MEETING KIDS WITH DIFFERENCES EVERYWHERE
Beyond camps, I have traveled a lot as a kid. My parents take Cameron and me to Maine every year. Sometimes we stop off along our drive up and hang out with other Born Just Right families in the Northeast. These are families we’ve met through my mom’s writing online. It’s always nice to know that there is a friendly face who can totally understand the experiences you are going through. Like at the camps, we don’t have to take on the added responsibility of having to explain everything—we just know and can compare any challenges we might be having, or just enjoy hanging out.
When we drive home from Maine, we always stay with a limb-difference family that we’ve known for what feels like forever. Driving between Missouri and Maine is a two-day trip, so when we get to our friends’ place, we’re usually tired. They always give us great food, and it’s nice to hang out with friends. We don’t sleep a lot because we play games and laugh. We rarely miss our chance to see one another, and it’s a really great way to end a vacation.
We also have met with kids and families through organizations like Helping Hands Foundation and Sammy’s Friends. Helping Hands is an organization in Massachusetts that has a family event in the summer and in the winter. We’ve had a chance to attend those events a few times through the years. Sammy’s Friends is the first online group my mom found when I was born. It’s still a small group of families, and we try to see them whenever we can. Each and every time I get to meet more kids like me, the less I feel alone. The older I get, the more I realize my experiences really can help a lot of younger kids as they grow up. If my mom hadn’t written so much about me, I don’t know if we’d know so many people. I am also happy I can meet with kids everywhere I go to share my tips and advice while learning from other limb-different kids at the same time.
Besides my amazing counselor Josh, another limb-different adult and mentor who has really given me support is a guy named Ryan Haack. He has a website called Living One-Handed, and he even wrote a super-sweet book called Different Is Awesome. Ryan is a great friend to my whole family, and he’s always had such a positive attitude about his one-handed life. We met him through the Sammy’s Friends group. My mom connected with him, and we’ve tried to see each other at events like Helping Hands and Born Just Right meetups.
Meeting other people who have physical differences has helped me realize that what you and I think is “normal” can be totally different! To you, a one-handed person may sound strange. But to me, having two hands seems totally unusual! Maybe using a wheelchair is different to you. To a kid using a wheelchair, it’s a super-helpful tool that helps him or her have the freedom to move! It’s just how we think about it.
Summer camps with limb-different kids inspire me to be okay with the way I see things. They motivate me to raise money so other families can have the kind of experiences I’ve had throughout most of my life. When it comes to Camp No Limits, I am able to attend every year because of a local fund that pays for my fees. Since my camp is paid for, each year I ask friends and family to donate to camp instead of giving me gifts. We’ve sent dozens of kids to Camp No Limits! It feels really good knowing I can bring happy experiences to others.
6
LIMITLESS
My time at Camp No Limits taught me a really important thing about fitness, and it’s stuck with me as I’ve grown up. As I mentioned earlier, it’s very important for me to have strong core muscles. If my neck and torso are super strong, I’m less likely to have problems with my shoulders, arms, and legs. That’s why I look at sports and being as active as possible as a way to stay strong. My mom started focusing on those lessons pretty early on.
DANCE CLASS BALANCE
My mom got me started with dance class when I was a toddler. I didn’t start walking until I was eighteen months old, so dancing was a chance to help me improve my balance and learn to do things like skip! I thought it was fun to put on the costumes and dance around with my friends. I didn’t know it was helping me get strong back then.
Dance classes start with the basics, and my studio required tap and ballet before I could take anything advanced. I took classes every year until I got good enough to take hip-hop and musical theater classes. I loved all of it. I practiced once or twice a week, and then there was a big performance—a recital or showcase—at the end of the year. It was awesome to show all my friends and family what I’d been doing! Plus, the hair, the makeup, the fancy costumes—it was all so fun. It was an extra bonus to working so hard all year.
