by Lindsey Hart
She still wondered what his skin smelled like. Not his cologne, not his aftershave or shampoo or body wash or whatever else a man might put on. No, just him. Pathetic. He probably smells like an asshole. Because he is one.
She very nearly smiled at her own thoughts but controlled herself at the last second. She slammed on a composed mask as she approached. Shane had his hands in his pockets. His long blonde hair hung tangled around his shoulders like the wind was either strong outside or he hadn’t brushed it. Somehow it was soft and sexy looking. She’d never liked guys with long hair before but on him… those sun-kissed locks were just about the most glorious thing she’d ever encountered. Brutal. Just straight up brutal.
“Hey…” she led off with something normal since she didn’t want a confrontation. What she wanted was Shane out of her store as fast as she could make him leave. Liar. She didn’t like it at all that he’d come there. He wasn’t sorry. Guys like him were never sorry. And what if he is?
“Rayvn.”
The way he said her name, the syllables dripping off his tongue reverently like honey or wine, made something deep inside of her clench tight. A tingle spread through her limbs. She liked her name on his tongue. She liked the way his lips looked when he formed it, his mouth all silky smooth and sweet. Seriously? Get a grip.
“Yeah? What do you want?” She leaned against the counter and hid her hands below, so he couldn’t see how badly they trembled. She wanted to be mean. She wanted to tell him to take a hike, but her tongue remained glued in her mouth so that the words wouldn’t come out.
Because I don’t really want to say them.
“I… I wanted to- uh- to apologize.” Shane finally spat the words out.
Rayvn figured he didn’t apologize very often. It was the way he stumbled over the words and kept halting, like his tongue was glued down, that gave him away.
“Okay, so you’ve apologized.” She nailed him with a direct gaze which actually made him seem uncomfortable. He shifted from one foot to the other, like the floor was hot and he could feel it creeping through his shoes into the soles of his feet.
“It’s not just that.” Shane glanced around. There was no one behind him, not a sound in the store, but he acted like there was. “I feel bad. About last night. I didn’t mean to be an asshole. Sometimes I say stupid shit.”
“Oh really? I didn’t notice.”
He pointedly ignored her sarcasm. “I wanted to give you a second chance at that date. You deserve to be treated better than that, especially after you spent money on it.”
“The money isn’t the point and I know damn well I deserve better. I don’t see the point. Obviously, you don’t want what other people want. You said that yourself. You don’t want the whole family, relationship and kids thing, so what’s the point in going out again?”
“I don’t know… to have fun? Doesn’t anyone do that anymore?”
Shane seemed so pathetically confused it made Rayvn want to laugh. Almost. It wouldn’t have been a happy sound if she did. “Fun? I didn’t know that the point of dating was supposed to be fun.”
“Shouldn’t people have a good time with each other? If they hate each other right off the bat, why would they stay together?”
Rayvn pursed her lips. She didn’t want to concede the point. “I guess that’s true,” she admitted. “I guess the point, at first, should be to have a good time, for companionship or to meet new people or whatever, but it should be more than that later. And you don’t want that.”
Shane blinked. The blank look in his gorgeous eyes let her know just how confused he was. He had that shell-shocked look of someone who just realized something about themselves, possibly for the first time ever.
“Maybe I would be open to it if I met the right person.”
“Let me guess, all you’ve ever met is the wrong people?” Rayvn rolled her eyes. She let out a disgusted sigh.
“Maybe. I don’t know. There just never was anyone that I wanted that with, so I thought I didn’t want it. I’m not a shrink. I never really thought about it like that. That maybe they were all wrong.”
“Or maybe you’re all wrong,” Rayvn bit out icily. “You’re the common denominator.”
That seemed to shock him. She hadn’t thought her words would have any effect at all. She was more than a little surprised to see the way Shane’s broad, proud shoulders folded in on themselves. He winced and slowly nodded.
“Yeah, you’re right,” he muttered. He turned quickly, but not before she saw what she thought was a fine sheen of mist in his eyes.
Oh my god, is he actually going to cry? No way… men like Shane didn’t cry. No, they went through life like wrecking balls, getting whatever they wanted, when they wanted it. They did not cry, especially not when women like her, who were normally way too sweet and easily taken advantage of, pointed out the obvious.
“Wait,” she said sharply.
She didn’t move, other than the fact that her fingers dug into the edge of the counter. She couldn’t miss Shane’s harsh intake of breath or just how slowly he turned. He blinked hard before those cool blue eyes turned her way. She was immediately unnerved at the pain in them. Even if she’d imagined the moisture, it was obvious that what she’d said had struck a raw chord.
“Why?” he asked softly, far softer than she’d ever heard him speak. “It’s clear that you don’t want this. I won’t waste any more of your time. I’m sorry again.”
He turned and something that felt very close to panic welled annoyingly in Rayvn’s chest. She liked having the ball in her court, but horribly enough, he’d stolen it away from her by actually following through on his threat to leave. I don’t want him to go. She was horrified at herself. She wanted to let him leave, but she just couldn’t.
“Shane…” He stopped, but he didn’t turn around. “Alright. I’ll give you a chance to make it up to me. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe having a good time does mean something after all.”
