by Penelope Sky
The guilt overwhelmed me so much that I avoided her gaze.
She probably picked up on my mood swing but didn’t comment on it. “I’m taking Andrew in for a checkup at one if you want to join us. But if you’re busy, I can handle it.”
I headed to the door. “I have an important meeting I can’t get out of.”
“Then don’t worry about it.” She followed me then rose on her tiptoes to kiss me goodbye. She cupped my cheeks and gave me a full kiss, showing the depth of her love in that simple embrace.
She could make me feel so much…with so little.
She pulled away then squeezed both of my biceps through my jacket. “Have a good day… I love you.” The insecurity in her eyes told me she didn’t expect me to say it back. She didn’t want to make it awkward either, so she turned away so we wouldn’t have to face the tension.
I stayed rooted to the spot instead of walking out. “Sofia.”
She turned back to me.
I slid my hands into my pockets. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” she whispered. “Whether you say it back or not, I want to say it anyway.”
“Not for that.”
She raised an eyebrow.
“I’m sorry I…stopped being totally faithful to you.” My gaze dropped because I was too much of a coward to meet her look. “I don’t feel good about what I did. I’m sorry that I hurt you.” I’d celebrated my freedom at the time, but I didn’t get much pleasure out of it. I’d stopped loving her and I’d tried to jump back into my bachelor life, but once these feelings started again, I realized that wasn’t me. Whether I loved her or not, she meant the world to me. I was glad I’d never actually had sex with any other women.
Her eyes filled with emotion before she walked back to me. Her hand rested on my bicep before she looked up at me. “We’ve both done things that we regret. We are supposed to be together, so let’s forget the past. We’re a family now. That’s all that matters.”
Ash was in town, so I met him after work for a drink.
“So…you and the missus are Mr. And Mrs. again?” He swirled his scotch on the rocks then took a drink. The bar was quiet that evening because it was in the middle of the week.
“Where did you hear that?”
“Sofia talks to Damien, who talks to me… We love to gossip.”
I noticed Sofia had a closer relationship with Damien and my own brother than I did. She was just easy to love. “We’re working on it…”
“Good. Sofia has too nice of an ass to get away.”
I grabbed the top of my glass and slid it toward him. “Just because you’re my brother doesn’t mean I won’t shatter this into pieces then shove the shards up your ass.”
His response was completely inappropriate; he grinned like an idiot. “I missed you.”
I cocked an eyebrow.
“You know, this huffy-puffy wolf guy. I love pissing you off. It’s so much fun.”
I took a drink and ignored what he said.
“So, when do they move in again?”
“We’re just taking things slow right now.”
“But have you seen how cute your kid is?”
“Yes,” I said sarcastically. “I made him.”
“Wouldn’t you want to see him every day?”
I didn’t reply because the answer was obvious.
“Wouldn’t you want to see your woman every day?”
I’d started to miss her on the nights she was gone. There was a distinct hole in my bed where she was supposed to be. It had happened so quickly, I could hardly believe it.
“I think they should move back in, and you should get remarried. What’s the point in waiting? You know it’s going to happen anyway. But I guess that means you have to walk away from everything…and I’m sure you don’t want to do that.”
I was about to pull my glass closer and take a drink, but I flinched at what he’d said. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Ash pushed up the sleeves of his shirt. “I just assumed you would retire.”
“Why the fuck would I do that?”
He gave me a look like I was stupid. “Uh…maybe because terrible things happen to your wife because of it? Because now you have a son whom people could target? Because you’re probably going to have more kids? I thought that was obvious.”
The thought hadn’t crossed my mind. I’d been taking things slow with Sofia and not thinking too far into the future. But I knew she would be my wife again, and I knew we would have another son. After everything that had happened with Maddox, it would be foolish to think something like that could never happen again.
Ash continued to drink as he stared at me. “Maybe you should talk to Sofia about it.”
I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to think about sacrificing my life’s work for a simple reason. To someone else, it was just crime and money, but to me, it was so much more. It was my life’s work…my blood.
“You want my advice?”
“No. But you’ll give it to me anyway.”
“Your job has brought you the worst agony you’ve ever known. Yes, there’s good stuff like money, power, and enemies’ bloodshed, but for the most part, it’s fucking stressful. Sofia and Andrew have only brought you joy. I think the answer is pretty obvious.”
Summer had ended, and now it was late September. Toward the end of the month was when things started to change. Leaves turned from green to red, and the humidity slowly turned into fog. Fall had arrived, bringing crisp days with sunshine.
Sofia and I had spent our time having dinners in my bedroom while spending time with Andrew. We never went out to dinner because it was too hard to bring a baby, and a lot of times Sofia didn’t want to leave him home. She quickly turned into one of those mothers who was obsessed with their son.
Not that I minded.
She continued to tell me she loved me…even when I didn’t say it back.
