by Goode, Ella
“No. I don’t have a refrigerator.” Her hand is on the door.
I abandon the pie and jump toward the entryway. “Okay. Let me get my shoes on and I’ll walk you back to your dorm.”
“You don’t have to. It’s only across the street.”
Shoes? Who needs them? I let her open the door and follow her out. “A lot can happen on streets. Accidents, for instance. They happen on streets. A good 90 percent of all accidents happen on streets.”
She stops in the hallway. “Only 90 percent? Where do the other 10 percent occur?”
I cast around wildly for an answer to my made-up statistic. “Bathrooms,” I blurt out. “Ten percent of accidents happen in bathrooms and the other accidents all happen on the street.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “I feel like you’re making this up.”
I shake my head vigorously. “Nope. I learned it in health in high school.” I don’t even remember if I took health in high school.
“I see that there’s little I can do to convince you to stay home. You made that favor and you’re going to follow through, aren’t you?”
There’s something about the tone of her voice that makes me think I’m in dangerous territory. Ninety percent accident territory, but I don’t know why. Keeping promises is a good thing in my book. If you say you’re going to do something and you don’t follow through, you deserve to step on Legos. But I feel like if I say that, Erika’s going to be mad. For the hundredth time, I curse my inexperience with women. “I just want to walk you home,” I finally answer.
“Because of the accidents?”
“Yeah.” And because I want to spend more time with you and even if it’s only the space of a few minutes, it’s worth it. I don’t say those words out loud though, because we just met and even a dumbfuck like me knows that saying shit like that to a woman who is half your size and doesn’t know more than your full name will freak her out.
“Fine. It’s not like I can stop you.” She turns on her heel and glides down the hallway. I stare a little because she walks different than anyone I know—graceful, like a butterfly. Her feet barely touch the ground. Her hair hangs long and low, the ends brushing the top of her ass. I gnaw on my inner cheek. I wish I could touch her ass. It’s high and round and perfect for my hands.
I turn hot as the image of me cupping her ass cheeks in my palms while I hold her above me and she rides my face until she creams flashes in front of my eyes. I press a palm to my forehead. Get a grip, man. She doesn’t want you that way.
I don’t think she wants me any way. She stalks forward, without even a glance over her shoulder to see if I’m still behind her. That twists me up inside. What’s worse is that she’s right. Her dorm is just across the street and by the time we’re at the front entrance barely any time has passed.
“Good night, Tank,” she says and slips inside the building.
I watch as she disappears down a hall. My hands fist at my sides and resolve sets in. She might not want me, but I’m still not letting her walk around campus by herself.
6
Erika
Maybe I should have said I could walk myself home. I ponder the error of my ways as my best friend Liv, who kind of shares my dorm room with me, fights with one of her two boyfriends. Saying “boyfriends” has gotten way easier over the last week. It’s pretty much normal now in my head.
Almost as normal as it is for me to not be sure which one she’s fighting with right now. One took off, and if you ask me, it’s impossible to tell them apart. I should have paid better attention to who was wearing what. She never agrees that they look the freaking same, but they do. Identical. I don’t know how she so easily tells them apart. Maybe that’s because she’s been with them since she was fifteen. Going off the conversation, I’m guessing it must be Levi. He’s the one on the football team everyone is always going on and on about.
“Seriously? You think that all the women in the stands are there because they like watching 22 men chase after a leather ball. No! They like seeing the men hit each other wearing their skin-tight leggings. They like seeing those jerseys come off and the tight abs underneath. They think about running onto the field and climbing the players’ sweaty bodies like tree trunks.”
Livvie is all worked up now. I knew she was pissed the moment they said something about the shirts we made. They did show more skin than normal, but we put so much effort into them that I was wearing it either way.
