by Hawke Oakley
Before he could protest, I pulled him down so that we fell sideways onto the bed. He let out a slight grunt of surprise but didn’t resist. He still clutched the towel with one hand, but the embarrassment had left his expression now.
“Halo,” Kass murmured. “We shouldn’t…”
“Shouldn’t what? We’re not doing anything. We’re just two guys, laying on a bed together.”
He sighed. “I suppose.”
His breath was warm, just like the rest of him. I shuffled closer to his body heat. Kass didn’t move - not any closer, and not any further away. He simply waited.
“It’s not like we haven’t done anything before,” I muttered. “In case you forgot.”
Kass’ eyes flashed. “I didn’t forget.”
“Do you regret it?” I asked, not sure if I wanted to hear the answer.
“Regret what? Having a child with you?”
“And the act that goes along with it, I guess.”
Kass frowned. “No, I don’t.”
“Really?” I asked, genuinely surprised. “Huh. I thought you would have.”
Kass sat up and looked down at me with his serious expression. “Why is the fact that I enjoyed our time together and don’t regret having a child with you a shock?”
Feeling small under his sharp gaze, I shrugged. “Figured you were mad enough to regret it.”
Kassius looked at me for a long time, seeming like he wasn’t totally there. I squirmed uncomfortably. Finally he said, “I regret that you did what you did. I don’t regret being with you. Not at all.”
The words hit me harder than I expected. “You don’t?”
“No.” Kass brought a hand close to my face and let it hover for a moment before he stroked my cheek. “Halo, I’m sorry. I think… I might have been wrong. About a lot of things.” He paused, averting his gaze. “About magic.”
I was too surprised to answer, or to even tease him about it. Instead, I placed my hand on top of his against my face and held it there.
“Everything is so different, and so similar at the same time,” Kassius said. “I feel like I don’t know what is right or wrong anymore. It’s going to take me some time to get used to things.”
His gaze met mine now.
“I don’t think I can be… intimate with you. Not right now. But if you want to lay together, hold hands, maybe... a bit more. I might be able to do that.”
My heart fluttered the same way it did the first time we held hands all those years ago - tight, hot palpitations against my ribs. Like I hadn’t already been intimate with this man in the past. Like I was meeting him again for the first time.
“Halo?”
“Yes,” I said quickly. I took his other hand, squeezed it. “Yes, I’d like that.”
A gently, almost shy smile crossed Kass’ lips. “Maybe I should continue getting dressed?”
I pouted. “Only if you come back fast.”
“I will.”
He clothed himself, then returned in the same position just as he promised. I vaguely lamented losing sight of his bare body, but I still had the mental image of him to hold on to, at least.
“I should tell you something,” I said. “It’s about Angel.”
Kass immediately perked up.
“I saw her today.”
“Where?” Kass demanded.
I held up a hand for him to calm down. “Please just listen.”
I saw the flicker of doubt on his face - the same one that always flashed in the midst of an argument. But I didn’t want to see it now. I didn’t want him to leave. Gently, I placed my hand on his chest.
“She’s safe. She’s with a couple,” I told him. “Two men. Probably an alpha and omega, but I wasn’t sure.”
A million emotions crossed Kass’s expression, the most prominent being relief and confusion. “She’s okay?”
“Yes. She looked happy.” I smiled sadly.
“Did she recognize you?”
“No, she didn’t see me. I was too far away.” I conveniently left out the part about how I was hiding secretly in an alley. “Besides, her attention was on her dads.”
Kass frowned and his brows knitted together. “Don’t call them that. She’s our daughter.”
“Kass,” I said quietly. “They’re looking after her. We should be grateful.”
For a moment Kass seemed like he wanted to argue, but the fire burned out and he just sighed in exhaustion. “Fine. As long as she’s safe.” A new fire flickered as he muttered, “We’re going to figure out what Silas is up to, and when that’s done, we’re taking her back.”
I nodded along. I’d missed this part of Kass - the fiercely protective side that only came out when Angel or I were involved. Leaning forward, I rested my forehead against his chest with a soft sigh. His comforting scent enveloped me, and then his arms did as well.
For the first time in a long time, I felt a flicker of hope that things would somehow be okay between us.
11
Kassius
The dark, ethereal edges of the memory told me it was a dream.
“You’re pregnant?”
The words left my mouth like a strained whisper, as if speaking them out loud would invalidate them. But they didn’t. Halo laughed and said, “Yes, I am.”
My hands shook as I approached and took him into my arms. “You… I can’t believe it. Are you sure?”
“Pretty sure.” He stroked his stomach, which was still flat. “You can’t see it yet, but I can tell.”
“How?” I asked, baffled. “Did you check at a doctor?”
His grin widened. “No. I don’t need to. Look.”
Halo opened his palm and I watched first with curiosity as a tiny flame appeared in his hand, then surprise as it exploded into a towering pillar of flame.
“Gods, Halo!” I yelped, stepping back. “You’re going to burn the house down.”
He just laughed the way he always did. “No, I won’t. It’s fine. I’m completely in control.” With a flick of his wrist, he closed his palm and the flame disappeared into a wisp of smoke.