Shane finally pivoted. His eyes shone with some kind of fire that came right from the core of him. It was unnerving and a little alarming in its intensity. “I’m sure that I’ll fuck it up again. My friend says it’s because I say too many stupid things. She knows me, but no one else does. She basically said I’m a hard pill to swallow.”
“And are you?”
“What?”
“Going to be a hard pill to swallow?”
“You mean again?”
“I guess so. Or could we actually have fun?”
“I don’t know. I guess if you turn your annoyance meter way down and stop caring about every crass remark anyone makes, we could probably have a good time.”
Rayvn realized that Shane really wasn’t trying to get under her skin at the moment. He was just far too blunt. Most people hid their darker, edgier, less respectable thoughts deep down and never said a thing. It was annoying, being around people who never said what they thought.
“I guess it’s an art I could learn to appreciate.”
Shane stared at her blankly. “What’s that?”
“Having people be brutally honest.”
“No one is. I guess I’m a rare breed.”
“I guess then, that I’m sorry too. I take things way too seriously sometimes. Uh- maybe I overreacted by walking out.”
“Definitely. You could have just told me to shut up and open the picnic basket. I had some goodies in there that might have changed your mind about me.”
“Why does that sound entirely too dirty?”
She was actually rewarded with a smile of those full lips. Lips that were far too full, beautiful and soft looking to belong on a guy. A gentle flush appeared on cheekbones which were also far too high and sharp and beautiful to be on a dude. She knew half the women in Houston would kill for cheekbones like that. She realized she was staring and gave herself a little mental shake.
“I was talking more about truffles and stuff. I went to this chocolate shop…”
“Really? Darn.”
&
nbsp; “I still have them. Though they’re probably not as fresh now since it’s been days... I was thinking about eating them all by myself. Drown out the feelings with food or whatever…”
“I think it’s eat your feelings. Let me take a guess and say you’re not familiar with it.”
“I’m more of a drown out the feelings kind of person. With copious amounts of alcohol.”
“I see. Do you drown out the feelings often?”
Shane’s smile grew, and she tried to steel herself against how dazzling it was. She tried not to notice how white and even his teeth were.
“Not often. I like to have a beer here and there though.”
“I guess that’s pretty harmless.”
“So, you’ll let me take you out again? Same place, same time?”
“No.” She shook her head slowly, then, seeing the crestfallen look on Shane’s face, realized she should clarify. “No, I mean, yes. I- uh- I know of a cool place. There’s a flower conservatory. It’s a small place. You can book it for up to an hour at a time for individuals on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday nights. Lots of people do indoor picnics in there since it’s pretty. They have butterflies and stuff.”
“Butterflies…”
“If you don’t want to it’s-”
“No. No, I want to. Really. Just give me the name of the place and I’ll book it. I’ll let you know what day and time, if you’re free those days.”
“I can be. Just let me know.”
Shane frowned suddenly. “You’re not just saying that? To try and pacify me to get me out of there and then you’ll never call me back?”
“What would be the purpose of that? I know you’d just show up here again.”
“You’re right. I would.”
Rayvn rolled her eyes. “Alright then. I guess I’m not going to bail. See you in a couple of days.”
“Should I text you? Or did you block my number?”
“Is that even a thing? I didn’t know you could do that. I’ll have to look into it for the future…” she smiled and when Shane realized she was kidding he smiled again. She was annoyed at how easily her heart skipped at the sight of that far too happy look on his face.
He gave her a brief nod before he turned and strode out of the store, happy and confident. Much happier than she imagined when he walked in.
The worst part of it all was that a few minutes later, when she was in the back unpacking the order again, she realized she was actually excited. That and the fact that there was no way that guys like Shane actually cried. He’d done that just to fool her into feeling sorry for him. And it worked. It worked far too damn well.
CHAPTER 8
Shane
He didn’t exactly know what it meant to be on his best behavior. He also didn’t know what the hell a floral conservatory was before he walked into the place.
Rayvn was already there, waiting for him. Her hair was curled into loose ringlets which trailed heavily down her back like a mass of thick black silk. She wore a simple yellow sundress that was somehow more beautiful than the finest gown. Her flip-flops actually managed to look dainty on her feet. He noticed right away that her toenails were painted yellow to match her dress. It was a pretty dress, the kind that was modest even though it was low cut, tight fitting in the waist and flared out to end well above the knee. It was short and hemmed with white scalloped lace, but nowhere near short enough to be indecent. Just short enough to show off gorgeous bronzed legs that were shapely and seemed to go on forever.
Don’t imagine then wrapped around your waist. Just fucking don’t.
Rayvn stood as soon as she saw him approach. She’d been perched on a small wooden bench. The place was tiny, just one room with winding paths throughout and several flowerbeds set into the path. Two benches, one at the front of the room and one near the back, completed the area.
The flowers, he had to admit, were impressive. He didn’t know the first thing about them, even though he did landscaping for a living. He normally laid sod or put in pools, planted trees or shrubs, or put the dirt and bricks down. The rest was for people to fill in after. He couldn’t remember ever having planted a flower in his life.
