“I’m not sure. Maybe you should tell me.” Allison observed her solemnly from across the table.
A chill shot through Diane as if ice water had been pumped into her veins. How had Allison guessed? She quickly poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down. “Neither Gary nor Thomas has any influence over whether I stay or go,” she stated crisply.
“Then you’re not trying to punish that jerk by taking Thomas as your lover?”
Their eyes met across the table. Diane looked away, horrified, unable to answer her. Was that what she’d been doing? Please, it had to be more than that!
“You see, I—” Allison brushed her long, blond hair out of her eyes and closed her hands around her coffee cup but did not drink. “—I saw Thomas leaving your bedroom this morning.”
Diane felt her cheeks radiate white-hot. She couldn’t lie to her sister, but she couldn’t very well tell her the truth, either. Allison was loyal to her, but she would never keep secrets from Jacob.
“I…I don’t know what to say,” Diane whispered.
Allison stared into her coffee. “He’s a wonderful man, Thomas. A kind, generous, fiercely protective friend and ally to Jacob, and to me and the children. We all love him dearly.”
“I know,” Diane said.
“I don’t want to see him hurt. But—” she held up a hand when Diane opened her mouth to protest “—I know you wouldn’t intentionally do anything to harm him. It’s you I’m more worried about.”
Diane reached for the bun on her plate. Although her stomach was churning, she needed something to keep her hands busy. She tore off a bit and forced it into her mouth, chewed and swallowed without tasting it. “I can take care of myself.”
“I’m sure you can, if you have all the information needed to make a sensible decision.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I mean, you don’t know Thomas very well, but Jacob’s very close to him, and we’ve talked about him a lot.”
“So fill me in.” Diane’s skin prickled with anticipation. She was hungry to learn all she could of the man who had introduced her to passion.
“You realize he’s not just a royal flunky.”
“Son of a British earl, yes.”
“Exactly. And an aristocrat in his own right—the Earl of Chichester, who will become Earl of Sussex when his father dies. Did you also know he is one of the wealthiest men in England?”
Diane stared at her sister. “He works for Jacob. I figured he needed a job to support himself.”
Allison shook her head slowly. “When Thomas turned twenty-one, his father gave him his inheritance. Something in the six figure-area, according to Jacob. The Earl told him to do with it as he would. I gather the money was awarded less out of love than as a means of cutting the few ties that remained between them. Goodbye, so long, have a good life—that sort of thing.”
Diane was astounded. “How cold!”
“To us, yes. Apparently, Thomas hadn’t expected anything more from his father. At that time he was in the British Army, training in an elite commando squad. He had no need for money and, disdaining his father’s gift, he invested most of it in a fledgling computer company that became one of the most successful businesses in the world.”
Diane began to get the picture. “Oh my,” she said, exhaling. “But I don’t understand. Why does Thomas work at all?”
Allison shrugged. “He seems to have been looking for a place to belong, and he found it with the von Austerands. But basically he’s a loner. Always will be, I suspect.”
“He has a social life. He dates.”
“Oh, yes. He does like the ladies.” Allison laughed. “But he never mixes business or his professional life with his holiday trips. Most of the women we never even see. A few are allowed to attend a palace function, but there’s rarely a return visit.” Allison fixed her with a meaningful look.
“You’re afraid he’ll dump me?”
“I just think you should be aware that he’s not the type of man who sticks around for long or changes for a woman.”
“Jacob changed,” Diane pointed out. “He was the ultimate playboy.”
Allison smiled. “Yes, and I’ll be forever thankful he reformed himself for me and for Cray. But you can’t count on that happening with Thomas. He’s been a bachelor all of his forty years. That’s a long time to establish habits.”
Diane thought about Thomas’s reluctance to let their affair become public. “How would Jacob feel about my sleeping with his chief advisor?”
Allison’s face darkened. “That’s the other issue I wanted to talk to you about. He tolerates Thomas’s discreet liaisons because of his own past, I suspect, but also because they never involve the inner circle here at court and never interfere with our work. A lot of business gets done in short order here, and Thomas is on call twenty-four hours a day. Jacob depends upon him implicitly.”
“I see.”
“There’s more. Although we employ married couples, affairs among the staff might enable political intrigue. Elbia’s a small country, but it’s allied to many larger ones and we are privy to secret information. Jacob has dismissed offenders in the past whose indiscretions threatened either our neighbors’ security or ours. As a show of impartiality he might ask for Thomas’s resignation if he thought you two—”
“Enough,” Diane said weakly, “I understand.” And so did Thomas, she realized now. This was why he’d been so cautious about allowing himself to become intimate with her. But what either of them could do about it now, she didn’t know. She hurt inside when she thought about giving him up. “Will you give us a few days to work things out before you say anything to Jacob?”
Allison smiled softly. “I can do that.” She reached across and touched her sister’s arm. “I’m sorry. I wish I could do or say something to make this easier. I’d have warned you sooner, but I couldn’t have guessed. You and Thomas—” She shrugged.
“I know,” Diane admitted. “It took me by surprise, too.”
