“Better than good. We got married when I was a sophomore in college. She had just finished high school. She was ready to get married, she said, but she wanted us to graduate without any student loan debt, so she waited tables the whole time, paid the rent, my tuition, and the little bit of food we could afford.”
Her throat went dry as she swallowed. Talk about a hard act to follow. “There aren’t too many young women who are that dedicated. Most of us want our own careers.”
“Oh, she wanted a career, all right. The one thing she wanted out of life was to be somebody’s mother. She said that was her dream career. She never got it, though.” His eyes deepened to pools of ebony. Just as P. J. was kicking herself for bringing up Annie and putting a damper on their conversation, Kyle focused on P. J. and strangely, started to smile. “It’s okay,” he said wistfully. “I have wonderful memories of our time together. I have no regrets. I have faith that I’ll be with her again.”
P. J.’s eyes misted. “I’m sure you will.” Was it super shallow to be jealous of a dead woman? A woman who’d earned the love of a good man. That’s what P. J. wanted—to be loved like that. The practical side of her brain took over. Of course, that couldn’t happen with Kyle, with him being the son of her patient. Still, she wanted to experience that kind of love sometime, with someone. She blinked, realizing that Kyle was still talking.
“In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy life.” He scraped the last of his dinner from his plate. “How was the mango chicken?” he asked.
P. J. wiped her mouth with a napkin. “You’re right. It was incredible.” The food was almost as good as the company, she added silently.
Kyle glanced out the window. The sun had set while they were eating. The street was packed with cars, countless people streaming out of downtown Birmingham’s towering office buildings and heading for the suburbs. “I hate to break this up, but I’d better get going. I have to be back at your hospital by seven in the morning for the start of the audit. They’ll expect me to be there to make sure all the parts work together.”
“Yeah, well, I have to do my morning rounds before I scrub in for a seven o’clock operation. Got you beat,” she winked.
“I think I’ll stick with my banker’s hours and leave the doctor’s schedule to you people who actually want it.” He called the waitress over for their check. Before they left, he asked, “P. J., this has been fun. Could we do it again soon?”
Her heart leapt with anticipation. Somehow, she managed to keep her voice even. “Sure. I’ll have to work around my call schedule, but I’d like to see you again too.”
They walked back up the sidewalk. Traffic was at a standstill, the taillights an endless ruby necklace off to their right, and the headlights, a string of pearls extending down the road to their left. A sudden breeze shot down P. J.’s collar as she shivered. “Oosh! That was cold. With the sunshine today, I thought it was warmer than it actually is.” She slipped her hand through Kyle’s elbow and pulled him close. Her cells swirled with a guilty pleasure. It’s just to keep warm, she told herself. She glanced at the travel agency on the corner, with its posters in the windows. She nodded toward one of them that featured a hotel with boardwalks extending from the palm-lined beach to luxurious huts built above the water. “I wish I were there right now instead of here.”
“That would be incredible.” The signal indicated it was their turn to cross the street. They walked briskly in front of the impatient drivers waiting for the pedestrians to clear out of the crosswalk. Shortly, Kyle delivered her to the warmth of the hospital’s lobby. “You’re going home tonight, right?” he asked.
She nodded. “My car’s in student parking out back. Where did you park?”
“In the parking garage. I thought I’d be on the ground level because I got here early, but a lot of other people must have had the same idea. I’m on three-north.”
“Hmm. Well, thanks for a nice dinner, Mr. Thornton.”
“Kyle,” he corrected.
“Kyle,” she murmured softly as their eyes met. She liked the hum of attraction simmering between them. “You’ll be around tomorrow, right?” She didn’t want to sound overeager, but she was already thinking of when she could see him again … and she’d not yet left his side.
“Sure will.”
“Maybe I’ll drop in and say hi between cases,” she said casually. With all the hospital employees and visitors in the lobby, nothing more than that felt appropriate.
“That’d be great. See you then.”
