Our New Normal

  “I know,” Tori began, “but you know how my friends are. If they find out about us, they’re going to make our lives a living hell until graduation. The end’s so close; I’d like to just end it peacefully, you know? Plus, if everyone finds out, the news is going to be even more scandalous because it’s me. I’m going to get a lot of shit because of how I was, and I don’t want you to be victimized because of my past mistakes.” Tears welled in her eyes. “I really wish I wouldn’t have been so mean to everyone. I wish I would’ve just been myself and not tried so hard to fit in. It was so trivial and dumb!”

  “I’m not going to say that how you used to act is forgivable,” Chloe admitted. “It’s not. You’ve hurt a lot of people over the years, and no one’s going to forget what you’ve done just because you’re suddenly different. The important thing, though, is that you’re not that person anymore. That’s a lot more than most people can say; not everyone learns from their mistakes. Besides—” she squeezed Tori’s hand— “you’ve got me now, and I’m not going away.”

  “Thank you, babe,” Tori said gratefully. “I wish that I could be as open about us as you would like. I hope you know that. I don’t want to hide you like Kristen did. I’m very proud to be your girlfriend.”

  Chloe sat up and hugged Tori, her anger subsiding. “I know, babe, and I understand. I’m proud of you and the progress you’ve made over the past couple of months. I just wish everyone else could see what I see in you.” Chloe sighed. “We’ll keep it quiet for now. I don’t want to be bothered more than I already am, either. We only have a couple more months, and then we can shout it from the hilltops.”

  Tori nodded. “Speaking of which, I was thinking about college. Both of us want to go for the same major, right? I was thinking that if we go to the same college, we can get a dorm room together. They can’t deny us a room if they know we’re together, can they?”

  Chloe shook her head. “I don’t think so,” she replied. “But then again, we don’t have to wear signs around our necks saying that we’re a couple. Straight couples don’t announce it to every person they see; we don’t have to, either.”

  “That’s a good point,” Tori agreed. “So you think it’s a good idea, moving in together?”

  “Well, yeah, if you don’t mind going to a cheaper college,” Chloe replied. “I can’t afford the fancy colleges your parents can.”

  “Just because they can afford it doesn’t mean I want to go somewhere expensive,” Tori said. “I never planned on going to some ivy league school. I’m intelligent, but not that intelligent, and my overall grade point average sucks since I’ve screwed it up over the years. Besides, I’d much rather shack up with you more than any other option.”

  Chloe squeezed Tori’s hand and kissed her cheek. “I can’t wait for high school to be over,” Chloe declared. “I can’t wait to stop hiding.”

  Tori smiled. “Neither can I,” she replied. “I can’t wait to show you off.”

  Chapter 25

  Tori and Chloe resumed their façade upon returning to school the following Monday. Because they agreed to keep their relationship a secret for the time being and no longer had an assignment as an excuse to sit next to each other, they hung out with their respective friends during homeroom and lunch. They made up excuses to see one another, sharpening their pencils together in class or getting food and disposing of their trays at the same time in the cafeteria. The little moments they had together was appreciated, and they again found ways to show affection without prying eyes noticing.

  In the weeks that followed, Chloe and Tori noticed that the general populous was blissfully ignorant of their secret. While most didn’t notice, though, Chloe had a feeling that Kristen knew; they were being civil, but there was something in Kristen’s eyes that made it seem like she knew more than she let on. They’d been friends most of their lives and had grown accustomed to one another’s body language, especially once they became more than friends. Kristen’s eyes said to Chloe that she had a secret, one that appeared to be painful. Chloe wouldn’t have been surprised if Kristen knew what was going on between her and Tori; the subtle ways they showed affection was more than familiar to Kristen. Still, she wasn’t going to confirm Kristen’s suspicions without being asked directly; they still weren’t speaking outside of school hours, and Chloe didn’t intend to change that any time soon. Any distaste that Kristen felt for Chloe’s new relationship was her own fault, anyway; Kristen had made up her mind about who she wanted to date before Tori was even a thought in Chloe’s mind. At one time Chloe would’ve happily stayed with Kristen for the rest of her life, but now she wanted no one but Tori.

