Karma Is A Bitch: An Urban Fantasy Action Adventure (The Unbelievable Mr. Brownstone Book 12)

by Michael Anderle

  Shay had already pulled her sword and now charged toward the mutant with the serpent tail. Her enemy snapped his tail at her and she leapt into the air, avoiding the blow. She landed in an expert roll and was on her feet again, all her momentum preserved. With a quick slash, she beheaded her enemy and didn’t even stop to watch his head roll away as she charged the spider mutant.

  James threw another series of vicious punches into the rock man’s face, and his foe stumbled, dazed. The bounty hunter took his opportunity to grab the man’s neck and yanked him to the ground. The mutant groaned, but James didn’t let up as he slammed his face into the hard concrete.

  “Rock and a hard place, asshole.”

  Insufficient energy for advanced transformation, Whispy Doom complained.

  James ignored his needy symbiotic partner and the roar of gunfire and exploding magic around him as he continued to slam the rock man’s head into the concrete. After his sixth hit, the entire head cracked and split in two. No blood came out, and the inside was nothing except rock and dust.

  How the fuck does that even work? Damned magic.

  He stood and dusted his hands off just in time to see Shay slice through a leg of the spider mutant. It took him a few seconds to realize she’d already cut several off. With a grin, she stabbed at the monster’s body as it thrashed until it rolled onto its back and stopped moving.

  Find new enemies. Kill. Adapt to become stronger.

  James swept his head around, looking for more ass to kick. Dead wizards, clones, mutants, and monsters littered the floor. A few of his men lay against the wall, bloodstains on their armor, but they all were well enough to down healing potions.

  He grunted and frowned. “Where’s He Who Hunts?”

  Trey jogged over from the corner. He didn’t look wounded, but there was a huge claw mark scoring his armor. “Didn’t see any motherfucker who looked like that dude. I don’t think he was here, big man.”

  “Maybe he never was.” James shrugged. “Just a bunch of dead-enders. The military wounded that fucker before he ran anyway. He probably bled out, and these assholes just came to avenge him. Probably his dying wish or some shit.”

  “What about what Tyler said?”

  James shook his head. “He’s not always right, and he said this was their base of operations. If the Council’s guy is such a badass and still alive, why would he let me keep fucking his guys up? Nah. He’s fucking dead already. I’d bet you money.”

  He stared down at one of the dead mutants or whatever the hell they were. No. Everything was over. This had to be the big plan, to ambush him with a bunch of wizards and monsters.

  Shay wandered toward the pair after cleaning her sword on the shirt of a dead wizard. “They weren’t surprised to see us, but I don’t think they thought we’d show up with everyone.”

  Trey snorted. “Now these fuckers are dead.” He pounded his chest. “For you, Shorty.”

  The other men cheered. “For Shorty!”

  Max limped over, a healing potion in hand. His leg had been badly burned. He downed the potion and grinned. “Good thing we got all these fucking healing potions.”

  “Yeah,” Lachlan called. “Good thing the big man can buy ‘em in bulk at a discount because of Trey the Gigolo.”

  Shay laughed. “Trey the Gigolo?”

  James grunted. He knew Trey had been seeing Zoe, and even though he couldn’t understand why a man would take that kind of risk, the last thing he was going to do is tell any man who he should sleep with.

  Trey frowned. “Y’all shut the fuck up. Y’all just jealous because you ain’t have a girlfriend as fine as mine.”

  The men all laughed. James cracked a smile too, even if he disagreed. Zoe was nice, but she was no Shay.

  Inefficient use of time, Whispy Doom all but shouted in James’ mind. Minimal adaptation gained from engaging enemies.

  It’s my fucking time to waste. I don’t fight people just to get stronger.

  Inefficient.

  I’ve been called worse, asshole.

  Asshole is incorrect designation.

  James surveyed the carnage and nodded, satisfied. Tyler, Heather, and Harry’s information had pointed him there. If there were some other secret part of LA where He Who Hunts was still around, they would have found it. The bastard had to be dead.

