“I offered to stay here with him and live in the woods,” I said, starting to blubber.
“And?”
“He said he wanted to live on the island with me for a few centuries.”
“Still not seeing a problem here,” Poseidon stated, confused.
“He has a mate waiting for him—a Werewolf mate—a beautiful Werewolf mate. He won’t have to worry about having a hairy fish with claws and fangs.”
Poseidon choked in his rum and stared at me. “A what?” he asked, alarmed.
“A hairy fish with claws and fangs,” I repeated as the tears came faster. “He would have beautiful little Werewolf babies that looked like him. And they want him to be Alpha. That’s a really big deal. Even I know that.”
“Let me tell you something,” Poseidon said with a shake of his head. “Being in charge is not all it’s cracked up to be. The paperwork alone is gas inducing.”
“You are not helping me,” I hissed.
“My bad,” he said, backing up a bit.
I’d nailed him pretty hard earlier. I didn’t blame him.
“How about this,” Poseidon suggested. “You go out there and offer to kick his fake mate’s ass and tell those Lupine assholes that Rick is moving to the Mystical Isle with you.”
“That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” I snapped and then started a new round of sobbing. “I love him.”
“So what are you going to do?” he asked, patting my head like I was a dog and trying to comfort me.
It didn’t work, but the sentiment was appreciated.
“I’m going to leave,” I whispered as my heart broke into a million tiny pieces.
“Call me crazy,” he said.
“Crazy,” I replied.
“I wasn’t finished,” Poseidon said with an eye roll.
“Sorry—my bad.”
“I should say so,” he muttered. “If you love the idiot, why are you leaving?”
“Because I love him that much. I can’t take him away from his rightful destiny. If I go, he won’t have to make a decision. He’ll stay and be where he’s meant to rule. He’ll have a happy life with his people.”
“I see a lot of holes in that plan,” Poseidon said.
“You’re drunk,” I told him.
“Your point?” he asked, not following.
“Please send me home, Poseidon,” I begged. “I want to go home now.”
“I think you’re making a mistake here, little Mermaid.”
I thought over what Poseidon had just said. Occasionally he made sense. Right now, he didn’t. He had no clue how much I loved Rick and what I would sacrifice for that love. Doing the right thing was killing my soul, but taking Rick away from his world would destroy his. I would not do that. Ever. I would live out eternity on the Mystical Isle. Alone. I idly wondered for a second if a Mermaid had ever become a nun. I’d have to research that.
“I want to go home,” I told Poseidon.
“Are you sure?”
I nodded my head so I wouldn’t fall apart.
“As you wish, little Mermaid. “As you wish.”
Epilogue
Madison
“Just another freakin’ day in paradise,” I muttered to no one as I dipped back down under a crashing wave.
Swimming in the deep crystal blue ocean with schools of brightly colored fish used to calm my soul and make me feel alive. Now it left me feeling empty and sad. I’d been crying for the entire ten hours since I’d been home and Tallulah had finally ordered me to go for a long swim. She was certain it would help.
She was wrong.
My heart was shattered, but thankfully several lovely things had happened. The minute Kim, Neville and Bonar had arrived, Kim’s tail showed up. It was a lovely orange-red with some flecks of green. Of course, she freaked out, downed half a bottle of antacids and then fainted, but when she came around Bonar and Neville had joined her for her first dip in the sea as a Mermaid. It would be difficult to keep Kim conscious long enough to hear the new information she was going to have to take in, but Bonar would be right at her side.
Neville was a huge hit with everyone, which was no surprise at all. Pirate Doug was beside himself that Neville was his blood relative. He immediately dressed the little guy in a puffy shirt, breeches and boots.
Rick would have gotten a kick out of seeing his little alien dude dressed that way, but I wasn’t going to think about Rick other than to wish him all the happiness in the Universe. I would have to find my own happiness knowing that he was fulfilling his destiny. It sucked, but it was right. I’d even purchased Air Supply’s greatest hits on my phone during a particularly epic crying fit. I was going to adopt Rick’s old anthem. I’m All Out of Love fit me well now.
And horror of all horrors, it turned out that Pirate Doug loved Air Supply too. It made me sad to think how much fun he and Rick would have had starting a tribute band. They would have sucked all kinds of ass since Rick was tone deaf and people literally blew up when Pirate Doug sang, but they would have had such a good time.
Neville still thought Air Supply sucked, but he was a Gnome and that was a given. I was sure Neville was wearing pilfered clothes from Uncle Pirate Doug, but the little guy’s joy of being an honorary Pirate stopped me from asking where Pirate Doug had procured the outfit.
Kim was wildly alarmed by her new relation, Pirate Doug and did her best to keep a straight face as he regaled her with his adventures of stealing lawn furniture from Target. She had gone from a family of two to a family of many. I couldn’t wait for her to meet Rickety Shelia Clotlegs the Sea Hag. Rickety Shelia was another freakish spawn of Poseidon’s. It could take Kim a century to meet all of Poseidon’s offspring. She was going to need a lot of antacids.
