COLEL (Immortal Matchmakers, Inc. Series Book 5)

by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

  “Rys, may I present my brothers Guy and Nick.”

  “Great to meet you.” Kinich held out his hand.

  Rys blinked and hesitantly went in for the shake. “My grandmother is really going to enjoy this dinner.”

  “Oh, so she’s feeling better?” Colel asked. “Because I brought a homemade remedy.”

  “A little, but this will distract her.” Rys finally stepped aside to let them in.

  “Thank you for allowing me to invite us into your home,” Colel said, removing her long yellow coat to reveal her elegant toga.

  Rys’s attention immediately zeroed in on her outfit. “That is…” he swallowed hard, “quite the spaghetti-night dress.”

  She shrugged it off, as if she hadn’t spent three hours getting ready or put on her favorite thong—a cute little black thing with yellow bees on it. ’Tis a special occasion indeed. Otherwise, she wouldn’t bother with the panties. “Not looking so bad yourself.”

  Their eyes met, and she suddenly felt a tingle in her core, as if he were reaching down inside her, giving her a tickle. A naughty tickle. Oh, gods. I want to kiss him.

  Then, almost as if he’d heard her silent request, he stepped closer, his posture—strong and determined—reminding her of a fierce jaguar hypnotized by the sight of its next delicious meal.

  She felt her heartbeat slamming against her rib cage. He’s going to kiss me. She’d never wanted anything so much in her life.

  “Eh-hem,” Votan cleared his throat. “Mind not drooling over my sister right in front of me?”

  Rys snapped out of it and took a step back. “My apologies. It’s not every day I have such a stunning woman in my home.”

  He called me stunning? Her inner goddess swooned.

  Kinich cleared his throat just as she and Rys started to lock eyes again.

  Rys took one more step back. “A stunning woman and her very large intimidating brothers. Right this way, I’ll introduce you to Grandma Bea.”

  Oh! Her name is Bea! I love her already. The four entered the kitchen to find the cutest little old woman she’d ever seen. Grandma Bea couldn’t be over five feet tall. And she was wearing heels. Red heels. And red lipstick to match her bright red hair.

  Colel suddenly got all teary-eyed. The woman was like an older version of Cimil.

  “Is something wrong?” Rys asked.

  “No. It’s just that…your grandma reminds me of someone.”

  Votan jumped in to steer the conversation away. “My name is Guy, ma’am. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He held out his large hand.

  Grandma Bea frowned. “Handshaking is for pussies. Now gimme hug.” She threw out her arms and went right in.

  Colel tried not to laugh as Votan’s back stiffened. He wasn’t the PDA type.

  “Very. Lovely. Yes. Thank you.” He stiffly patted the woman’s back.

  She released him. “And who is this hunk of tall hotness?” She looked Kinich over.

  “You may call me Nick.” Kinich opened his arms to welcome her, bending down two whole feet to give her a proper hug.

  Well, this is going great! Rys would look back on this moment in the very near future and see that vampires weren’t so bad and gods were kind of cool. Or at least, impressive in height.

  Bea gave Colel a gentle hug. “Don’t want to wrinkle your dress. Had I known it was toga night, I would have been prepared.” Bea winked.

  “I like being comfortable. I would walk around naked all day long if I could.” Colel glanced at Rys, knowing he’d already seen the divine goods. Judging from his expression—the lust in his eyes, the flushed face, the tight jaw—he was reliving the moment in his head.

  We are so having sex later. I just know it!

  “Well,” Bea said, removing her little apron and placing it on the counter, “Rys always accuses me of cooking for an army, and today, the army showed up! Hope you brought your eatin’ pants!” Bea glanced at Votan’s black leather trousers and quickly did a triple take of his crotch, her eyes protruding from her head. “Oh my…do you have to feed that thing, too?”

  Votan’s manhood was prominently bulging against his leg.

  He smiled proudly and flicked his thumb at Bea, but turned toward Rys. “I am unsure if I like you, but she is terrific. Where did you find her?”

