No Where to Run

by Raven K. Asher

  I shrug off my clothes and step into the stream of water.

  I close my eyes and let the water and heat, wash away all my sadness.

  Far too soon the water runs cold, so I get out of the shower and towel off. Wrapping the towel around myself I walk off to my room.

  On my dresser is a note under a cold glass of ice water.

  It simply says:

  I figured you would need some cool water for your throat. I left some food in the oven for you, too. I went out for a ride on Cutter to clear my head, I'll be back soon.

  Love Dunc

  I smile, and grab the glass taking a big gulp of the water, while sitting back on my bed.

  I still felt stressed from the dream and my body felt completely drained of energy.

  The dream just felt way too real.

  I groan as my stomach starts to grumble, so I reluctantly get up and make my way down to the kitchen to see what kind of meal Duncan left waiting for me.

  My stomach growls again as I reach the kitchen and peek into the oven.

  Duncan had made a chicken casserole with homemade rolls.

  Mom had taught both us kids how to cook from an early age, thankfully we were both great at making meals and we rotated when each of us cooked for the other.

  Quickly filling a plate I sit down at the table and dig in.

  I clear my plate in a matter of minutes, but my stomach still isn’t full, so I go back for seconds.

  Duncan soon returns, just as I’m washing the last of the dishes up. He sits down at the kitchen table and places his head in his hands.

  I turn to watch him, waiting for him to say something, anything.

  When he doesn’t talk or even move I decide to act first.

  I slowly walk to his side and pull out a chair. “Are you ok, Duncan?”

  He shakes his head as if he can’t believe I had just said those words, and looks up at my face.

  “Am I ok? Really, Lexi, you’re going to ask if I’m ok.” He murmurs.

  “I should be asking you that question, sis.” He shakes his head again and runs his hands roughly through his hair.

  “I’m fine, Duncan. It was just a bad dream that’s all.” I look down at my still shaky hands.

  He knows I’m lying, he knows exactly what my dream was about.

  I just don’t think I’m quite ready to talk about it, yet.

  “Lex, you really need to talk to someone about what happened. You’re never going to get better until you talk about it.” He pleads.

  I stand up abruptly from my seat. I couldn’t do this now.

  I can’t talk about that horrible day.

  “I can’t, Duncan. I just can’t talk about it yet, it’s still just too hard.” I say softly.

  I turn to walk away, but before I can Duncan grabs my hand and pulls me into a hug.

  “You know I love you, Lexi, no matter what I’ll always love you.” As soon as he lets me go I run up the stairs, to my room and I weep into my pillow.

  I loved my brother and most days I wished that I could talk to him about what happed that day, but something was always holding me back.

  Chapter 3

  Wednesday, August 28th

  It ended up being yet another sleepless night.

  I knew that the very minute I would shut my eyes to go back to sleep that the dream would return.

  When my alarm went off for the morning, I had been staring out the window watching the sunrise for over two hours.

  I was tired, but I knew I would just have to battle my way through the day.

  When I went downstairs to the kitchen, I was still in my pajamas, which consisted of a deep red worn tank top and black cotton boy shorts.

  It was suspiciously quiet, so I search through the entire house.

  Duncan and mom were both absent.

  Going back upstairs I slip on a pair of worn jeans and a pair of flip flops and head out to the barn next.

  I figured that maybe Duncan was out tending the horses.

  The air is a bit chilly outside, and I rub my arms as I walk into the barn.

  Everything looks untouched. The horses hadn’t even been fed, so I hurry to get them food, water and open the stalls for the day so that they had access to the pasture.

  Running back into the house I grab my phone to text Duncan.

  I was almost frantic to find out where he was and why he wasn’t home.

  Me: Hey, where r u?

  I wait what feels like forever, as I pace back and forth in the living room with my phone firmly in my hand.

  I stare at the screen willing it to tell me where my brother was.

  Minutes later the phone beeps with an incoming message.

  Duncan: I’m at the bar. Mom’s drunk. Max called me to get her.

  That explained it all and I let out a sigh of relief.

  Max was the owner of the bar that mom frequented. He was always kind to us kids and called when mom got a bit unruly.

  Unfortunately this wasn’t a first for this to happen, I text back.

  Me: K, hurry back we have school. I took care of the horses, btw.

  He sends a text back a few minutes later.

  Duncan: Thanks for that. No school today, they canceled it. All schools are being forced to close, thanks to this flu bug. I’ll be home soon.

  I wince a little at the text.

  I so didn’t want to get sick.

  This flu must be a lot worse than I had originally thought, and the way it was spreading was freighting.

  I could only hope that Duncan, mom and I would be lucky enough not to catch it.

  I call Kale next, to see how Lucy is doing. I was also curious about the vaccine she had gotten. I hoped it had helped her.

  He picks up on the third ring.

  “Hi, Kale it’s me, Lexi. How’s Lucy doing?”

  “Hey, she’s doing much better. I’m actually with her now. We were just about to call you to see if you wanted to go with us to The Diner for breakfast since school canceled.”

  “I don’t know, Kale.” I huff out insecurely.