The days that followed were as bittersweet as the rich Schokoladetortes sold in the bakery in the town below the castle. Diane spent as much time with Thomas as possible. Whenever he could excuse himself from work, he would seek her out in the garden, the private rooms of the castle, or the village. He had a knack for knowing where she would be at any given time, although she often wandered across the grounds or through the shop-lined streets without announcing her destination to anyone.
Each night they made love. Diane wondered how she’d ever slept alone, and before that how she’d slept with a man she didn’t love. She became addicted to a new sleeping position. She curled into Thomas’s chest, placed her cheek on the muscled pad over his heart, nestled her lips against the soft mat of dark hair, crooked her knee to angle her leg over his hips. Lying with him beneath the cool sheets, she slept so blissfully and deeply she was amazed to be able to wake the next morning.
Yet, in the back of her mind, Diane knew time was working against them. Soon Allison would feel obligated to inform Jacob of their affair. Before that time came she must tell Thomas that Allison knew their secret. Then he would decide whether to go to Jacob himself or break off with her. With each hour that passed, she told herself she shouldn’t put off leaving for home any longer. But it was hard to let go of happiness when it had been so long in coming.
One day, nearly a week after the grand ball, Thomas found her alone in the family dining room and, after looking around to make sure no one was watching, kissed her softly on the cheek. “There is a telephone call for you. Jacob sent me to find you. It’s your mother.”
“The children…has something happened—”
“Don’t panic.” Thomas smiled reassuringly at her. “Jacob spoke with her. He says it sounds like good news, although he didn’t explain what that meant.”
The stab of tension immediately felt less severe. Good news? She couldn’t imagine what that meant. Unless little Gare had finally learned to put his face in the water while
swimming. His brother and sister had been working with him all last summer, but he’d still been terrified.
“Are you eating lunch now?” she asked.
“I was going to.” He looped his strong arms around her waist. “Unless you have a better suggestion.”
She laughed at him. “I’ll go see what’s up in Florida, then be back to eat with you, wicked man.”
She dashed out of the room, still tingling from the devilish twinkle in his dark eyes. The stairs to the floor above, where Jacob’s office was located, were cut from native stone and twisted around a central column of gargoylelike creatures in whimsical poses. She thought how much her children would love exploring the endless corridors and the dozens of rooms with secret passages leading between them.
Jacob looked up when she knocked. He waved her in, seeming relieved to hand the receiver over to her. “Yes, Mrs. Fields, she’s here now. I’ll say goodbye for the time being. Good health to you, too.”
Diane covered the receiver quickly. “She talked your ear off, didn’t she?”
Jacob shrugged good-naturedly as if to say, “What else would you expect of a mother-in-law?”
“Hi, Mom,” Diane said, laughing to herself. Leave it to her mother to tie up a king with mundane news from home. “How are the kids?”
“Oh, they’re having a marvelous time, just marvelous. In a way I hate to see their visit end so soon, but I know it’s for the best.”
“End?” Diane echoed.
“Why, yes, hasn’t Gary called you yet?”
“N-n-n-o,” she said slowly. It felt as if a noxious vapor was seeping into her lungs with each breath—burning her from the inside out. “Why should he call me?”
“Well, I thought…I mean, when he asked for you and I told him you were in Europe with your sister…”
“Why did he call?” Diane asked, fighting for control.
“Well, from the way he was talking, I had the feeling he wanted to get back together with you.”
“He what?” She didn’t believe it for a minute. Her mother must be insane.
“Well, he is the father of your children. I’m sure it’s possible he’s had a change of heart and is willing to put the past behind him.”
“I doubt the man could have a change of heart, since he never had one to begin with.”
“Now, Diane, dear, I know it’s not easy to leave the bitterness behind, but—”
“But nothing, Mother!” she snapped, despite her intention to remain calm. “The man is incapable of honest emotion, at least toward me. You must have read a lot into whatever he said.”
“But don’t you want to be a family again?” her mother asked.
That did it. All the guilt, all the disappointment and heartache and emptiness washed back over her. “A family,” she said slowly, “does not require the presence of a man like Gary Fields. We will do just fine without him.”
As she hung up the phone a few moments later, it was clear to Diane that although her mother meant well, she didn’t have a clue how impossible living with Gary had been. It was certainly all the more clear to Diane herself, now that she’d learned what being with a real man could be like. Thomas made her laugh, made her happy just to be alive. He encouraged her dreams instead of crushing them. He excited her to heights she’d never believed possible, and he satisfied her every longing.
But she couldn’t explain any of that to her parents. They’d be appalled. Diane sighed.
Jacob looked up at her. “I’m sorry. I should have left the room and given you some privacy.”
She waved off his concern. “Never mind, it was another of my mother’s attempts to deny my divorce.”
“You don’t think Gary called her?”
“Oh, I have no doubt he did call.” Her sudden, brittle laugh was without humor. “Why he called, that’s the question. I can’t believe that after nearly a year of separation, he suddenly wants to return to married life.”
“He’s finally come to his senses?”
“What senses?” she groaned.