“But - how?” I asked, dumbfounded. “I’ve never seen you make fire so.. Big.”
At least he found my ignorance about magic amusing, because he chuckled again. “I’d heard rumors about it, but I wasn’t sure until now. When an omega mage is pregnant, their magical ability goes through the roof. It’s like your powers get amplified.” He put a finger to his lip in thought. “Maybe something to do with protecting your baby?”
“That’s incredible!” I exclaimed.
“Speaking of going through the roof,” a stern voice began from behind me, “you might want to put that out.”
I recognized her voice and instantly turned to nod to the armored woman in respect. “Commander Sterling!”
At the same time, Halo blinked and looked up. The edge of the awning was lit by a tiny scrap of flame. “Oh, shit!”
The Commander frowned as Halo quickly created a translucent bubble around the flame, extinguishing it by cutting off the air supply.
He laughed. “Good thing you saw that, or else the house would’ve burned down, huh?”
“Yes,” Sterling said in a level tone.
“So, what’s up?” Halo asked. I nearly balked at how casual his tone was; didn’t he know he was speaking to the Commander of the Knights?
She briefly glanced at Halo before turning to me. “Captain Kassius, you know it’s become… frowned upon for your mate to practice magic so openly.”
Halo crossed his arms. “Hello? I’m standing right here.”
I willed him to be quiet, but didn’t scold him. I didn’t want the Commander to think I couldn’t control my omega.
Even though I can’t.
“I’m aware, Commander, and I apologize,” I said with a bow. “He won’t do it again. Halo was just demonstrating how much stronger his powers are now that he’s pregnant.”
Sterling’s brows raised and she glanced at Halo with mild surprise. “
Congratulations. But I didn’t know that was a… factor in a mage’s abilities.”
Halo tensed, watching the Commander warily. “Yeah. I didn’t until now, either.”
She gave him a stiff nod. “That trick you did with the bubble was interesting. I wasn’t aware you could create anything but fire.”
Halo perked up. “I can do a lot of things. Fire’s just what I’m best at.”
“Indeed.” Sterling cast a glance over her shoulder, the slightest hint of concern on her face. “I’m not a fan of magic myself, but it would be convenient to have something like that protecting us from the outside.”
“The Black Ice pack?” I asked quietly.
The Knights were aware of an outside force lurking beyond our boundaries. They crossed the boundary marker, but the wolf shifters strayed too close for comfort. The Commander and I knew they wanted something, but didn’t know what. The pack had been putting us on edge for months now.
“Yes.” She turned back to me. “In any case, I just wanted to warn you. The other Knights are becoming quite agitated at even the mention of magic. Especially Silas. I’m not sure he would take as kindly to Halo practicing it.”
“But this is my house!” Halo protested.
Sterling’s tone made it clear it wasn’t up for debate. “It’s outside, in public, where everyone can see. Please don’t let me see it again. If I do, I might be forced to intervene.”
I stiffened. The last thing I wanted was for my Commander to apprehend my mate, but rules were rules, and Halo was breaking them. As much as I loved him, I couldn’t let him get himself into trouble. I would protect him, even if it meant making him angry with me.
“I understand,” I said to Commander Sterling. “It won’t happen again.”
Displeasure stained Halo’s face, but for once he didn’t have a scathing reply. I was pleased that he knew to keep quiet.
“Good.” Sterling nodded. “I’ll see you during training, Captain.”
Some of the tension left my shoulders as Sterling departed. I glanced to Halo, half expecting him to be glaring at her from behind, but his faraway gaze was trained in another direction - the same one Sterling had been staring at earlier.
* * *
“Well, isn’t that ironic?” I muttered.
The burnt remains of our old home lay in a charred pile beyond museum-style steel rods that indicated for the public not to cross. At the head of the display was a plaque that read:
Here lies the original home of Halo Fire-Eater, the creator of the Cinderhollow barrier, and his mate. The building was burnt down in protest by his enemies after his disappearance, but the remains have since been preserved in his memory. Please do not touch the display.
I grumbled as I finished reading. “His mate? Is that all I am?”
“Burnt down by my enemies? Man, fuck those guys!” Halo exclaimed.
“Keep your voice down,” I muttered, pulling him closer. There wasn’t a line or even a large crowd desperate to see the display, only the daily foot traffic of people in the area, but it was better to be safe than sorry.
“Whatever,” Halo mumbled. “I can’t believe those assholes burned our house down. Did you see who it was?”
“No, I left town after you disappeared,” I told him. “But if I had to guess, I assume it was the rest of the Knights. I can’t imagine they were pleased with you at the time.”
Halo’s expression was a mix of smugness and annoyance. “Well, at least I have a fancy plaque and they don’t.” He paused and asked, “Wait, why’d you say it was ironic?”
“Well, I just had a dream last night, mostly a memory, about how you lit the awning on fire in front of the Commander. You put it out with clear magic, but it’s ironic that the house ended up burning down regardless.”
“Huh.” He put a hand on his hip. “I remember that.”
“You do?”
“Yup. Sterling, that’s her name right?”
“Yes.”
He began walking away from the display. I followed. “Well, you should thank her. She was the one who gave me the idea for the barrier.”