  We’ve won. This shit is finally over.

  He Who Hunts floated back and forth. The scrying windows allowed him a perfect view of the battle, but his excitement had quickly turned to disappointment.

  The loss of his forces was irrelevant. The wizards, transformed or otherwise, were nothing but disposable tools. They were there only to serve their purpose. The changed ones wouldn’t last long anyway. The real problem came with what hadn’t happened.

  Brownstone had never transformed. It was obvious from the first attack that the bounty hunter hadn’t used whatever artifact strengthened him and produced his powerful suit. In the second attack, his ability to take so many direct blasts proved he was using his artifact, but he hadn’t transformed. No armor, no helmet, no green rays of destruction.

  This would not do. Controlling Brownstone would require the man to be at his maximum potential, which was associated with the rage and anger He Who Hunts had tasted earlier. The red crystal would require it.

  He Who Hunts glided over to an open door leading to another room. He had to be careful. Attacking Brownstone with serious force would be the best way to pull out his true nature, but it risked bringing the government to reinforce the man. If he couldn’t corrupt Brownstone before the government got involved, he’d be forced to leave Earth for a while. All his time with the Council, all the corrupt threads he’d woven through Earth—everything could be wasted.

  Brownstone couldn’t be left behind. He was too useful a tool of chaos and death. He’d slaughtered hundreds of men in a mad quest to avenge a mere beast.

  Insofar as He Who Hunts could feel affection, he was starting to like James Brownstone.

  He Who Hunts floated into another room. Dozens of people lay on the ground, their hands and feet bound with glowing red magical thread.

  “Please,” a man cried. “I just want to go home.”

  More sobs and pleas came in a half-dozen languages. It’d been risky grabbing raw materials from all over the Earth. He Who Hunts could never be sure if the PDA or other such groups would be able to track him, but harvesting all of the necessary raw materials from Los Angeles wasn’t practical. For now, he had enough for the next phase in his plan.

  “You should rejoice,” he rasped, his voice hollow and cold. “You are about to be repurposed into something far more useful.”

  Chapter Eleven

  An insistent knock came from James’ front door.

  Shay frowned. “Who the fuck is that?”

  James rose from the couch and headed toward the door. “Someone I’ve been expecting.”

  Something wasn’t sitting right with Shay about the raid a few days prior. The government had paid the bounty. They also admitted they’d not seen so much as a single red particle of He Who Hunts, but it was hard for her to believe the creature was dead, even though James seemed certain.

  Am I just looking for reasons to be paranoid, or is he looking for reasons to pretend everything’s okay?

  James opened the door to reveal a pack of tween children.

  Shay blinked. That was about the last thing she expected.

  James reached into his pocket to pull out his wallet and fish out a few large bills. He handed one to each of the kids. “Find anything?”

  Okay, that explains why he’s carried so much cash on him. I thought he was just using it to pay informants. But kid informants?

  The kids all shook their heads. “Don’t have much left, just the blocks near the grocery store and the old warehouse. The target hasn’t been sighted.”

  He nodded. “That’s about eighty percent of the neighborhood. Remember, you’ll get a finder’s fee as well.”

  T
he children saluted James. “Yes, sir, Mr. Brownstone. We’ll find him.”

  They all turned and scampered off.

  James closed the door and grunted.

  “What the fuck was that?” Shay gestured to the door. “Please don’t tell me you’re using kids to look for bounties now. Kids are stupid. They won’t know to stay away. They’ll get excited and draw attention to themselves.”

  She winced at a sudden thought.

  Lily’s not a kid, she’s an older teen, and she can see into the fucking future, even before counting her reflexes.

  James headed back to the couch and dropped down across from Shay. “Nah, I wouldn’t need kids to look for a bounty. I’ve got them looking for something else.” He shrugged and scratched his chin.