  Tori noticed that Sabrina was also acting strangely. Sabrina had barely spoken to her and rarely made eye contact, even during practice. Though Tori was still mad at Sabrina, she was grateful that she didn’t have to keep up the front of them being best friends, the silence made her feel uneasy. She wondered if Sabrina had caught onto Tori’s feeling for Chloe, though she cared a lot less than she probably should have. Part of her wanted to do a better job at hiding the relationship until the end of the year—she knew that their attempts to conceal what they had were mediocre at best—but that was only a small part of her. For the first time in Tori’s life, she was genuinely happy, and she cared less and less about what people thought after every kiss, every touch, and every evening spent in Chloe’s arms. She was counting down the days until the end of the school year so that she could be open about her relationship with Chloe, and the thought of them sharing a dorm was even more incentive to keep a low profile.

  * * *

  Sabrina and the rest of the squad huddled together in the locker room while Tori spoke with the coach on the field.

  “We know the rules say that we can’t kick her out for being gay, and her grades are good enough that she won’t get booted that way,” Katie whispered. “I found in the guidelines, though, that suspension is grounds for immediate dismissal from the squad.”

  Sabrina sneered. “So we just have to find a way to get her suspended, then?”

  Katie nodded. “It’s the only thing I’ve been able to find.” She chuckled. “I don’t think I’ve worked this hard on homework in my entire life! After all this research, I kind of want to become a lawyer!”

  Tori walked into the room, and the rest of the group went silent. She tried to shrug it off, but she could feel the tension. “Is everything okay?” she asked tentatively.

  “So, Tori, did you and your little friend have fun on break?” Sabrina asked, an edge to her voice.

  Tori’s stomach lurched. Dammit. She knows. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  Sabrina approached Tori, inches from her face. “You know exactly what I mean,” she hissed.

  Tori took a step back, her arms crossed. “Actually, I have no idea what you’re talking about. What’s your problem, anyway? You’ve acted weird since we got back from break.” Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she noticed the sinister look on everyone’s faces and could feel the hostility filling the room.

  Sabrina scoffed. “You and your lesbo friend, Chloe, are awful close,” she replied. “You think no one noticed the way you guys are looking at each other? Please!”

  Tori rolled her eyes. “What is it with you thinking that everyone in this school is a homo? Just because I’m friends with someone outside of our clique doesn’t mean I’m sleeping with her.” Tori’s eyes narrowed, and her lip curled. “Besides, aren’t you the one who’s the expert about fucking people behind their backs?”

  Sabrina’s eyes widened with surprise. “Wh-what do you mean by that?”

  Tori snarled. “I know about you and Aaron, Sabrina.” The other cheerleaders’ eyes darted between Tori and Sabrina, their interest piqued.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Sabrina insisted.

  “Oh please, you lying slut,” Tori growled. “The very day I confided in you about Aaron, you two were in the mall making p
lans to hook up! You were supposed to be my best friend!”

  Sabrina’s mouth was agape as she tried to figure out how Tori found out. Aaron and the rest of the squad had vowed to keep it quiet, but one of them might have lied. As she thought about it, though, she remembered that the person sitting behind them had looked familiar. She hadn’t given it much thought at the time, but it now occurred to her that it could have been Chloe. “It was your little girlfriend that told you, wasn’t it?”

  “This isn’t about Chloe, so leave her out of this,” Tori demanded through clenched teeth. “You admit that you went behind my back! You admit that you used the information I told you in confidence against me to lure Aaron into bed—on the same day, even! How could you do that to me?”

  “Oh, like you give a shit about Aaron—or me, for that matter!” Sabrina exclaimed. “All you’ve ever cared about is yourself. You treat all of us like servants, and you used Aaron as a smokescreen to conceal the fact that you’re a dyke! You must love to be in this locker room, watching all of your hot friends undress.” The other girls covered up self-consciously.

