by Penelope Sky
Someday, another man would sweep her off her feet, and she would forget about me. There was nothing I could do to avoid it. I was tired of trying to fight fate to have the woman I loved. It was too much work, and it always blew up in my face. “It’s gonna happen sometime…let it be.”
Ash was quiet for a while, as if he had no idea what to say to that. But he continued to sit on the phone with me, as if that was the only comfort he could provide. “I’m sorry all of this is happening to you. You don’t deserve it.”
I closed my eyes and let the words repeat in my mind. I didn’t want anyone’s pity, but I appreciated his understanding. The person who used to understand me down to my core was long gone. I pushed her even further away. I had no one to blame but myself. “Thanks, man.”
6
Sofia
Two weeks had come and gone since I’d screamed at Hades. Anytime I thought of him, my heart still palpitated with rage. I didn’t want things to be this way, but I had to stand up for myself. I had to set the record straight.
I used to love that man with all my heart, but now I was so angry with him.
I stayed busy at work, working longer hours at the hotel because I had nothing else to do. Andrew’s room was ready to go, and I didn’t have any friends in the city. I had my mom, but she wasn’t my favorite person to hang out with.
I was sitting in the office doing paperwork when Antonio walked inside. “Hey, how’s it goin’?” I guess he was a friend. He was a person I worked with on a daily basis, one of the few interactions I had.
“Good.” He sat down in the chair across from my desk. “I’m the hotel manager, but you seem to work longer hours than I do.”
I shrugged. “I’m a bit of a workaholic.”
“Not a bad thing. But you are an expectant mother. You should take it easy. I can handle things around here.”
I smiled. “That’s very generous, but I like to stay busy. Keeps me sane. If I stay home all day thinking about giving birth to a fat baby, I’ll lose my mind.”
He chuckled. “Understandable.”
I turned back to my paperwork and expected him to leave, but when he continued to linger, I lifted my gaze again. “Is there something you needed?”
He leaned forward slightly and rested his forearms on his knees. “This is kinda awkward, but I’ve been thinking about it a long time.”
Was he about to ask me for a raise? He’d been a hard worker, and he was there early in the morning and late at night. If he asked for a raise, I would give it to him. I believed your business was only as strong as your employees. If your employees were happy, your business would be happy.
He paused for a long time before he continued. “Would you want to have dinner sometime?”
I stared at him incredulously because I couldn’t believe what he just asked me. I was a woman who was more than seven months pregnant with another man’s child. I was twenty pounds heavier than I usually was…and that had nothing to do with the baby. “Uh…”
“If you say no, I totally understand. No pressure, no hard feelings. But we seem to get along so well, and I feel like we have a connection. Can’t blame a guy for trying, right?” Now he looked at me expectantly, waiting for my answer.
I continued to be shocked.
The longer I was quiet, the more uncomfortable he became. “Forget I asked. It’s unprofessional.”
“No, it’s not that. I just can’t believe someone asked me out.” I assumed I would be undesirable to men everywhere. I was pregnant, and when I wasn’t anymore, I would be a single mom. What kind of guy would be interested in that unless he were a single father himself?
Antonio raised an eyebrow as he looked at me. “I don’t think it’s that surprising…” He straightened in his chair and relaxed now that he knew I wasn’t offended by the proposition. “You’re a beautiful woman, you are kind and funny, and you are dedicated to your hotel. I think you have the whole package.”
It was such a compliment that I didn’t know what to say. My ambition was a turn-off for most men. One person who didn’t care was Hades. He actually seemed aroused by it. “Well, I’m very flattered.”
Antonio waited for an answer.
I was free to do whatever I wanted. I was single, almost legally divorced, and it seemed like Hades hated me. I’d relocated here to move on with my life, so that was what I should be doing. But I was still madly in love with Hades, no matter how angry I was with him. I wasn’t ready to move on. I suspected I wouldn’t be ready for a long time. Even if he were back in the dating scene already, that wouldn’t entice me to do the same. “You know, I just got divorced a couple months ago… I’m not ready to date.”
Antonio took my rejection in stride. “I totally understand. If you ever are ready and are interested, let me know.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. But I should be honest and tell you I’m still in love with my ex-husband.” Our marriage didn’t end because we wanted it to; it ended because it had to. And that changed everything.
Antonio rose to his feet and continued to keep the situation lighthearted. “He’s a lucky man.”
After I’d screamed at Hades, I’d expected some kind of retaliation, whether he showed up on my doorstep or called me in the middle of the night. But that never happened. The silence continued for weeks. Those weeks turned into a month, but I refused to call him, refused to apologize. To behave like this was easy for me was a slap in the face. I had to move away, pregnant with his son, and start over.
And he thought that was easy?
I should drop my stubbornness and pride because we had more important things to worry about, but I still wanted him to make the first move. I deserved an apology, and I wouldn’t play nice until I got one.
When he didn’t call in a month, I realized I wasn’t going to get what I wanted.
I was eight months pregnant, and it was time to move on.
