by PH Morris
After a few drinks and a couple of biscuits, I started to feel more like me. I realised that I had had a bit of a shock and that I was coming around now. I didn’t think I could go back to work; I felt that I needed to go home. My head was mashed, and I had a headache coming on.
“I think you should take the afternoon off, Mel; you’ve had a big shock. If you go to work now, you won’t be any use, so why don’t you take the afternoon? You could call your mum or just take some time.” She’d read my mind, and I nodded.
“Let’s ring Annabel to see us out, and I will call you a cab. You can drop me at work and head off to home,” she explained.
She then took over, all business-like, and I just sat there looking at the picture in my hand. I never really thought about my eyes or who I looked like, and as I stared at the picture, I was trying to see any other similarities between the two of us.
Out of the fog, I could hear someone saying my name. I looked up and hadn’t noticed Annabel enter the room.
I stood, grabbed my bag off the floor and walked towards the door. “Thank you for everything, Annabel, I will be in touch.” I shook her outstretched hand.
“It was my pleasure; please let me know if you have any questions. “She nodded to Louise.
We entered the lift, which was still busy due to the lunchtime comings and goings and we stepped into a taxi which was idling at the kerb. Once in, it set off into the busy streets.
As we approached work, Louise spoke, “Are you going to be okay, Mel? I can come with you if you need me to?”
“Thanks, Louise, but I’m fine.”
The truth was I wasn’t, but I needed a bit of time. She kissed me and jumped out of the cab, and as she waved me off said that she would speak to Nick. When we got to the apartment block, I tried to pay the cab, but he explained that it was on the account of the solicitors, so I smiled, thanked him and in a daydream arrived at the front door to the flat.
David was home and looked up in surprise as I entered. He could tell I had been crying, and I couldn’t speak but just handed him the letter and the picture. He read the letter quietly and looked at me with shining eyes.
He grabbed me in a big hug. I cried into his chest, and when I finally let go there was a big wet patch on his T-shirt. He released me and grabbed two glasses out of the cupboard, and instead of pouring wine he pulled some Grey Goose out of the freezer and poured us both a shot.
We sat on the big sofa, and I explained to David about the money; all he said was a combination of ‘Shit’ and ‘Christ’.
Although we hadn’t been friends for long, he knew me better than I would ever have expected. I explained to him that the money was one thing but finding out the information about my birth family had shaken me to the core – to think that he had been out there all these years thinking about me, and I was oblivious. I felt robbed of that, and yet again I was on the losing end. Also, Anne-Marie was my half-sister and we had different dads. I’d also found out that my birth father was dead. Not that I was bothered, but to hear about his early life and the untimely death of his mother at the age of nine, which must have hurt him hard and sent him on a path of destruction, was difficult. I felt that my life had come up and slapped me in the face again.
David never told me that I was silly to think that way, he didn’t know what it was like to be me; he was great at just listening and saying all the right things.
I knew I had to speak to my mum, so I rang her, she answered almost immediately. When I told her the news, she was very quiet and just said, “We love you, darling. We will be there as soon as we can. “I didn’t even say ‘no’ or ‘don’t’ because they were what I needed right then.
I had a couple of texts from Kat and Alistair, and I sent them a holding text to say all was good and that I would call them later. I even added a pic of a pineapple to put them off my trauma trail. That would have to be the holding position for a bit.
An hour and a half later the door buzzed, and a few minutes later my mum and dad walked gingerly into the apartment having had the door opened by David.
My mum embraced me, and Dad peeled her off to give me a bigger hug. David dutifully made drinks, and my mum didn’t say a thing about the Grey Goose and the two glasses on the table.
I showed her and Dad the letter, and she frowned a few times and Dad looked troubled. I knew by the looks on their faces that they knew nothing of this grandad.
Looking at the picture, Dad commented, “You have his eyes, love. That’s nice.”
“I know, but he looks so sad, Dad,” and I started to tear up again.
“Hey, come on, that wasn’t your fault, you didn’t know. None of it was your fault.”
“Your dad’s right, Mel,” Mum affirmed, wiping a tear from her cheek. “You were an innocent baby; you had no say in any of it.”
“I know, but I feel bad for him,” I said, pointing at the picture.
“Well, love, it’s all water under the bridge, and he has done what he could for you now, something that can help you in the future,” Dad offered. “It’s a lot of money, love.”
“Yeah, I know. I haven’t even thought about any of it.” I poured myself another small Grey Goose and again my mum kept quiet. Christ, this was a good day to get pissed in front of one’s mother.
Mum and Dad stayed for tea and then headed off home again. It would be dark before they got back and I did offer to let them stay, but my mum pointed out that Dad’s sciatica meant he needed his own bed.
I sent another couple of texts to Kate and Alistair, saying all was okay but that I was very tired, and could I call them tomorrow.
The next day I was back at work and in somewhat of a dream state. I didn’t think much about the money or my plans. I did some reading on the internet and searched some information about my dad and grandfather, and realised I was torturing myself and decided to let it be.
I called Kate and gave her the potted highlights, to which she also said, “Shit” and “Christ” a lot.