“See you.” She turned and walked past the elevators to go to the stairs. As she rounded the corner, she glanced back to the lobby. He was still standing there, watching her go. When he saw that she’d spotted him, he looked down at his shoes shyly, spun around and strode toward the parking garage.
5
P. J. lay on her back deep in contemplation. The projector clock on her bedside table beamed the time up to the ceiling. Fourteen minutes past midnight. She had to quit worrying. She had to get up in less than five hours, and someone’s life was going to be in her hands less than two hours after that. She couldn’t be sleepy in the middle of an operation.
What was she going to do? Kyle Thornton was … well, he was simply … amazing, no other way to put it. He was boyish for the most part, and his deeply wounded heart made him all the more likable. He was easy to talk to. It wasn’t like talking to her colleagues. The few who were still single all seemed to try and one-up each other every chance they got. Everybody wanted to have the hardest patients, the most puzzling case, the most incredible saves. They were openly jealous of P. J.’s position as the only transplant fellow in her year and getting to work so closely with Dr. Stone.
She’d only gone out with Kyle once, and it wasn’t even a real date. It was just a quick bite for two hungry people to get to know each other. Conflicting emotions tumbled inside of her. It wasn’t smart to be so enamored with Kyle. There was a firm policy at the school, the medical center, and the state licensing board that frowned upon relationships between doctors and patients’ family members. She had to cut this off before it went somewhere she’d later regret. A gloomy coldness seeped through her.
Why did Kyle have to be so dang attractive? Why couldn’t he have ugly eyes or pimply skin or big ears? Why did his hair have to be so lush and perfect? Why did he have to be so smart and so with it, and yet still have that small-town, boyish charm?
No. She couldn’t think this way. She had to get things between them back to a professional level. She couldn’t go out with him on a real date, couldn’t even grab a quick bite to eat with him again. P. J. had worked too long and too hard on her career to throw it all away.
If Kyle were someone she’d met at a ball game or at church or someplace else it would have been different, but he was part of her work life, and that’s where he would need to remain.
But the female nurses had been encouraging. They commented to P. J. that she should get to know him. He was a fine slice of cheesecake, Nellie had remarked. And judging from her portly figure, P. J. was confident that Nellie knew her cheesecake. The thought made her giggle, but she quickly turned serious. There must be no cheesecake for her. She turned onto her side and finally went to sleep.
When the alarm rang, P. J. sat up on the side of the bed and cleared her head. She quickly showered and dressed. A picture of Kyle appeared in her mind as she pushed it out. She applied light makeup, knowing that whatever she put on would just get messed up by her surgical mask. Still, a girl never wants a man to see her with no makeup at all. Not that Kyle would be seeing her today, nor would anyone else who mattered. She mentally slapped herself. Quit thinking about Kyle! Act like the professional you’ve worked so hard to become.
Once at work, P. J. briefly checked on each of her patients and went down to the operating room. In the holding area she greeted her first patient. “Mr. Samuelson, hi. Are you ready for this?”
He gave her a nervous smile. “Does it really matter if I’m ready?�
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She offered a reassuring smile. “Good point, sir. That aneurysm in your chest is ready whether you are or not. Every day we don’t fix it could be the day it decides to burst. We have to do this, and we have to do it now.”
Only then did P. J. spot the petite elderly lady seated in a chair next to Mr. Samuelson’s head, an anxious look on her face. P. J. walked around the stretcher and squatted down beside the woman. She put an arm across the back of the chair so her hand rested on the woman’s shoulder. “Mrs. Samuelson, we’re going to do everything we can for your husband. Dr. Stone is the best thoracic surgeon in Alabama. If I had to have my husband get this operation, I’d want Stone to do it.”
Mrs. Samuelson nodded weakly and gave a thin smile. “We’ve been married fifty-four years. Today’s actually our anniversary.” She choked up. “I don’t want it to be my widow day.”
P. J. leaned forward and embraced the woman. “I don’t want it to be either,” she whispered into her ear. She stood up again. “Like we talked about, this surgery isn’t free of risks. Not doing it though, is a guarantee of disaster. Still, if I weren’t confident, I wouldn’t do it. Try not to worry.”
