Tom Collivander and the Order of the Thunderbird, A Potter Parody

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Tom Collivander and the Order of the Thunderbird, A Potter Parody Page 13

by Jonathan Lockwood


  Chapter 9 – Hogrod’s little secret

  Over the next few days, all the school could talk about was the match. Tom had been assured by Harry, during the next DL meeting that it would go down in Hogwash history as one of the best matches the school had seen. During that meeting, Hermione had announced their solution to scheduling a meeting. They were going to use fake galleons that showed the date and time of the next meeting where the serial number usually went. Harry’s controlled all the others. Tom still thought that phones would be a much simpler idea but he didn’t want to point it out again because it seemed Hermione had spent a long time coming up with this far more complicated solution.

  It had to be said that Tom was thoroughly enjoying the praise and attention he was getting from everyone. The only smudge on his otherwise perfect week was that he was yet to talk to Isabelle. It’s not like he hadn’t tried, but whenever he got close to her, she miraculously disappeared. “She’s avoiding me,” Tom had said, irritably, to Amber after the third time of her asking if he’d done it yet as she came over to him in the Ravensnore common room.

  “Well surly that means that your relationship is over,” she said hopefully.

  “Tell you what, if I can’t get her to listen to me by the end of tomorrow, I’ll give up.”

  “Fair enough.”

  She said no more after this so Tom went back to talking to Boris. They’d been discussing politics. “Dude, you’ve got to sort it out. Do you even know if you want to go out with Amber?”

  “Yes” he said firmly. “But I still need to talk to Isabelle, it’s what’s right.”

  So far his plans he’d thought of on the night of the Quidditch match hadn’t worked but he wasn’t going to give up, he just had to change tactics. He’d tried to get her on her own to save her some embarrassment but that clearly wasn’t working so he’d have to confront her in a public place where she couldn’t escape. Boris yawned and said, “See you Tom, have a good Christmas.”

  “You too.”

  The Christmas holidays were starting tomorrow and so most kids were packing for going home to their families but Tom wasn’t. He didn’t want to go back to the shop where time stood still.

  Luckily for Isabelle, when Tom finally cornered her in the great hall at lunch the next day, most of the kids had already left and so it was much quieter than normal. “Tom, what are you doing here? Can’t you take a hint?” she said irritably.

  Tom tried to sound imposing, “I want to talk to you. You don’t know the whole situation but you keep avoiding me when I try to catch you when you’re alone.”

  She looked outraged at this and said with a raised voice, “So am I supposed to think that you have my best interests at heart after what you did?”

  He took a deep breath and said, “Yes,” softly.

  But she wasn’t having any of it. She looked as if she was going to explode but then Tom had a brilliant idea. His cube of illusion. He took it everywhere he went. He found it in his pocket and turned it. He was used to the feeling it gave him, since he’d used it a few times to get past Wilch to get to the Hag’s leg but this time, it felt completely different. It must vary depending on the desired outcome he thought. The effect was immediately apparent, Isabelle stopped raging and started to relax. She then was complacent and listened to what Tom wanted to say. He told her all about the situation and how he felt about it. “So you see, I never intended for this to happen I would never want to hurt you, you must know that,” he said in conclusion.

  To his relief, she said, “I understand and I forgive you. We weren’t made for each other anyway.”

  Tom stuck out his arm, “Friends?”

  “Friends,” and she shook his hand. As he left the hall, he was oblivious to the onlookers who had been listening. He was incredibly happy about how it had turned out. Finally.

  Immediately, he went to find Amber and tell her the good news. She was, if possible, more delighted than him when he found her. “Fantastic!” she said as she hugged him.

  “So Amber, do you want to do something together?”

  “I can’t Tom, I’m going home in an hour and I need to finish packing.”

  Tom was slightly disappointed but didn’t show it. “You’re not staying over Christmas?”

  She looked upset. “Sorry, Tom. I have plans with my relatives. But I’ll see you in January.”

  ”Sure. I understand. Have a good Christmas.”

  “You too.”

  Tom kissed her and left.

  He’d planned to spend the afternoon in the gym but he was feeling so good about himself and the sun was shining high in the clear blue sky so he decided to go for a gentle walk in the grounds. The grounds were so beautiful. It was much easier to appreciate them when the weather was fine and there were less people about. As he strolled by the lake, he noticed something out of the ordinary. Professor Hogrod was lurking around the edge of the deadly forest looking rather suspicious. He was severely bruised and was carrying something hidden that appeared to be very heavy, judging by Hogrod’s stature.

  Tom walked over to him and as he approached, Hogrod noticed him and quickly hid the package behind a tree. “Tom, how are you? It’s been a while.”

  He said nervously, “Hey Professor. I’m great, thanks for asking. How are you?”

  “Call me Hogrod, Tom. Everyone does. How come you haven’t gone home for Christmas?”

  “I figured more would be happening here than back in diagonal alley. Besides, there’s not much left for me back home.” Tom’s smile faded.

  “I understand Tom. I’ve been by myself for years now. No blood family left. Hogwash has been my home for decades, my family lives here.”