I’ve noticed Livvie only gets worked up when it comes to the twins. Oddly, since I’ve gotten to know her I’ve come more out of my shell, whereas she’s sometimes shyer, especially when it comes to pushing back at someone who isn’t them. It pisses me off when someone tries to give her shit about her relationship. They’re happy. Why can’t people just leave them the hell alone? I’ll never understand why people care so much about what others do. Why can’t they just leave them be and let Liv skip through her field of daisies? Who cares if it’s not normal? Normal is what my parents would be classed as. I’d rather watch five million football games than be stuck in that relationship.
She always goes stock still when she feels like someone is pushing her or being outwardly mean to her. She never reacts in a normal manner to the situation. It shows how much the twins have shielded her from the rest of the world. Levi looks around like he doesn’t know what to do. I step in, trying to save him. I like both of the twins. They make Liv happy beyond belief. Their relationship gives me hope that I can find something like that one day. Tank comes to mind, but I push that thought from my head quickly.
“Um, Liv, that might just be you,” I jump in. I wasn't checking out the guys on the field. At one point I forgot there was a game.
Liv spins to face me. “What do you mean?” She looks completely confused. She doesn’t understand someone not thinking Levi or Zeke is hot. It’s sweet she thinks that and all, but no. They aren’t my type. Again, Tank comes to mind. Damn it. He just keeps creeping in there. Honestly, I haven’t been able to get him off my mind since the night I left his condo. I’m trying my best to forget him, but it isn’t working. Starting now, I’m going to try harder.
“Football players aren’t really my thing.” I shrug. “No offense,” I add, flicking my gaze over to Levi.
“None taken.” He smiles as if he’s won. He hasn’t. I can tell we only tripped another Liv wire. Unsurprisingly, they trip easy. I love her, but she’s always falling over, under or onto something. She’s one of the clumsiest people I’ve ever met. Somehow she makes it adorable. Some girls have all the luck. Even the bad luck.
“I’m offended,” Liv declares. “How can you not like football players? I mean, have you seen Levi’s body? It’s like he’s been chiseled out of marble. Show her, Levi.” She pulls at the bottom of Levi’s T-shirt. He tries to stop her from lifting it, making her laugh.
I stop paying attention to them when I hear a deep growling sound. Is that a bear?
“Did you hear that?” I ask, trying to hear the sound over Liv’s giggling.
Levi pushes Liv behind him at my question. “Hear what?” He’s gone from teasing to serious as quick as a switch.
“I-I thought I heard a-a-a bear. I heard something growl,” I get out. “Over there.” I point to the area the sound came from. There aren’t bears around here. Are there? I try and think. I don’t do the nature thing. I have no idea what kind of animals are roaming around, but surely there are no bears. I think I would have heard about that.
“Erika should come home with us,” Liv announces, as though it’s fact and not a suggestion. I had a feeling she was going to say that. She’s been on high alert since I told her I thought someone was following me. It didn’t help that I’m pretty sure I saw Tank lingering outside where we ate dinner. I pointed him out to Liv to make sure my mind wasn’t dreaming him up. I’m pretty sure I’ve been doing that. At night in bed and when I’m out roaming the campus. I don’t go many places. I’m a creature of habit. You don’t have to stalk me to kn
ow where I’ll be.
“Sounds like a plan,” Levi agrees, not sounding too happy about it. I’m pretty sure I don’t want to stay at their place. Tank lives in their building. I learned that when Liv took me to her boyfriends’ condo on a mission to get her underwear back. Now nothing surprises me when it comes to her. I wasn't shocked either when Tank showed up to once again take me home. God, that was more awkward than the first time. Now that I knew he was doing it because the twins asked him to.
“Let’s stop for ice cream. We can make banana splits.” Livvie wiggles her eyebrows, not caring about any bears. That’s probably because Levi isn’t going to let a bear get to her. Me, I’d be on my own for sure. I always am. Why is that only bothering me lately? Two weeks ago I would have said that with a happy fist pump. If I fist pumped.
