by M. S. Parker
“Can I help you?”
I recognized the voice before I turned. Dax had called him Georgie, and I'd hoped to avoid seeing him again. I refused to let him chase me away though, so I steeled my nerves and turned back toward the desk.
“Good morning.” I kept my voice as even as possible.
His dark eyes narrowed, then lit up with a recognition I didn't like. “I know you, sweetheart.” He winked at me. “Decided you liked what you saw after all?”
I refused to take the bait. “I'm looking for Dax.”
He grinned, not taking his eyes off me as he called out, “Yo, Dax. Girl here wants you. Guess you're better with your dick than I thought you were.”
My mouth flattened into a tight line. Gavin hadn't been wrong about Dax's friends being assholes.
“What are you yelling...?” Dax stopped talking the moment his eyes met mine.
For a split second, I thought I saw a flash of something – lust or longing, I wasn’t sure – but then it was gone. Dax's gaze hardened, his expression morphing into something I didn't recognize.
“Hey, babe.” The same sort of smarmy grin Georgie was wearing curved Dax's mouth. “You need something?” His eyes took a slow journey down my body.
I should've left. Everything in me was telling me to leave. But I'd never been one to take the easy way out.
“I wanted to talk to you.” I kept my eyes on Dax, waiting for the man who'd stuck up for me the last time I'd been in here.
He shrugged and leaned on the counter. “So talk.”
I hadn't expected an audience, so I blurted out the first thing that popped into my mind. “Did you get your wallet back?”
He laughed, but it wasn't a nice sound. “Yeah, I got it. How'd you manage to get it to the boss?”
“He's my uncle.”
That got a reaction. “No fucking way.” He laughed again. “I guess if I couldn't fuck the boss's daughter, the niece is the next best thing.”
My face burned as Georgie laughed too. I could feel the eyes of the men behind us as their attention shifted toward me.
“So you did get a piece of that ass.” Georgie didn't stop leering at me while he spoke to Dax. “Damn.”
I ignored Georgie and glared at Dax. He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, almost like he was daring me to say something.
“How good was she?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Georgie take a step toward me.
“Maybe I should take her for a spin.”
A muscle in Dax's jaw clenched, another small bit of genuine reaction. “Don't bother.” He looked away from me. “It's not worth the hassle.”
I felt sick to my stomach, but beyond any of the hurt I felt was anger. Anger that burned deeper than anything I'd felt since my mother told me that my father was dead.
“You're a miserable son of a bitch, you know that?” I was proud to hear that my voice didn't waver.
“Hey, I told you that I didn't do relationships.” He shrugged. “Not my fault you came looking for seconds.”
“That's not why I'm here, asshole,” I snapped. “Carrie told me you were a decent guy, and I thought that she might be right. Apparently, she's not as good of a judge of character as she thought. You're a fucking bastard.”
“She talk like that in bed?” Georgie asked. “I don't like them mouthy bitches.”
I finally turned toward him. “I don't give a damn what you like because I'll never touch you.” I looked back at Dax and jabbed a finger at him. “And I'm sorry I ever let you touch me. A mistake I don't intend to ever make again.”
I walked away before I could give in to my urge to punch him in the nose. My hands were still clenched into fists as I walked outside. I was glad I'd driven rather than taking a cab or a town car. I wouldn't have wanted to wait around. At some point, I was sure I'd cry, if only because I was pissed, but I wasn't there yet. No, if I'd had to wait for a ride, I probably would've been tempted to throw something heavy.
Probably at his crotch.
The concentration it took to drive in Manhattan traffic was good for one thing. It forced me to focus on what I was doing, and not on how much I hoped the next woman who slept with Dax gave him syphilis.
By the time I let myself into the loft, however, the anger at Dax was starting to turn into anger at myself. I'd wanted so much to be my own person that I'd rushed into a decision that I should've thought through. If it'd only been Dax leaving right after sex, that would have been one thing, but the way Dax had just behaved...Carrie wasn't the only one who'd misjudged him.
“Bryne?”
Carrie's voice drew me out of my head.
“Are you okay?”
I wanted to smile and say that everything was fine, but the kindness in her voice after how rude Dax had been was too much. I shook my head and felt the first pricking of tears against my eyelids.
“Come here.” She put her arm around my shoulders and led me over to the kitchen table. “Now, you tell me what's wrong and whose ass I have to kick.”
Chapter Eight
After talking to Carrie and taking a hot shower, I felt better. As much as I sometimes complained about her, my mother and I didn't have a bad relationship, but we also didn't have the sort of close mother-daughter bond that allowed us to talk easily about personal things, especially now. Even though I'd only known Carrie for less than a week, I felt much more comfortable talking to her than I would have to my mother. I supposed her having shared about her own sexual preferences made it easier to talk to her about what happened with Dax. That and the fact that she didn't act like I'd done something wrong helped me come to terms with the whole thing.
By the time Carrie left to meet Gavin at the club, I was already moving on to the things that really mattered, the things that I should have been focusing on instead of Dax. I needed to decide whether or not I wanted to buy a new car, and what to do with the old one if I did. I also had to decide if I wanted to find a place of my own before I found a job or after. While I still hoped that I'd get a call tomorrow saying that I was wanted for a callback, I knew I couldn't count on it. The odds were better than if I were trying to get on Broadway, but they were still low.
