her. She flew back and crashed against the hard rock of the cave wall, a distinct crack preceding an explosion of utter agony in her leg.

  She gritted her teeth and looked down. Her right leg was bent at an angle that would be impressive even for Gumby, and the entire limb throbbed.

  “Fuck.” Shay shook her head and groped for her sword, then grabbed it. “Lily, catch!”

  Her breathing ragged, the tomb raider threw the blade toward the girl. Lily rolled under the dokkaebi’s arm and snatched the hilt while the sword was still in flight, spun, and planted the blade into the neck of the monster. He lashed out and sent her into the same wall as her mentor.

  The dokkaebi rounded on the pair, blood spurting from his neck. He gurgled and took several ponderous steps forward before falling and impaling himself on a stalagmite. A few seconds later, the fiery aura around him died, and he slumped farther forward.

  Oh, fuck, was that close. Yeah, maybe I should keep that in mind next time I lecture James.

  Shay reached into a pouch on her tactical belt to pull out a healing potion. “Lily, you okay?”

  The girl hissed and reached into her own belt to grab a potion as she pushed off the wall with her other arm. She fell forward, her back covered in blood. “I’ve been better.”

  Both women downed their healing potions and waited for their agony to end.

  A half-minute later they both stood, the pain and injury gone.

  Shay sighed and walked over to grab her tachi. “That could have gone better. I don’t just need a healing potion. I need a pain potion half the time. Damn, does that shit hurt.”

  Lily shrugged and patted her back. Her jacket had a massive hole where jagged rocks had pierced it. “We’re not dead. That’s a win, right?

  Shay slid down her AR goggles. “Let’s just hope the next trap and monsters show up as obviously on IR.” She shook her head. “I just want to get this shit over so I can get back to LA and save James’ ass.”

  Chapter Seven

  A half-hour more of wandering brought Shay and Lily in contact with ten more traps, but no more giant monsters. Between the AR goggles and Lily’s occasional premonitions, they escaped any further injury, which was fine by Shay since she and Lily each only had a single potion left.

  After they turned a corner, Shay was nearly blinded by an intense heat signature. She tapped the side of the goggles to revert to normal vision. Something about using voice commands around Lily felt silly.

  “Woah,” Lily murmured.

  Shay agreed mentally. Even without thermal mode, the entire cave was visible because of light pouring from an opening about twenty yards away. They looked at each other and jogged toward the opening.

  A large chamber lay beyond, bright as day but with no obvious light source. A white bed mat was arranged in the center, surrounded by soft cushions of different colors. Shelves of polished obsidian adorned the walls of the chamber, each filled with colorful stones.

  An obsidian pedestal held a beautiful blue-green ewer, elaborate patterns etched into the glass and threads of gold and silver crisscrossing it. It matched the description of the artifact perfectly.

  Standing beside one of the shelves was a beautiful young Korean woman, her eyes as dark as night, and her hair in an elaborate series of braids held up with the help of gold and silver hairpins. Shay was no fashion expert on ancient Korea, but the woman’s blue hanbok was consistent with some of the pictures she’d se
en of the clothing from the Silla era.

  The woman stepped forward, tilting her head. “Curious,” she offered, her voice accented, but the words unmistakably English.

  Shay exchanged a glance with Lily before returning her attention to the woman. “You speak English?”

  The woman held out her hand, and a glowing white orb appeared. “Magic allows me to understand whatever tongue I need.” She closed her hand, and the orb vanished. “You’re foreigners. From far away.” She frowned. “You are…Dutch?”

  Shay snort-laughed before coughing. “Um, no. Not Dutch.”

  The woman nodded slowly. “Portuguese, then? You don’t have the look of someone from Nifon.”

  Lily glanced at Shay, and she shook her head.

  Huh. Judging by the clothes and the old-school name for Japan alone, this chick might have been out of circulation for a thousand years, but the Dutch and Portuguese shit makes me think only a few hundred.

  “We’re Americans,” Shay explained.

  The Korean woman pursed her lips in concentration. “Your country lies in Europe?”