I nod. I want the ice cream but don’t want to stay at their place. Maybe I could split after the banana splits. I quirk a smile at my own stupid pun.
“Hey, Audley.” The two words roll through my whole body. I know who it is without having to see him.
“Tank, my brother. What’s up?” Levi asks, sounding more chipper all of a sudden. That’s probably because Tank could take a bear. Easily. He is a bear.
He walks over to Levi, bumping his shoulder, a simple act that would have me flat on the ground if Tank did it to me. Not that he would. He’s always so gentle with me. He always treats me like I’m delicate. He called me his treasure.
“Nothing. Good game, by the way.” His eyes flick over to me. I lick my suddenly dry lips, looking anywhere but at him.
“Thanks,” Levi responds.
God, I don’t want to do this awkward exchange. Is he going to say hi to me? Do I say hi to him?
“I’ll take the little one off your hands. I’m heading to her dorm anyway,” Tank says before I can come up with something to say.
Take me off their hands? Jesus. Did they call him again or something? Maybe I’m not liking the Audley twins so much anymore.
“Oh, she’s not going to her dorm,” Liv pipes up. “We’re taking her home with us.”
My eyes ping pong between Liv and Tank, oddly curious who will win this face off. This could be better than the football game I sat through to get my mind off Tank. It didn’t work. In fact, now he’s materialized and he doesn’t look happy.
“I mean, maybe she wants to go to her dorm.” Levi jumps in now. Well, that settled that. They totally called him again to babysit me.
“She doesn’t.” Liv loops her arm through mine. “She wants to come and have banana split sundaes with us, don’t you, Erika?”
“I mean, well, I guess?” I'm not sure. I always want ice cream, but being around Tank makes my heart ache even if I’m enjoying watching him and Liv spar. I no sooner get the words out of my mouth than I’m over Tank’s shoulder and being carried away.
“Like I said, I’m headed to Erika’s dorm anyways. See you around,” he fires before taking off with me faster than a man his size should be able to move.
“Hey, come back here,” Livvie yells, but Tank isn’t stopping. I should have known brute force would win. It always does.
I spent days avoiding Tank and I’m now draped over his shoulder. His hold is firm yet gentle. I want to be angry with him but I’m enjoying being near him again. His scent has me relaxing into him. He’s got me mind wishing that one day he will hold me for real, not just because he feels a debt to the Audley twins but because he wants to. I shut my brain down from having more of those thoughts. They are dreams and if my parents taught me anything, it’s that my dreams don’t matter. I didn’t see Tank coming but I really should have.
The man is unmissable.
7
Tank
My first thought as I toss her over my shoulder is, I shouldn't be doing this. My next thought is, How long can I keep her in my condo before she calls the police? Neither thought keeps me from moving forward. I don’t even stop when I realize that Erika hasn’t let out a peep of protest. I tap her lightly on the ass. "You okay?"
“This isn’t the most comfortable position I’ve ever been in,” she answers.
That’s not good. I lift her off my shoulder and lower her until she’s cradled in my arms. I haven’t been able to touch her for nearly a week and now that I have my arms around her, I don't really want to let go. Her hair is up in her standard ponytail. The long rope of hair brushes against my arm as we walk.
“This better?”
“I have strong legs from dancing, so I can actually walk.”
Her words only make me clutch her harder.
"There are rocks on the ground," I say, as if that's a perfectly reasonable explanation for carrying her across the street in full daylight when she’s not injured in any way.
"I certainly don't want you to worry about the rocks on the ground.”
Is that sarcasm? I can’t tell, but given that she’s not trying to wriggle out of my grip, I’m carrying her all the way to the condo. If she asks why, I’ll tell her it’s arm day and I gotta work my shoulder muscles.
“Zeke must’ve done you a really big favor,” she says.
“Huh?” That wasn’t the question I was prepared for. I mentally switch gears to the Audley twin.
“I mean, the favor must’ve been an important one because you keep coming over whenever he calls.”