  Rys looked thoroughly disturbed by the scene of his spunky little granny getting an eyeful of Votan’s enormous penis pouch.

  “I’m not sure how to answer that,” Rys said, “but why don’t we go into the dining room. What can I get you to drink?”

  “I’ll have blood—” Kinch paused. “A bloody Mary, I mean.”

  “I will have whatever you’re having,” said Votan. “You look like a real man, so don’t disappoint me.”

  “I’ll take mead. Or brut champagne. Or pale ale. Really, anything honey colored,” Colel replied.

  “All right.” Rys’s expression turned ten shades of what the hell is wrong with these people?

  Oh no. “We’re all kidding!” Colel spit out. “Just a little friendly family humor. We’ll have whatever you’ve got. No one here is picky. Or weird. Or eccentric. Nope. Just normal, fun humans right here.”

  Why the fuck did I say that? Everyone knew that making such a declaration meant you were full of complete bullshit. For example, when you saw a van on the road that said “We’re the friendly plumbers!” it really meant the guy inside was a cranky turd. If you saw the words delicious and nutritious on a package of cereal at the store, it generally meant it tasted like crap or was junk food with a few vitamins thrown in.

  Jesus. Now he’s going to know we’re not normal. Or human. Or fun.

  “Colel? Are you all right? You’re turning blue.” Rys placed his hand on her shoulder to steady her.

  Oh gods. What am I doing? I’m being such a fake. I don’t want Rys to like someone I’m not.

  “I can’t do this,” she mumbled. “I can’t lie anymore or go through this dinner pretending that being us is all roses and honey.” The truth was, being her fucking sucked. Hard! Living forever, trying day in and day out to do your best and help others, who frankly didn’t want to be helped, was tiring. Then there was the fact that as evolved and enlightened as the gods liked to believe they were, not much had really changed in seventy thousand years. The gods were tribal at heart. Vampires were tribal at heart. So were incubi, demons, fairies, and every other species. It all meant that she had to come clean. With her true nature.

  She didn’t want to date a vampire. Not because she was a hater, but because their cultures and beliefs were different. They weren’t the same. Yes, yes. They all belonged to the immortal community, but that didn’t mean they liked the same food or music or had the same sunshine preferences. They were different in a way that would keep them from living a happy life together.

  He doesn’t even like bees! Who doesn’t like bees?

  So why was she here in this man’s house trying to sell him a bag of tricks? Why was she pretending she was okay with dating a vampire? Everything was based on a lie. Her lies. And it would lead her absolutely nowhere other than to more misery.

  “Colel? What is the matter?” Kinich hissed.

  She shook her head. “I can’t do this. I thought I could. But I can’t.”

  “What’s wrong?” Rys asked while everyone stared.

  She looked into his dark seductive eyes, wanting with all her heart for this to work out, but how could it?

  “I thought I could date a vampire,” she sputtered aloud, talking to herself mostly. “I really did. But aside from Kinich, whom I merely tolerate because I’ve known him my entire existence, I don’t find vampires attractive. It’s like you with the bees, Rys. You don’t hate them, exactly, but wudja wanna fuck one? No. And I can’t help how I feel. I’m attracted to you. As you are. I would be okay if you were a demigod, too, but a bloodsucking night creature? It goes against all that I am.

  “I love the sun. I love seeing green plants grow from the soil. There is no grea
ter joy in my world than watching bees dance from flower to flower, buzzing merrily as they collect their honey.”

  “Colel!” Votan’s voice boomed in her ears, making her jump. “You need to be silent now.”

  “Why?” She threw out her hands. “I’m done with lying. I want something real. I deserve it.”

  “No. Because his grandmother is on the floor, currently receiving CPR.”

  Colel looked down and suddenly noticed Rys pumping the old woman’s chest.

  Oh gods. What just happened?

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Colel paced across Rys’s living room—the one in his rental—berating herself over and over again for how the evening had unfolded. She’d literally lost her mind right in the middle of spaghetti night.