  Shay narrowed her eyes. The last thing she needed was an evasive James Brownstone.

  “Care to elaborate?”

  He blinked. “About what?”

  “On what exactly they’re looking for?” Shay gave him a wicked grin. “I could get Peyton involved and save you some time.”

  “It’s not a big deal. Just a way to get some help and give the kids extra money.” James grunted and shrugged.

  Shay laughed. “You’re a shitty liar. Even Alison’s better at lying than you.”

  He frowned. “What’s she lying about?”

  She smirked. “Just saying. But we’re not talking about her, we’re talking about you and what you’re keeping from me.”

  James muttered something under his breath. “Dog.”

  “Dog?” Shay frowned. “Huh?”

  “I told you about that dog I saw the other day. I’m sure it’s the same one I almost ran over with my truck.”

  Shay nodded slowly. “Yes, and…”

  James shrugged. “I think it’s still in the neighborhood. I don’t have time to go all over the neighborhood myself, so I’ve been paying the neighborhood kids to keep an eye out for it. It’s not like I have Alison around to see his soul energy in the distance.”

  She sighed and shook her head. “Don’t you think you’re obsessing a little over one stray dog?”

  “No.” He pursed his lips. “Tyler, maybe?”

  “Tyler?” Shay blinked. “Are you saying you’re going to call Tyler up and ask him to help you find a stray dog?” She laughed. “Seriously?”

  James nodded. “Yeah, good point. That fucker would never let me hear the end of it.”

  Shay stared at James.

  That’s not what I was getting at, and why the hell would Tyler even know where the dog is? I should do something about this. I should stop this. If he’s this OCD about the dog now, he’s probably not ready for it.

  James nodded, mostly to himself. “I’ll figure something out.”

  Shay just sighed and slumped in her seat.

  “What’s wrong?” James asked.

  “Nothing. Just thinking about dogs. Ever thought about getting a poodle?”

  He snorted. “No.”

  Shay smirked. “Just asking.”

  Kathy stepped out of her car and took a deep breath. The nearby streetlights flickered. The last thing she wanted was to wander around in pitch-black darkness after a long shift working at the Black Sun.

  Geeze. Can’t they do something as simple as make sure our street lights are working? Welcome to LA, where the politicians love your taxes, and they love spending them all on hookers and blow.

  She slammed her car door and locked it with her key fob before heading toward the stairs leading to her apartment. Her heels clacked on the cold concrete.

  Kathy’s feet hurt. Tyler insisted she wear heels while she worked at the Black Sun to play up her sexiness. Of course, every little advantage led to extra tips. She was under no illusion that she wasn’t attractive. She depended on it.

  Only an idiot didn’t use every advantage available. She’d always been smart, probably too smart for her own good, but careful cultivation of her sexiness ensured a lot of men would evaluate her with their dicks and not their brains, which meant they underestimated her. Even Tyler.

  Still, sometimes playing up that sexiness hurt, especially after a long day on her feet.

  At least now I have some chance at a future, rather than when I was stuck as a pet of that mob asshole in New York.

  Kathy blew out a breath. She had a new life now in a new city, and she needed to take advantage of all her chances to build up her own business and not be so dependent on Tyler.

  She slowed as she closed on the stairs, listening, and her heart sped up. There was nothing but the distant sound of cars and wind, but she couldn’t get over the feeling of eyes watching her.

  Maybe I just let that freak in the warehouse get into my head. I’m fine. I don’t…

  Movement in the shadows by the bushes caught her attention.

  Damn it. Shit.

  Kathy ripped her gun out of her purse and pointed it toward the bushes. “Don’t think I won’t put every bullet in this gun into you. Turn around and run the fuck away with your hands above your head.”

  The shadow continued to move, but she couldn’t see anyone.

  Still hiding under the bushes, asshole?

  “Show yourself, or I will blow your head off.”

  She only didn’t fire because she didn’t want to risk nailing some poor cat or teen who’d been running around without his parents’ permission.