  “Shut the hell up, Sabrina,” Tori hissed, her hands clenched into fists.

  “Or what?” Sabrina asked, stepping close enough to Tori that their noses touched. “Are you going to beat my ass? I’m not your bitch, so go beat on Chloe.”

  A low rumble escaped Tori’s throat. She struggled to maintain composure, her eyes flashing with anger as she pictured injuring Sabrina. She stepped back again, her nails digging into the flesh of her palm. “Leave me alone, Rina,” she growled.

  “Or are you the bitch in the relationship?” Sabrina continued, sneering. “Maybe it’s Chloe that pushes you around.” She shoved Tori, slamming her shoulder into the locker. “That probably turns you on, doesn’t it?”

  Tori shrieked as she lunged at Sabrina. “You fucking whore!” She dug her nails into Sabrina’s cheek and dragged them down until blood started to trickle down her face.

  Sabrina howled in pain and rolled onto her side, kicking Tori against the locker. Tori rushed back to Sabrina, pulling her hair as she slammed Sabrina’s head against the floor. Sabrina yelped as she tried to pry herself away from Tori’s hold.

  The coach ran into the locker room, pulling the girls apart. “What in the hell is going on?” she demanded. “Tori, get off of her! What in the hell are you doing?”

  Before Tori could answer, Sabrina stood up, holding her bleeding face. “She just attacked me!” she exclaimed. “She was trying to hit on me, and I turned her down. It’s just not my thing, you know? But then, she attacked me! Maybe she was embarrassed because she got rejected? I don’t know, but I didn’t do anything wrong!”

  The other girls nodded in agreement, declaring that Sabrina’s story was true.

  Tori’s eyes widened, her cheeks flushed with rage. “You’re all liars!” she yelled as she turned to the coach. “Sabrina pushed me into the locker! I was defending myself!”

  The coach looked at the girls, noticing that Tori had no marks. “Tori, come with me,” she instructed, “and Sabrina, go to the nurse.” She grabbed Tori by the arm, dragging her from the locker room despite her protests. Glancing back at her teammates, she noticed Sabrina smile deviously and give Tori the finger while the other girls chuckled behind her.

  * * *

  It only took one look at Sabrina’s bleeding face for Tori to be suspended for a week and kicked off of the cheerleading squad.

  As soon as the students could get to their phones, news of the fight spread like wildfire. The story had gotten twisted so that everyone believed that Tori had tried to sexually assault Sabrina in the locker room. Tori was furious about the rumors, getting suspended, and being kicked off of the squad; but she was more worried about the way that Chloe would be treated by everyone once they found out that they were dating.

  She sighed heavily, stifling tears. We only had a few months to go until we would have been free.

  Sabrina stood aside, watching the chaos. She reveled in Tori’s pain, finally feeling retribution for the way that Tori had treated her for most of their lives. She would no longer stand in Tori’s shadow; now Sabrina would be the most popular girl, the head cheerleader, and the one dating the star quarterback—and Tori would spend the rest of the year being ridiculed and shunned.

  There’s only one more thing I need to do, she thought, dialing a number on her cell. “Hello, Mrs. Reynolds?” she sniffled, feigning sobs. “I think there’s something you should know…”

  Chapter 26

  Tori felt the dregs of energy drain from her body as she sank into bed. Her voice was almost gone, her fingers were sore from texting, and her throat was parched as she continued to defend herself and explain what had actually happened. She was tempted to turn off her phone as she slumped onto her bed, burying her face into her pillows.

  Her phone had been dinging with phone calls and texts since she’d left the principal’s office. Everyone kept asking if the rumors were true—if she was really a lesbian and if she’d really tried to force Sabrina to have sex with her in the locker room shower. She vehemently denied Sabrina’s allegations, but she had a feeling that no one believed her and that the harassment wouldn’t be coming to an end any time soon.