  Keen to change the topic of conversation, Tom said, “What are you up to with that package Hogrod?”

  Hogrod shuffled his feet. “What are you talking about Tom? There’s nothing here.”

  “Come on Hogrod, you can tell me. I’m part of Dumby’s special task force.” Hogrod’s look of dumbfound showed that he hadn’t known, so Tom elaborated. “I’ve been helping him this year with a few things and he told me that you work with him as well, along with Harry and Professors Snipe and McMogal.”

  Hogrod found his voice, “Well, I wasn’t expecting that. Great man, Dumby is, but I didn’t think he would put so much trust in teenagers.”

  “He uses Trotter,” Tom protested.

  “Yeah, he does. But Harry is Harry isn’t he. He who must not be named and him have got some unfinished business haven’t they. But enough of that, if you’re good enough for Dumby than I suppose I can tell you... It’s a sack of meat.” And he showed it to Tom.

  “Hogrod, I know you look after loads of animals but that’s got to be an awful lot of animals to need all that meat.”

  Hogrod chuckled to himself. “Not loads of animals Tom. Just the one.”

  “Hogrod, you’re not saying what I think you’re saying are you?”

  Hogrod smiled even more. “Yep, do you want to come and have a look?”

  Tom’s heart started to beat twice as fast. “Of course, I’ve never seen one before. But how can you have one here. Surely it’s too dangerous?”

  Hogrod waved his hand, “Nah, I’ve got her trained well, she’s gonna be really useful. You mark my words. But enough of this talk in the open where people can hear. Follow me.”

  They walked deep into the forest. Tom had never been in before so was taken aback by just how large and dense it appeared to be. They walked for what felt like an hour until finally, Hogrod brought them to a halt. “She’s just through here,” he said gleefully. Sure enough, as Tom entered the clearing, in front of him he found a fully grown dragon. Her scales were like rubies, her spikes were up to two feet each and her claws were the size of a sofa.

  “Wow. Just wow!” Tom exclaimed, not being able to think of anything else to say.

  Hogrod appeared delighted, “I’m so glad you approve Tom. Most people don’t like dragons because they have the potential to kill
you, but they’re good to you if you know how to treat them properly.”

  Finding his words, Tom said, “She’s magnificent. I’ve never seen a fully grown dragon before. I’d heard tales of their might but this is beyond anything I expected. What’s her name?”

  “It’s Lyrotth. Named after the great fire dragon of the south.”

  “I know the tale Hogrod. Lyrotth was said to have destroyed the city of Pompeii in her rage with the humans when they attacked her.”

  Hogrod beamed at him, “I can see you really know your stuff. It’s so nice to have a friend who I can talk to about dragons. Even Dumby doesn’t care for them, even though he agrees they are necessary. You just wait. Once she’s awake, you’ll see the full truth of her magnificence. Only, best stay back here for the moment. She probably won’t take kindly to you seeing as you’re a stranger.”

  Tom was no fool. He knew it would be unwise to go up to Lyrotth straight away. “Agreed,” he said.

  So Hogrod went over to Lyrotth and placed the meat sack by her. He then patted her on the wing and spoke into her ear. Even though Tom knew Hogrod behaving correctly, a smile spread over his face. It was weird to see someone the size of Hogrod being so gentle to a dragon.’ As if on que, Lyrotth stirred. She took one look at Hogrod and then her nose smelt the succulent meat and she stared ripping it apart. She looked as if she hadn’t eaten for days which Tom thought odd, as surely she could get food whenever she wanted. Surely, nothing in this forest was a match for her.

  Lyrotth spend a few minutes devouring the meat whilst Hogrod remained by her side. Tom didn’t dare move any closer, although he had a funny suspicion that Lyrotth was watching him out of the corner of her eye. Sure enough, once she finished eating, she stared directly at him. That piercing, unblinking gaze kept him motionless as if something was keeping him rooted to the spot. She eventually turned away and became disinterested in both Tom and Hogrod. Hogrod took it as a sign to leave and walked back over to Tom. “She likes you,” he said, chuckling.

  “How can you tell? I didn’t do anything.”

  “The key is that she didn’t do anything. If she didn’t like you, you’d know it… Dragons are very slow and proud creatures as I’m sure you’re aware. Next time, try getting a bit closer to her and wait for her to respond.” Tom was pleased to hear there would be a next time. “Come on, I need to get back to my cabin,” Hogrod finished.

  On the journey back, Hogrod elaborated on the correct steps to befriending a dragon and why he was bringing her meat. It turned out that Hogrod cared for all the creatures in the forest and had developed a careful ecosystem. Lyrotth would completely unbalance it if she started to eat parts of it. Somehow, Hogrod had convinced Lyrotth not to hunt any of them. Instead, he brought her animals that were already dead or dying.

  After saying goodbye to Hogrod, Tom went back up to the castle for dinner. Only as he reached the great hall did he realise that it wasn’t time for dinner yet. So instead, he thought he’d grab some food from the kitchens and see Bonky at the same time. The moment he stepped through the doorway to the kitchen, lots of the house elves turned their heads towards the door and rushed over when they realised who it was. “Tom. It’s been too long. Can we be of service?”