  Shay shrugged. “Farther west. The New World, some people might have called it when you last talked to them.” She held up her hands. “I’m Shay.” She nodded to Lily. “This is Lily.”

  The woman inhaled deeply. “This girl smells of magic. You have things that smell of magic, but she is a magical being.”

  Lily shrugged. “Sorry?”

  The woman shook her head. “You can call me Aerye. I sleep so much now.” She yawned. “It’s hard to stay awake. It’s been…so long. I have few visitors.”

  Shay frowned. “You can sleep when dokkaebi are wandering the cave?”

  She’s either lucky or much, much more than she appears.

  Aerye nodded. “We have a mutually beneficial arrangement. Tell me, Shay and Lily of the Kingdom of America, why have you come here?”

  Here goes nothing.

  Shay cleared her throat. “I’ve come to recover the glass ewer of His Highness, King Bak Hyeokgeose.”

  Aerye’s delicate eyebrows lifted. “Have you now?”

  “I’m on an official mission from the Ministry of Culture, Sports, and Tourism of the Republic of Korea.” Shay tried to sound as professional as she could.

  The woman frowned. “Korea? I don’t know this kingdom. I thought the Kingdom of Great Joseon laid claim to this area. Did perhaps the Goryeo rise again during my sleep?”

  Shay shrugged. “I don’t know when you last woke up, but a lot of things have changed. Hell, the Japan…um, even the people of Nifon ruled the area for a while, and now it’s kind of split down the middle two competing, uh, kingdoms.”

  Aerye sniffed disdainfully. “It is the nature of humans to destroy themselves. You come for a blessed artifact from one of the few good humans to ever exist.”

  “I take it you’re not human, then?”

  The Korean woman shook her head. Nine glowing tails appeared behind her. “I am a kumiho. I have defended the ewer since the fall of Silla. I have no intention of turning it over to any new kingdom that claims dominion over the old lands. There was a reason I fled to this island.”

  Shay blinked. “Huh? I don’t even get this. You’re a kumiho, a nine-tailed shapeshifting fox, right? I don’t know which legends are true, but your kind doesn’t tend to care all that much about human politics, and what you said only confirms that. You care about guarding some artifact for an old king of a fallen kingdom?”

  Lily stepped closer to Shay, her breathing slow.

  Aerye shook her head. “There was a prince of the royal family of Silla. He was the owner, long after his ancestor. A glorious man, perfect in soul and body. His dying wish was that the enemies of his kingdom would not have his most treasured item. I swore to him that I would defend it, and I have for a thousand years.” Her face darkened, and her eyes shifted from dark to orange with slit pupils. The glowing of her tails intensified, and sharp claws extended from her hands. “I don’t care what kingdom you hail from or who you claim to serve. The ewer remains here.”

  Shay shook her head. “I’ve got no beef with you. I really don’t want to have to hurt you.”

  Lily swallowed. “Shay, just got a really bad vision. We should…do something and fast.”

  The kumiho stared at the teen, inhaling deeply. “No. I can’t let you leave. So much fresh blood on you. It’s obvious you’ll return with more and take what doesn’t belong to you.” She whipped her hand back and a ball of burning blue fire appeared, growing in size.

  “Here we go again.” Shay yanked out her pistol and opened fire. Lily joined her.

  A bright blue flash caused each bullet to bounce to the ground, crushed.

  Shay hissed. “I’ll distract her this time. You try one of Tubal-Cain’s little toys. She’s a lot smaller than the dokkaebi.”

  The kumiho threw the blue fireball, and Shay and Lily jumped in opposite directions. The ball struck a wall, exploding in a shower of blue sparks.

  Shay sprinted around the edge of the cave, firing a round every couple of seconds to keep Aerye focused on her. Her enemy kept hurling exploding blue fireballs, each narrowly missing.

  Lily circled the opposite direction, pulling an adamantine knife from a sheath inside her jacket.

  Shay emptied the rest of her magazine into the kumiho’s shield and pulled out her sword.

  Aerye narrowed her eyes and took a step back.

