“What the fuck? You are the ugliest-ass plant I have ever seen.”
The maw dropped toward him, and Trey’s hand jerked up to the stem, pushing the whole thing back. He squeezed for a few seconds before realizing it was pointless. It wasn’t like he could choke out a plant. The tendrils wrapped around his arm.
“Motherfucking weak-ass photosynthesizing sonofabitch. Fuck you. I’ll show you why animals rule this motherfucking planet.”
A floral mist spread over him from behind and the plant stopped moving, the mouth closing entirely.
A soft, feminine sigh sounded behind him. “Sorry. I’d forgotten to treat it with the mist before bed last night. A certain man of great sexual endurance distracted me.”
Trey let go of the plant and shrugged. “Shit happens.”
Zoe sat on the end of the bed, naked and glorious, a soft smile on her face. She crossed her arms beneath her ample chest. “I’m very impressed. Many men wouldn’t react instantly and would still be disturbed afterward.”
“Ain’t no problem. That’s not even the strangest thing that’s tried to kill me this week.” Trey chuckled. “Some of those leftover Council guys were fucked up. I don’t know if they were from Oriceran or summoned from Hell or some shit.”
Zoe’s smile faded. “I forget at times just how dangerous your life is. I suppose I shouldn’t, given how many healing potions I’m supplying your agency with these days.” She shook her head. “James Brownstone is like a fire. Fire is glorious. It can do so many things, and warm you on cold nights. Humanity would have been nothing without it, but I worry for you and your friends—that you’ll be consumed by that fire.”
Trey snorted. “I can handle myself around the big man.”
She crawled toward him to stare into his eyes, her face right in front of his. “Your friend died, though. Doesn’t it disturb you?”
Trey nodded slowly and shrugged. “You have to understand, Zoe. We all were nothing but gangbangers before. We all were gonna die doing what we were doing, except over stupid shit like turf and drugs, not defending the planet from weird-ass magic bitches.”
“And what of James? Did it affect him at all? Sometimes I wonder about him. A man who bathes in so much blood—can he truly have a heart?”
Trey laughed. “Damn. You ain’t seen him around his daughter.” He waved. “And don’t be thinking he didn’t give a shit about Shorty. He’s more busted up than any of us, even if he don’t show it on the outside. He gives a fuck, and he shows it all the time in his own way.”
Zoe tilted her head, her eyes filling with curiosity. “Oh?”
“Yeah. Not just the healing potions, but the anti-magic deflectors. The big man’s pouring a shit-ton of money into protection. I don’t see all the books, because most of the accounting is done by an outside firm, so I don’t even know how profitable the agency is. I mean, he had piles of cash from years of hunting before, but he’s probably barely turning a profit.” Trey slapped his hand on his chest. “Because he gives more of a shit about making sure we’re okay than making a profit.”
Trey hopped out of bed buck naked and started pacing. “Not only that, but he leads from the front. The last Council raid…you should have seen that shit. Brother comes marching right in there and just takes it when these wizards are going all firing squad on his motherfucking ass. I don’t care how badass his artifacts are, that takes huge fucking balls.” He stopped pacing to stare at Zoe. “I ain’t got nothing but mad respect for James Brownstone, and I know the best way to honor Shorty is by continuing to take down pieces of shit with the big man.”
Zoe’s breath caught, and she blinked several times. “I’m…impressed. I don’t know if that’s brave or foolish, but I’m impressed.”
He grinned and shrugged. “I’ve got to be me.” He glanced at the clock. “Shit, also have to get going soon.”
She stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. “Could you spare maybe a few minutes?”
“Why?”
The witch ran her hand over her body and licked her lips. “Because I’d like a little more fun before you leave.”
Trey shrugged and hopped on the bed. “I’ll just tell them I needed a little exercise. This shit’s a better workout than PT with the staff sergeant.”
Shay took a bite of her scrambled eggs and set down her fork. She stared at James as he gobbled down bacon as if pigs were about to go extinct. Worry knotted her stomach as she thought about James getting blasted by the wizards.