Someone knocked at the half-open door.
“Yes,” Jacob said.
Thomas stepped into the room. “Will you be having lunch with the family, sir, or should I bring you a tray?”
Although he was questioning Jacob, his eyes strayed toward Diane.
“I’ll be right down,” Jacob said, then turned back to her. “So what will you do if your mother is right and Gary does want to reconcile?”
Thomas’s expression gave away nothing, but she felt a tremor pass through the air between them. “I’ll tell him to go fly a kite.”
Jacob nodded. “I don’t blame you. The odds of his reforming at this point aren’t good. But if you do decide to leave early, just let me know and I’ll have Thomas make the necessary arrangements.”
“Thank you.” She turned and, still feeling Thomas’s eyes on her, left the room. She was halfway down the long hallway before he caught up with her.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Nothing. At least nothing that concerns us.”
“It didn’t sound that way to me.” His voice was strained, his eyes dark and troubled. “Jacob said something about your ex wanting to reconcile. I assume that means he wants to come home to you and the children.”
“What Gary wants no longer matters,” she said firmly.
Thomas studied her expression as they walked. She had a sense of him holding his breath. He reached out and brushed the backs of his fingers along her cheek. “Is that really true?”
“Of course it’s true!” She stopped and swung around to face him. “I told you, I don’t love the man.”
“Even so, you may not be thinking this through clearly.”
Her irritation turned to pure fury. How dare he presume to tell her what or how she should be thinking! Her cheeks pinked, hot with rage, but he apparently didn’t notice.
“You need to look at the big picture,” he continued. “You and I, we’re all wrapped up in physical reactions, in a…an…” He hesitated.
“An affair?” she filled in the word he hadn’t wanted to say. “Is that all this has been for you? One of many short-lived, provocative interludes in your life?” She felt as if her skin was throwing sparks. Her eyes were hot and stinging. Her bottom lip quivered traitorously. “You’re about to tell me to go back to him, aren’t you?”
Thomas took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m just encouraging you to slow down and think about what you are doing…what we are doing. What’s best for the children, and for you in the long run? That’s the important thing.”
She backed away from him, struck cold by his words. “No, you’re not thinking about me or my kids. You’re looking for an escape hatch.”
“That’s not true, Diane!”
“It is,” she murmured dully, and started to turn away.
An iron grip around her upper arm stopped her and swung her back to face him. Suddenly he had her in his arms, trapped against his massive chest. She struggled, but he only tightened his hold.
“Listen to me!” he growled. “This isn’t the way I want it to be, either, but you were leaving in a few weeks anyway, right? That’s what we’d agreed. The very most we could have would be the summer. Then you were returning to Connecticut to be with your children and start a new life. Isn’t that so?”
When she didn’t immediately answer, he gave her a little shake. She cleared the thickness from her throat and rasped, “Yes!”
“Gary may be a fool for neglecting you, then leaving you for another woman, but he is your children’s father. If there’s any chance that he might change and—”
“No!” she shouted.
“Listen!” He shook her harder. “I know you’re a strong woman and could make it on your own. But children need a father, and it seems he wants to try to be there for all of you. You know I can never marry you and become something I’m not. If I thought there was even a chance, don’t you think I’d t
ry?”
She couldn’t endure looking him in the eyes any longer. “I…I don’t know,” she sobbed. “Thomas, let me go.”
“It’s for the best,” he murmured dully.
“No,” she whispered. “No, it’s not.”
Slowly his grip loosened and she felt the blood rush back into her arms with a heavy throb. She felt dizzy and weak and wanted desperately to lean on him, but showing emotional frailty now would buy her nothing. She sensed his determination to let her go, forever, and that hurt more than she could ever say. He was willing to give her away to another man, without a fight, without even blinking.
She stepped back from him, turned and set her shoulders, then held her chin high and walked away.
Eight
Thomas felt as if the weight of the universe had settled upon his shoulders. Telling Diane she should go home to a man she didn’t love, telling her it was best for everyone concerned, had been the most difficult thing he’d ever done. But did he have any choice?
Gary apparently hadn’t been much of a husband to Diane, but they had a history that included three children. He, Thomas, could satisfy her in bed and afford to give her luxuries. But how long would it be before he’d succumb to his fate and walk out of her life, leaving her shattered? Giving up Diane was the right thing to do, he told himself for the hundredth time. She must return to her own world, and he must re-dedicate himself to the life he’d chosen with his royal family.
Nevertheless, guilt still gnawed at him. Every time he was alone in a room with Jacob, he felt himself tense. He’d never been anything but absolutely honest with the young man who had become king. And so, that evening, while the two of them were working alone in Jacob’s office, Thomas turned to him.
“There is something you need to know, Your Highness.”
Jacob didn’t look up from the wide, elegantly carved desk, but a shadow of a smile lifted his lips. “This sounds serious. Have you knocked up a contessa?” His unexpected humor made the job all the harder.
“No, sir. It’s far worse, I’m afraid.”
The Earl Takes A Bride (Elbia Series Book 2) Page 11