The hardest part about making the call was the admission that everything was different. That our relationship wasn’t even close to being the same. We were distant, practically strangers. I was in bed when I dialed.
The phone rang for a long time, so long, I didn’t think he would answer.
He’d never ignored my call before. I hoped this wouldn’t be the first time.
He picked up, clearly in a flustered mood. “What is it?”
“What is it?” I asked incredulously. “That’s how you want to talk to me?”
The sound of him walking and breathing hard was audible. “I’m working.”
Now I understood he was probably doing some illegal shit with Maddox. There were probably guns and dead bodies involved. I refused to apologize for my call. “I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow…if you want to come.” We hadn’t spoken at all, so I wasn’t sure how much affection he had for me anymore. We used to be so in love, and now all of that was gone. I never thought it would happen to us.
“Text me the time. I’ll be there.” He hung up without another word.
I kept the phone to my ear in the darkness, the light from the screen brightening when the call ended. I didn’t know what else to do, so I continued to lie there, to let the painful feelings fester like an infected wound. I eventually dropped the phone and turned on my side to stare into the darkness. My hand went over my tummy, and even though I had life underneath my palm, I felt so alone.
I’d never felt so alone.
I glanced at the clock every couple minutes because I knew Hades would be there any moment. He was picking me up at the hotel, so it was the first time he would see my office. I was dressed in a black dress with flats, trying to look as slender as possible. Sometimes I wondered if he was still attracted to me or if I was just a big cow in his eyes. Was he screwing prostitutes and strippers, so I looked like hell in comparison? I wanted to ask, but I had too much pride.
A moment later, heavy footsteps announced his presence. They thudded against the hard wood before he turned the corner and stepped into my office. Tall, muscul
ar, and with a brooding stare, he was a magnetic force that practically shook all the paintings off the walls with just his presence. He was in a t-shirt and jeans, his physique stronger than it used to be. He was clearly working out more than he used to, lifting weights and increasing his size. He gave me a stony look as if he didn’t want to be there. He stopped in front of my desk and stared at me with an arctic gaze. Heartbeats passed, and nothing was said. His brown eyes were hot but not warm. His jaw was clean like he’d just shaved before he left to join me. His powerful arms rested by his sides as he waited for me to stand.
I watched him for a full minute before I rose to my feet and grabbed my purse. The silence wasn’t full of comfortable camaraderie. It was tense, uncomfortable, raw. We were both bleeding from invisible wounds.
His eyes glanced down to my stomach because I was much bigger than I used to be. The stare only lasted a couple seconds before he met my gaze once again.
I came around the desk and prepared to leave. There would be no chitchat or stupid conversation about the weather. We were both fine suffering in mutual silence.
Before I could step out, Antonio entered my office with a couple folders under his arm. He halted when he realized I was about to leave with company. “Should I just drop these on your desk?” He glanced at Hades, but instead of being polite and introducing himself, he turned his gaze back to me.
“I got it.” I grabbed the folders and tossed them on my desk.
Hades stared at Antonio with silent hatred.
It was noticeably awkward, so I tried to break the discomfort. “Antonio, this is my husband…I mean ex-husband.” I should’ve chosen better words altogether, but now the damage was done. I looked at the floor because I didn’t want to see Hades’s face. But when I lifted up my gaze again, I kept talking. “We have a doctor’s appointment today.”
Antonio gave a subtle nod before he shook Hades’s hand. “Pleasure to meet you, and congratulations on the baby. I’m the hotel manager, so I spend a lot of time with Sofia.”
Hades reciprocated the gesture but didn’t say a word.
Antonio picked up on the tension and excused himself. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sofia. I hope everything goes well today.”
“Thanks, Antonio.” I watched him walk out and wondered why Hades was being so cold to one of my employees. I understood he was in a bad mood, but that was unnecessary. I wanted to tell him off, but I didn’t want to ruin the day before it even started. “Let’s go…”
We sat in the doctor’s office. I was in my gown, but I didn’t want to sit on the examining table, so I sat in the chair directly across from Hades. With my legs crossed and my hand on my large stomach, I sat there and suffered the silence.
Hades sat with his knees wide apart and his hands on his thighs. His face was slightly tilted toward the window, and his eyes were focused on the closed blinds. He couldn’t see outside, but he continued to stare like there was nothing else for him to look at. The watch I gave him was on his wrist, but his wedding ring was still gone.
I glared at him, my anger slowly building as he continued to ignore me. We hadn’t said more than a few words to each other, and he was clearly fine with the animosity between us. We were about to have a baby, but it seemed like we were just doing business.
It made me hate him a little bit.
I didn’t care how handsome he was. I didn’t care how much I missed him. I hated him. “Is this how it’s going to be? We’re just never going to talk to each other?”
He kept his eyes on the window. “We’re talking now, aren’t we?”
I actually rolled my eyes at the smartass comment. “Is this really how you want to have our son?”
A sarcastic chuckle escaped his closed lips.
“What?”
He shook his head slightly. “I don’t need to answer that.”
“Well, you need to say something. I’m getting sick of this little act, and I’m getting tired of waiting for an apology.”