It happened when I left for work, when we were in bed together, and it was the last thing she said before she went to sleep. It was the first time in our relationship when there were no expectations for me. She was the one doing all the work, the one fighting for me.
It was nice.
Without any pressure or expectation, I relaxed and stopped worrying about getting hurt again. I lived in the moment, watching my son grow so quickly and Sofia’s happiness blossom. Being committed wasn’t hard because I was never really fulfilled by my promiscuous lifestyle.
I was much happier now.
We sat on the couch together and watched TV. I had Andrew lying on my chest with his face close to my neck. He was in a onesie, and he held his favorite stuffed animal as he drifted off to sleep. His fingers eventually went slack, and he dropped the doll onto the couch.
Sofia sat beside me. “Looks like he’s out.”
“He had a long day.” My hand rested on his back so he wouldn’t slip away. I got used to our evenings when we cuddled like this. Like most fathers, I looked forward to it. It was something just he and I did, and I already dreaded when he would be too old to do this anymore. One day, he would grow into a man, be independent and strong, and he wouldn’t need me anymore.
Such a depressing thought.
Sofia hooked her arm through mine and rested close to me. She’d been working out with a trainer to get her body back in shape. Now she was a lot tighter and fitter, and while she looked great, I actually liked her body before.
At least I could enjoy it again when she was pregnant a second time.
She gently rubbed her fingers up and down my arm and stared at my face instead of the TV. She usually only had eyes for Andrew, but I was the center of her focus tonight. “You’re such a good father…”
“I am?”
“Absolutely.” She smiled slightly. “You’re so good with him…and he loves you so much. I’d like to have a girl, but I like raising a son to be like his father.” She leaned down and pressed a kiss to my shoulder.
I missed bei
ng loved by her this way. When we were married, she was all over me all the time. She didn’t have to tell me how she felt because she wore it on her sleeve. The woman was infatuated with me…the way I’d always been with her. It was nice to have that back. At the end of the day, her opinion was the only one that mattered. “I’ve decided to walk away from the business.”
It took her a long time to process my announcement. Her smile slowly faded away, and the brightness in her eyes dulled into a look of confusion. We had been having a warm moment, but now everything turned serious. “What do you mean by that?”
“I’m leaving the business to Damien.”
“Why?”
“You and Andrew.” I continued to watch the reaction dance across her face as she went from being surprised to being touched. “I can’t risk anything happening to either one of you. Not again.”
She was still shocked. She tucked her hair behind her ear and stared at Andrew for a few seconds before she looked at me again. “I…don’t know what to say. I guess I’m just surprised that you made that decision. I know how important your work is to you.”
It used to be the most important thing in the world. But now it seemed like a reckless choice, a risk too great when I had something so valuable at home. Now that my heart had been fixed, I didn’t need the job anymore. Everything I needed was here. “I love you.” I looked into her gaze and watched the shock quickly turn into joy. “So don’t be surprised.”
I entered the factory and moved down to the basement floor, where all the equipment was set up. Clouds of steam rose to the ceiling and were carried outside through the pipes. There were two cooks making the crystal, while other men boxed the product and prepared to ship it.
Damien was there, watching everyone to make sure their jobs were done right. He may have screwed up with me, but he was a good boss. He instilled fear into the men, along with a healthy dosage of inspiration. He watched the containers being placed on the pallet so they could be taken to the surface in the industrial elevator.
I came up behind him. “You got a minute?”
Damien looked at me over his shoulder, his arms crossed over his chest. “I’ve got shit to do. I never have a minute.”
My eyes narrowed in annoyance. “It’s important.”
He rolled his eyes. “Everything in this business is important.” He walked off to the office on the other side of the room. It had been overtaken by Maddox at one point, but now it was ours again. He walked inside first and stood in front of the desk.
I followed him, and it was hard not to imagine Maddox sitting there with his feet on the desk. He’d been gone for months, but his ghost continued to haunt me. I didn’t have nightmares, but he was on my mind often.
Damien leaned against the desk with his arms across his chest. In a black t-shirt and jeans, he was fit and strong, and with that attitude, he could be quite the adversary. “This isn’t a date, so we don’t have all night.”
“Fine. I’ll just get to the point.”
Damien stared at me, his eyes guarded but also full of interest.
“The business is yours. I’m bowing out.”
He cocked one eyebrow before he straightened. “Huh?”
I knew he wouldn’t be happy about this, so it would be a long conversation. “I’m not doing this anymore. It’s time for me to move on.”
With Damien’s temperament, he would probably throw a fit and lash out. We’d been doing this together for years, and doing it on his own would mean he’d have to do all the work himself. Having a partner you could rely on was crucial to success. “If you’re gonna have a wife and kid, I guess that’s smart.”
Now it was my turn to be surprised.
“Your family deserves to be safe. Sofia deserves the quiet life she always wanted.”
I could hardly believe what he was saying.
“Hades, you know I don’t need you. I can do all this shit on my own in my sleep. But the reason we were partners was because we were friends. But that isn’t true anymore, so there’s not much point.”
