There was a knock, and the door opened, jangling the brass bell. Eugene closed the door behind him and took a few steps. “Ma’am. Mr. Mason.”
Marlys released August and got to her feet. “Hello, Eugene. How can I help you?”
“Mr. Booker closed the store for the evening, but he sent me out to bring you this. He said it might be important.” Eugene extended a long envelope.
Marlys stepped forward to take it. “That was nice of you. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, ma’am.”
“Have a good night.”
“You too, ma’am.”
“My, how his attitude has changed,” Sam commented.
She agreed. “I don’t know that he likes me any better than he did before. I suspect he just wants to keep his job.”
She looked at the Philadelphia postmark and turned the envelope over, recognizing the university’s seal and flipped it back.
“Let’s finish cleaning up,” Sam said to August, and the two of them busied themselves.
In her fastidious fashion, Marlys went for a letter opener and slit open the top of the envelope. Unfolding the piece of heavy vellum, the official stationery caught her off guard. Who at the American College of Medicine in Pennsylvania would send her a letter? She dropped her gaze to the signature. James McClintock had been the dean at the Philadelphia School of Eclectic Medicine. She read through the missive quickly, checked the envelope to make certain it was indeed addressed to her, and then read it through again. Her heart raced with excitement. She flattened her hand over her chest.
“What is it, Marlys?” Sam asked. “Bad news?”
“No.” She read the words again. A smile broke out on her face. “Dr. McClintock from the university where I graduated is starting a new medical school. I can hardly believe this!”
“What? What can’t you believe?”
“They’ve asked me to come teach at the American College of Medicine. The salary is, well, it’s staggering, but the honor. Oh, my, I can hardly catch my breath. Me! They’ve asked me to teach at their college!”
Chapter Eleven
“I’m sure you’re quite a catch,” Sam commented. “I know you’re honored to have been asked, but they’re the ones who would be fortunate to have you. That’s quite a distinction, Marlys. I’m very proud of you.”
“Thank you.” In her excitement, she flung herself into his arms, the hand with the letter behind his head. August came up behind Sam and took the letter from her fingers.
“This says the new college is on Fourth, between Race and Cherry Streets, and that housing is provided. These streets aren’t in Cowboy Creek. Is the college in Philadelphia?”
Marlys released Sam’s neck and backed away. “I... Yes.” She looked at August’s stricken face and back at Sam’s atypically placid expression. The hair on her neck prickled.
“You’re leaving?” August asked.
The moment stretched out, silence reverberating between the three of them. “I haven’t accepted, of course,” she said finally. “I’ve only just read the offer.”
Sam’s expression didn’t waver. “It sounds like a good one. You’d be respected, paid well. Have the opportunity to teach students like yourself, mold them and send them out to practice in communities like this one.”
Her numb gaze took in her name on the window, the glow of the lights in the waiting room as evening grew dark, and she glanced toward the back. She’d only just established herself here. Only now connected with Sam and August.
August handed the letter back to her, and she took it, unfolding it and reading the words again.
“It’s getting late, August.” Sam headed for their coats on the hooks. “We’d better get home and read a few chapters before bedtime.”
“Is she leaving Cowboy Creek?” August asked, not to be ignored.
“Marlys has a lot to think about.” He gestured for August to put his arms in the sleeves of his coat.
“But what about us?”
“That’s enough, August.” His tone was more harsh than she’d ever heard it. “We’re not going to influence her decision. It’s hers to make.”
Crestfallen, August buttoned his coat and pulled on his hat. Bunches of mistletoe springs fell from his pockets when he retrieved his hat. He piled them on a chair. “Night, Marlys.”
She didn’t know what to say and didn’t want to expose her muddled feelings or disorientation in front of the child. “Sam, I...”
He stopped and looked at her.
She shrugged.
“We’ll talk later,” he said and ushered his boy out the door.
* * *
The next day while there were no patients, she left her new assistant, Darius, with instructions to come for her if there was an emergency, and walked to the Webster County Daily News where the smells of ink and paper permeated the building. The presses were running, and both Sam and Israel were working to stack the printed pages that rolled from the press. He looked up to see her, signaled to Israel, and stopped the steam engine. The noisy machine halted, leaving her ears ringing.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt your work.”
“That’s all right. No one dies if I leave the press for a few minutes. What can I do for you?”
“Can we talk?”
He wiped his hands. “Sure. Back here.”
He led her to a small storage room and closed the door. The confined space was dark, save the light from the transom over the door.
“Sorry, my office is out there.”
“This is all right. I just wanted to talk to you. We didn’t have any privacy last night.”
“We do now.”
“Yes, well.” She took off her mittens and shoved them in her pockets.
“I’m sorry. Would you like to take off your coat?”
“No, I’m fine, thanks. That letter was such a shock, Sam. I didn’t know what to think. I still don’t.”
“Understandable. It’s a lot to take in. A big decision.”