  Ignoring the ring tone for the twentieth time that hour, she decided that she’d had enough. She turned off her phone and changed into her comfiest pajamas, a night of movies and forgetting her problems sounding like the best plan for her evening. She’d eventually call Chloe to let her know what had actually happened after practice, but she needed a nap and some silence before then. She got under her comforter and buried her face in her pillow once more, ready to tune out the world for a while.

  Just as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard her bedroom door creak open. She sat up and noticed her parents in her doorway. Judging by the looks on their faces, she knew that someone had called them about the fight.

  “Victoria, we got a call from your school today,” her father said. “They said you were suspended for fighting and were kicked off of the cheerleading squad. Is that true?”

  Tori sighed, removing the covers and sitting upright. “Yes, Dad, that’s right.”

  “What happened?” her mother asked.

  “One of the girls on the squad started taunting me, and then she pushed me, so I defended myself. I did go a little too far, but it wouldn’t have happened if she hadn’t provoked me.”

  “That’s not what we heard,” her father said sternly.

  Tears welled in Tori’s eyes. “That’s what happened, Dad. There are a lot of rumors going around, but I swear to you that I am telling the truth!”

  “Are you a lesbian, Victoria?” he demanded as her mother cringed. He glared at her, waiting for an answer.

  Tori closed her eyes, her heart racing. I don’t know if I should tell him, she thought. He looks so angry already, and I know he’s not going to take it well. If I lie now, though, he might get even angrier when I eventually tell him. He’s going to find out eventually.

  Tori drew in a deep breath and nodded, her eyes darting back and forth between her parents as she braced herself for their reaction.

  Her mother buried her face into her husband’s arm as her shoulders began heaving.

  Her father’s face grew even redder as his wife began to cry. He glared at Tori. “That is unacceptable!” he exclaimed. “It’s a disgrace to this family and God!”

  Tori began crying as her father’s words pierced her heart. “Daddy, no! I didn’t choose this! It’s just who I am!”

  He pursed his lips, putting his arm around his wife to console her. “It’s just who you are? Homosexuality is a sin against God! It’s blasphemy!”

  Tori got out of bed and hurried over to her parents. He turned his head, crossing his arms as he avoided eye contact. “Daddy, please try to understand! I’ve tried dating guys, but it just never felt right! I don’t belong with men. It feels wrong. Can’t
you understand? I’m not a bad person, Dad. I’m the same person I’ve always been.” She reached out to touch his arm, but he nudged her away.

  Her mother began crying even harder. “We can get you help, Victoria,” she insisted. “Your father and I can enroll you at a treatment center that can fix you! Our church has connections with one of the facilities…”

  Tori took a step back, her gut filling with rage. “‘A treatment center?’ ‘Fix me?’ I’m not sick or broken, and this isn’t some disease! It’s who I am! I can’t give it up like some sort of addiction! It’s part of me, and it always has been!”

  Her father’s eyes narrowed into slits as he shook his head furiously. “I won’t allow this type of behavior in my home!” he growled. “No daughter of mine is going to be a lesbian! You’ll make us a laughingstock! The church will kick us out! We’ll become outcasts! How can you do this to us?”

  “It’s not like I did this on purpose to hurt you!” Tori cried, tears streaming down her face.

  “Yes, well, look at what you’ve done to your mother,” he said, pointing to his wife who was now slumped on the floor and bawling hysterically. “I will not sit idly by and watch you callously dishonor your own family! If you don’t try to change, you’re out of this house!”

  Tori’s eyes grew wide, and her breath caught in her throat at her father’s words. “You can’t do that! I’m your daughter! You’re supposed to always be here for me and love me no matter what! I can’t just change who I am!”

  “You can and you will!” her father commanded.

  “Dad, Mom, think about it!” Tori pleaded. “You never raised me to be gay, so how do you think this happened? It’s not some decision I just made out of the blue; it’s who I am, who I’ve always been! I’ve just finally chosen to accept it!”

  “You’re damn right we didn’t teach you to be this way!” her father bellowed. “This behavior is no doubt something that you picked up at school. You’ve taken everything we’ve given you and shat it back in our faces. I refuse to support my daughter as she travels down the fast track to hell!”