  “Aw come on, Lexi. What’s the worst that can happen?” Kale pushes.

  As I really think it through, I know he is right. More than likely I wouldn’t run into Lucca and if I did, then I would just have to deal with the inevitable.

  I could handle it.

  I could do this, and anyway it was about time I dealt with my issues.

  “Ok, Fine. I’ll go.” I breathe out, my mind resolved with a new determination.

  I hear cheers in the background.

  He must have had me on speaker phone.

  I laugh to myself.

  “That’s awesome, Lexi. We will be at your house in about ten minutes to pick you up. Sound good?”

  “Yeah, sounds good, I’ll be ready.” I end the call.

  Then quickly head back upstairs to my room to change. I quickly slip on a shirt and some socks, and then run back downstairs.

  I sigh as I check myself out in the mirror near the front door to make sure nothing is out of place. I’m wearing a light gray low cut tee and a pair of old boot cut jeans. I grab my “ass kicking boots” as Duncan calls them, and slip them on and lace them up.

  Ten minutes pass as I sit impatiently in the living room, flipping through an old magazine.

  I jump up and practically run out the door when Kale honks his horn to let me know that they arrived.

  “Hey, guys.” I say jumping into the back seat with Katie and Kane. Lucy and Kale are up front.

  “Hey.” They all reply.

  The ride to the diner is quick.

  We share laughs as we sing to our favorite song that’s playing on the radio.

  I’m in a great mood as I walk through the door to The Diner.

  I look around the inside.

  It is exactly the same as it had been since I was there last. It has the same tacky western decorations. The floors were a rough dark wood, and the walls are a light brown, the tables and chairs w
ere all a lighter color than the floors, but it made the whole place have a kind of homey feel.

  The lights were dim and it had a smoky smell that lingered from the fireplace on the farthest wall, and that alone made me feel comfortable.

  It’s a mom and pop place and is favored by everyone in town.

  They made the best food around, in my opinion.

  We quickly find our favorite booth in the back near the fireplace. It was shaped in a large U and could easily fit us all, plus a few more.

  Lucy and Kale sit on the right side and Kane and Katie on the left.

  I push Kale to move over so I can sit on the end.

  As I sit, he grins mischievously and hangs his arms over the back of the seat as if he’s “king shit” squeezed in-between two girls. I roll my eyes and poke his side, making him squeak out a girlie scream.

  We all burst into laughter and I wear a smug grin as he gives me the “evil eye” then shakes his head and lets out a loud chuckle.

  “How are you feeling, Lucy?” I ask and the laughter quickly dies down as all eyes turn to her. She still looks pale, but she’s pretty much acting like her normal self.

  “I’m feeling much better. The vaccine they gave me at the hospital has helped a lot. In fact within an hour of getting it, I was feeling better. They said it may take up to three days for me to feel completely back to normal.”

  “Are there any side effects to the vaccine?” Katie asks.

  “Not that I’m aware of. They never told me of any, at least. They just requested that I return to the hospital for an evaluation in three days.” Lucy answers.

  I thought that was very odd, normally when doctors gave you any kind of medication or vaccine it comes with information on what the side effects generally were.

  A million different thoughts on how odd it was, swarmed through my head.

  I am about to voice my suspicion on the whole matter, but my mind turns to mush as Lucca steps up to our table.

  I gasp, placing my hand tightly to my chest as it constricts with too much emotion, and my stomach curdles with nerves.

  I thought I could handle this, but seeing him in front of me changes everything I feel. Even though we had been apart so long, somewhere deep in my heart I hadn’t let him go.

  I was still madly in love with him, and that scared me more than anything.

  He gives a shy smile to everyone, and then bites nervously on his bottom lip, which is completely unlike him.

  Normally he’s energetic, outgoing and a jokester much like Kale.

  “What will it be today, guys?” He quickly pulls out a note pad and pen from his pockets.

  “We will all have the blueberry pancake special.” Kane announces, as he gestures around the table.

  Thank God we had agreed in the car what we all going to order.

  I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to even talk.

  “Ok. What would you like for drinks?” He glances to me then looks back to Kane.

  “I’ll have orange juice.” Katie and Kale reply at the same moment, Katie lets out a small giggle.

  “I’ll take a coffee.” Lucy states.

  “I’ll take coffee, also.” Kane adds, with a yawn.

  Everyone turns to me, and I open my mouth to reply, but no sound comes out.

  I blush with embarrassment and lower my head. I can’t believe what a fool I’m making of myself.

  Glancing back up at Lucca beneath my lashes, I watch closely as different emotions run across his face.

  He smiles down at me again and I feel like melting.

  I really missed him smiling like that at me.

  “Warm milk, with a spoonful of sugar, like always, correct?” He asks in a low voice.

  I look back into his deep blue eyes and smile as I nod yes, blushing more because I can’t believe he actually remembered my favorite drink.

  Everyone always thought it was weird, but it was kind of like a comfort drink for me.

  He smiles back and shakes his long dark hair away from his deep blue eyes. It’s much longer than it had ever been. It isn’t too long coming just below his ears, but it looks good on him.