The woman looked up at P. J. with misty eyes. “Are you married, Doctor?”
“No, I’m not.”
“If you were, you wouldn’t tell me not to worry.”
P. J. had no comeback for that. She thought of Kyle and the pain that he’d felt over losing Annie. She nodded silently, patted Mrs. Samuelson’s hand, and walked down the hall to the scrub sinks to start her preparation for the operation. She offered a silent prayer that she’d be able to do her best for the Samuelsons.
She managed to stay focused through the procedure. When it was finished, Dr. Stone stepped back. “Good work, team. I think we managed to fix this one. I’m going out to talk to his wife.”
“Would it be okay if I did that?” P. J. asked.
Dr. Stone’s eyes, all that she could see over his mask, looked surprised. The charge nurse huffed at the young surgeon’s impudence. “Of course. I’ll close his chest and you go give the report to Mrs. Samuelson.”
“Thank you, sir.” P. J. stepped to the doorway, where a scrub nurse helped her pull off her gloves and gown. She lowered her mask as she stepped out the door. Her stomach grumbled loudly. It had been a long operation. When she reached the family waiting room, she easily spotted the slight, gray-haired lady sitting alone in the corner. She slid into a chair across from her. When she touched the woman’s hands, her eyes flew open and surprise registered on her face.
“Sorry to startle you, Mrs. Samuelson. Were you sleeping?”
She shook her head. “Praying.” She took a breath. “How is he?”
P. J. nodded. Her red curls, matted from being confined in the surgical cap, bounced a little. “He’s amazing. He needs to spend an hour or so in the recovery room and then he’ll go up to surgical ICU. He’ll be awake before he goes there, and you’ll be able to see him. The operation was a success. I think he has a lot of life ahead of him.”
Mrs. Samuelson burst into tears. P. J. wrapped her arms around her, feeling a rise of emotion in her chest. After a moment she let go and they sat back. “Where do I go?”
“Why don’t you go to the snack bar and get a bite to eat while he’s in recovery? That way, you won’t have to leave his side once he’s upstairs.”
“That’s a good idea,” she said, nodding. “Where is it?”
“Out the door there, down the hall, and turn left before the elevators. You’ll see signs on the wall from there.”
P. J. watched her leave. Fifty-four years of marriage. How wonderful it must be, to be able to say that. What a wonderful anniversary present she and Dr. Stone, through the grace of God, had given them today.
P. J. walked the other direction down the hall and entered the administration office. The audit would have been well underway by this time. She hesitated in the foyer until the receptionist kindly looked up and asked, “Can I help you, Dr. Bandy?”
She started to answer but was interrupted when the door to the conference room opened and Kyle rushed out. He nearly ran over her in his haste. His arm accidentally went around her waist, but he pulled it back right away. “Oh, hi, Doc,” was all he said as he brushed by her. She didn’t have time to answer before he practically ran out the door.
Oh, hi? That was it? He obviously didn’t have the same feelings for her that she thought she was having for him. For a brief moment she felt like she should try to follow him and get his attention, but her mature side took over right away. No, if he wasn’t feeling it, that was fine. This would just make it easier for her to keep their relationship on a professional level. Let him run off to his little job. Who needed him? Hadn’t she just been telling herself that she could never have a relationship with Kyle? Well, he’d just made things infinitely easier. She was taken aback by the hurt and anger that simmered inside her. It’s for the best, her brain argued, but her heart didn’t seem to be getting the message. She was ticked!
Not even a full day after dinner together, and Kyle just shoved her aside like a chair that was in his way. If that was how he was going to be, then fine, she’d put her feelings on ice. There were plenty of other fish in the sea. He was just a big flounder, but so what? She’d move on.
The secretary interrupted her thoughts and asked again, “Is there something I can do for you?”
“No, no, that’s all right.” She turned around and strode briskly out of the admin suite.