  Shay grinned. “You get it, don’t you? This isn’t an ordinary sword.”

  The kumiho slammed her palms together, and a wave of azure energy shot from her in all directions. Lily leapt over it, likely anticipating it with her abilities.

  The magic blast slammed into Shay, knocking her onto her back. She managed to keep a grip on her sword but her stomach churned, and she regretted all the banchan and rice she’d had for breakfast.

  Aerye ignored Lily behind her.

  You shouldn’t have been so sure she’d get hit, fox bitch.

  The teen rushed straight toward the kumiho and slammed the knife into her back, and Aerye screamed and spun. A blade of blue light sprang from her wrist, and she came within a hairsbreadth of slicing Lily’s throat before the teen somersaulted away.

  Shay forced herself off the ground and ignored the pain and nausea to charge Aerye. The kumiho turned around just in time for the blade of the tachi to pierce her heart.

  Aerye blinked several times and looked down at the crimson seeping from her wound. She coughed up some blood and gripped the blade. “I’m sorry, my prince. I’ve failed you.”

  Shay released her grip and Aerye fell backward, her tails vanishing but her claws and eyes remaining the same. With a final gasp, her head lolled to the side and her breathing stopped.

  A moment later, Shay fell to her knees and clutched her stomach. “Oh, fuck. I don’t feel great.” She looked toward Lily. “You okay?”

  Lily shrugged. “I think so. Are you seriously hurt? I don’t see any new wound.”

  Shay managed to stand, her stomach still flipping but the discomfort starting to fade. “I’ve been better, but I think I’ll live.” She shook her head and looked down at the dead kumiho. “Shit. It didn’t have to go down that way. This was supposed to be a nice aboveboard legal recovery job.”

  Lily knelt over Aerye and closed her eyes. “She guarded the ewer for a thousand years for some guy who died before our country even existed. That’s devotion.”

  Shay snorted. “Maybe, or maybe it’s delusion and obsession. I’m not sitting around in a cave for a thousand years guarding anything.” She rolled her eyes. “With my luck, James would want me to guard his stupid truck for that long.”

  She headed toward the pedestal and looked over her shoulder. “Don’t worry, Aerye. At least this isn’t going to be sold to some asshole for a private collection. The Korean people will benefit from it, and at least some are probably descendants of the man you loved so much.”

  Devotion and love. Hell, love is still a
weird idea for me. What would it be like to spend the rest of my life with James?

  Her eyes widened and her cheeks heated.

  Lily looked at Shay, curiosity on her face “Something wrong?”

  Shay waved a hand dismissively. “Just some aftereffects of her spell.”

  The rest of my life, huh?

  James picked up the phone and dialed Alison. He was surprised she hadn’t called him. For all he knew, she was also monitoring all big crime news in Los Angeles for Brownstone-related incidents.

  “Hey, Dad,” she answered cheerfully. “What’s up?”

  He rubbed the back of his neck and grunted. “Just figured I should be honest with you.”

  “About what?”

  James frowned. “You didn’t hear about it on the news?”

  “I’ve been busy. Classes and…well, a lot of stuff. It’s a magic school, you know.” Alison chuckled. It sounded a bit nervous to James.

  Probably boy shit. I get it, Shay. I have to let her grow up. I won’t ask.

  At least that was what he told himself. He couldn’t be sure if it was that or more that he didn’t want to get into an argument about secrets.

  “Some guys tried to come after me,” James explained. “It wasn’t a big deal. Well, they did damage a barbeque restaurant, but no one got hurt. Except for them. They’re all dead. But they had it coming. I wanted to tell you about it before you heard shit on the news.”

  He grunted, worrying about his language. During the summer they’d spent training together and going out on bounty hunts, he’d fallen out of the habit of controlling himself around Alison. It seemed kind of silly to worry about a few bad words when his daughter was helping him take down dangerous criminals.

  If she can beat down witches, she can hear a few shits and fucks.

  Alison groaned. “Is Mom there?”

  “She’s in Korea on a tomb raid, but she completed it, and she’ll be back tomorrow.”

 

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