by Lindsey Hart
A younger boy, probably five or six, and an older girl who had the same blonde hair and blue eyes as well as the same slight build, came running up. The boy was panting while the girl looked at him scathingly.
“I’m sorry,” the boy panted. “That was an accident.”
“I told him not to throw it so far,” the girl, probably the boy’s sister, protested. “He kept getting out of control. I kept telling him that there are other people here and we have to be careful.”
Rayvn slowly picked up the Frisbee. Her smile was radiant and her whole face softened when she handed it back to the kids. The boy reached out and tentatively took the proffered toy.
“No harm done,” Rayvn said softly. “My partner in crime here happens to be a very good Frisbee blocker.” She winked at him, which served to tie his insides in a whole pile of useless knots.
“Next time, be more careful,” Shane muttered. “You could have taken her out. Given her a black eye or something. These things can do some damage.”
“Sorry,” the kids said again, at the same time. They cast one last look at Rayvn before they scurried off towards the tree-line where they’d come running out of.
Rayvn sent him a sidelong look. “That wasn’t very nice. They said they were sorry.”
“They really could have hurt you,” he protested, hating that he was trying to defend himself against kids. “They’re probably just brats disobeying what their parents told them. Kids nowadays never listen to anything. No one raises them to have any responsibility.”
“You sound like you’re eighty.”
“It’s true. They’re just useless lumps for the most part that are being raised by technology. I guess you can’t blame them since their parents choose to bring them up like that.”
“Really? That’s what you think about kids?”
He shrugged. “Who would want to bring a kid into the world anyway? Look at the state of it. It’s all bullshit now. I wouldn’t want a kid. I don’t want what everyone says you have to have in order to be happy. A wife and kids and all that. I’m happy how I am. I don’t need brats running around the house, never listening to anything and then they grow up to be useless.”
“So, you don’t want kids because you hate them or because you’re too irresponsible to handle the thought of caring for another life, or because you’re afraid of what would happen to them out there, in a world that is always changing and not always for the better?” Rayvn leaned back and pegged him with a hard look, like she really did want to know the answer to her question.
“I don’t know,” Shane shrugged. “Some of both I guess. I don’t want kids. Never have. Never will. I like being by myself. If that’s being irresponsible or immature, I guess I’m okay with that.”
“Why did you even agree to go up there and stand on that stage then, if you didn’t really want to be with anyone?” She pursed her lips and he got the message loud and clear that she was annoyed with him.
Shane ignored the warning bells that were going off in his head. All he could think about was how damn beautiful Rayvn looked with her eyes flashing and her lips pursed and the bright pink color that flushed her high cheekbones.
“My best friend and my brother might have convinced me,” he admitted. It was obviously the wrong thing to say, since the color staining Ravyn’s cheeks, anger, he realized, darkened to a deep red.
She slowly shook her head, eyes blazing. “I don’t know what’s worse. That I paid for this date or that you’re actually a child.”
She shoved to her knees like she was going to leave, but Shane was quicker. He actually reached out and set a hand on her shoulder to guide her back to sitting. His fingers grazed warm, petal soft bronzed skin and he shuddered violently at the contact. She shrugged away quickly, like she couldn’t bear the thought of his touch. He dropped his hand back to his side, since that was obviously the safest place for it. He’d touched a lot of women in a hell of a lot more private places than a shoulder before, but he couldn’t ever remember it affecting him that way that gentle graze just had. His head spun and he stared at Rayvn through a fog of disbelief.
“Why shouldn’t I go?” She glared at him. “You obviously have no desire to be here. I know this was basically a blind date, but I know even those sometimes produce good results. I had to start somewhere. I thought that this would be as good a place as any. And since the money was going to a good cause, I thought what the hell. Now I realize what a stupid thing it was to do.”
“Bet you wish you would have saved it and bid on someone else.”
“Yeah, actually I do.” She nodded emphatically. “Although, bidding on no one would have been way better than bidding on you.”
“Really?” He raised a brow. “Oh really? I thought you said you had to start somewhere. Doesn’t that mean you’re tired of spending time alone?”
“Maybe, but that’s kind of my point. At least the conversation would have been stimulating. Even if it was just with myself.”
Shane leaned back on his elbows. He crossed his ankles and let his feet dangle off the edge of the blanket. The long lush blades of grass tickled his skin right where his jeans ended. He glanced around the park, but the kids must have ventured off. There wasn’t really anyone else out. It was part of the reason he’d picked the place, because he thought it would be private and nice. He hadn’t even lit the candle he’d brought in the picnic basket. He had yet to crack the lid on the damn thing and his date was already going to hell.
It had been a really long time since he was on the opposite side of the spectrum. He was never the one to be overly interested. He was never the one to beg. He didn’t call people back the next day. He often bailed halfway through a date because he just couldn’t be bothered. He was never really even attracted to the women he went out with. He just went because he could. Because he was bored. Generally though, no, almost always, his dates were into him.
Not Rayvn though. Not the one woman I’m actually into. Figures. How fucking ironic.