“No. Why? What’s he been saying?” I scowl. Audley’s a decent guy, but if he’s been talking trash to Erika about me, I’m going to make his face look like it’s been through a meat grinder. No one will have a problem telling the twins apart after I’m done with Zeke.
“Nothing. He never talks to me. Neither of the twins really do, not that I mind that because I want to be left alone.”
“And you’re not into football players, right?” I was fucking giddy when I heard that. Not gonna lie. I worried about her being in close quarters with the Audleys. I don’t think those boys are attractive, but I know when they’ve shown up at my boxing match a time or two, panties were always on the floor.
At the door of the condo, I enter my pin code and wait for the lock to release.
“You heard that?”
I heard everything, I think, but know better than to admit it. “Olivia isn’t a quiet girl.”
The buzzer sounds and we walk through. I opt for the stairs instead of the elevator because that way it takes longer. Once we get into the condo, I won’t have much excuse to carry her around anymore.
“No. She isn’t, but I think it's because she's always felt very comfortable in her life. Having those twins always around her probably helps. No one's gonna look at her funny unless they want one of those boys in their business.”
There’s another note of…longing…in Erika’s voice. I glance down to see a small, almost sad smile playing around the corners of her mouth. My girl might not be interested in football players, but there's something about the connection between the Audley twins and Olivia that makes Erika envious.
If she hadn’t admitted that football players do nothing for her, I’d think she had the hots for the twins, but I believe her when she says she’s not interested. So the desire for what Olivia has comes from somewhere else.
Maybe it’s because when a person is secure, they don't have to be looking over their shoulder all the time and therefore, life's a hell of a lot easier. I know that from my own experience. Before I met my foster mom, Patty, and she introduced me to Morry, I tried to keep real quiet. It didn’t do any good to have people notice me—not my deadbeat dad, not my drug-addled mom, not the cops who kept dragging me back home where I’d get beat or have drugs shoved up my nose or worse.
It wasn’t until I learned how to box that I felt comfortable standing up straight, saying stuff that I meant, and generally not giving a shit about what people thought.
So maybe that’s what Erika is feeling jealous about. If that’s the case, if she’s got people in her life making her feel low, then we’ve got more than rocks on the ground to be concerned a
bout. I’ve been following her around for a week, and while I know her class schedule, her workout routine, and ordinary shit like that, I don’t know the important stuff. I don’t know what makes her happy, what makes her sad, what puts that little wistful note in her voice. I want to so I ask.
“What kind of dance do you do?”
“I’m classically trained in ballet, but I broke my leg when I was fifteen and that was the end of that.”
“What do you mean?”
“I healed, but it was never the same. I didn’t have the same strength and couldn’t do the moves as precisely and perfectly as I could before.”
I’ve seen this girl dance through the windows of the campus gym she worked out at and she moves like a dream. If that isn’t perfect and precise, I don’t know what is. I can’t say that, though, because that would be revealing information that I shouldn’t have. Stalking someone’s not a good thing. If Patty or Morry knew I was doing it, they’d slice my balls off. They wouldn’t even listen to my explanation that I was doing it for Erika’s own good before the knife would come out.
I have this feeling that Erika wouldn’t take too kindly to my following her around either. She always gets real irritated when I show up, asking if Audley was behind it.
No. It’s me. It’s always going to be me because I’m a sick fuck that is totally attached to this girl and I can’t stop thinking about her, and when I don’t have her in my sight, I lose it.
“You don't sound super broken up about the fact that you can't do it professionally.”
“It was never my dream. It was my mother’s. She had been a dancer when she was younger, but never quite succeeded at the level she wanted to. I think she had hopes that I would be able to have the success that she didn't.”
Stuff was starting to click into place. I’ve seen those types at the gym. Morry didn’t much like them, but she accepted them anyway because she said that she knew that the parents wouldn’t stop pushing the kids if she said no. The only thing she could do was be a buffer.