Petunia had been strangely quiet upon her arrival, but I knew she would come around. With the love and attention my sisters were already lavishing on her, she would be fine. Finding her was one of the best parts of my adventure. She was lost and now she was found.
Poking my head above the water, I frowned and glanced around. I had a weird feeling of déjà vu. My heart was broken and I couldn’t shake the unrest in my soul. I hoped Tallulah was right. Maybe I could swim my cares away.
Doubtful, but I was going to try.
The icy cold water on my overheated skin no longer calmed me. Weaving in and out of the waves, I let my tail do most of the work. White foamy caps on the waves burst and slid back into the sea, morphing to a clear teal blue. The feeling of gliding through the salty water only made me remember the aquarium in Tennessee. The restlessness of the sea creatures and imagining my life without my Werewolf made my swimming almost manic. Moving fast enough was impossible. And I wasn’t sure if I was swimming toward my own personal hell or away. Something strange, or bad, or weird was going to happen… or possibly strange, bad and weird. Kind of like my shitty luck lately.
I supposed I could ask Poseidon to send me on another mission, but the thought was depressing.
I would just swim. I would swim all the oceans in succession. That should take a few months or years. I would tell my sisters I needed some alone time. I knew a few dolphins that might be up for a marathon swim. They didn’t actually speak, but that meant they couldn’t ask questions. Right now, I didn’t want to talk. And I was far too busy crying to actually make any sense anyway.
Closing my eyes and letting the currents take me where they chose. I sighed. I would miss Rick for all eternity. And Poseidon’s words haunted me.
Had I made a mistake?
No.
I loved Rick with all my heart. It would have been wrong to take him away from his brother and his pack. However, the thought of his blonde mate made me ill.
I would never love another. Never.
“Motherhumpin’ Chicken of the Sea,” I grunted as my eyes popped open to see what my head had bashed into. Even the currents weren’t on my side today. “What the heck?”
My head had connected with wood—the wooden hull of a ship. What
in the Seven Seas was a ship doing in the area? It was Friday. The cruise ships came in on Mondays. Unless Pirate Doug had taken our new friends on a sail, there was someone in our waters who shouldn’t be there.
No one was allowed in the waters around the Mystical Isle without permission. No one.
I swam to the surface to give whoever it was a piece of my mind and possibly a zap in the ass for being in my way. Just as I was about to let the boater have it, I gasped in shock. My body began to tingle and my never-ending supply of tears took over.
“I was wondering if you knew the way to the Mystical Isle?” the most beautiful man in the Universe inquired as he stood on deck with a raccoon on his head and a bunch of doggies and kitties at his feet.
I was too tear clogged to find my voice. Thankfully, Rick had no problem finding his.
“You see, I’m looking for a Mermaid. Her name is Madison Diane with the bootylicious can. Maybe you know her,” he said, pinning me with a stare that made me feel light headed. “She told me that she loved me and would never leave me… but then she did. She’s also supposed to take me blowhole diving in Hawaii. I love blowhole diving. Have you ever been?” he asked with a twinkle in his bright blue eyes.
Still unsure of my voice, I nodded.
“Here’s the funny thing,” Rick said, leaning over the rail of the ship and grabbing me under my arms.
He heaved me up, put my soaking wet body on his lap and held me tight. My tail twitched with delight and Thor, the skinny pit bull, wandered over and laid his head on my shoulder.
“So as I was saying,” Rick continued, gently pushing my wet hair out of my face. “I heard a rumor from a nutjob wearing a diaper that she left so that I could fulfill my destiny—you know become the Alpha, mate with a woman I don’t even know and have no desire to mate with.”
“She was really pretty,” I whispered and then hid my face against his massive chest.
Putting two fingers under my chin, he lifted my face so our eyes met and locked. “I didn’t notice,” he said. “I only have eyes for one woman. The woman who loves the real me, and that’s you. You are my destiny.”
“They want you to be the Alpha,” I protested, needing to kiss him more than I wanted to take my next breath.
“I’d rather get a nine-to-five,” he said with a laugh. “And if you had stayed just a bit longer you would have heard me tell my brother to shove the Alpha job up his ass—too much paperwork for me. I’m much happier scaling buildings, riding motorcycles blindfolded and getting stabbed in the ass by a sexy mermaid with pink hair than I would be leading a bunch of carnivores who think I’m an idiot with a death wish.”
“For real?” I asked with a tiny smile starting to pull at my lips.
“Yep. And you would have gotten a real kick out of this part. I told all of them in no uncertain terms that I would not mate with anyone except the woman who could see me—the real me. The one who liked what she saw even with all the flaws. However, when I called to her to come meet my pack she was gone.”
“Oh my gods,” I said, hiding my face again in his chest. “I’m so sorry.”
“Nah, it was funny. My brother thinks I’m making you up—called you Miss Snuffleupagus,” he said with a laugh. “After I kicked his ass for saying that, we decided to let bygones be bygones.”