“Nice place.” He noticed Rayvn’s small smile and he couldn’t help the relentless pleasure that unfurled in his stomach. “You look… amazing.” He knew it was lame. He’d never complimented a woman before. He thought in whatever power struggle took place on dates, he would come out the loser if he gave anything away.
Rayvn grinned at him and a knowing glint flashed in her dark velvet eyes. “You look alright yourself. I like the whole t-shirt and jeans thing.”
“I don’t deviate from it generally. At work, I just wear a shittier version.”
“Hmm. Well. I must have had the special treatment at the park. I believe you actually had on a button up shirt.”
“I may own one or two. I dug one out.”
“And at the auction, you actually had a suit on.”
“That was rented. Nina- uh- she made me wear it.”
“Nina. She’s a nice girl.” Her tone made it clear that she couldn’t understand how Shane even knew her. “She comes into the store all the time to buy antiques. She was buying some for the tattoo shop when it opened.”
“She is very nice. She married my brother.”
“I kind of figured Chet was your brother. Even though you look nothing alike.”
“Thanks. I get that all the time. Must be the lack of tattoos.”
Rayvn actually blushed. “I didn’t mean… never mind.” She glanced around. “Do you like it here?” The blush faded when she was perfectly composed once again.
“I guess it’s alright. I know nothing about flowers, so I can’t tell if it’s a good place or not or anything about the vegetation.”
“I can’t believe you just used the word vegetation,” Nina giggled.
“Why?” Shane struggled to keep a straight face. “Do you think it’s too sophisticated for someone like me?”
“Yes.” She put a hand over her mouth and giggled some more. “Oh my god, yes.”
Shane rolled his eyes. He pretended to be wounded. “It’s nice to know that you think you’re on a date with a Neanderthal.”
“No offense, but I’ve heard right from the source that sometimes you act like one.”
“True, true.” Shane reached for the picnic basket he’d repacked. The thing was on its second use and he hoped it had better luck than the first time. He popped open the lid and passed out a wrapped up blue box.
Rayvn’s eyes widened. “What’s that?”
“Don’t worry. It won’t bite. And it certainly doesn’t have a ring inside.” He allowed a self-mocking smile.
“Right,” she said dryly as she took the box. “Because we both know you don’t believe in that.”
“No.” Shane kept his tone light though it suddenly felt like a massive weight had just landed on his chest. His lungs felt like they were compressing inward. He was amazed that when he spoke his voice was still normal. It wasn’t choked at all from the tight lack of air. “What’s the point of it?”
“The point?” Rayvn smiled slowly as she unwrapped the white ribbon that held the lid on the little turquoise box. “The point of marriage?”
“Yeah. The point of it all. It all just seems to end up in disaster, so I don’t see the point in doing it at all. I think people would be better off if they just didn’t buy into what society tells them they need to do.”
“Oh, so secretly you’re one of those counter-culture people.”
“No, not really. I like society as well as the next person, I guess. I put in my hours. I pay my taxes.”
“You actually pay taxes?” Rayvn lifted a brow.
She tried to hold a straight face, but then she had to laugh again. She was laughing a lot. She seemed to actually be enjoying herself. There was none of the grudging, straight-laced, aggravated, ready to leave as soon as she got there, date that Shane had expected would show up. Rayvn looked li
ke she’d forgotten all about their disastrous first date and was ready to give him a fresh start and a second chance. He’d never really met anyone like her, a person who could just move on like that first date had never even happened.
Either that or she was in a better mood. He hadn’t magically managed to press all of her buttons or at least, the worst ones, if Nina was to be believed. Rayvn laughing and joking, poking fun at him and even at herself, was something magical. She’s incredible. Those first few minutes only made him realize that she was even more enchanting than he’d ever imagined.
Shane snapped out of it when he realized he was staring at Rayvn like she was some exotic creature he’d never seen before in his life. She is.
“Yes, I pay taxes.” He realized he had to pick up the conversation somewhere. He watched intently as she worked the rest of the box open. She let out a sigh when she saw the handmade truffle inside.
“Is this one fresh? Or is it nearly a week old? Because even if it’s a week old, I still might consider eating it. It doesn’t look like it’s spoiled…”
“It’s fresh. What do you take me for?” Shane said dryly. “I’m not a complete goon.”
“You just act like one?”
“Guess so.”
Rayvn lifted the chocolate out of the box. She studied it carefully. “Oh my goodness. It’s almost too pretty to eat.” She used her nail to examine the tiny white rose at the top of the perfectly round, flawless, milk chocolate ball. “Wow. Yes, way too pretty to eat.”
“Really? I don’t think it is. I’d eat it for you.”
“No!” She moved it away carefully. “Not on your life. This is mine.” She examined him carefully. “Do you actually like chocolate?”
“Is there something wrong with that?”
“No. I’ve just never met a guy who has a sweet tooth. What else do you like?”
“Pretty much the whole works. Chocolate, cheesecake, cookies, pie…”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Hmm.” Rayvn stuck the truffle back in the box and set it beside her on the bench. She glanced off towards a huge flower, something red and yellow that was at least four feet tall, including the huge leafy fronds where it grew out of.