Most of my dance teachers were really good about making sure other kids and parents knew my limb difference wasn’t going to prevent me from doing anything in class. I sometimes tried dances with my helper arms, but they always seemed to be more awkward than helpful. My helper arms feel too big and bulky to help with dancing. One year, we had a costume that included gloves. My mom just turned the left glove into an arm sleeve so I matched everyone else.
I stopped dance when I started adding on a lot of sports and Girl Scout activities. My parents said they couldn’t drive me to any more activities, so I had to pick at least one to end. I am kind of sad I stopped the dance classes, but I still take what I’ve learned from them and apply it to my other activities—and it gave me a lot of confidence! I still like to dance a lot, just not in formal classes anymore.
SPORTS
I really love all my different sports teams. I’m very competitive. I often feel like I’m competing to prove I can be an athlete to others, and then there are times when I compete with myself to see how far I can push my limits. I’ve leaned on sports as a way to help me feel strong and to show how I am able to do anything.
When I started out in dance, my parents also put me on a soccer team. While I clearly loved dance, I actually hated soccer when I first started. (For some reason, the one sport that doesn’t need hands is the one sport I’m least interested in playing!) Once they realized how much I disliked it, they had me try others to see what might stick. Since then, I’ve tried so many different sports. I enjoy ones that involve hands, like basketball and softball. Maybe it’s because I like the challenge. Maybe it’s just because these sports don’t bore me. Whatever it is, I’ve figured out all kinds of different ways to play!
My favorite sport to play these days is basketball. I started playing through a club in our town when I was in third grade. I like running and shooting the ball, but my favorite part is playing defense. My little arm is an awesome jabbing weapon to steal the ball from the other team. Most of the time I don’t get called for a foul when I jab a little here and there. Basketball is a fast game, and it never gets boring . . . unless I’m on the bench waiting to get back on the floor. I can’t stand sitting on the bench.
Being part of a team is a lot of fun. Since I wanted to get better at basketball, I started going to a sports camp that focuses on helping kids with limb differences play really well. It’s called NubAbility Athletics. This is a camp that is totally different from Camp No Limits. It’s a huge camp that focuses on teaching kids how to play elite-level sports, even if they have different limbs. I have gotten tips on basketball, softball, track and field, and all kinds of other sports from some amazing athletes. Many of them have played sports at the college level or even in the Paralympics. While I had a chance to get better at my basketball and softball skills at NubAbility, I also discovered another way to exercise: CrossFit.
CrossFit is a fitness program that really challenges your body. It uses a variety of high-intensity moves and weight-bearing exercises that you do in different combinations. I have become really strong after doing this for three years. I can jump up on boxes, lift weights, and do all kinds of other exercises. I work out with some older girls who make me want to get better. My coaches have found ways to change some of the exercise challenges so I can do similar workouts, even if they usually need two hands. Changing the workout to fit my body is called Adaptive CrossFit. It’s a lot of fun, and I’m usually really sore afterward.
One of my favor
ite workouts is possible because of a one-handed adaptive jump rope. It’s a stick with a rope attached on each side. I rotate it with one hand while I jump. It took me a while to figure out how to make it work, but I can do it! I also figured out a really fun way to do push-ups by rolling my little arm on a medicine ball while I push up with my full arm. I also know how to do push-ups with one arm. My parents aren’t big fans of any exercise that has me using only one side of my body. That’s why I’m always looking for new ways to adapt a workout. There are a ton of adaptive athletes on Instagram. We often look there to get fresh ideas and talk to the athletes for tips.
People are always asking me how I do what I do in sports. I did not grow up thinking sports were impossible. Thanks to my family, and the combination of Camp No Limits, Amp Camp, and NubAbility, I have been taught that everything is possible; I just might have to do it differently. When people look at me, they might think of a lot of can’ts, but I honestly don’t instantly think I can’t when I have a challenge. I want to try it all, and so far, I’ve had a chance to do a lot.