His amulet can adapt to a lot, but he shouldn’t always assume he’ll be okay. Just because the Council wizards tended to use a certain type of magic didn’t mean another batch would. The damn thing’s impressive, but it’s not going to save his life if someone rips his head off.
Her heart sped up at the thought of James dying. She almost wanted to laugh. She’d spent so many years not giving a shit about anyone but herself. Even her friends were either covers or people she’d betray with little thought, but now she loved a man enough to have trouble imagining what the future would be like without him.
Damn. Old Shay would kick my ass for being such a little weepy bitch.
“Ever thought about quitting?” she murmured.
James looked up from his plate. “Quitting what? Bacon? Fuck, no.” He frowned. “If I had to choose between bacon and barbeque I’d choose barbeque, but otherwise no.”
Shay laughed. “It always comes down to meat for you, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah. What’s life without good meat?”
She licked her lips. “Something I ask myself a lot.” She waved a hand and laughed. “We’re getting off-track. I’m not talking about bacon.”
James grunted. “Then what are you talking about?”
Shay shrugged. “It’s just something I’ve been thinking a lot lately. You’ve always been a badass, but over this last year your reputation has spread in a big way, and you’ve taken on enemies who were crazy-stronger than you’ve ever handled before. With my help, you’ve destroyed two international criminal organizations. You fought off an entire army of hitmen. You took down a psychic monster despite having more baggage than a United flight between Los Angeles and Atlanta. In Japan, even though I helped, you killed five of the top hitmen in the world.” She shook her head. “You took down the Queen of the Drow in a one-on-one fight, not to mention being key in taking down the Council, a group so tough that several other class-six bounty hunters died taking them on, along with special forces troops.”
A smug grin settled on James’ face.
Damn it. I didn’t mean to fluff him.
Shay scrubbed a hand over her face. “The point is, you went from a badass to a next-level badass.”
The grin faded. “Yeah, I did a lot of that shit, but I also had help, like you said. Not just you, but Peyton, Heather, and the guys from the agency. Maria. Fuck, even Tyler.”
Shay took a deep breath. “The higher you punch, the more people are noticing you, both good and bad. That means cities like Detroit and Vegas, let alone the feds, are throwing big jobs at you, but you’ve had a lot of assholes target you. That’s a big reason you had to take on a lot of those guys. The Drow, the Harriken, and now those last remnants of the Council.”
James frowned. “The Drow had nothing to do with me being a bounty hunter. They were trying to get to Alison.”
Shay rolled her eyes. “And you got involved in all that because you’re a bounty hunter. Look, I’m not saying anything about Alison. I love her too. I’m glad you saved her, and I don’t regret helping you take out those Harriken, even if we didn’t save her mother. I’m more concerned about how many new enemies you’re picking up and what that might mean for your continued ability to keep breathing.”
He snorted. “It’s been nothing we can’t handle, even these Council assholes. We’ve taken out the safe houses, and we took out all those fuckers in the tunnels. No one got seriously hurt.” He shrugged. “Well, no one on our side.”
She pursed her lips. “It’s
just something to think about. You’ve got a daughter now. It’s important to think about her future too.”
James’ face twitched.
Damn, that was a low blow. I shouldn’t hide behind Alison like that, but anything to at least get him thinking about this shit.
Shay held up a hand. “I get it. I was a killer for a long time. It was hard switching jobs.”
James shook his head. “I’m not gonna stop being a bounty hunter just because a few assholes have tried to kill me. I’m still more annoyed they damaged Phillips than that they tried to kill me. People being after me is nothing new. The Harriken and these Council assholes were a little tougher than what I had to deal with back in the day, but I’ve gotten tougher, too, and not just because of Whispy Doom.” He grunted. “Don’t really care. What would I even do if I quit? I like to think I could open a barbeque place, but I’m not a businessman. I’d probably punt some fucker through the wall the first time he talked shit about my sauce, so I’ll keep taking down assholes until I need a walker. You really that worried?”
