by Fallon Hart
“We’re not close. At all. This year, in fact, our relationship fell apart completely. I can’t go into why… I just … it didn’t happen that long ago and I’m still reeling. And my parents are gone… I have no family to share this with. And …” tears glistened in my eyes, “I once was married. I was widowed at nineteen.”
Amelia reached across the car and covered my hand with hers. “Griff mentioned that to Quentin too.”
Surprised, I whispered, “He did?”
She nodded. “Quentin thinks it’s a sore subject for Griff.”
Frowning, I shook my head. Why would it be a sore subject for Griff? Quentin must have been reading into things. “No. I never talk about Eric with Griff and he never asks. That’s… it’s not a sore subject for him.”
“For you then?”
How did I explain my feelings to Amelia without giving everything away? “I… I feel guilty.”
“In what way?”
“Eric and I were young and I loved him very much. When he died I thought there would never be anyone else.”
My friend squeezed my hand tight.
“But we were young,” I repeated, “And he never made me feel the way Griff does.” I flushed. “The sex…”
“The sex is better,” Amelia guessed, all matter-of-fact about it.
“Yes.” I squirmed. “I feel like those feelings betray Eric and that marrying Griff will be the ultimate betrayal.”
Just saying the words out loud lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. There. I said it. Condemn me, I thought. Condemn me. I deserved it.
“First off, moving on is not a betrayal,” Amelia offered the opposite of what I’d wished. “Did Eric love you?”
A tear slipped free. “So much.”
Sympathetic tears glistened in Amelia’s eyes. “Then what makes you think he would be happy if you were alone for the rest of your life? Don’t you think he’d want you to have someone who loved you?”
Yes, but Griff didn’t love me!
“What if it’s not love and it’s just passion?”
Amelia was silent for so long I thought she wasn’t going to answer.
Then she shocked the hell out of me.
“I know things between you and Griff are not what they seem.”
I tensed.
She gave me a knowing little smirk. “Quentin and I are not stupid… okay, perhaps we were at first. But when the truth came out about your real name and background… something just didn’t add up. Now the elopement.”
“Amelia…” my heart pounded in my chest. Griff would kill me if he found out Amelia and Quentin knew the truth.
“Look we don’t know exactly what’s going on but you’re conflicted for a reason. Obviously you and Griff want us to believe this is a straightforward love match and Quentin and I will abide by that. I’ll never mention it again.”
“If you know… why… why do you keep saying that he loves me? Don’t you understand why I’m upset? I’m marrying a man who doesn’t love me and in doing so betraying a man I promised myself to long ago.”
“No,” she said, curt. “Eric doesn’t get to keep your heart forever. You’re too young and have too much to give.”
“Griff said something similar,” I whispered.
“Of course he did. This may be some weird arrangement I don’t quite understand but I do understand one thing. I’ve known Griff a long time, Quentin has known him even longer, and not once have we seen him the way he is with you.”
“It’s all a lie.”
“It’s not, Scarlett. Griff isn’t exactly known for his acting skills. No man watches a woman the way he watches you without there being some kind of feeling involved.”
Oh there was feeling involved. “We are attracted to each other.”
“I gathered that,” she said. “The thing is, Griff’s usually very adept at hiding his attraction to a woman. When he was dating he never publicly showed affection or attraction toward his date. The difference with you is that he has no control over it. He wants you and he can’t hide it.”
The thought made my pulse race but his words from days before echoed in my head.
“My life is my work and I’m content with that. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
“Lust is not love.”
“No, I agree. But that doesn’t mean it won’t lead there.”
“I don’t want to love him, Amelia. That’s the point. I loved Eric.”
“Scarlett, you just said it yourself. You loved Eric. Loved. And that isn’t a crime. He was lucky to have your love while he was alive and I bet if he was here, he would agree with me.”
I glanced away. “Why are you being so kind to me?”
“Well someone needs to be… considering you’re very unkind to yourself.”
My head whipped back to her. “That’s not fair.”
“It is. You’re beating yourself up for moving on. Something that is entirely natural.”
“It’s not just about moving on. It’s whom I’m moving on with.” And there it was. The thing I hadn’t wanted to admit. My voice lowered to a whisper, “Amelia… sometimes he can be kind. And he’s intelligent and witty. I feel like he’s really listening when I talk. And of course I’d have to be blind not to find him physically attractive.” I frowned. “But he has also treated me badly. Been unkind. Cruel even. How can I feel this way about him?”
“Feel what way?” She pushed.
“Addicted,” I whispered. “Affected. When I’m near him, I feel like I’ve just woken up from the longest sleep. When I’m not with him, I feel so unbearably alone.”
The truth I’d wanted to hide rang out between us, making me feel naked and vulnerable.
Amelia heaved a sigh. “Griff is complicated. But there’s more kindness in him than unkindness. I believe that or Quentin wouldn’t hold him in such high esteem. And I believe he hasn’t treated you so well because he’s afraid of you. He’s afraid of what you make him feel.”