  I can’t believe I killed her. Rys’s spunky redheaded granny had been so shocked by her rant, she’d just dropped to the floor. Colel would never forgive herself, and considering that she was destined to live a very, very long time, that meant eons of misery lay ahead.

  Stupid. Stupid goddess! Why couldn’t you have kept your dumbass mouth shut? She didn’t even know why she freaked out. Perhaps it was because she had true feelings for this man.

  Or, at least, I want to. She wanted to get to know him and have genuine love grow between them. That was her honest-to-gods desire. But instead, she had found herself in the midst of laying a trap. She’d claimed that she wanted to ease him into her world, but that was a lie.

  So then why? Why do all this? What was really at the crux of her actions? Colel closed her eyes, reaching deep inside her heart for the answer. Like Cimil sorting through a box of trinkets at a garage sale, Colel dug through the mess of emotions.

  Fear. She opened her eyes. A big fat puddle of fear had been lurking beneath it all, driving her this entire time. She had been afraid he would never accept her.

  That’s what this whole thing was really all about. The bee-sting thing had been an excuse. She could have sent her bees away for a few months or locked them up somewhere safe and inescapable while she took the time to get to know Rys. From there, if he was truly her mate, she would have been able to petition for his demigod status.

  But no. I created this absurd ruse, all because I didn’t believe he’d accept me. Me and my babies. Getting him to become a vampire was merely some sick, cowardly way of protecting herself. It would have given her an excuse to reject him if he rejected her.

  What’s the matter with me? Seriously. Thankfully, in the end, her heart couldn’t betray what she knew to be right and true: honesty. It all came spewing out, as if a dam had broken inside her. She could not and would not manipulate Rys into becoming a vampire simply because she was afraid of his ultimate rejection of her as his mate.

  If I’m this afraid, maybe we aren’t really destined to be together. Perhaps I simply wanted to believe we were. There was no denying how lonely she felt and how badly she wanted the type of love she witnessed blossoming throughout the immortal community.

  Hell, even Zac has someone. Even if she is invisible. Or a figment of his imagination. Nevertheless, Colel found herself feeling jealous of even him.

  “Any word, goddess?” Brutus came into her bedroom, holding a cup of tea. She knew he’d put honey in it. Brutus always knew how to make her feel better.

  “No. No word.” She sighed with regret and took a seat on the edge of her bed.

  He handed her the tea and sat next to her. “Is there anything I can do?”

  “No. But thank you.”

  “A bubble bath, perhaps. They always do wonders to soothe your nerves.”

  It wasn’t missed by her how well Brutus knew her and attended to her needs. Truthfully, she appreciated it as much as she appreciated him, but…

  She set the teacup on her lap and looked up at him. “Brutus, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize it sooner.”

  “Realize what?” he asked.

  “That you’re in love with me.”

  “But who said I am—”

  “Bup, bup!” She held out her palm. “Don’t say a word. I just want you to know how special it makes me feel—your care, your protectiveness, and the fact that you are one sexy, deadly, kickass immortal.” She drew a long breath. “But I’ve learned my lesson. Perhaps the hardest way anyone can.” By killing Rys’s granny. “And I do not want you to waste one moment of your existence hoping where there is no hope to be had. As attractive as you are, as incredible as you are, as relaxed as you would make me, because I’m certain you’re an excellent lover, the truth is you deserve better.”

  He stared at the floor and nodded.

  “Brutus,” she covered his large hand with hers, “somewhere out there is a woman for you. And when you find her, you will get to experience the deep satisfaction of her devotion and eternal desire.” She wanted this for Brutus, just like she wanted it for herself. An honest love. A fiery, blow-your-mind forever love.

  He chuckled softly. “If you ever change your mind? I would make a good bubble-bath companion.”

  “We do enjoy many of the same things. But why risk meeting the one because you’re too occupied by being the second?”

