by M. Wiklund
"It's about not listening to other people," Elena said. "Once you start doing what other people tell you, you end up losing yourself. What you want, who you are. I can't do that." Clenching her fists in the cloth of the wrap, she repeated, "I can't. Even if it makes me lazy and useless to others."
"I don't think of you as lazy and useless."
"You don't know me well, princess."
Call me Galina, Galina thought. Things had been going well.
"Still, I suppose you are kind," Elena said. "I will miss you, when I am back in the village."
Galina wanted to wrap her arms around Elena again, kiss her again, hold her close again until their heat mingled, until their bodies were too entangled to tell the difference. But she could not do it. The impulse from earlier was gone, and all that was left in her was the usual tug-of-war between melancholy and fierce, fierce desire.
She wanted Elena. Physically, spiritually, desperately. Permanently, and not just for a couple hours more.
Impossible. Elena could not be kept here, and her father had demanded an answer tomorrow, and Galina could not keep a lover in any case, not a peasant with a propensity to insolence and sloth.
And yet. If she only could.
She licked her lips. "Elena, you must stay the night."
"Oh? But I thought our time was up today."
"I was given three nights as well. You need not leave until tomorrow."
"Oh? And what kind of persuasion will you employ in the nighttime? You can't take me to bed." Elena hmphed.
Galina touched her gently on the back. "Please. Stay until I have given my report to the king tomorrow. I will tell him I could learn nothing. But until I am done, please do not leave."
"You want me around so the king can threaten me with violence again."
"I will protect you," Galina said. "I swear."
Elena shook her head. "You do everything your father says." Then she smiled slightly, sadly. "I will stay until you have spoken to him. But then I must leave, Galina. I am not meant for this fine court."
*~*~*
Galina approached her father the next day in court. He sat on his throne, the one reserved for hearing pleas from his people. But there were no people here to see him today. Only Galina, who walked in alone. Elena, still sitting on a stove, was still in her chamber.
"Have you learned anything from the peasant witch, my daughter?" the king asked.
Galina said, "I have learned much."
"And what is the source of her magic? Or would you rather tell me in private," the king added, glancing at the dignitaries and nobles sitting in audience.
Galina shook her head. "I learned nothing about her magic. Only about her character."
The king stared at her.
Galina swallowed.
Throughout the night, she had thought about Elena's departure. She thought about her father's demands. And she thought about what Elena had said.
"Once you start doing what other people tell you, you end up losing yourself. What you want, who you are."
"You do everything your father says."
She had learned as much about herself as she had about Elena. But she would be brief.
"I learned that Elena is a woman of great independence and intelligence," Galina said. "Her character is worthy of her abilities in many ways, and worthy of more than her status as a peasant of our country."
All eyes in the court were on her. She had said nothing scandalous yet. But perhaps they could sense it in her stance, straighter than usual, or her thinned lips. And if they sensed a new spirit in her, she hoped that they were right.
"I have learned that she is the kind of woman I respect above all others," she said. "Above anyone I have met before. And she is the person I want to marry."
Chapter Five
"Excuse me," Elena said.
They were perched on the stove again, just the two of them. Galina had returned after about an hour long discussion with her father in front of the entire court, which in her opinion had gone moderately well, considering the topic.
"Yes, Elena?"
"You said you wanted to marry me."
"Yes. Then my father stared at me and told me my joke was improper for this sort of occasion, and I told him I wasn't joking. Then he said spending too much time with a witch had turned my brain. I told him I was perfectly rational. We argued a lot after that." Galina shrugged.
Elena said, "Well, I can only imagine. You said you wanted to marry a commoner. I suppose it was a good way to start a fight, if that's what you were looking for."
Galina said, "No. I said that because I want to marry you."
Now Elena could no longer hold back. She gaped. After a long minute, though, she closed her mouth, pressing her lips together.
"He consented to discussing the matter," Galina said. "After I told him that as my wife you would be more likely to use your magic for the kingdom's benefit, or perhaps reveal its source."
Elena stiffened. Until now she had been leaning towards Galina, intent on catching every detail of the confrontation. Now she leaned back and frowned coldly. "So this is why you were kissing me yesterday. You thought that I would refuse you my secrets and if you could seduce me I might bend…but this is taking it too far, Galina."
"No." Galina shook her head. A little hair fell out from the front of her crested headdress. "I said that so my father would listen. Elena, I don't care if you ever tell me the source of your magic. That's not why I want you. I said I wanted to marry you because I do want to marry you. Because…" She flushed. "I don't want you to leave. Ever."
She took Elena's hand. Elena snatched it back.
"You expect me to believe the princess of the country is in love with me? A lazy, stupid peasant?"
"I don't think you're stupid."
"No, you think I'm a scheming magician and you want to ensnare me."
"I don't think that either. I think you're stubborn but friendly. And," Galina said with a tentative smile, "Very, very beautiful."
Elena turned her head away. She stared across the room. "You are cruel, princess."