I knew that, technically, I had enough money to live comfortably without needing to work, even if I continued to pay for my mother to live her life in Washington. I was sure most people in my situation would be happy pursuing their dreams without having to worry about making money, and I didn't necessarily think there was anything wrong with that, but it wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to use as little of my inheritance as possible so that it would be there if I ever really needed it. Like if or when I had a family.
Not that I was thinking about having a family anytime soon. I clearly needed to work on my taste in men quite a bit more before I even considered anything serious. I could only imagine what would've happened if I'd been careless when I slept with Dax. The last thing I wanted was to have a baby with an asshole like that. I planned on being much smarter when it came to sexual partners in the future. No way would I make the same mistake twice.
In fact, I decided, I’d swear off men completely until I had a solid plan and was at least a few weeks into it. I didn't need distractions. With that in mind, I pulled out my favorite notepad and got to work. A bit of spontaneity wasn't bad, but if I was going to succeed, I couldn't just wait for things to fall in my lap.
I was so engrossed in what I was doing that the buzzer rang twice before I realized that the doorman was trying to get my attention. I walked over to the speaker, pulling my robe more tightly around me.
“This is Bryne,” I announced.
“Miss Dawkins, there's a young man down here who says that he needs to speak with you.”
My stomach flipped. I only knew of one young man who might want to talk to me, but I wasn't sure I wanted to talk with him. I knew I should though, if for no other reason than to not be the petty person that a refusal would paint me to be.
“It's okay. Send him up
.”
I considered running to my room and throwing on some clothes, then decided against it. I wasn't sitting around eating ice cream and weeping. I was having a night in while planning for my future, and there was no dress code for that. I wasn't going to let Dax dictate my appearance.
I stayed near the door and refused the urge to try to do something more with my hair than the braid it was currently in. When he knocked, I took a slow breath, counted to ten, and then opened the door.
The expression on Dax's face told me that he wasn't here to apologize. A part of me wanted to take a step backward, but I gripped the doorframe and held my ground.
“It's bad enough you had to be a clingy little bitch but getting me fired is going too far.”
I blinked, unsure of which part of his accusation I wanted to address first. “What are you talking about?”
His eyes were dark, but not the way they had been the night we slept together. No, this was pure fury glaring down at me. “Don't play dumb. I might not have gone to some rich boarding school like you did, but I'm not stupid.”
I straightened and folded my arms, biting back the smart replies I wanted to give. I'd let him say whatever he wanted and then tell him how far off-base he was. If he wanted to make a scene, it would be his reputation that got trashed, not mine.
“I told you I wasn't looking for a relationship. Then, when I don't call you after I go back to your hotel like you begged me to, you come to my work and get all upset when I don't kiss your ass. That's bad enough.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him that he was full of himself, but I didn't.
“Then you had to go crying to your uncle and get me fired.”
Gavin fired him? I hadn't told Gavin anything about what happened between Dax and me. “I didn't–”
“You're a real bitch, you know that?” Dax cut me off. “I'm not like you. I work my ass off at two jobs so I can take care of my mom. Gavin and Carrie helped me with her, but now that you had to open your big mouth and lie about me, all that's changed.”
My self-control reached its limit. “Shut. The fuck. Up.”
Surprise flashed across his face, then disappeared. He opened his mouth, but I wasn't interested in listening anymore.
“You had your turn. It's mine now.” I glared up at him. “First of all, I didn't come to the shop to try to get you in bed again or because I wanted to be your girlfriend, you’re dead wrong about that. Since I was new here, I thought I'd take a chance that you were actually a decent guy I could be friends with. I never would've had sex with you if I'd known you were a lecherous asshole.”
He stared at me, those eyes blazing into mine before falling to my lips. He shook his head, as if trying to clear it, and ran a hand through his hair before scrubbing both hands over his face. “Whatever the reason, it still doesn't give you the right to get your uncle to fire me.”
I held up my hand. “I'm not done.” I poked him in the chest, and his hand shot up, capturing my fingers in his grasp. “You don't know me or much of anything about me, so let me make this perfectly clear. I didn't tell my uncle anything. He knows we slept together because I had your wallet, but that was just him figuring it out. I didn't tell him I went to talk to you, or that you were an utter bastard. I don't know why he fired you, and I really don't care. If you want to know so badly, grow a pair and talk to Gavin yourself.”
I tried to yank my hand away, but his vice like grip only tightened. His face twisted with an emotion that resembled pain, but was gone so quickly I could have imagined it.
He finally let go of my hand and I slammed the door shut.
“Bryne!”
“Go away, Dax!” I shouted through the door. “Don't make me call security!”
When I didn't hear anything else, I walked over to the couch, my legs feeling like lead. I sat down and put my head in my hands. If Dax had come in to apologize for his behavior, explaining it as him being an ass because of his friends, I might've forgiven him, maybe even still wanted to be friends with him. If he'd told me before about working two jobs so he could take care of his mother, I would've been impressed.
