It was his turn to inhale against tears. “Thanks, Dad.”
His aunt and uncle and dad followed him out of the judge’s private chambers. The courthouse was old and held the scent of musty papers, their footsteps echoing down a brick hallway and off a recently polished floor. They were having an adoption party this weekend, one to celebrate Olivia’s “arrival” into the family. Olivia Gillian. It might already have been on her birth certificate, but it was true in every sense of the word now. He glanced back at Charlotte, wondering if she was thinking the same thing. She wouldn’t look at him.
“Here, I’ll get the door,” his aunt said, racing forward and pulling open one of two massive doors.
“Thanks, Aunt—”
He drew up short when he stepped onto the courthouse landing. His whole family stood outside. Shane and his wife, Kait, their twins in a baby stroller at their feet. Jayden and her new husband, Colby, with Paisley dressed in her Sunday best. Carson and Ava, their daughter, Bella, and their new son. His three cousins Tyler, Terrence and Dylan. They all yelled, “Surprise,” and Olivia jumped a little at their yells. Maverick reassured her with a hug.
“Look who’s here,” he whispered into her ear. “All your aunts and uncles and cousins.”
And he wanted to cry. More than that, he wished Charlotte was there by his side.
“Happy birthday to you,” someone started to sing. Pretty soon they’d all picked up the chorus. Olivia wiggled in his arms. When he glanced down at her he realized she wanted to get down, to go see her new family.
“Hi,” she said to them, waving.
They kept on singing, but they all smiled and someone said, “Aw.”
It wasn’t her birthday. Not really. But he supposed this was a rebirth of sorts.
“Congratulations,” said a soft female voice, one that sent a spasm of...something through his whole body.
“Thanks,” he said, not looking at her and walking down the six or so cement steps. He took them two at a time and was quickly engulfed by his family. When he glanced back at her, she still stood at the top of the courthouse steps, a manila folder clasped to her belly and a look on her face he couldn’t quite understand, not at first.
She looked...sad, and it broke his heart in a way he hadn’t known it could be broken, especially when he was the one who’d been wrong. Didn’t matter. It felt like his heart literally ached for her. Worse, he didn’t know how he could fix it for her. He wanted to, wanted to help her understand that they could work it out. She didn’t have to leave.
“Here,” his aunt said. “I’ll take her.”
“Congratulations,” said his sister, smacking him on the arm once he handed Olivia off. “I always knew you’d have kids, although, I’ll be honest, not like this.”
“I know, right?” said Carson, holding out his hand. “Congrats, bro. You’re doing the right thing.”
He glanced back up the steps. She was gone. He turned slightly and spotted her crossing the green lawn in front of the brick building, all alone, shoulders back, head down.
Someone pulled him into a hug—his sister-in-law Ava. More people shook his hand, clapped him on the back, but Maverick just sort of stood there, numb.
He’d fallen in love with her.
Everyone had turned their attention to Olivia, kissing her, stroking her head, welcoming her into their family. Olivia became more of a wiggle worm, and his aunt finally relented and let her down. She wanted to see his brother’s twins, he realized, as she toddled over to them, leaning forward, eyes wide.
“Go talk to her,” his aunt whispered in his ear. “I’ll keep an eye on Olivia.”
He didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to do. His eyes must have conveyed his uncertainty.
“Say whatever’s in your heart,” his aunt said.
It wasn’t that simple. None of it was simple. His aunt had no idea what he was up against.
“Go.”
He went.
Chapter 21
It was all for the best.
She’d done her part. She’d found Olivia a home. Now she’d move on and find other kids homes. In a bigger city. Start a new life. Do what she’d always known she was meant to do.
“Charlotte, wait.”
She didn’t want to turn around, but he must know she’d heard him.
“Charlotte,” he said again, more loudly.
She would bet his whole family had heard him. Sure enough, when she finally turned to face him, more than one curious face turned in their direction.
“Congratulations.” It was all she could think of to say, even though it sounded so trite. Then she realized belatedly she’d already said it.
“Were you running away from me?”
Yes. She flicked her chin up. “No. Of course not. Just in a hurry to get back to the office. I have so much to do before...”
I leave.
She didn’t say the words, but she saw by his eyes that she didn’t need to.
“You should join our family out on the lawn.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to intrude.”
“You wouldn’t have intruded. I think my aunt looks upon you as a member of the family.”
Yeah, right. She didn’t have a family. Earlier, she’d been wondering when the last time was someone had sung her happy birthday.
And look who’s feeling sorry for herself.
“Your aunt is one of the kindest ladies I’ve ever met,” she said.
“It runs in the family,” he said with a smile.
Why was he always so nice to her? Even when she’d said goodbye. Even when she’d known she’d hurt him, he was still smiling gently down at her.
She took a deep breath. “So, I guess this is it. After today I don’t expect our paths will ever cross again.”
Salt in the wound. Why had she said the words? They’d caused him pain and she didn’t want to do that.