She nodded. “Of course you understand.”
“I do, Marlys. They’ve offered you the respect and recognition you’ve always wanted. That you earned. That’s mighty flattering—and well deserved.”
He hadn’t been able to think of anything else since the previous evening. Her dream had come true. A prestigious university wanted her to come work for them, to share her knowledge, teach young doctors. She could make a difference for medicine. For women in the field. The last thing he wanted to do was hold her back. Well, next to last thing. The last thing he’d wanted was for her to choose her career over him again.
He swallowed hard against his turbulent emotions. He loved this woman. But he would not be the one to keep her from becoming all she could possibly be. One man couldn’t hold back a river or he’d drown trying.
He wasn’t that drowning man. He’d taken yet another chance, knowing the risks, knowing her passion and drive, but it didn’t look as though he was destined to have this woman in his life.
He regretted getting August involved only to have him disappointed. That hadn’t been a good choice on his part. The boy had already been through enough. But that wasn’t Marlys’s concern or her responsibility; it was his.
“You should take the position,” he told her. “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
“Do you believe that?”
“I do. You can make a difference in medicine, in the lives of those students, and the results would be far-reaching. A much broader reach than you can make here in Cowboy Creek. I don’t know anyone who would hold it against you for going.”
“Not even you?”
“Certainly not me. I know you.” His heart ached with every genuine word from his lips. “I believe in you.”
In the
dim interior, she studied his face as though searching for the truth, searching for answers, for permission.
“The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt you,” she said.
“I know.”
She moved to his left, and he stepped out of her way, so she could open the door. He blinked into the light and watched her disappear down the hallway. The outer door opened and closed. He leaned his forehead against the wall, his hand fisted on the wood and took deep breaths.
He’d taken a risk. He’d done it fully aware. He would never regret going after the woman he wanted. He had a business and a career he enjoyed. He had an amazing son. He would move on without her. He’d watched her spread her wings, and he would always know he hadn’t held her back.
* * *
Marlys finished her day barren of any excitement she would’ve expected to feel. The offer was everything Sam said it was. It was all the respect and recognition she’d ever wanted. But every time she pictured her life if she moved back to Philadelphia she felt sick and empty inside.
Not seeing August for one day, and knowing he was unhappy and probably bewildered by the thought of her leaving, cut into any pleasure she could hope to experience. Sam was no doubt keeping them away so as not to influence her decision or make her feel bad.
She felt bad anyway.
She remembered every moment they’d spent together, privately, with August, with friends. Anticipating her future in Cowboy Creek had been exhilarating. She’d gone so far as to imagine them buying a home together. She’d struggled with feelings of inadequacy because she didn’t know how to cook or run a household, and she realized now those insecurities had risen from her desire to please a husband, to make a family, to become more than only a doctor, but a wife and mother, as well.
Sam had encouraged her to take the teaching position. He believed it was an excellent opportunity, and it was. But the opportunities that waited for her here were enticing, too...
It was impossible to sleep with the burden of this decision on her mind. She woke exhausted at dawn on the day before Christmas and prepared herself a mineral bath. She didn’t often allow herself the time for this luxury, but she needed to lift her spirits. She soaked and prayed. Washed her hair and dried it in front of the stove. There was a service that evening, so she took time to select a dress from the new ones Hannah had sewn and hung it on the door of her cupboard.
She dressed and heated more water. By noon she had treated blisters, a burn, a stomachache and been asked if she could make hair grow on a sixteen-year-old boy’s chest.
He looked a mite puny to her. She imagined he worried he wasn’t manly enough to interest someone of the fairer sex. She made him a tonic with iron and castor oil, and advised him to take it daily.
“Will hair grow on my chest?” His voice had already changed, and it was only a matter of time until his wish came true.
“It may take a while,” she told him, “but if you eat well and get fresh air and exercise, you can be sure that hair will grow.”
He extended a coin to pay her.
She raised her palm. “Not today. It’s Christmas Eve. My gift to you.”
“Thank you, Doctor.”
Darius added wood to the stove. “Couldn’t help overhearing, Dr. Boyd. That boy is going to grow chest hair on his own.”
“You know that, and I know that, but he didn’t know that. He wouldn’t have believed me if I’d told him and might have even sent for one of those harebrained concoctions available in the catalogs. What I gave him was safe and will actually do him good.”
Smiling, her assistant clanged the stove door shut.
“Mrs. Kendricks won’t be here until eleven,” she reminded him as she prepared to depart. “I’m going out. If there’s an emergency you can reach me at the Gardner home on Lincoln Boulevard.”
Darius nodded. “Yes, Doctor.”
She bundled up and walked the short distance. As soon as Leah opened the door, tears rolled down Marlys’s cheeks.
“Whatever is it? Come in.”
Once settled on her settee, Evie in the bassinet nearby, Leah said, “Out with it.”