OTHER ACTIVITIES
I don’t just participate in sports; I’ve also taken piano lessons since I was in second grade. My family loves live music, so taking lessons and learning to enjoy it is a natural part of our lives. My brother started playing piano in second grade, so my mom had me start at the same age. The very first day I started, my piano teacher expected to teach me one-handed music. But that was never something I considered. I told her I wanted to play with my hand and my little arm. Since then, she’s found music that fits my abilities. Sometimes she even rewrites the songs for me.
In the last couple of years, my piano teacher has also started giving me voice lessons. I love to sing, and I hope working with her will help me get even better. To be honest, I think I like singing more than playing piano. But my piano teacher says I should keep playing piano until my voice matures so I really understand music theory before I focus on singing.
I was lucky to sing in my school choir, and I was even invited to my school district honors choir. The biggest opportunity I’ve had in choir was getting the chance to sing a solo in my final elementary school choir concert. I had a plan the moment my choir director presented the song to us—I would practice and practice and do the best possible audition. I don’t know how many times I rehearsed before that day, but I gave it my all. During my singing audition, my choir director was impressed I had already memorized the song. Even better, she gave me the solo!
I got to perform the solo in front of the school, and a couple of times in front of a large audience. It was so cool to watch people react to my singing. I’m not bad, and because I practiced so much, I know I gave my best performances.
Music is an outlet to just let things go. I love singing in choirs because it’s a totally different kind of team. Voices together make such an amazing sound. When I perform with a group, I don’t really notice the audience . . . even if I get a little nervous before a show. I hope I can use the work I’ve done so far to help me get involved in middle school shows! I have plans to try out for all the dramas and musicals I can.
PERSPECTIVE-CHANGING TRAVEL
I think travel is another reason I sometimes feel limitless. Because I live in Missouri, I know some people who have never seen the ocean. I’m very lucky to have never had that problem. My family drives to Maine every year, and my parents have made that trip since even before Cameron and I were born! It’s a chance to spend time with my grandparents who have a house on the ocean. The Maine house is perfect. We get to stare at the ocean from the porch, eat yummy food, and play in the water every day. I learned to kayak there, and it’s the first place I learned to ride a bike without training wheels.
The car rides to Maine are long. Really long. But Cameron and I sit in the back seat reading books, watching every single movie we can, and eventually finding reasons to fight. My mom supplies the snacks and usually tries to stop the battles. My dad does a lot of the driving, with my mom as a backup. He often says how he’d rather drive than try to stop Cameron and me from fighting. We bring our dogs along for the ride, which makes me really happy. Our dog Bailey thinks motorcycles are dangerous and barks at them. That makes me laugh every time! We spend almost twenty-four hours in the car, but the drive is worth it.
The Maine house sits on the edge of a hill that looks out at an ocean cove. There’s a wraparound porch, where you can sit on rocking chairs and just stare at everything beautiful. You can hear the waves crashing into rocks and watch seagulls fly around. Sometimes there are sailboats that float by. And there are always lobster boats out with lobstermen and lobsterwomen working to catch someone’s dinner! If you think it’s peaceful to sit near the lake by my house, try sitting by the rocky ocean in Maine. Listening to the tide move up and down our cove can put me into a trance. I love having the chance to soak in nature!
My parents got us an ocean kayak that lets us paddle out into our cove and out into the rolling waves of the ocean. It’s amazing to float in the water and feel so tiny, with water and rocks and the huge blue sky. The ocean is so quiet when I’m floating out there. All my problems in the world disappear . . . at least until my brother splashes me with his paddle! And yes, if you’re wondering, I can paddle a kayak. I have a helper arm that I can paddle with. But I can also paddle without a helper arm!
Every year, my mom makes sure she gets a picture of Cameron and me on the same spot on the rocks near the Maine house. There’s a picture of me on that spot from every year we’ve visited since I was six months old. It’s a little piece of tradition that makes me roll my eyes, but it is really cool when you can see all the years of photos. My brother and I were SO TINY! It also gives me a chance to look back and realize how lucky we are to escape and relax each year.