"Galina. You ought to call a woman by her name once she's proposed to you. Or at least once she's kissed you…Elena, there is no rank between us."
"Of course there's rank. Have you lost your mind?"
"I've lost my common sense," Galina said. "You stole it, and you gave me life instead."
The words sounded foolish coming out. She had thought many such things the night before, and they had sounded poetic and beautiful and true. No, she should not live a life solely governed by her father, and no, she should not marry some boring man or woman who would never fill her with the same need or the same peace as the woman sitting next to her now. She should seize what she wanted, be the person she sometimes, in her wilder hours, wanted to be.
But Elena still would not look at her. And maybe the person she wanted to be in her wilder hours was not the person she really was or a person she ever could be.
Elena finally spoke. "I will tell you the truth about where I received my magical abilities." Even with such a simple phrase her voice tinged with irony. "And when I have done so, you must tell me the truth too: whether you want to marry me as you say, or whether this is just a ploy. Only if you lie to me, Galina, I…" She swallowed and did not finish her sentence.
"I can tell you the truth now. I want you and I want you in my life, now and forever. I do not care about magic. That has only ever been my father's concern—who needs such things? Life continues without them."
But Elena ignored her. Regardless, she began the story.
*~*~*
There came a time when Elena's brothers went away to trade in the city for a while. After they left, Marfa and Grusha became more demanding, for while Elena's parents had made Andrey and Illarion promise to always treat her well and never make her work, Marfa and Grusha had never made any such promise. They began to harp on Elena about cleaning and cooking and chopping wood and feeding animals and
all sorts of womanly work. "Elena," they would say time and time again, "it was all very well for you to sit on the stove and play games while your brothers were here, but now they are gone and the workload is much harder. You have some muscle on you, though God knows how you got it. Go chop us some wood, now, or churn the butter so that we can do our other chores."
For a while Elena resisted. But they harassed her more and more. Finally one night she fought with Marfa for three hours and Marfa finally ran out of the room crying. And while until now Elena had only ever seen her pleading as manipulation, the tears looked sincere. Grusha cast an angry look at Elena and ran after Marfa, cursing under her breath.
Elena still would have sat on her stove even then and not helped. Her mother had cried in the past for her misdeeds, and it had never swayed her. But Grusha returned soon after, and she was angry, angrier than Elena had ever seen her before.
"Elena," she said, "you are a blemish on a fine household and a fine family. You bring shame to all of us with your laziness and disrespect. Now, you will either get down from the stove and draw us some water from the stream, or I will talk to your brothers when I return. They said they would bring you back pretty dresses and a red coat, didn't they? Well, if you don't help with just this simple task, I will make sure your pretty dresses get sold to the tailor in town for spare fabric!"
It was a hollow sort of threat. Elena's brothers would never have turned against her so easily, not even for the sake of their wives. Still, Elena did not have many fancy things to risk so carelessly. And she did not like to be in the same house as Grusha when Grusha was in such a temper. So reluctantly she caved, and for the first time in years she got off the stove with the intent of doing some good for the household, or at least getting Grusha off her back. Perhaps she might win for herself a reprieve. It hurt her pride to obey her sister-in-law even in such a small thing, but it might be better to pick her battles until her brothers returned.
At the river she began to talk to herself. And since she had been so mistreated, she complained. To the air, the sky, the ice, and all nature she cried out her grudge. That Grusha and Marfa demanded she do labor she did not wish to do. That the world was full of such labor and men and women could not exist without it. It was unjust, and she felt reduced in being forced to lower herself this far. She hollered into the empty air, and no one responded.
So she chopped open the ice over the stream with Illarion's axe, plunged the bucket down, and after a moment to let it fill, hauled it back up again.
However, the bucket was not filled with only water as she had expected. Instead, there was a fish in it. It was a pike, not a huge one but still of decent size, large enough to be dinner for three. And for a moment she was happy, thinking what a good dinner she might get out of it. It would certainly appease Marfa and Grusha, too, and it would not be a chore they had requested. A surprise, provided of Elena's own volition. No doubt it would be appreciated. She smiled, thinking of how she would tell them about her catch.
But then the fish spoke.
The common tongue, too—comprehensible easily, and not intimidating like the voice of an angel or a demon. It's voice was like a human's, only a bit bubblier and very smooth. And the first thing it said to her was, "Foolish Elena, you must put me back in the water."
Elena almost dropped the bucket out of fear. But having recovered herself she asked, "How do you know my name, good sir? Or perhaps not so good, since you call me foolish to my face. You should be nicer, seeing as I hold your life in my hands."
The pike said, "One hears many things when one listens. The townsfolk all say you are very foolish—I knew it had to be you they spoke about when I heard your voice, moaning about your sisters-in-law. Marfa and Grusha have also come down to this stream, though I think you do not give them enough credit. They are good women, very industrious…"
"Industry is all they're good for," Elena interrupted. She was annoyed to hear such talk from a fish. Hearing it from every person in the village was already enough. "All they like is hard work and scolding me. May the Lord save me from women like that! If you were listening to me you know they want to work me to the bone. They would destroy me."