Marlys told her the whole story, stumbling over her words, explaining with flushed cheeks how Sam had asked her to marry him and how she’d promised him an answer by tomorrow. “And then the letter changed everything.”
“What did it change?” Leah asked. “Did it change how you feel about Sam?”
“No. That’s why I’m so perplexed.”
“Did it change how Sam feels about you?”
“I don’t think so. I know he’s proud of me. He believes it’s a golden opportunity.”
“Which it is.”
“Yes. He thinks I should accept the position.”
“Why do you think he said that?”
“Because he doesn’t want to hold me back. Because he doesn’t want to...stop me.”
When she glanced up, Leah had one brow raised.
“He didn’t tell me to stay.”
“Why do you suppose not?”
Marlys shook her head. “It took a lot of courage for him to propose a second time. Last time I backed out.”
“But he did propose.”
“Yes, because I wanted him to.”
“Because...”
“Because I love him.” She blinked at Leah. “I wasn’t even sure before, but I do love him.”
“Has he told you he loves you?”
“No.” And before the other woman could ask, she added, “Because he’s afraid.”
“I’d guess you’re right. He was afraid you’d choose your career over him again. And now you truly have to make that choice.”
She mopped her eyes with her handkerchief. “What am I going to do?”
“No one can tell you that. You’re going to have to look into your heart for that answer.”
On the way home, Darius met her at a run. “You have a patient. Thinks his arm is busted and Doc Foster was nowhere to be found.”
The rest of her day was filled with patients and ladies coming for their mineral baths. She barely had time to eat a quick meal and dress for the evening service. At a loud knock at the front office door, she discovered Daniel Gardner. “Leah says you’re riding with us.”
* * *
“Pardon me for nosing in on your business,” Leah Gardner said to Sam that evening as he glanced around the crowded church for a seat. He’d wanted to slip in at the last minute to avoid Marlys, but August had to be there early to prepare for his part in the program. “But it’s come to my attention that you must have rocks in your head.”
“Excuse me?” Sam frowned at the woman.
“Dr. Boyd might have an easier time making a decision if you’d just tell her you love her.”
Sam’s collar felt tighter and warmer than it had minutes ago. He ran a finger under it, and his gaze landed on Marlys taking a seat beside James Johnson and reaching to procure the baby.
“That’s all I have to say.” Leah took her leave and joined her husband, who held their baby wrapped in a white blanket.
Sam found a place several rows behind Marlys, deliberately not beside anyone he knew. Marlys had probably spoken to Leah in confidence as a friend, and he doubted Leah would share their personal business, but still he felt uncomfortable.
And annoyed. Did Leah Gardner really think it was that easy to put his heart out there for Marlys to trample over again?
The children’s choir sang a selection of Christmas songs, and Hannah Johnson directed them in a play about the birth of the Christ child. August was a shepherd, and he beamed at Sam. When he recited his verse that Sam had helped him memorize, Sam’s throat got tight with emotion. During the rest of the service, his thoughts wandered to what Leah had said. If Marlys was having a hard time deci
ding, she must not want to stay very badly. The lure of this opportunity had to be stronger than the idea of staying here. If she truly wanted to stay, she would make that choice. Nothing he said would change that.
Would it?
He was afraid. He was proud. He didn’t want to be hurt, so he was being defensive. Telling her to go had been self-protective. If he told her he loved her, the choice to leave would be a deliberate rejection of that love. Hiding his personal loss and pain was a character flaw; it wasn’t strength. Who had he fooled?
The program ended with the children carrying lit candles along the aisle to the rear of the building.
“Mr. and Mrs. Canfield have provided refreshments at their home,” Reverend Taggart announced. “Please, join us.”
“How did I do, Papa?” August asked.
“You were undoubtedly the best shepherd I’ve ever seen,” Sam replied with a forced smile.
August grinned. One of his incisors was loose, making the tooth charmingly crooked, but not yet loose enough to pull. Sam loved his boy so much. Was August secure in his love? “Do you know how much I love you, son?”
“I love you, too, Papa. We’re going to be just fine, so don’t worry.”
Was his agitation so obvious that an eight-year-old was compelled to encourage him? He helped his son remove his costume and fold it. August reached for his hand, and they got their coats and followed the crowd across the yards in the dark toward the well-lit house behind. Will Canfield had built a home suitable for a man with his eye on the governorship. They found refreshments set out on a sideboard in the elaborate dining room, then carried plates to a large reception area.
A boy who’d been a wise man in the play invited August to sit with several children at a low table surrounded by short stools. “Go ahead,” Sam told him. “Have fun.”
Sam visited with James, who held little Ava. A doting father, he bounced the infant on one arm and gave her exaggerated smiles that made her grin and drool. Sam even laughed at that.
August tugged the sleeve of his jacket and drew him to a doorway which led to an enormous entry. Leah led Marlys to the same spot, and he recognized the second Marlys spotted Sam. She gave him a weak smile.
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