  It has that just out of bed look and I feel myself wanting to run my fingers through it.

  I shake my head to rid myself of those silly thoughts.

  I had no idea if he even still liked me.

  I watch as he nods himself while writing the order on his note pad, like he had come to some grand conclusion, he looks back quickly to me then walks off to fill our order.

  “Wow that was intense.” Kale suddenly blurts out and Lucy smacks his arm. He silently mouths “what?” and I nod my agreement as I look back to where Lucca had disappeared.

  “You need to talk to him, Lexi. You can see how much he misses you in his eyes.” Lucy says quietly as she leans around Kale to see me better.

  I bow my head and nod again.

  I knew I had to talk to him.

  I just didn’t know what to even say, or how to even say what needed to be said.

  “I know I’m just scared he’s going to be mad at me for leaving things the way I have for so long.” I state honestly as I look back to her.

  That was one of my biggest fears.

  That he would hate me, and I knew my heart would break if he did.

  “I’m pretty sure he’s not going to be mad at you, Lex. Anyone can see that he still loves you.” Katie states softly from across the table.

  When our food arrives I eat quietly, lost in my thoughts. While the others joke and talk about things they did over the summer. I shake my head and try my hardest to join into their conversations.

  Soon, I’m laughing along with them.

  I’m completely stuffed when we finish. I lean back in my seat and take in each of my friend’s happy faces.

  It felt good to be out and doing the normal things I use to do with my friends.

  Taking one last glance back to where Lucca disappeared earlier, I sigh.

  I hadn’t seen Lucca since he took our order.

  I take it as a sign that he doesn’t want to see me.

  I sigh again and push all thoughts of him to the back of my mind.

  I’ll deal with those feeling later.

  Kale decides to pay our bill and we all try to dispute it, but he says it’s all on him and to consider it a bit of a celebration that Lucy is felling better.

  The rest of us chip in on the tip though.

  As we are walking towards the car I realize I had forgotten my purse.

  I stop midway just as the others reach the car.

  “Hey guys, hold on a second. I’ve got to go back in. I left my purse at the table.” I yell over to them.

  “Do you want me to go with you?” Kale asks as he turns to make his way back to me. I hold up my hand for him to stop.

  “No, I can get it myself. Just don’t go leaving me here. It will only take me a minute.”I reply, and then quickly regret my answer.

  His lips slowly shift into devilish smile. “You better hurry up then, monkey.” He states as he hurries into the car.

  “Don’t even think about it Kale, I will kick your ass.” I point at him with a stern face.

  He laughs as he opens the driver’s door.

  I knew he was probably going to mess with me. That was just the way Kale was, always the jokester.

  There was a few times he would drive around the block just to scare me into thinking that he really had left.

  I rush back into the diner, and thankfully when I reach the booth, where we had been sitting I spot my purse sitting right where I had left it.

  Letting out a sigh of relief I grab it and turn to walk back out to the car.

  I check the inside my purse to make sure everything is accounted for as I’m walking out of the door, you can never be too careful. I’d rather know now if something was missing now, rather than it be a bad surprise later, but everything is accounted for.

  I look up to scan for Kales car as I exit the building, but c
an’t spot it.

  “Really Kale, you left me?” I yell out as I stomp my feet.

  I know, childish, but he left me, that punk.

  I smile and shake my head I should have known it was going to happen. He loved playing his silly little jokes.

  “You’re a complete asshole!” I yell out again as I kick a nearby rock and watch at it skitters across the parking lot.

  “Ouch, I sure hope that wasn’t for me.” My heart stops as I realize those words are spoken by Lucca, who had somehow snuck up beside me.

  I rub my arms suddenly feeling exposed.

  I want to run away, but my feet stay put.

  My eyes shift over his appearance, from his longer dark hair to his worn black shirt, down to his faded ripped jeans and his black boots that match my own. Not much had changed about him, at least from the outside.

  But he had a broken look to him, and I know I’m the cause of his brokenness.

  I sigh, looking down at my feet cursing them wordlessly.

  “No, I don’t think I could ever say that about you, Lucca.” I whisper as I look back to his eyes.

  My heart picks up speed as I notice that his full attention is on me, and I’m shocked again to see so many emotions showing in his eyes, sadness, happiness, concern and love. All the emotions that I’m sure are being shown through my own eyes.

  “I miss you, Pumpkin’.” He says sadly as he looks out into the parking lot.

  I close my eyes holding back the tears. Only he and my father had ever called me pumpkin’, but that doesn’t surprise me as much as hearing that he misses me does.

  I had missed him every day since I had pushed him away.

  I thought it would be better that way, but I was wrong.

  “I miss you too, Sparky.” I let some tears slip as I use my pet name for him.

  We had been big movie buffs and would spend weekends curled up in bed together, watching movies.

  I watch as he looks down to his feet, smiling to himself.

  Probably remembering the same things I was.

  He looks back up at me and I can see the unshed tears in his own eyes, and it practically breaks my heart.

  Then suddenly he holds out his arms for a hug and I don’t even hesitate.

  I throw myself in to his arms and hold on tight.