I called Alistair and left a message on his answerphone which gave him the highlights in the breeziest voice I could muster, but within a few minutes he rang me back.
“Got your message. Are you okay?” he enquired.
“Yes and no, I guess,” was all I could say.
“I wish I was there with you. Are you still okay for this weekend? Or do you need some time?” he offered.
Shit, I had forgotten. “God, no way,” I replied, recovering quickly. “I honestly think it’s what I need.”
“Well, the weather, for once, is going to be nice, so it really will be lovely, and Archie is dead excited. I have told him all about you,” he chuckled.
“Wait, I thought he didn’t live with you?” I questioned.
“Yeah, that’s right,” he stated matter-of-factly; “I rang him on the mobile.”
“Oh, right, and he has his mobile, does he?” I was grinning.
“No, silly Mel, he borrows my sister’s,” he laughed.
“Genius,” was all I could manage.
He always knew how to bring me out of my negative thoughts with a silly remark.
“Why do you do that?” I enquired.
“What? Talk to the dog on the phone?” he replied.
“No, why do you always make me laugh with something silly?”
“Because, Mel, I know it will make you laugh, and I love that sound.” he confirmed.
His thoughtfulness nearly set me off crying again, but I held it together.
We chatted for a few more minutes and confirmed the arrangements for the weekend. I hadn’t organised my flights yet, and they would probably be more expensive, but I didn’t give a crap about that.
After I said goodbye, I got on to organising the flights and for once fate was on my side with availability and price being good. I texted Alistair to confirm and he sent me back a
picture of a plane, a mountain, a lake, a dog and a phone.
I updated Louise at lunch on the whole thing and the chat with my mum and decided to give myself some time; there was no rush. I fired an email off to Miss Jardine and got a reply later which was lovely and supportive, telling me to take my time. I even asked her to keep the personal items for a little while longer, and she confirmed that that would be fine.
I had a plan, which didn’t involve doing anything but was still a plan. My life had changed in the last twenty-four hours immeasurably, but that didn’t mean I had to do anything. I could keep control of things until I had sorted it all out. It had hit me hard to think I had family out there that I knew nothing about. Having met my birth family all those years ago, I had decided to distance myself from them. My mum and dad who had brought me up were all the family I needed, and as I made my way through life, I had met some amazing people, some shitty ones too, but on the whole, I had done okay for myself. While I felt a sense of bereavement for this old man I never knew, I realised that I was feeling sorry for myself and not really for him. I struggled with empathy, I was a bag of mixed emotions, and it was hard to identify what they were: anger; sadness; intrigue; loss; confusion, disappointment?
I shook my head firmly and decided I would go and see Nick; while he gave me a lot of freedom, I also didn’t want to take the piss.
I got up and made my way along the corridor to his office. Suzy wasn’t at her desk, and Nick’s door was open slightly, so I knocked on the doorframe and he shouted, “Come in!” without looking up.
I waited, and he then looked up. “Hi, Mel, come in and sit down.”
“Is it a bad time?” I enquired.
“Always,” he smiled in reply, “but I have always got time for you. Louise updated me a little on yesterday but not the details.” He held up his hand before I could interject. “And before you say anything, I don’t need to know the details.”
“I wondered if I could take a few days’ leave? I know it is rather short notice, but basically I have just found out that a man I never even knew existed has left me a shed-load of money and a letter that has opened up some old wounds.” All the words came out in a long monologue and then I breathed.
“Mel, you know I have a lot of respect for you, and you always do much more for me than I could ever ask. You are due some time; you had that break in March, was it, when you and Mark went to Tunisia?”
“Turkey,” I corrected.
“Yeah, Turkey,” he continued, “but since then you have had only an odd weekend here and there. You had a horrid time in May, and then you basically pushed through, and here we are getting close to September and you haven’t taken much time off since then. Take some time. Honestly, we can manage. If there is anything you can give to Suzy to babysit, then fine.”
I blew out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “Crikey, you’re right, a lot has happened.” I couldn’t believe that was almost six months ago.
“Finish off anything that is urgent today and then get out of here for a long weekend or whatever you need.”
“Thanks, Nick, you’re the best.”
“Yeah, I know, but what can you do?” He looked back down at his work, and I got up to leave.
“Mel?” I turned around to look at Nick. “Take care of yourself.”
“I will, and thanks.”
He shooed me away with his hand, and I walked out of his office. Suzy was back in her office, and I popped my head in to explain I was taking a few days’ leave and asked if she would keep an eye on my emails.
She, of course, agreed.
Chapter 14
In the flat that evening, I really didn’t know what to do with myself; I was so used to being busy. David left a note to say that he was out and would be back later. Maybe when he got back, we could go cat-hunting together. I hadn’t been a good friend lately when Marmalade went missing and I really should help him out.
I decided that tomorrow I would treat myself to some retail therapy; I could get myself some new stuff. I had guessed on the general location of where we were going, but if I looked east of Inverness the weather was cloudy and overcast, but to the west was sunny spells, so I guessed I had to plan for all eventualities, but I supposed I could ask Alistair and then pack accordingly.