"That is not what others coming to the river have said," the fish said. "But I recognize you are a woman who goes her own way, so I will not question you further. I have only a simple request, which is that you let me back into the river."
"The way you talk about me I'm tempted to take you home and eat you even if you do talk. You like Marfa and Grusha, after all, so you should be glad to feed them."
"Please. I would rather not be eaten." The fish swam in a circle, slowly. "I cannot take back what I said, for it was only the truth, and I am sorry if it insulted you. However, if you put me back in the water I can grant you a gift that will be more than an equal trade."
"An equal trade for your life?"
"At least equal to a meal…but I believe you will find it far more useful. I can lend to you such powers that you will be able to move objects and command them according to your will. You would never have to work again."
Elena hemmed and hawed at first because who would believe such a thing? But the fish was very persuasive. And he told Elena how to use the powers: she would only have to command an object, saying "By the pike's command and my desire, do this and that." It was much too tempting a bargain to pass up. So she dropped the pike back into the stream, and he bid her farewell.
After that Elena hesitated for quite a while. Part of her felt foolish, wondering whether it was even possible that the fish had spoken the truth and actually given her the power of which he spoke. But eventually she got up the courage, and she said to her bucket, "By the pike's command and my desire, walk back to the house without spilling yourself." And before her eyes, it did that very thing.
*~*~*
"So that's how I got my magical powers. They aren't really mine at all," Elena said. "And there was nothing clever about how I got them. Pure luck. Can't be replicated, so you and the king are out of luck. And I don't really deserve them either, so you can stop thinking I'm all that."
"A talking fish," Galina said. "Really? That must have been a sight."
"It was a surprise, I suppose. But he looked like any other fish. Anyhow, I don't think your father would be able to find him or bargain with him. As I said, purely a happenstance."
"I don't care about that."
"I won't use my powers for you either," Elena said. "I don't care if you are royalty. I'm no one's tool—even if I marry you that will remain true."
Galina was glad to hear that she was at least considering it as an option now. She said, "I don't need you to use your magic for the country, or work with me. Magic I have never cared for. And I can rule alone, if even the demands of rank are too much." It was true that a princess consort—Elena's most likely title, if this all worked out—had manifold responsibilities. But Elena still wouldn't have to do as much diplomatic work as Galina. Galina could try to spare her the burden and take over official matters herself, leaving Elena as the beautiful wife who existed mostly for entertainment.
That was probably the future her would-be husbands had planned for Galina herself. She felt a twinge of conscience at that, but pushed it aside. It wasn't like Elena would want to do the work of ruling—she had said she did not want to be a tool, or do any work, even as a queen's wife.
Elena sighed. "You are an odd one. I do not understand why you would want me."
"There is no one else that I want more."
"Really I do not think you have thought this through."
"You can leave on your stove if you want," Galina said. It came out sharper than she intended. It was a genuine offer—she didn't want Elena to feel trapped—but still, Elena's hesitations felt insulting. Most people in the court, no, in the kingdom, would have killed to win Galina's hand. Many people had already sacrificed for that prize. But apparently Elena found the idea of marrying a princess insufferable.
Elena said, "Why
do you think you are in love with me?"
Did she really have to put it into words?
Galina said, "You are attractive to me. Physically, I'm sure you know you are beautiful. And…" She hesitated. How did she describe what really attracted her to Elena? The feeling of freedom Elena had about her, the sense Galina got that whatever she said, however she acted towards Galina, was genuine, not influenced by courtly diplomacy in the least and barely inhibited by common sense.
And the feeling that for the first time in years, someone was seeing her not just as a princess, not just as the king's daughter or an object to be owned, but as a person. As a friend.
How could she put that into words? She couldn't.
"I enjoy your company," she said instead. "You're…interesting. Not like the people here." She turned her head away. "You can leave if you want. I would not have you feel obligated…"
Elena touched her shoulder. And when she turned, their eyes met.
"You're a mad princess," Elena said. But her lips curved into a smile. "I suppose I wouldn't mind sticking around for some more madness."
Galina's cheeks burned. She had been prepared to make her arguments to Elena as to the king. But she had not prepared for success. And now, having heard Elena's acceptance, she did not know what to do with it.
She kissed Elena on the lips. And she told her about the rest of the meeting with the king.
He had agreed to consider the match. He had not yet accepted it, so the betrothal was still on shaky ground, especially since Elena had not even spoken about it yet. But he had said that on that very day he would meet with Elena and Galina for a private dinner, and they would discuss possibilities for the future in all seriousness.
"He will try to talk us out of it, of course. You will have to be stubborn. I know you can do that."
Elena laughed.
"You must also try to be dignified and polite, though. And above all impressive and diplomatic. Witty, too, if you can—at court it is important to be refined in speech. Father wants an impressive daughter- or son-in-law, and if he is not satisfied with you he will try to refuse you. I would protest, and I think I could sway him, but you must make a good impression."