“I don’t know.” Shay shrugged. “I just worry every time I leave that some fucker’s gonna come and kill you, and I won’t be there to have your back.” She sighed and grinned. “If you do die, I’m gonna be forced to go on a bloody whirlwind tour of vengeance, and that’s gonna keep me really busy.”
James grunted. “I’ll try to make sure I only die when you’re on vacation.”
“That would be helpful.”
He chuckled. “Doesn’t matter for now. The Council’s finished. He Who Hunts is dead, or he would have already shown up. I think it was just a few of their low-level punks trying to prove some shit or going off of final orders.” He grinned. “You should be happy. I’m gonna take a few weeks off and concentrate on barbeque. We need to get the PFW team ready for our next competition. It’ll be nice and relaxing, good bonding for the guys, just them on a few low-level bounties. They’re all taking Shorty’s death well, but they’ve also been very busy. I don’t want to run them into the ground.”
No problem with encouraging him to focus on his barbeque team for a while.
Shay smiled. “That sounds good. It’s not like Los Angeles will fall apart just because you don’t kick half a dozen asses a month. Relax and obsess over barbeque for a while. Save the beatdowns for judges who criticize your meat.”
He nodded. “Yeah, also gives me more time to find the dog.”
Shay winced and shook her head. “I don’t know if you’re ready for another dog.”
“How the hell can I not be ready for a dog? I had a dog for years.” James looked and sounded more confused than angry.
She sighed. “Maybe it’s more that I’m worried about the city.”
“Worried about the city?”
Shay nodded. “If someone hurts your new dog, you might destroy the city.” She shrugged. “If you want a new pet maybe you should get one, but that random stray dog isn’t your responsibility. Why not go to a breeder or a shelter or something? And the dog might not even be a stray. Maybe it already wandered home to some other barbeque-loving bounty hunter. If you pick one out yourself, you’ll be able to make sure that it’s perfectly suited for your personality.”
“This isn’t about me. It’s about the dog.” James shook his head. “If he’s not a stray, then his owner is a fucking moron. He shouldn’t let his dog wander the neighborhood where he might get hit by a car. That’s fucking irresponsible. Dogs get out, sure. Leeroy did on occasion too, but I’ve seen that dog a few times now, so I don’t think he’s got an owner.”
“What are you going to do? I know you have the Little Rascals running around trying to track the dog. Are you going to use your bounty hunter skills to track down a stray dog?” Shay snorted. “It’s not like you can go rough up raccoon informants for his whereabouts. He’s a dog.”
He sat there for a moment, his brow furrowed.
Oh, shit. I just gave him an idea, didn’t I?
James grinned and nodded. “You’re right, Shay. I need to stop thinking of this dog like a stray and start thinking of him like a bounty.”
Shay chuckled. “What does that mean? Do I need to tell all the raccoons to get out of Los Angeles County?”
James shook his head. “I got a good look at the dog, good enough that I have those kids running around searching for him. I’m sure Heather can do some of her shit with drones and find him. Algorithms or some shit like that. This isn’t about me getting the dog. I just want to make sure he’s okay. If he’s someone’s dog, I’ll have a conversation with them about proper pet ownership.”
“I’m sure that will be painful for them.” Shay smirked.
James shrugged. “If they’ve been a bad owner. If not, then I can take the dog to the shelter until I’m ready for a new dog.”
“Chihuahua?”
He stared at her.
She shrugged. “The contrast would be hysterical.” She sighed. “You’re no fun.”
James grunted.
Okay, so James is getting a new dog soon. Oh, I really, really hope this dog isn’t a furry little shit.
Shay cleared her throat. “Just curious. Setting aside breed, if you had a dog, what would you name him?”
She worried about him going with Leeroy II.
James frowned. “Don’t know. Hadn’t thought about it much.”
Shay nodded. “Okay. Do what you need to do, but I can’t call Peyton back from vacation for this.”
“It’s okay. Between the kids and Heather, I’m sure we can find the dog.” James nodded, his face filled with determination.
If he can take out the Harriken and the Council, he can find one stupid dog in his neighborhood.