“I’m sorry that you feel that way.” He feigned casualness and leaned back further. He pretended that he didn’t care. That, in his experience, usually served to make the women he actually did want to chase away that much more clingy.
Rayvn shook her head again. Dark tendrils of hair bounced around her face and fluttered around her shoulders. More than ever he itched to bury his fingers in those midnight tendrils. He ground his fingers into the blanket so hard he felt the earth below both layers of the quilt.
“No, you’re not. You’re not sorry at all.”
“What if I am?” He refused to back down. He could at least stand his ground and hope for a miracle.
“You’re not.”
“What if I said I wanted you to stay?”
“I can tell you don’t mean it.”
Fuck me. That would certainly never happen. Not with Rayvn. What am I supposed to do? Beg? “And if I did?”
“I still wouldn’t want to stay. I can tell we have nothing in common.”
“You can tell after a few minutes?” He didn’t like the way his insides tightened in what felt pretty damn close to panic.
“Believe me, I could tell after a second. I’m so over this.”
“I’ll give you your money back then.” He was beyond begging her to stay or trying to reason her into it. She’d somehow found a way under his armor and stabbed straight into his pride. Let her go. She’s not worth it.
Rayvn annoyingly shook her head again. She smiled at him, but it was a sad, hopeless, lost gesture. “Don’t bother. Like I said, it went to a good cause.” She stood quickly, and he made no move to stop her. “Have a good night, Shane. Have a good rest of your life. I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for.”
She walked off through the park, hips swaying gently, that glorious hair shining jet black under the setting sun.
He knew that was impossible. He’d never find what he was looking for because he had a horrible feeling it had just walked out on him for good.
&
nbsp; CHAPTER 5
Rayvn
“How was your date last night?”
“Yes, dish. Spill it all. We’ve been dying all morning to hear about it.”
Rayvn faced her two best friends. She was dearly hoping to avoid the early morning inquisition but knew it would be pretty much impossible, given that they all worked together.
She groaned and turned back to the laptop she’d just switched on. At the moment, doing inventory was a hell of a lot more inviting than having to explain the disaster of a date, if it could even be called a date, that she’d gone on the night before. The worst part of it was, she’d been so hopeful. So. Hopeful. She’d put herself out there for the first time in two years.
“Let’s just say that it turns out making eye contact with a guy and feeling some instant chemistry doesn’t always make for a good date. It didn’t actually mean anything. Nothing actually worked out at the date.”
Laney sighed wistfully, and Charlotte offered a small, sympathetic smile.
“We’re sorry we forced you into going,” Charlotte said.
“Yeah, we thought it would be good for you. It was just supposed to be a fun night. It wasn’t supposed to be a disaster. We didn’t even know that you’d bid on anyone. We were honestly just going for the dinner and the entertainment factor. The poster made it look so interesting.”
“It was,” Rayvn admitted. “The talent portion of the night and the food was amazing. Even the auction was hilarious. I’m sure that the other dates were way better than mine.”
“But you paid so much money!”
“Oh well. I’ll make it up in finding a few good picks.”
“You could refinish that sideboard that’s been sitting in the back. You’ve been putting it off because you have all these grand plans for it, but you could finish it and get it out the door. That would help. It would probably get you half of your money back.”
“I would have to split it three ways, so not even close.”
“We’d let you keep all the profit,” Laney said generously. “As a token of how sorry we are for getting you mixed up in all of this.”
“You didn’t get me mixed up in it,” Rayvn assured her. “I chose to go on that date all on my own. No one forced me to bid. I did that all on my own in some wild, spur of the moment, lack of judgment way. Anyway, the money went to charity. I don’t mind that. I haven’t donated anything in a long time. It actually felt good, date aside. I’ll just forget it ever happened.”
Charlotte leaned on the counter, blue eyes wide. “What was it about him that you didn’t like? Was he just an asshole the whole time?”
Rayvn forced a smile. “Yeah. Something like that. He was just really childish. He kept making all these comments about how he was basically happy being single and he was never going to change. We were at the park and these kids accidentally threw a Frisbee at us and he made it seem like it was the end of the world and then made all these horrible comments about how useless kids are and how he never wanted to have them.”
“Eeewww.” Laney turned up her nose. “That’s gross.”
“Yeah, like why even bother?” Charlotte chimed in.
“That’s what I thought. I pretty much didn’t even want to be there after that. I know it was just supposed to be a fun thing for charity and all that, but if he wasn’t even interested in dating or being not single or anything, then what was the point? I wish I would have known that ahead of time.”
“It’s always the good-looking ones who are the biggest dicks.” Charlotte tittered at Laney’s statement. “I didn’t say have the biggest dicks,” Laney insisted.
The three of them laughed. It was just about the only thing they could do, and it felt good. Real good.
“Seriously, it’s always the handsome ones who are the biggest assholes because they can get away with it,” Laney explained. “They have everything handed to them. Women fall all over them. They can have whatever they want, whenever they want it, so they take everything for granted. They cheat all the time, the good-looking ones. I’m sure they do.”
“Ugh,” Rayvn groaned. “You’re probably right. I should have steered away.”