His eyes shifted to mine, finally. His gaze was cold like freshly fallen snow. The look was actually a bit scary. “You’ll be waiting a long time, then.”
I felt the rage and sadness as I looked at him. “We used to be so different… I can’t believe this happened to us. We were in love when we made our son. Now you hate me…”
His eyes stayed on mine for a long time, his gaze so still it was like a frozen lake. There was a gleam of rage in his eyes, but it slowly simmered to calmness. For just a moment, he looked like the man I once loved. “I don’t hate you, Sofia.”
“It seems like it.”
“I can never hate you. Ever.”
I heard his words, but they felt like a contradiction to his behavior. I would just have to settle for the confession and believe his honesty. My hand rubbed over my stomach, and I felt a little more at ease. “How are you?”
Just as before, his eyes flicked back to the window. “I don’t want to have this conversation.”
“Then what kind of conversation can we have?”
After a long stretch of silence, he shook his head. “How’s Andrew?”
“He kicks me all night long, makes me use the bathroom every ten minutes, makes me so hungry I have to eat a million calories a day…so I’m pretty sure he’s an asshole like you.”
Finally, a slight smile formed on his lips. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s okay. I’m sure he’ll inherit some of your better traits.”
“I don’t have better traits.”
“You do…I just haven’t seen them lately.”
His eyes switched back to me, and he stared at me endlessly. It was still hard to tell how he felt toward me. It seemed like he hated me but cared for me at the same time. But it didn’t feel like he loved me anymore. That was a thing of the past.
The doctor came in a moment later and performed a sonogram of my stomach. The heartbeat was loud and strong, and Andrew was nearly fully developed. His head was so distinct, along with his fingers and toes. The doctor said the words every mother wanted to hear. “You have a very healthy baby boy. Now, all we have to do is wait for him to arrive.”
Hades stood at my side and stared at the monitor with a stoic expression. He didn’t seem to feel anything—at least, it seemed that way on the surface. But his eyes were glued to the screen like he didn’t want to look at anything else ever again. Slowly, his eyes softened as he looked at our son.
The doctor excused himself and gave us privacy.
Hades didn’t stop his stare.
“He’s beautiful…” Tears welled in my eyes because I could see the person I’d been feeling for nine months. I already knew him so well, with every bout of morning sickness and every bit of pressure I felt against my bladder. Andrew was already a part of my life, but now I got to see him be a part of Hades’s life.
Hades breathed a deep sigh. “Yeah, he is.” His hand moved to my stomach, and he placed his outstretched fingers across the bump. He rested his hand there a long time, feeling the life we made together. His eyes shifted from the screen to my stomach, and he placed his other hand there as well, like he was hugging our son with both hands. “Our son…”
Hades drove me home then walked me to the front door. We didn’t say a single word on the drive, and we returned to the awkward silence neither one of us liked to experience. Once Andrew was no longer the topic, the only things we had in common were mutual pain and resentment. We were a divorced couple that couldn’t forgive each other for the wrongs we did to each other.
I unlocked the front door then turned back to him. I didn’t know what to say, but I wanted to say something. I didn’t want him just to leave and we’d return to our broken relationship. I wanted things to be better… I wanted us to be better. “Thank you for coming.”
He slid his hands into the front pockets of his jeans and breathed a quiet sigh. He kept a foot between us, a significant distance filled with resentment and distrust. “I’ll always be here for him.”
That w
asn’t the reply I’d hoped for.
He glanced at the door before he pivoted his body to the steps. “Goodnight.”
I didn’t want him to walk away. I didn’t want him to leave us like this, in this perpetual pain. “Hades.”
Instead of walking away and ignoring me, he turned back to me. His eyes were filled with impatience, as if the only thing he wanted to do was to get away from me as quickly as possible.
I wasn’t sure what I wanted from him, but I knew I wasn’t really angry with him. I just missed him…wished he understood just how much I missed him. I was angry with the world because of what happened to us. I was lonely, heartbroken, and wanted the man I loved. Telling him all of that seemed pointless, so I didn’t know what else to do.
He continued to watch me with guarded eyes, prepared for whatever I would throw his way. There was a hint of indifference in his gaze, but it seemed forced. He wasn’t himself at all…as if he had to watch his front and his back when he was with me.
I stared at my ex-husband with longing, missing the intimacy we used to share, the trust that was once unbreakable. He used to come home from work and kiss me as if he’d been thinking about it all day. He used to stare at my naked body as if he’d never seen anything so beautiful. He used to open up to me and confide every secret he never shared with anyone else.
All that was gone.
Before I knew what I was doing, I moved into him and let my hands brush over his chest to his shoulders. My mouth came close to his, and I watched the way he went rigid at my proximity. I could feel his muscles tense under my touch, feel his breath brush over my chin as he sucked in a deep breath.
I leaned in and let my soft lips touch his full ones. My hands slid from his shoulders to his muscular arms, and I closed my eyes as I felt that old spark. I took a deep breath as I touched him, felt all that heat and love rush back. Kissing him was different from kissing any other man. He was special…one of a kind.