  He smiled and gazed affectionately into her eyes.

  I wish Rys would look at me like that just once more. But he never would again. Not after all this.

  Brutus then leaned in and gave her a peck on the lips. “Good luck.”

  “Thank you. You, as well.” She watched him leave, knowing that with his departure, she would now be on her own to save the bees. Not that the Uchben wouldn’t be there if she needed assistance, but it wouldn’t be Brutus. It wouldn’t be the same. They would come to her aid out of a sense of duty. Brutus had come out of a sense of love. And he always brought honey and made me bubble baths.

  She suddenly heard the front door followed by the banter of deep voices downstairs.

  Kinich! He’s back. Kinich had gone with Rys to the hospital several towns over. Votan had stayed behind because she’d begun to flip out, and they figured only Votan could subdue her bees, who, according to Brutus, had busted down three doors in the rental home and were rushing over to Rys’s to defend their mistress.

  Of course, it wasn’t she who needed defending, it was Rys and his grandmother.

  Colel rushed downstairs to the living room. “Kinich! What happened?” She skidded to a halt, finding Rys standing in front of the dying fire. He looked awful, his hair a mess, his dark blue shirt untucked, his eyes red and puffy.

  Oh no. Oh no. “Rys?” She barely spoke above a whisper. “Why aren’t you at the hospital?”

  “She’s dead.”

  “No.” Colel covered her mouth. How had this happened? How!

  “Her heart stopped, and they couldn’t revive her.”

  “Oh, dear gods.” She rushed toward Rys and threw her arms around his neck.

  He quickly pushed her off. “This is your fault. You did this,” he growled.

  Colel dropped her arms, unsure what to say. Mostly, because it was true. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I’m so, so sorry.”

  Rys’s dark, hate-filled eyes slammed into her. “You brought that…that fucking thing into my house. You fucking killed her.”

  Colel’s brain did a few donuts, trying to drive to the point. “What…thing?”

  “That vampire! What made you think you had the right!” he yelled.

  She took a step back, and Brutus appeared in the doorway. “Is everything all right?” he growled.

  “Yes. Yes. Fine.” Not as if Rys could hurt her, though she sensed he desperately wanted to hurt someone. “I’ll call if I need anything.”

  Brutus left, but she knew he wouldn’t be far.

  “Rys, please tell me what you’re talking about.”

  “You think I don’t know what your brother is?”

  “So you know about vampires.”

  “He’s not the first I’ve seen. But if there’s any goddamned justice in this world, he’ll be the last.”

  “Rys
, calm down for a moment.” Honestly, she needed to think. She needed to understand how he knew and how it could have possibly led to Bea’s unexpected heart attack.

  “You and your pack of misfit, degenerate vampire sympathizers need to leave town. You have one hour.”

  “Rys! Stop it. Just tell me what’s going on.”

  “Vampires tore my family apart. They killed my parents.”

  How awful. “Vampires attacked your parents?” If true, then something had to be done. There were rules. There were laws. Good humans were not to be harmed.

  Wait. There aren’t any bad vampires left. We killed them all. That meant there were only good vampires left.

  Oh no. Oh no… She put two and two together. If only good vampires were left and one attacked his parents, then it stood to reason that the vampire had flipped. Up until now not one vampire had wandered over to the dark side, but clearly that was changing.

  What if more are changing? It’s going to be a bloodbath! Fuck, fuck, fuck! I have to do something. I have to call a summit. The gods had their army, but how many humans would lose their lives if the entire population of vampires changed? Hell, we’re screwed even if it’s only half. It would lead to a horrible war. The Uchben would be forced to kill those vampires. Good vampires who were all temporarily insane.

  “I’m so sorry about your parents, Rys. Do you know which vampire killed them?”

  He sank onto the cream-colored sofa, covering his face. “I don’t know. It was dark when I walked in on the thing. I shot it, and it ran off. But it killed five other people that night. The entire town has been on alert ever since. My grandmother has nightmares about them returning.”