Also, from David’s knicker joke, I was probably in need of suitable underwear and, given that I might be getting intimate with Alistair this weekend, some new things would be nice. Oh lord, I didn’t know how to feel about that. I’d had a few drunken fumbles in the past, but Mark was my first, so I didn’t have much to go on in the experience department, and I was sure, by looking at Alistair, that he had bagged any number of ladies. What if I didn’t compare to his experiences?
Well, maybe it wasn’t going to happen. Luckily, I was on the pill and had stayed on it even after splitting with Mark, as I had suffered badly with cramps in the past, so I didn’t plan on stopping taking it just because I wasn’t getting any action.
There was a sudden commotion from outside in the hallway and the door burst open with David’s joyful laughter, and in his arms was a totally unharmed and rather fat-looking Marmalade. Whatever he had been doing for the last few days had agreed with him, and he had obviously been well fed.
“Look who I found!” gushed David.
“Where did you find him?”
“He was just in the parking area in the garages. I heard him meow, and then he came up to me and curled around my legs. I couldn’t believe it.” Talking to the cat now he cooed, “Who’s a gorgeous furball? Yes, you are, yes, you are.”
I walked towards the two of them. “Give us a quick cuddle, then.” I offered my arms and David reluctantly handed the fat cat to me.
“You are a naughty boy, worrying your dad like that.” I scratched his ears and snuggled into him as he purred.
“Well, you have been well fed, that’s for sure, Fatty, and by the smell of him it would seem that toffee popcorn was his meal of choice.”
“Hey!” David exclaimed. “Leave him alone,” and he grabbed Marmalade off me. “What do you mean popcorn?” He sniffed Marmalade’s head. “I can’t smell anything; he does smell a little sweet, though.”
“Oh, I’m a bit weird with smells; my mum used to say that I could smell things way before anyone else could. I’ve always been that way,” I explained. “Anyway, I am glad you’re back, Fatty,” I insulted the cat again, and David stuck out his tongue at me.
I cooked a celebratory meal that night, salmon carbonara, and even kept some fish back for Marmalade.
I exchanged a few phone calls with my mum and Kate, bringing them both up to date with my plans. I fired a text off to Louise saying that I was going to be out of the office for a few days, and she sent me an encouraging few words. I knew that I had some great friends and family who really had my back, and the rest of them could sod right off.
David was off the next day, and he squealed when I told him of my shopping plans for the day. I groaned inwardly when he also suggested a few shops which included a lingerie outlet. God, this was going to be fun for him and pain for me.
I fell into bed a little after eleven that night, after David, and I watched a re-run of Terminator 2, despite having seen the film a dozen times.
I lay in bed for a few minutes catching up on social media, and I must have fallen asleep as the next thing I knew my alarm was going off for the usual morning get-up. I hit the off button and fell back blissfully when I remembered I had no work today. I dozed on and off for over an hour and then David pushed open my door with his shoulder and entered with a tray of breakfast.
“Morning, sleeping beauty,” said David breezily, putting the tray on the bed and snagging himself a bit of toast.
“Oooh, breakfast in bed, I am a lucky girl.”
“Well, I have an ulterior motive,” grinned David mischievously. “I figured, the soo
ner I can get you up, the sooner we can hit the shops,” he explained through a mouthful of toast.
“Oh god, a day shopping with Auntie D; what horrors will I come home with?” I held the back of my hand to my forehead and fell dramatically back against the pillow.
“Now I know you hate shopping, but with me, you will love it. Now, eat your toast and get your ass in that shower. We are out of here at nine.” He swatted my leg through the covers and left the room. I enjoyed the rare treat and drank the tea. I considered getting back under the covers, until I heard David’s voice outside my door. “I can’t hear any water running… Don’t make me come in there.”
“Okay, okay, I’m up!” I yelled at the closed door like an errant teenager.
I did as I was told but didn’t bother washing my hair for fear of getting into trouble and was ready in a reasonable time. The weather was cool but dry, which was perfect for trekking round the shops.
We left the flat just before nine, and I was happy as I bounced down the street with David arm-in-arm.
David went into full swing, organising my wardrobe, and convinced me to buy a lovely soft, off-the-shoulder, duck-egg blue sweater that cost over £100, much more than I would normally spend, but I had to admit it was lovely. I was also persuaded to buy two new pairs of jeans, new ankle boots in a soft caramel colour and even a new casual bag that matched the boots perfectly. When we stopped for lunch, I was a lot lighter in the pocket and in my heart. It was true: shopping was a therapy of sorts.
We sat in a little coffee shop having carrot cake and a latte, and I was chatting with David about his eye for style and laughing in a relaxed way when David started doing his Vivienne Westwood impression. Suddenly his face changed and, just as I was about to ask him what the problem was, I heard a voice that could literally grate cheese.
“Melissa, Melissa, it is you, isn’t it?” and there she was, Anne Marie. Jesus, this woman was worse than a bad penny – she was like a pebble poo that you couldn’t flush away.