6
P. J. steamed as she sat at her computer in the doctors’ lounge. She was supposed to be doing research on new heart valve replacement procedures being developed at the Mayo Clinic, but she couldn’t concentrate. She’d thought she liked Kyle Thornton, not like love at first sight or anything, but it had felt like there was an attraction there. He obviously didn’t have reciprocal feelings.
The door opened and half a dozen other docs came in, laughing together and teasing one another. P. J. glanced up and saw Nancy Wilbanks. They’d gone to medical school together and had been friends enough to hang out, but not best friends. Nancy had done a neurosurgery residency and was now back at the University of Alabama for a pediatric neurosurgery fellowship.
“Hi. Catching up on stuff?” she asked. P. J. didn’t answer right away, so Nancy plopped into the chair at the next cubicle and turned toward her. Her expression changed right away when she saw the pain-filled tears in P. J.’s eyes. She put a hand on her arm. “What’s wrong?”
P. J. glanced over her shoulder at the other fellows who were heading toward the lunch buffet on the other side of the room. She shook her head at first, but Nancy wouldn’t give up. “Come on, get it off your chest. It’s either work or a guy. Which one is it?”
A wry smile crossed P. J.’s lips. She wiped tears from the corners of her eyes. “A guy,” she said.
“I thought so. He’s been running around on you?”
P. J. shook her head. “No. I was just a lot more interested in him than he was with me. But it’s okay now. We’re through. I just have to get over it.”
“Did he say he wants out of the relationship?”
She shook her head again. “No. There really isn’t a relationship. I was just hoping. We had dinner one night. I was taken in by his amazing good looks and great personality and, well, I never should have let myself start feeling something for him.”
“What’s his specialty?” Nancy asked.
“He’s not a doctor. He’s a computer network manager.”
“Okay. Where’d you meet him?”
She tensed, wondering if she should say it out loud. She’d just admitted that there was nothing between her and Kyle so what was the harm? “His mother’s my patient.”
Nancy’s eyes widened. “Then it’s probably a good thing you’re forgetting him. You don’t want to cross that line.”
P. J. nodded. “I know.” The hard part about all of this was trying to figure out her emotions. She should be
glad that Kyle was a dud. It made the situation cut and dry. She wasn’t glad however, she was hurt—ticked! “I just really thought there was something there, but I read the signals wrong.”
“Those computer guys can be hard to read. They spend all their time with machines, and they can forget what it’s like to interact with a human.”
“I guess so. He just seemed interested one minute, and the next minute he wasn’t. He nearly ran over me in the hall and just kept on going. Just said hi, and that was it.”
Nancy nodded. “You’re right. He’s not sending good signals, and he’s not reading yours either. Get rid of him.” She leaned in closer. “I had the same thing with my last boyfriend. We did a lot of work together here, you know, but then I found out he was dating a sales rep for one of our suppliers. Now they’re engaged. Your guy, is he seeing anyone else?”
“I don’t know,” P. J. sniffed. “I doubt it, if he treats her like he treated me.” She really shouldn’t be wallowing in self-pity right now, but she couldn’t seem to help it.
“Yeah. Not too many girls would put up with that. Get rid of him. Move on. My advice, stay away from doctors. Go find yourself a nice accountant.”
An incredulous laugh bubbled in P. J.’s throat.
Nancy shook her head. “What?”
“He works for an accounting firm.”
“Oh,” Nancy giggled. “Well, just get rid of the loser.”
She let out a long sigh. “There’s nothing to get rid of. We don’t have anything. We just went to dinner once, last night. It was nice and all, but I guess I got the wrong vibes.”
“It happens.” Nancy patted her arm. “Look, I’ve got to go grab a bite and then get ready for a one o’clock case. I have to help close a big spina bifida. Want to get together and talk some more?”
“Thanks, but I’ve got this. I’ll be okay.”
“Don’t forget: There are plenty of fish in the sea, and you’re some great bait. You’ll find the perfect guy when the time is right.” She let a small sigh escape. “We all will.” She patted P. J.’s arm again. “Hang in there, sister. See you later.” She got up and went to join her colleagues at the lunch bar.
Winning the Doc's Heart Page 4