  “I’m looking for Bonky, do you know where he is?”

  “He’s ill Tom,” one of the elves squeaked as others passed him a tray a biscuits. “Don’t worry though, he’ll be fine in a jiffy.”

  Another elf said, “Is there anything else we can do sir?”

  Tom said in a careful manner, “Please, could I make a special food request? Your cooking is always excellent at meals but there’s been a few things that I’ve never seen on the tables.” The elves looked at him, intrigued. “Can you make some fried chicken?”

  The elves seemed overjoyed at the compliment on their cooking and a few of them set to work as another explained. “There are a few things that are banned from school meals as they are considered too unhealthy, fried chicken being one of them. Pretty much anything in batter is banned to be honest. But we can make you some, of course we can. It will just take a bit longer because we’ll have to start from scratch.”

  It took about 10 minutes for the chicken to be done. In that time, he wandered around the kitchen, admiring the efficiency and enthusiasm of all the elves. The amount of work required for each meal was only just becoming apparent. He slipped in compliments here and there and by the time he left the kitchens with his chicken in a cauldron, the house elves were all sad to see him go.

  It had been another full day, but it was not over. As he walked up the staircases towards Ravensnore tower and his relaxing bedroom, munching on his chicken, he realised that he’d not reported to Dumby since the first DL meeting. So he changed direction and went towards Dumby’s office. Once outside his eagle statue, he muttered the password, ‘deadly dandelions’ but the statue didn’t budge. He said it again but still nothing happened.

  Coming to the conclusion that the password must have been changed, he turned to leave and try another time when the statue sprang to life and Abaforth Dumby came down the stairs. “Hey, Ab. How’s it going?”

  “Not too bad Tom.” He looked around to make sure no one else was listening. “Can I expect you in my pub for Christmas dinner? I can promise you you’ll enjoy it.”

  Tom was taken aback to be invited. “I’d be honoured Ab.”

  “Excellent. Well I best be off. Get to the Hag’s leg for 7pm on Christmas day.”

  He started to walk off. “Hey, Ab. Wait a minute. Do you know the password for your brother’s office? I thought it was deadly dandelions but it’s not working.”

  “That was the last one. It’s really annoying. It changes every now and again. Albus likes to keep us on our toes. It’s now poisonous parsnips.”

  “Thanks. See you.”

  Ab left and Tom uttered the password and went up to Dumby’s office. He knocked on the door twice and as before, the headmaster called, “Enter.” Although this time, he sounded a bit more tired than usual.

  “Tom, how did you manage to get in here? You don’t know the password.” It was not an accusation, more of a general interest.

  “I just met Ab in the hallway and he told me.”

  “I didn’t know you were on speaking terms with my brother,” said Albus, genuinely surprised.

  “Yeah, he’s a cool guy. I met him when I went into the Hag’s leg on your orders.”

  Dumby said to himself more than Tom, “I wonder why he never told me.”

  “With all due respect sir, you and your brother are quite similar in keeping secrets and getting straight down to business. He probably didn’t think it was worthy information.”

  Dumby didn’t speak for a while. He just stared into the fire in his office, pondering. He eventually looked away and addressed Tom again. “Like you say, let’s get down to business. Do you have information about my legion?”

  “I do. The meetings are going fairly well but there haven’t been that many of them because people can’t agree on a time to meet. But we’ve so far covered many counter curses, jinxes and hexes that could come in handy in combat... Being from Durmprang, I’ve already been taught all the stuff Harry’s teaching the group so I can tell you that people are improving greatly. Harry does seem to be a good teacher. People trust him and take his words as truth. I must admit, I’m surprised he can. I’ve personally thought most people think he’s making things up and that he wouldn’t have the patience to teach. But he’s currently proving me wrong,” said Tom, honestly.

  Albus seemed happy. “Good. Good. This is excellent news. Make sure he continues to teach the students and that he soon advances on to more challenging spells. I need to know that the students are more prepared.”

  “Very good sir.”

  “Well, if that is all Tom…”

  “That’s not quite all Albus. I happened to just run into Hogrod this afternoon and he showed me Lyrotth.”

  Again, Dumby paused for a mome
nt. He seemed more on edge this time but when he spoke, his voice was remarkably stable. “So, Tom. What do you think?”

  “Well, I think she is magnificent. But I don’t understand why there is a live dragon in the grounds.”

  “And you won’t until the time is right. I was not expecting Hogrod to show you her. Again, I’m surprised that you even know him well.”

  “You told me that he was in your special task force so I thought I should talk to him.”

  This was true, although he hadn’t spoken to Hogrod before today. But he knew Dumby would like to hear it. “Very good. Just make sure that you don’t visit Lyrotth without Hogrod unless he’s giving you permission. I’m sure you understand what potential danger there could be and I can’t take any risks with my students.”

  Because you’re not already by having a dragon here, he thought sarcastically. Tom could tell that Dumby was not fond of this conversation so he took it as a sign to leave and went to dinner

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