I stopped in surprise. “Really?”
“Yeah. When I realized how powerful my magic was because of the pregnancy, I knew I could do… almost anything.” He smirked. “Honestly, I think half the reason I did it was to annoy her. She said something about not being a fan of magic, so I thought, how cool would it be to prove her wrong? Make a big barrier to protect us, all of Cinderhollow. They’d all be in my big fat magical debt, and they’d be pissed about it.”
I didn’t know whether to sigh or laugh. “You really are immature, Halo.”
“Hey, that was four hundred years ago, okay?” he muttered. “I mean, not that I feel any different now, but…” He shrugged. “It ended up being a good thing anyway, right?”
I couldn’t deny that much, even though his original intention wasn’t as pure as I thought.
“You know, I still don’t know the specifics of how that thing works,” I said. “I remember one of the Knights mentioning that the barrier burns anyone who isn’t allowed inside, but he might have been biased so I don’t know if it’s true.”
Halo’s smile faded. “It’s true.”
“What? Wait, burns them how?”
He stared down the street, not looking at me. “It sets them on fire. It’s clear magic infused with fire magic, my strongest natural element. So whoever has an energy signature the barrier doesn’t recognize… Well.”
“It - Halo, that - ”
“What? Do you have a problem with it now?” he asked, facing me.
I honestly didn’t know what to feel. It was what Commander Sterling had suggested, and the entire purpose was to protect our tribe, but...
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “It just seems a little extreme.”
Halo shrugged. “There were dangerous people trying to hurt us back then, Kass.”
I would have missed it if I blinked. Something dark flashed across his eyes. It seemed like Halo was gone for a moment, back in the past. His normal self returned a second later and he continued.
“All I did was solve a problem. I was only trying to help people. And it’s not like it’s unsafe now. Remember? Luce and those other foxes said the guards let them in.”
I didn’t doubt that, despite his comment about getting back at Sterling and everyone else, he had our tribe’s best interest at heart. He truly did love Cinderhollow and its people, even if they didn’t feel the same towards him.
I nodded slowly. “You’re right.”
His brows raised. “That’s surprising to hear, coming from you.”
“I’m trying this new thing where I try to be more critical of my actions.”
“I see. Well, I like it.” Halo grinned and brushed his hand against my arm. “Being critical of your actions looks good on you.”
The strange flash of darkness in his eyes was completely gone now. I wondered if I’d imagined it. Part of me wanted to ask, but the way Halo dragged his nails gently up the sensitive skin of my wrist made me shudder and push the question aside. Being here in the moment with him was more important than whatever happened in the past.
We had all the time in the world now; I could always ask him later.
* * *
After some shopping to replace Halo’s torn shirt and my lack of a jacket, we returned to the motel room.
“Is it just me, or are the people in the present time like, really tall?” Halo complained as he flopped down on the bed. “I swear there were more people my height four hundred years ago. Especially other omegas.”
“There has been a lot of different shifter species mating over the centuries,” I pointed out. “Maybe that has something to do with it.”
“Probably a giraffe shifter out there fucking everyone, or something,” Halo muttered.
I chuckled as I finished putting away the clothes in the closet. I hoped the fabric didn’t absorb that musty motel scent by the time we left - wheneve
r that would be.
As if reading my mind, Halo asked. “Hey, not to sound ungrateful or anything, but do you think we can find another place to stay that’s not a motel room?”
“A place?” I said. “As in… a home?”
He shuffled. “Well, yeah.”
I paused before asking, “Together?”
His cheeks took on a slight pink tinge. “I guess so. You, me, and Angel. Just like old times.”
Like old times…
For a moment, I felt completely lost, like the body I inhabited wasn’t my own. It was the aged flesh and bone of a man with nothing left. It wasn’t me.
Who was I anymore?
“Kass?” Halo called gently.
Across from me, one leg curled underneath his lithe body while the other dangled over the edge of the bed, looking at me with a curious and concerned expression, was my former mate.
Former. Because I broke us apart.
Halo’s brows furrowed. “Kass? Are you okay?”
“I’m just thinking,” I replied. I sat down next to him and stared at my hands, which balled into fists on my knees.
I felt Halo’s warm hand on my back. “About what?”
“I was wrong about so many things. About magic. I was scared because I didn’t know what the future would hold.” My fists clenched tighter in shame. “But I see Cinderhollow now, and magic is as casual as the weather, and there’s no fighting or cruelty. It’s not what I expected.”
“Because you never gave it a chance.” It wasn’t an insult, just a statement.
“I didn’t.” I lifted my head and stared Halo in the eyes. “But I need to know something.” I touched his hand and squeezed it. “Before this gets any more serious.”
Halo’s eyes flashed. The same flicker of darkness from earlier. “What is it?”
“Why did you do it?”
His voice became quiet. “Do what?”
I shut my eyes, pinched the bridge of my nose. If this rekindled relationship was going to work, my soul couldn’t handle any more secrets. I needed the truth from Halo. He was right in front of me, desperately close yet just beyond reach, and his horrible secret stood like a gaping chasm between us. One I didn’t dare to cross back then, but now…