He took a step closer. It was just a tiny step, but the pulse at the base of her neck throbbed in response. There was a look in his eyes, a softness that seemed unique to Maverick, and it always had the same effect on her. It both alarmed her and made her want to melt at his feet.
“Why are you trying so hard to push me away?”
His words robbed her of speech. It robbed her of thought for a second, too.
“This whole job thing. It’s ridiculous. We can still see each other. I’m not going anywhere, you know.” His hand lifted to her cheek. His touch had the ability to freeze and then send her pulse into a rapid beat. “I realize you don’t believe that, not deep down inside where it counts, but it’s true. I love you.”
She thought she might have misheard him. “What?”
“I love you,” he said with a tender smile. “But even if you never believe in that love, even if you want to throw that love away, it won’t matter. I’ll still love you. You’ll still be my friend. My family will always be there for you, too. You don’t have to do all this alone.”
Her vision blurred. She had to look away, so she took a step back and his hand fell back against his side. She stared at the ground. He didn’t know her well enough to love her. When would he understand that? She wasn’t lovable.
She straightened.
Where had that thought come from?
“You can push me away if you want,” he added. “But don’t push my family away. They love you, too.”
He tipped back his cowboy hat, took a step away, and she wanted—oh, how she wanted—to call him back to her when he turned around and walked away. But she couldn’t. She just couldn’t seem to do it, no matter how much it broke her heart to let him go. She had a new future to face, one without him. And that was for the best.
Wasn’t it?
Chapter 22
It was not, Maverick thought, a good week. He’d hoped.
.. Oh, how he’d hoped that Charlotte would change her mind. But as the day of her departure came and went, he admitted to himself the truth. She really was gone.
He threw himself into his work. They’d been moving cattle all week, some going off to auction, some to other ranches, trying to make room for the spring calves that’d been born. But one thing after another had gone wrong. A tire had blown. He’d gotten lost on the way to one ranch. Then he’d nearly been killed while unloading a feisty heifer.
Distracted.
She hadn’t even called to say goodbye. He tried to tell himself to be patient. That maybe once she was gone she’d realize what it was she’d walked away from. He didn’t hold out much hope, though.
“Look out!”
Flynn’s words had him jumping backward, just in time to catch the back of the trailer door that swung right toward his face thanks to a blast of coastal wind. He jumped out of the way just in time, the door stopped by the side of the trailer, a huge boom startling the cattle they’d just unloaded into a corral.
“Damn, Maverick, what’s gotten into you?” Flynn asked.
“Nothin’,” Maverick grumbled.
His brother knew what was wrong. His whole darn family had seen Charlotte walk away from him. He wouldn’t be surprised if his aunt had shared that Charlotte was leaving town. So far, everyone had held their tongues. Everyone but Jayden and Aunt Crystal, who’d encouraged him to go talk to her before she’d left town. He’d stubbornly refused.
“If you keep this up you’re going to get yourself killed.”
Maybe that’d be a blessing. But, no, Olivia needed him. She was the most important thing in his life right now.
“It’s that woman, isn’t it?”
“Don’t want to talk about it.”
“Why you even interested in her?” Flynn asked. “She’s not even your type.”
Maverick grabbed the trailer door, then swung it around to close it, but Flynn had the same idea—to close the door—which was why he nearly clocked his brother upside the head.
“Hey.”
“Sorry.” Maverick latched the thing closed.
“Man, you really are messed up in the head.” Flynn placed his hands on his hips. “And she’s not even good-looking. Crazy.”
He spun on his brother. “Watch it.”
Flynn threw his hands in the air in a gesture of defense. “Just making an observation.”
“If you knew her like I do you wouldn’t say that.”
“You mean something like beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” One of Flynn’s thick brows lifted, his blue eyes teasing.
He echoed Flynn’s stance. “One day, Flynn, you’re going to fall in love, and when you do, I’m going to laugh my ass off.”
“Yeah, well, don’t hold your breath. I’ve got too many things to do before I settle down.”
“Until you meet the right woman, and then it’s a game changer.”
“Which is why she left you, huh? Too much of a change?”
“Something like that.”
They headed back to the truck. Flynn seemed to know when to shut up. They both waved to the rancher who’d just bought ten replacement heifers from Gillian Ranch. But the whole way back, Maverick wondered if he should just give up. The thought made his stomach feel like that time Flynn had sucker punched him.
By the time they arrived at Gillian Ranch, he’d come to a decision. He would call her. He didn’t care that she was probably busy in a new town, or that she probably wouldn’t even answer and he’d be forced to leave some god-awful voice mail. He would call her, and if she ignored him he’d call her again, and if she ignored those calls he’d go see her. He wasn’t sure how he’d find her, but he would.
As it turned out, he didn’t need to do any of that. When he drove up to his aunt’s house to pick up Olivia later that night, his heart just about came out of his chest when he saw whose car was parked out front. She must have seen his truck drive up the long road because his aunt’s front door opened before he’d gotten out, and when he all but stumbled out of his seat he heard his brother say, “I’ll see you inside.”