“You don’t know the truth, you don’t know everything—”
“And you don’t have to tell me. I wouldn’t make you betray him like that. Just admit to yourself that there’s something more between the two of you. Something worth exploring.”
“He doesn’t want that. And I wouldn’t try to force it.”
“Then don’t.” She shrugged. “Just let things play out naturally. He’ll come to you, Scarlett.”
“He won’t.”
She gave me a secretive little smile. “Think what you will. Just promise me that if he does come to you, you’ll give things with him a real chance. He needs you.”
“What about what I need?”
“You need someone to love you like Quentin loves me. If that’s not Griffin I’ll be the first to say so and I promise you, my sweet friend, I will do everything in my power to help you find it.”
Exhausted, emotional, and overwhelmingly relieved to have found someone to confide in, someone so kind, the tears broke free and I hastily swiped at them. “Why are you being so good to me?” I repeated.
“I have a great intuition about people. Always have. My father said it’s a gift and it was the only reason he eventually gave into the idea of me marrying Quentin. You are a good person, Scarlett, and I like you. Truthfully, I’ve never really had a close girlfriend and I think it would be nice to have someone I can trust to talk to. To have that, I need you to know that you can trust me in return.”
Impulsively, I hugged her.
We stayed like that a while until I released her, wiping away the last of my tears. “Speaking of, you should know I need to tell Griffin that you’ve figured out things aren’t quite what they seem between us.”
Amelia made a face. “Do you really have to? He’ll tell Quentin and my husband will be annoyed with me for opening my big mouth.”
I grimaced on her behalf. “I’m sorry. But without going into specifics there has been some deep mistrust between Griff and I lately and I don’t want to keep secrets from him.”
“Okay. Fair enough. Quentin always forgives me in the end.”
I smiled, understanding now why Quentin would forgive this woman anything. I think I was a little in love with her. “Thank you for being my friend, Amelia.”
She beamed. “It’s my pleasure, Scarlett.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
Griff was talking with a club member in the study on the ground floor. I stood in the doorway to catch his attention. The man he was speaking with saw me first and smiled. I watched Griff frown at whatever the man said and then look over at me. The frown cleared. He said something and then made his way over to me.
The study was filled with club members at this time but I didn’t see any of them.
Griff’s presence encapsulated the entire room.
I couldn’t tear my eyes off him.
Having admitted my feelings for him out loud meant no longer being able to deny my unbearable attraction to him.
“Anything amiss?” he asked when he reached me.
I winced sheepishly. “We need to talk. Again.”
His expression wiped clean as he placed a hand on my lower back and led me out of the room, across the foyer and into the elevator. We were silent the entire time, me overly aware of his hand on my body, and Griff probably wondering what the hell had happened now.
“Out with it,” he practically barked as soon as we hit the hallway of the penthouse.
I crossed my arms over my chest, not particularly happy about the way he’d spoken to me. “Before I tell you, I’m leading with ‘this isn’t my fault’. And don’t bark orders at me.”
He narrowed his eyes, studying my face. “Have you been crying?”
“No!” I spun around, guiltily hiding my expression as I searched out the mirror above the walnut art deco sideboard. Sure enough there were smudges of mascara at the corner of my eyes. “Amelia made me laugh a lot at the bridal store,” I lied, fixing the smudges.
“Fine. What do we need to talk about?” he asked this time in a neutral tone.
I spun back around and I told him what Amelia confided to me in her car.
Griff bit out a curse and walked away.
Confused I watched him stride down the hallway, wondering if that was the end of the conversation. But then he turned on his heel and marched back to me. “So they know we’re not really a love match but they don’t know why?”
“Yes.”
“Bloody hell.”
“I know this isn’t the point but I think we can trust them.”
He cut me an annoyed look. “I know I can trust them. But the less people who know about this, the better. Fuck.”
“So what now?”
Griff exhaled slowly. “I tell Quentin the truth. He might as well know.” He shot me a look I couldn’t quite work out. “It’ll make things easier actually. At the wedding. If Quentin and Amelia are aware of the truth we can be ourselves.”
“Well in the interest of not keeping any secrets from you, you should know Amelia has romantic aspirations for us anyway.”
To my surprise Griff gave a huff of laughter. “Of course she does.” He stood with his hands on his hips, staring at the floor.
“Griff?”
His eyes moved to me. “You’ve become friends then?”
“Me and Amelia? Yes. She’s been very kind to me.” My lips trembled with emotion and I turned away not wanting him to see it.
“Good,” he said. “I’m glad.”
Not understanding him at all, I just nodded, still unable to look at him.
“Thank you, Scarlett.”
Those words brought my head around without my permission. “For what?”
“For being honest with me. You didn’t have to tell me about Amelia.”
“Believe it or not it’s not in my nature to be dishonest.”
“I know that now. It’s not easy for me but… I’m learning to trust you.” My eyes widened at his words and Griff gave me a wry little smile. “I’ve shocked you.”
“Yes.” The word croaked out. I cleared my throat. “Yes.”
“It’s only fair. You shocked me first.”