  A shadow shuddered and moved, detaching itself from the wall and moving past the bushes until it reached the sidewalk. She blinked, trying to find the source of the shadow, but there was nothing.

  “What the fuck?”

  The form stalked toward her in the shape of a large man, an insubstantial twitching mass of darkness.

  Kathy gasped and stumbled backward, keeping her gun up. “I don’t know who or what the fuck you are, but this is your last chance before I open fire.”

  The shadow man continued to stalk silently forward.

  Kathy shattered the still of the night with a single shot at the advancing mass. Surprisingly, the sound was muted, as if something were swallowing it. The shadow vanished when the bullet struck it.

  She blinked several times, not wanting to believe what had just happened but unwilling to dismiss it. Magic made all things possible.

  Swallowing, she marched toward where she’d seen the strange sight. Something glinted in the dim illumination from the streetlights—the crumpled remains of a bullet.

  Shit. I definitely hit something.

  Kathy took a deep breath and ran toward the stairs. She hurried up them toward her apartment, ignoring her sore feet. Upon arrival at the top, she tapped the code into her lock, and the door clicked open.

  She stepped inside, turned on the lights, and slammed her door shut. She slapped the lock button and took several deep breaths.

  What the fuck was that all about?

  Kathy stared down at her gun and took several additional deep breaths before tossing it back in her purse. That was why she carried the damned thing. Protection. She’d just never expected she’d need protection from a random shadow monster.

  She slumped to the floor, her back against the door.

  It wasn’t her first time ever killing someone. She’d been forced to when she left New York, but it was her first time killing some weird shadow man.

  Her phone rang, and she pulled it out of her purse and frowned. Unknown number.

  What now?

  “Hello?”

  “Excellent,” replied a hollow and wheezing voice. She recognized it instantly. The Eyes.

  Of course. I should have fucking known. The son of a bitch.

  Kathy sighed. “I take it the weird shadow man was your doing?”

  “Yes. I needed to test you.”

  She snorted. “Did you test Tyler this way too?”

  “No. Every relationship is unique, and every relationship must be tested in its own way.” He let out a wheezy laugh. “It was interesting.”

  At least I don’t have to look into hi
s creepy eyes without a body this time.

  Kathy blew out a breath. “Okay, so what was the test? To see if I walk around armed?”

  “No. Many carry weapons or magic to defend themselves. A weapon proves nothing. No, I needed to test if you are brave enough to live. I value relationships only with creatures who possess such bravery.”

  “So I passed?”

  “Yes.” Another quiet snicker followed. “I look forward to getting to know you in the future.”

  Kathy shuddered. Geeze, is this thing trying to establish a business relationship or hit on me?

  “Another test is coming soon,” the Eyes continued. “Danger is coming. Find it and stop it before it comes. If you can, you might be worth paying more attention to. If not, no bother. Disappointments are common in life and…death.”

  Kathy frowned. “Danger? To the city?”

  “Among other things.”

  “Don’t you care if someone messes up LA? That’s got to affect you, too.”

  The Eyes responded with a wheezing laugh. “This entire city could die, and I wouldn’t care. I’d just move on. I only care to test you, little girl. If you’re still alive soon, perhaps we’ll talk.”

  The line went dead.

  Kathy stared at the phone for several moments before shaking her head. She had a newfound respect for Tyler. If this was the kind of shit he had to deal with on a regular basis, he had far bigger balls than she’d given him credit for.

  Fuck it. I might regret it later, but if I’m going to up my information broker game, I’ve got to start playing with the big boys.

  Chapter Twelve

  Trey yawned as his eyes flickered open. Zoe’s popcorn ceiling was still unfamiliar, but once he realized where he was a comfortable smile took over his face. That was, until he saw the writhing tendrils and sharp teeth on the bright yellow plant looming over him. It looked like an odd mix of a fern and a Venus Fly Trap.