Our Maine trip is full of traditions. We always have rock-skipping contests and ice-cream-eating contests. My grandpa and I even have a scrambled-egg-cooking contest. We have lobster races and go on hikes and play at nearby beaches. We eat at some of the same restaurants every year because they’re so yummy. Maine is kind of a home away from home. I sometimes forget that not everyone gets to go to a special spot like ours.
We also drive down to South Florida to visit my grandparents’ house every other year. We celebrate Christmas, and because we have to drive home, we stop in Orlando to visit Walt Disney World. I’m a December baby, so I get to celebrate my birthday at Walt Disney World! I am SO lucky. I have celebrated half of my birthdays at my happy place. My parents, Cameron, and I are really good at having fun in the parks. I always feel free to be me even though there are so many people at Disney World. Yes, some people stare at me, but I’m too busy having fun to really worry about it.
When I was three, during a birthday trip, my mom surprised me with a really puffy dress and a chance to get my hair done at a fancy Disney boutique called Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique. I was turned into a princess, and I got to walk around the Magic Kingdom looking beautiful. I loved it so much, I have dressed up for a lot of my Disney birthdays. I love to dress up. My dad says I was so dressed up, people were staring and pointing at me, not because of my little arm but because I was so fancy! I kind of think I’m getting too old for that kind of fun . . . but I don’t think I’m ready to put away all the fancy outfits. I don’t usually dress up like that anywhere else other than Disney World. I’m both a tomboy and a dressy person. Most of the time, you’ll catch me wearing a shirt and leggings or a T-shirt and shorts. But I think my Disney World trips helped grow my love of sparkles. At Disney World, glitter is called pixie dust! I know those trips added to my love of shiny things.
One really amazing visit to Disney World happened after my mom and I attended an Amputee Coalition national conference. I had never attended a conference before, but I loved hearing experts talk about the new ways they’re building helper arms for adults. (There isn’t a lot of research done about kids and prosthetics yet.) My mom introduced me to one of the men who helped invent a prosthetic tail
for a dolphin that lives in Florida. The dolphin’s name is Winter, and she’s alive thanks to the invention of that helper tail. The man invited my family and me to meet Winter the dolphin in person and sent us to Walt Disney World! Can you believe that?
The trip to Disney was awesome, but the time I spent with Winter changed my view on prosthetics. I learned that Winter doesn’t wear her helper tail all the time, which made me feel better. Imagine connecting a hunk of plastic onto your body all the time. I know exactly what that is like, and it feels like a burden sometimes.
I know Winter the dolphin feels the same way about prosthetics. When I had the chance to meet her, I learned she wears her helper tail for about an hour a day while she works with a therapist. I’m not the only one who has to work with therapists! That one-hour therapy session is long enough to keep her body from breaking. When she doesn’t wear a tail, she swims side to side like a fish. With her helper tail, she swims up and down. That fish-swimming style is really bad on her spine, so her helper tail keeps her from getting really hurt. That’s also why my parents want me to wear my helper arms. I need to wear prosthetics to keep my body from getting hurt when I’m older. When I met Winter, it finally made sense. I stopped fighting it as much. I started seeing why prosthetics can be helpful. Also, I got super wet when Winter splashed my brother and me during our meeting!
Not only have I gotten the chance to meet a limb-different dolphin, but I’ve also had a chance to travel and hang out with a lot of kids with differences thanks to Born Just Right, Camp No Limits, and Amp Camp. Most of the kids I have met have a limb difference from being born that way, having an accident, or getting sick. But getting the chance to attend the Wounded Warrior Amputee Softball Team (WWAST) Kids Camp let me meet members of the military who are amputees. (“Amputee” is another word for someone who lost a leg or an arm.) The members of WWAST lost limbs from bombings or attacks during war or from accidents. Every player has lost at least one limb, but they play softball really well! The team travels across the country playing against fully-limbed softball teams. They show all kinds of communities how a physical difference doesn’t have to hold you back.
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