Chapter Thirteen
“James hasn’t called Heather yet, but it’s only a matter of time,” Shay explained and picked up her fork. “This is a new level of obsession.”
Maria shrugged. “Sounds like a man who needs a new pet. I’m not much of a pet girl myself, but I can understand the bond between a man and his dog.”
She munched on her forkful of salad as Maria sipped a lemonade. As much as Shay liked some of her other friends, they all still believed she was only an archaeology professor. Since Maria knew the truth, it made hanging out with her far more relaxing—such as with today’s refreshing lunch date.
Light conversation and equally light jazz flowed around them at the busy bistro. It wasn’t the fanciest place she’d been to in a while, but it was perfect for a peaceful afternoon.
This is what a normal life should be. Okay, maybe not normal, but at least real. Actual friends. Actual people I can talk to without having to remember what lies I told them. People who respect me for what I do and aren’t planning on shooting me the first chance they get, or who would run away screaming if they knew the truth.
Shay sighed. “I just hope he’s not building up that particular dog too much. He might just be misunderstanding the situation with it wandering around. I don’t know. I’ve never really been big on the pet thing myself. All the men in my life seem to love them, though. And it gives James something to do now that the Council crap is finally over. I wasn’t so sure, but if He Who Hunts is still alive, I doubt he would have waited so long to make his next move.”
Maria nodded. “Yeah, Tyler hasn’t heard anything. I know he’s got Kathy chatting with an informant, but all he was willing to spill was the informant didn’t have anything else useful to say other than the previous tunnel tip. He’s acting cagey, but that doesn’t mean anything. I’m sleeping with the guy, and I still think he’s trying to figure out how to charge me for information about the location of his apartment.”
“Got to accept our men as they are.” Shay grinned, and the women shared a laugh.
Maria folded her hands in front of her, her face tightening. “I’ve got something to tell you.”
Shay looked up. “Don’t tell me you’ve heard that Council bastard’s still around through the cops or something.” She groaned. “I
thought this shit was finally over. I like it when my biggest worry about James is whether he’s going overboard looking for a dog.”
The other woman laughed and shook her head. “Nothing like that. Barely been paying attention to that kind of thing the last few weeks other than what I hear through Tyler.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m not a cop anymore.”
Shay blinked several times and set her fork down. “What? I thought you were just on a leave of absence.”
“I was.” Maria shrugged. “And I’ve turned it into official retirement. I guess hanging out with you all has corrupted me. I can’t take all the red tape and political bullshit anymore. It’s not a horrible deal. I’ve already put in twenty years, so I even get a pension.”
“You know my story. Sometimes changing jobs is great for sanity.” Shay shrugged.
Maria smirked. “Your old job was…” she looked around, “a little more questionable than being a cop.”
Shay winked. “It’s all a matter of perspective. Any thoughts on what you’re going to do now?”
“I’m…bouncing ideas around.” Maria waved a hand. “But I don’t want to talk about that right now. I wanted to invite you to my going-away party. The rest of the AET guys are throwing it. Hell, Weber’s organizing it.” She shook her head, disbelief coloring her face.
“What’s wrong with that? Is he shitty at planning parties?” Shay furrowed her brow. She was far from an expert on decent parties herself, other than the ones she snuck into to kill people.
“No, nothing like that. It’s just I’m honestly surprised. I’m not an idiot. I know I can be a hardass and a bitch. I’ve always kind of secretly wondered if most of the guys hated me. It wasn’t like they were going to say shit to me when I was their boss, but now that I’m leaving they’re throwing me a party.” Maria sighed and smiled. “I’m not going to get all weepy or crap like that. Don’t worry.”
Shay reached over the table and patted her hand. “Glad to hear your guys like you.” She leaned in to whisper, “One of the reasons I left my old job was that one of my own friends tried to kill me for a contract, so I know a thing or two about that kind of shit.”
Karma Is A Bitch: An Urban Fantasy Action Adventure (The Unbelievable Mr. Brownstone Book 12) Page 10