None of that matter now though. He'd shown himself for who he truly was. A temperamental child who cared only about what people could do for him. It was funny how people usually thought of spoiled brats as coming from rich, indulgent families, and I'd known enough of those to know there was a grain of truth in that stereotype. The thing most people didn't know or didn't want to admit was that it was less about money and more about entitlement. Clearly, the chip on Dax's shoulder told him that the world owed him something, and he didn't like it when things didn't go his way.
Fuck him.
I'd had enough. If I thought I'd waver on my no men resolution, Dax had reinforced just how important that was. From here on out, I would focus on work and the new members of my family. I'd chalk Dax up as a mistake to learn from, and move on.
Chapter Nine
Going off on Dax made me feel better funny enough. I finished writing out my long-term goals, as well as what steps I needed to take to reach those goals. I'd always been the sort of person who, if I vented about what was bothering me, I could put it to the back of my mind. I didn't stew about things, and I tried not to hold on to them. I much rather preferred to forget about things I couldn't fix, problems I couldn't solve. Life was too short to spend worrying about what I couldn't control.
I slept better than I had since I moved, and when I woke up, I was ready to start on my list. My stomach growled. After I had some breakfast. It smelled like someone was making bacon.
“Hey, Bryne,” Carrie said as I entered the kitchen. “How'd you sleep?”
“Good,” I said as I retrieved a plate from the cabinet beside the stove. I leaned against the counter. “Did you say anything to Gavin about me being upset with Dax?”
Okay, so maybe I hadn't completely forgotten about it, but I told myself that it was natural to be curious about what happened with Dax's job. He may have been a jerk to me, but I didn't like the idea of him losing his job because my uncle was being overprotective.
Carrie's cheeks went pink. “Um, no.”
My eyes narrowed as a thought occurred to me. Dax hadn't actually said that Gavin had personally fired him. Gavin was the boss, so it was natural to assume that he'd been the one calling the shots.
“Did you fire Dax because of what I told you?”
When she finally looked at me, there was a stubborn set to her jaw. “Yes.”
I sighed. “Really? Gavin doing it, I guess I could see, but you, Carrie? I didn't think you were that overprotective.”
“I'm not.” She went back to pushing bacon around with her spatula. “Don't get me wrong, I wanted to cut off his balls for the way he talked to you, but I'd never make a business decision based on personal feelings.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Then why'd you fire him?”
“I never told you how Dax got hired, did I?” She glanced at me, and I shook my head. “I mostly work on human trafficking cases, but sometimes I take on other cases that spark my interest. A year ago, a former client referred a case to me where a woman was injured at work, and her company fired her.”
I recalled a comment Dax had made last night. “Dax's mom.”
Carrie nodded. “Annabeth didn't deserve what happened to her. I've been working on her case, but the company was trying to drag things out rather than settle. Gavin and I offered Dax a job so he could help his mother.”
“But you fired him.” I was completely confused now.
“I did,” Carrie said. “And it was because of what he said to you, though not for the reason you think.”
I snatched a piece of bacon and ate it while she continued.
“Most people look at Club Privé as a sordid place where people go to have kinky sex.” She gave me a partial grin. “While I suppose that's technically true, the club is more than that. It's a place where people with common interests can come and not worry about what other p
eople think about them. We rely on trust and respect.” Her expression grew serious. “Someone who would behave so disrespectfully to a woman he'd had sex with can't be trusted to maintain the sort of discretion and respect needed to work in that sort of setting. That is why I fired him.”
My respect for Carrie went up even more. Before I could say anything though, my phone rang.
“Hello?”
“May I speak with Bryne Dawkins?” The woman's voice was pleasant, but she pronounced my name wrong, making the y sound like a long i rather than a short one.
I didn't bother to correct her. “Speaking.”
“This is Jacqueline Jamison, the casting director for Collide.”
My heart felt like it lodged in my throat.
“We'd like you to come in for a second reading for the part of Gretchen.”
Gretchen. The romantic lead.
“Th-that would be great.” I found the closest chair and sat down. “When do you want me to come in?”
“Would it be possible for you to come in this afternoon? Four o'clock?”
“Yes, I can be there.”
“Great. We'll see you then.”
I stared at my phone for a solid minute, unable to believe what just happened.
“Bryne?” Carrie touched my hand.
“I have a callback.” Hearing it still didn't make it feel any more real.
Carrie threw her arms around me. “That's wonderful! Tell me all about it!”
The fact that I'd gotten a callback on my first New York audition should have meant I'd be more relaxed going in for a second audition but, if anything, I was even more anxious. I wasn't expecting to get the part. Rejections were a part of wanting to be an actor. I'd prepared for that. Even if I didn't get the role, I hadn't prepared to get this far so fast.
It was stupid, I knew, to be so thrown by something good, but that didn't do anything to keep my pulse from racing and my mouth from going dry. I took a quick swig from my bottle of water and then told myself that if I wanted to be an actress, this was a good place to start. If I couldn't convince them that I wasn't nervous, then I didn't deserve the job.