Charlotte shot Flynn a half-hearted smile as he passed.
“So, you didn’t flee the country yet,” Flynn teased. “Interesting.”
But his brother didn’t give her time to answer. He kept on walking, leaving the two of them alone. And Maverick didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to do. It was like confronting a spooky horse. Did he go up to her and touch her? Did she want him to stand there?
Has she moved to the Bay Area already?
“You want to go for a walk?” she asked, pointing with her chin toward the path they’d walked weeks and weeks ago.
“Sure.”
His heart beat up his rib cage. He ended up not touching her even though he wanted to with every fiber of his being.
They walked in silence, and when they made it to the giant oak tree and the picnic bench beneath, they both took a seat on the tabletop. Maverick tried to reassure himself by looking out over the valley.
“I don’t think I could ever tire of this view,” she commented softly.
He looked right at her, leaning toward her a bit. “Me, either.”
She swiped a lock of hair behind her ear and he saw that her hands shook. A breeze caught the scent of her, bringing it to his nose. Lemon cookies. She always smelled so sweet. It drove him nuts.
“Well,” she said on a huff of laughter that really wasn’t amusement. More like self-deprecation. “As you can see, I’m still in town.”
His heart leaped. He hadn’t known for sure. Thought maybe she was just back for a visit.
“Packed up my whole apartment, loaded it into a moving pod, turned in my keys to my landlord and just...” She shook her head. “Couldn’t do it.”
He released a breath he hadn’t even known he’d been holding.
She turned her body, facing him more fully. “It took a lot of courage on my part to be intimate with you. Afterward, I congratulated myself on being so brave, but I realized out in front of that courthouse I wasn’t brave at all.” She shook her head. “I turned into a lily-livered coward when I realized my feelings for you had changed.”
“You’re not a coward.”
Her lips pressed together, tighter and tighter. “Yes, Maverick, I am. What you said to me out on those courthouse steps, when you talked about your family always loving me, when you told me you loved me, I realized I didn’t want to believe it. So I went to see a therapist, something I haven’t done in years. But I knew I had to do it if I wanted a chance at making this work.”
Making this work? Did that mean...?
“I love you, Maverick.”
To hell with it. He pulled her into his arms, holding her tight.
She loved him.
It was impossible to describe the way the words made him feel. Like it was Christmas and his birthday combined and he’d gotten all the presents in the world wrapped up in one package... Charlotte. He bent to kiss her.
“No, wait,” she said, drawing back a bit, tears in her eyes. “I have to finish saying this.”
He froze for a moment, wondering if he’d gotten it all wrong. If this was really a breakup.
“I love you,” she said. “But, according to a therapist, I don’t believe I’m worthy of that love. I’m messed up. Of course, you probably knew that, but I do feel I should give you fair warning in the event I freak out and try and leave you again.”
He closed his eyes, his eyes growing warm, tears held back by his lids. He leaned his head down until they were forehead to forehead. Then he opened his eyes and stared as deeply as he could into her own gaze.
“You won’t leave me, Charlotte, just as I won’t ever leave you.”
“And I don’t know if I want kids.”
He could tel
l that the words had been hard for her to say. “That’s also part of what my therapist helped me to see. Part of why I held back was because I knew what a game changer this might be for you, and that scared me even more. I don’t know if I want kids. I want to adopt. I want to give kids the kind of home you grew up in. I want them to know love and compassion and the security of two parents who will always be there for them.”
“They’ll have that and more.”
“I know. I’m just afraid.”
“I know.”
Her face crumpled. He pulled her into his arms again. She started bawling and it was okay, Maverick thought, patting and rubbing her back. It was all okay. They would get through her hang-ups and relationship worries and marital spats because that was what he wanted to do, marry her.
“I love you,” she murmured once her tears had slowed. Maverick realized he hadn’t even kissed her, but that was okay because their relationship wasn’t about the physical—it was about giving her courage, and his arms holding her tight on those days when she feared he’d leave her, and teaching her that love was something you could trust.
Her hands lifted to his face, slowly pulling his head down. Her lips brushed his own, and just like the first time he’d kissed her, what started out slow turned into fast and hard, Maverick trying to show her without words that he loved her, too. He would always love her.
A long while later they drew apart. Maverick clasped her face in his hands again.
“Just promise me one thing,” he said.
“What’s that?” she asked, a tear falling down her cheek.
“We draw the line at ten kids.”
“Ten?” She shook her head and laughed. “I want to adopt, not start an orphanage.”
He laughed, too. “I’m thinking maybe four kids.”
“Five,” she said.
“Including Olivia.”
“Not including Olivia,” she countered.
“Deal.”
Her laughter faded as she looked him in the eyes. “It won’t be easy, Maverick. I’m not quitting my job. I love it too much.”
“I know, and I’d be disappointed if you did.”
Home on the Ranch: Unexpected Daddy Page 17