“He’s your brother,” I said, feeling so at home in Rick’s strong arms. “You should keep in touch.”
“Madison, what I have with my brother is not like what you have with your sisters,” he said, pressing his forehead to mine. “Sometimes you get lucky with your family. And sometimes you don’t.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, tracing his full lips with my finger.
Rick grinned. “I’m not. Families don’t have to be blood-related, baby. If your family doesn’t want you, you create your own. You’re my family now. And if you ever run off like that again without talking to me first, I’m gonna have to sing Air Supply songs to you nonstop for three weeks.”
“One week,” I bargained with a laugh—a real laugh full of joy.
“Two weeks and you have yourself a deal and some bloody eardrums.”
“I’ll take it,” I whispered against his mouth. “How’s your Johnson doing?”
“He would very much like to get reacquainted with you. However, you have to promise me something.”
What’s that?”
“Next time you want to do something for my own good, I need you to talk to me first. You feel me?”
My grin widened and I reached down low. “I feel you and you feel damned good, Werewolf,” I said and then sobered at the enormity of what was happening. Cupping his face in my hands, I stared right into the depths of his bright blue eyes. “I’m so sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing. I love you. Do you want to stab me in the butt? I deserve it.”
“Nope, you did what you thought was right—but you were wrong. The right thing is breaking animals out of high kill shelters. The right thing was making sure my little alien dude survived his stowaway road trip. The right thing was not drinking Poseidon’s rum because he stores it by his nards. You catching my drift here?”
“I am,” I said with a giggle.
“And the wrong thing is to run from the person who makes you whole—who loves you completely. Forever,” he said, lifting me up and carrying me to the cabin on the ship. “You might want to lose the tail for a week. We’ve got some unfinished business to take care of.”
“A week?”
“A week,” he confirmed with a lopsided grin that made my heart skip a beat. “Once I bite you, we’re gonna boink for a while.”
“A week?” I repeated myself. “You can go for a week?”
“I’m a Werewolf, baby. And you’re my Mermaid. I can go for the rest of my life as long as you’re in my arms.”
And the man wasn’t lying. We spent a week on the boat boinking until neither of us could see straight. Upton came and picked up the menagerie so they could have some shore leave. My sisters quietly delivered food while we were indisposed which was lovely of them… kind of. I knew they just wanted to check out my man and give me shit. I accepted it gracefully and Rick charmed them to the max during one of our boink breaks.
Life was so good.
I knew Rick and I would never play it safe. But dangerous on my own had lost its appeal. Without a partner in crime, life just wasn’t as much fun. I hadn’t known what I was missing until the insane Werewolf blasted into my life. And I thank the gods he did—most specifically, Poseidon. If it wasn’t for the wasted diaper-wearer playing matchmaker I would be alone.
Maybe we would get married. I mean, how much worse than Tallulah’s wedding could mine be? There was only one way to find out.
Mrs. Jack Rick with the enormous dick did have a nice ring to it.
— The End… for now —
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More In This Series
Sea Shenanigans
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Excerpt from: Switching Hour
This is an excerpt from Book 1 of the
original Magic and Mayhem series by Robyn Peterman.
GET YOUR COPY HERE!
1
"If you say or do anything that keeps my ass in the magic pokey, I will zap you bald and give you a cold sore that makes you look
like you were born with three lips."
I tried to snatch the scissors from my cell mate's hand, but I might as well have been trying to catch a greased cat.
"Look at my hair," she hissed, holding up her bangs. "They're touching my nose—my fucking nose, Zelda. I can't be seen like this when I get out. I swear I'll just do it a little."
"Sandy…" I started.
"It's Sassy," she hissed.
I backed up in case she felt the need to punctuate her correction with a left hook. You can pick your friends, your nose and your bust size, but you can't pick your cell mate in the big house.
"Right. Sorry. Sassy, you have never done anything just a little. What happened the last time you cut your own bangs? Your rap sheet indicates bang cutting is somewhat unhealthy for you."
She winced and mumbled her shame into her collarbone. "That was years ago. Nobody died and that town was a dump to start with."
"Fine." I shrugged. "Cut your bangs. What do I care if you look like a dorkus? We're out of here in an hour. After today we'll never see each other again anyway."
"You know what, Miss High and Mighty?" she shouted, brandishing the shears entirely too close to my head for comfort. "You're in here for murder."
That stopped me dead in my pursuit of saving her from herself. What the hell did I care? Let her cut her bangs up to her hairline and suffer the humiliation of looking five. Maybe I wasn’t completely innocent here, but I was no murderer. It was a fucking accident.
"You listen to me, Susie, I didn't murder anyone," I snapped.
"Sassy."
"Whatever." She was giving me a migraine. Swoozie's selective memory was messing with my need to protect her ass. "Oh my Goddess," I yelled. "I didn't sleep with Baba Yaga's boyfriend—you did."
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