“Except that you were looking at him like you’d been hit by lightning.” Rayvn shot Charlotte a look, but she didn’t back down. “You know I’m right. I don’t blame you though. He was the best-looking guy there.”
“He was gorgeous,” Laney agreed.
“He was single for a reason.” Rayvn rolled her eyes. “Aren’t all guys? I think if they’re over thirty and they haven’t been married or don’t have a kid, it’s a pretty good indication they should be steered away from.”
“Yeah. They haven’t even given it a try. Although, he wasn’t over thirty… maybe he still feels like he has a few years left to be an asshole. At any rate, I think that if they haven’t been in a relationship before, they obviously aren’t mature enough to.”
“How do you know he wasn’t in a relationship?” Laney asked.
“I don’t actually,” Rayvn had to admit. “It’s just a feeling I got from what he was saying. I could be wrong, but I definitely got the vibe that he didn’t want anything to do with that kind of a thing. He seemed like the type of guy who does all they can to steer away from that like it’s the plague. He didn’t seem mature enough to actually have been in a long term anything with anyone.”
“Gross,” Laney said. She stuck out her tongue.
“I’d prefer damaged goods over that,” Charlotte agreed.
“Oh, you guys.” Rayvn had to laugh again and it dispelled the tension she’d grappled with all night. She’d had the worst sleep, tossing and turning and reliving that horrible date. “You’re too good to me. It could have just been me. He could have been nice, and I was just overreacting because of…”
“You’ve been through hell. Alex was an asshole. You don’t deserve to be with another guy like that. The next guy you’re with should treat you like gold because that’s what you are.”
“You’re the nicest person I know,” Laney agreed. “Alex didn’t deserve you. He didn’t have any right to do what he did to you. You’re going to make a great mom one day,” she added compassionately.
Her friends’ remarks made Rayvn tear up. They both knew how hard she’d struggled after her daughter was still-born. She had less than a month to go. Just three more weeks. And then she’d stopped feeling the baby move. She’d gone to the hospital, sure it was nothing. Her entire world ended that day. Her hopes for a future, a family, a husband who would give her those things. Her marriage unraveled right along with the rest of her world. After getting a divorce, she’d stayed single, too afraid to take a chance. No, too wounded to ever dream of trying again.
Until Shane. Until she saw him up there on that damn stage and their eyes met and she felt something. Something in a heart that hadn’t felt anything but pain and cold. She felt hope, for the first time in years.
And he’d dashed it all in a matter of minutes.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. We’re always here for you. You can take the day off if you need to.”
“No, no, I’ll be fine.” Rayvn forced a smile. “It’s just thinking about- well- about everything that makes me sad.”
“I know, honey. One day. It’s coming. Just keep hanging onto hope. You’ll meet the right person and then you’ll have your rainbow baby.” Laney smiled reassuringly, even though her eyes teared up too.
“I don’t know what I would do without you guys,” Rayvn admitted. “You’ve been with me through everything.”
“Since grade ten,” Charlotte grinned. “You can’t get rid of us. We’re stuck like glue to you.”
“Maybe I’ll just up and decide to have a baby without anyone. Go and pay for it and raise it on my own. I don’t need a partner. I have you guys to help out.”
“You certainly do,” Charlotte said. She smiled, though it was clear she had misgivings. She was in a happy relationship. It was hard for her to imagine raising a child on he
r own or even wanting to do that with a partner. “You’re a heck of a lot braver than I am. If you want to do it, you’d be the best mom. That kid wouldn’t need a dad. They’d have the best of everything in you.”
“I’m just kidding. At least at the moment,” Rayvn assured her friends. “We’re still young, even though I feel so old all the time. Sometimes I can’t believe I’m twenty-nine and not fifty-nine.”
“You’ve been through a lot,” Laney said quietly. “Don’t worry, honey. It will happen. And until then, you have us. You and me, we are still in the singles only club. I’m still good for popcorn and ice cream and sappy movies whenever you want it.”
“Hey!” Charlotte cut in. “I can’t help that I met Ben and that we’re happy.”
“I’m kidding. We don’t have a single’s only club. But if we did, we’d still sneak you in. You’re part of the circle. It’s always been the three of us and it always will be, even if we’re all old and married one day.”
“I better start on this.” Rayvn indicated the inventory list she’d brought up on the laptop. “Or I’m never going to even get started and the order won’t get done and we’ll be screwed for next week. We won’t know what we need or what to find.”
“I never know what to find. I just pick what I like,” Charlotte laughed.
“You have good instincts, but there are teas and gifts and all that jazz that needs to be replaced. Looks like I’m stuck with it.”
“I can help you if you want,” Laney offered.
“No, thanks. I’ve got it. I need something to occupy my mind with anyway.”
Her friends nodded and wandered off to do their own jobs. There was cleaning, sorting, old orders to unpack, picks to find and arrange as well as furniture to unload and get staged or refinish. There were always a million things to do.
Which was good. Real good. At the moment, Rayvn needed to be busy so she wouldn’t think about little angels in heaven, failed marriages, bad dates and a far too handsome face she couldn’t erase from her mind.