His harsh response made me feel a little dead inside.
“What about the bank? I can handle that too if you want to leave.”
“No. The bank is fine. If I don’t work, I’ll lose my mind.”
Damien dropped his arms to his sides and stared at me for a long time. His expression was vivid, but his thoughts were concealed. There was a slight shift in his eyes as he took in my appearance.
“That was easier than I thought it would be.”
“You overestimate your value.” His tone was sarcastic but also slightly playful.
Damien and I didn’t interact at the bank often, so our time together would be diminished significantly. We’d set out to start this business when we left university, believing we would be friends forever. But now we were going our separate ways…permanently. “Good luck.” I headed to the door.
“So, that’s it?”
I stopped before I reached the door and slowly turned around.
“We’ve known each other for over ten years, and you’re walking away just like that?” Hurt was in his eyes…along with other things.
I stared at him. “What do you want me to say?”
After a full minute of silence, he shook his head slightly. “Nothing. A friendship like ours doesn’t deserve more than nothing. It deserves to be forgotten.” He took a step closer to me, his eyes filled with disappointment. “You don’t give a shit about me, and you never did.”
“Let’s not forget how this happened…”
“Asshole, I didn’t try to get your wife raped. Don’t put that shit on me. Sofia doesn’t, so you shouldn’t either.”
“She has a bigger heart than I do.”
“No. You don’t have a heart at all.”
My eyes narrowed.
“Just forget it.” He threw his arms up. “We’ll only speak to each other at work when we have to, and we’ll spend the rest of the time pretending the other one doesn’t exist. You’ll have more kids that I’ll never meet, and all the shit going on my life will be a mystery to you. We’ll turn into strangers, and after enough years pass by, maybe we’ll forget we were ever friends in the first place.” He walked past me and shoved me aside with his arm on his way to the door. “Have a good fucking life.”
28
Sofia
Hades told me he loved me, that he was leaving the business that had caused so much suffering for both of us. It was a relief that he’d made the decision on his own because I never could’ve asked. After everything he had done for me, I would stick by his side no matter what. But he’d made the right choice for our family.
And I didn’t even have to ask.
Now, I wouldn’t have to worry about someone coming after me to get back at him. And I wouldn’t have to worry about someone hurting my baby boy. The best way to disappear from danger was to disappear altogether.
While things had definitely changed, he hadn’t asked me to move in yet.
Things were going so well that I didn’t want to risk our happiness by asking for too much. I wanted to be in my old bed with Hades beside me every night. I wanted to feel safe, knowing he was there to protect me and our son. I wanted to feel the weight of my diamond ring on my left hand every night as I slept.
But I had to keep being patient.
I got Andrew ready before I called Hades.
He answered right away, but he was clearly in a bad mood. “Yeah?”
He hadn’t spoken to me that way in a long time, so I let it slide. “Everything okay?”
“Just a shitty day.”
“I was going to see if we could come over, but I’ll give you your space.” It was another reason why I missed being married, because I couldn’t comfort him when he walked through the door. I couldn’t be a part of his bad days as well as his good days if I had a different address. I had to give him space…even if I didn’t want to. “I’ll talk to you later.”
He didn’t respond. He lingered
on the phone but didn’t have anything to say.
“Bye.”
“Baby, I want you to come over. Both of you.”
It’d been so long since he’d last called me baby that it brought tears to my eyes. It was such an affectionate endearment, a warm blanket that wrapped around me so tightly. I preferred it over my real name, at least from his lips. I was glad he couldn’t see me so he wouldn’t have to see how red and puffy my face instantly became. “Good…because being with you is the only place I want to be.” The tears escaped in my voice and made it obvious I was crying.
He paused again. “Bring some extra stuff to leave here this time.”
It was hard to remember what my life was like before Andrew because he was so wonderful. But there was one thing I missed about my previous life, and that was having Hades whenever I wanted.
When I walked through the door, he was shirtless and beautiful, with the scruff around his jaw that I liked. The fire in the fireplace was roaring, so he looked like a sexy man on the cover of a romance book. I wanted to push his sweatpants over his narrow hips and take him then and there.
But I had a baby now.
I set the car seat on the bed then kissed him on the lips. “Hey.”
He slid his hand into my hair then kissed me again, as if that first embrace wasn’t good enough. He kissed me harder and devoured my lips, leaving me breathless before he pulled away. “That’s how I expect you to greet me.”
My hands moved up his chest, and I rested my forehead against his chin. “I’d love to.”
He kissed my forehead before he turned his attention on Andrew. He picked him up out of the car seat and held him with a single arm. “Hey, boy.” He kissed him on the forehead then came back to me.
There was nothing sexier than watching him hold our son like that.
After we talked about Andrew for a little bit, we moved to the couch and sat down. Hades played with Andrew for a while until he got tired. Then he just held him. He seemed to be in a much better mood than he had been on the phone earlier.