I grinned at his teasing, delighted by it, and a warm moment passed between us.
A moment that was disrupted by the sound of his cell ringing in his jacket. He sighed and reached in for it. “You found a dress?”
“Yes.”
“Good. I need to take this. We’ll talk later.”
I nodded, disappointed that he was leaving. I watched him walk down the hall toward his office and then I turned away, worried he’d look over his shoulder and find me gazing longingly after him.
***
Griff had explained we’d spend Friday evening in Martha’s Vineyard at the inn. A private, quiet evening before the wedding. The wedding would take place in the garden of the inn the next afternoon and we’d have dinner there too. Sunday we were going to spend on the beach before we got a flight home that evening.
To distract myself from the butterflies, I worked out what clothes I’d be taking beyond my wedding dress and tried not to overthink the sexy lingerie I picked out too. Amelia had made me choose a trousseau at the bridal store. I had no idea what that was until Amelia explained it was sexy bridal lingerie and nightwear.
I wouldn’t need it of course.
It was all about keeping up appearances… you know, in case anyone decided to look in my luggage.
At least that’s what I kept telling myself.
Once that was done I wandered downstairs to the club library. The club had just opened so there was hardly any members in and none in the library. The room was lined wall-to-wall with bookcases, with the exception of the central wall that housed a fire. It was near summer’s end and it was still too warm for the fire to be lit. I was excited about using this room on cooler days when the club was yet to open. It would be my own private, cozy sanctuary.
Trailing my hands along the titles, I searched for something that might strike my fancy. Griff still hadn’t taken my advice and added more commercial fiction to the collection but I’d work on him.
I was leafing through a dusty edition of A Tale of Two Cities when a throat cleared to my right.
I gave a little jolt of surprise to see a man leaning against a bookcase studying me quizzically. I hadn’t even heard him enter the room.
“Hello.”
His mouth curled up at the corner. “Hey.”
I shut the book and returned it to the shelf. Putting the stranger in his mid-thirties I wondered who he was. A few inches taller than me he was lean and wiry in an athletic way, but the rimless glasses he wore gave him a nerdy edge. But only an edge. His strong, stubbled jawline and lazy smile took him straight to hotville.
He had sandy blonde hair, not unlike Eric’s, and bright blue eyes.
“Are you a member?”
The man pushed off the bookcase and held out a hand. “Bryce McKellan.”
The name sounded familiar. I shook his hand. “Scarlett Jennings.”
“I thought as much.” His lazy smile suddenly seemed less lazy and more uneasy. “I’m new and not quite sure what to do with myself. So obviously I followed the books.”
Relaxing in the presence of an obviously fellow bookworm I chuckled. “Books always put me at ease too.”
“Exactly.” He beamed. “They make anywhere feel like home.”
“Yes… so you’re new to the club?”
Bryce nodded. “Honestly, I’m a kid from Detroit that just happened to be good with computers. Finding myself a member of an exclusive gambling club for the east coast elite is a little weird. It’s not really my thing.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, intrigued. “So why join?”
“Networking,” he answered immediately. “The only way to get further in business is to make connections. You know what they say, it’s not what you know but who you know.”
“Right.” I studied him closely. “Your name is familiar. How do I know you?”
“I created Page One�
��the online book site.”
My eyes grew round with shock and delight. “No way!”
Bryce laughed. “Yeah, way.”
Page One was the biggest online community for book lovers. They had over sixteen million members. I was practically on it every day. “I’m a librarian. I mean, I’m an actual librarian, but I’m also a Page One Librarian. I got granted access to Librarian Level last year and I have to admit I felt a little drunk on the power.”
Oh my God, I was fangirling.
Bryce laughed harder.
I blushed. “I’m sorry. I’m kind of a book nerd.”
He shook his head, his blue eyes glittering in the light. “Don’t be sorry. I am too.”
“I can’t believe you’re a member here. I feel like I just met royalty.”
Bryce let out a bark of laughter. “You’re killing me. Surely there are more exciting members than me.”
Grinning, I shrugged and then whispered, “Creator of awesome book community wins out over stuffy Boston society any day.”
“Well I’m flattered.”
“So you must have done well for yourself then,” I said, feeling completely at ease in his company.
He looked away and shrugged. “Yeah, I’ve done okay. I just sold the site.” He flicked me a look. “It hasn’t gone public yet.”
“I can keep a secret.”
“Thanks. Anyway, I have all this money and all these business ideas but…”
“You need the connections, too.”
“Yeah.”
“Shouldn’t you be out there instead of in here with me?” I teased.
He tapped his chin in thought. “Hmm. Go out there and try to make friends with a bunch of people who think they’re better than I am or stay in here with a beautiful woman who loves books as much as I do? Tough choice.”
Blushing at his compliment I turned toward the books. “So you’re looking for something to read before working yourself up to the networking part?”
“Pretty much.”
“Anything specific?”
“Ever the helpful librarian, huh?”
I shrugged. “Occupational hazard.”
“Well I’m looking for my favorite book.”
“Which is?”
“Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez.”