He laughed, it was deep and husky, as if he was remembering it with way too much fondness. “You really want to know?” he replied when he had finished laughing at my expense.
“Sorta,” I whispered and swiped my hand at his shoulder as he started to laugh again. “This is serious! I need to know how bad I was.”
“You weren't bad, you were sexy as fuck. You took your first blood from my cock.” His mouth smiled wickedly, as he enjoyed torturing me with the explicit details.
“No,” I shook my head in disbelief. “There’s no fucking way I did that. I bit your cock? Did you scream at least?” I was shocked and kinda glad I couldn't remember that part.
“No, your fangs are for pleasure. They’re not the same as Vlad's. You’re at least part Blood Fae, you can control blood and anything to do with it. Vlad's are to feed, and if necessary, fight. His father was Horde.”
“So I don’t need to drink blood?” Oh hell—say no. For all that's holy, say no!
“No, but you will take it for pleasure. How are you feeling, besides being sore?”
“Like I should hide my face. How many times did we…you know?”
“I lost count after seventy,” he whispered heatedly.
“That's a joke, right?”
“No,” he replied as his lips touched my ear. “I fucked you in every position, in every way I could, and you begged me for more. You took everything I gave you. You begged me, and it was the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen in my life. You fed perfectly.”
Heat flooded my body as I turned and watched the blur of peach color that moved closer. “You suck,” I mumbled.
“No, Baby, you suck, and you do it very fucking well.” He kissed my lips and held my face in place as I tried to pull away from him. “Oh, I don't think so. We've been together in every way possible, and you think you can pull away now? You're going to have to feed, and it's going to be every few days until you can balance your system out, or you could die. Who do you plan on feeding from?”
“You, duh, Ryder. I'm not the type to sleep around, even if I am a fucking Fairy now.”
Chapter Twelve
I stared at my reflection, unable to look away. I had high cheekbones, higher than they used to be at least. My face was smooth, the small scars I’d earned by enforcing the laws—gone. My eyes had the thin black line around them that Ryder’s had. Otherwise, they were the same, blue and purple two-tone coloring my eyes had changed to after my first meltdown, minus the glow shining back at me from the mirror. Hunger. I blinked and took in every fine detail. I was changed. I had perfect skin now, and my hair was thicker, and a little longer than it had been before Transition.
My brands were now formed, with delicate lines that kissed and caressed my flesh. They flowed up my arms and settled on my shoulders. They were dark red, and beautiful. The brands had also formed a Celtic triple spiral knot at the top of each of my shoulders. I remembered in some of my studies back at the Guild that this type of knot represented three stages of a woman—maiden, mother, and wise woman.
I licked my fangs and shook my head. I had flipping fangs. I looked up from my little self-discovery session to find Ryder watching me. He’d put on jeans that sat low on his sexy hips, but had left his shirt off. His smile drew my eyes up to it briefly. Hunger drew them down to his sexy six-pack, and lower to the thin, dark kiss of hair that led into his pants. That happy-trail led to what my hunger wanted.
“Not the monster you’d thought yourself to be?” He asked, moving across the room to stand behind me. He pulled me back against himself, and I felt his already—hard cock press against my bare backside.
“How do I make the fangs go away?” I asked, trying to make my mind work past the feel of his desire.
“They will go away on their own, Pet. They will come and go with the hunger though.”
“I can’t just make them go away like Vlad does?” I asked. I wanted them gone now. They were a reminder that I had changed, as were the ache between my thighs; which reminded that he’d abused me in ways I’d enjoyed.
He smiled over my head as I watched our reflection. We looked Fae, and I wasn’t sure how to process it. I was now immortal. Or, basically, it wouldn’t be official until I was fully out of Transition. I could already feel my hunger growing for this man, and it had little to do with actual hunger.
“Mmm, already hungry, Pet?” he said wickedly against my ear.
“How often do I have to feed?” I asked, turning around in his arms to face him.
“Every few days. Right now, your body is changing and needs to feed often. Later, you will be able to go for weeks at a time between feeding. Without it, you would become sick, and eventually you would succumb to hunger and, yes, you would die. Starvation is one of the few ways Fae can die.”
I nodded and met his eyes, watching as his glow crept into his beautiful amber orbs. I swallowed and considered my options. I was hungry, and he’d feed me. I wasn’t ready to ask him for sex, though, because, well…it felt weird asking him for anything.
“You are so beautiful, Pet,” he whispered softly, dropping a reassuring kiss to my forehead. It made my heart flutter in my chest. “Are you done hiding in here?”
“I wasn’t hiding,” I whispered as I placed my head against his chest and closed my eyes. I listened to his heart beating and wondered what it would be like if it beat for me.
“You have been in here for a while,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around me.
“I was trying to figure out how to shut off the second sight. I see everything too bright. It’s giving me a pounding headache.”
He laughed and pulled away. “That’s not second sight, Syn; that’s how we see.”
We.
“All the time?” I asked, looking up at his face. He was even more beautiful now. His skin was perfect.
“All the time,” he confirmed.
“So, before, when I was still human…” Why the hell would I ask him that? I’d been about to ask him if he thought I was beautiful before I’d Transitioned.
“You were beautiful then as well, Pet. You are strong and stubborn, but that soul of yours is undeniably beautiful. I know, because I’ve felt it from the inside when you stole part of mine. My soul was addicted to yours from the moment you stole it. I felt the pure untainted beauty of it. It only made me want to taste you more.”
I could have given some smart ass retort, and it might have gotten him to release his gentle hold. But, right then, I only wanted him to hold me and reassure me that I hadn’t become some fanged freak. “It’s not pure. I’m not a good person,” I whispered and looked up into his face.
“Why? Because you’ve killed those who failed to follow the rules of this world? That doesn’t make you a bad person.”
“I’m not talking about the Fae,” I whispered and tipped my face up to his.
He smiled and lowered his mouth to mine. His kiss was gentle, and I felt myself melting against him like butter in a frying pan. He picked me up and carried me easily into the bedroom. He didn’t take me to the bed. Instead, he pressed me against the wall and captured both of my hands in his much larger one.
The moment he had them above my head, he pulled away from my mouth and watched me. His sexy, self-assured smirk was back in place. “Is it bad that I want to keep you here, in Transition? I don’t want this to end,” he said, before he trailed kisses over my collarbone softly.
I didn’t answer him, because to do so would be to admit that I wanted to stay here with him. I liked being with him and the problem with that was I was falling for my enemy. He was hiding something from me. I’m not sure how I knew, but I had a feeling that when I discovered it, we’d forever be changed. He was more than he claimed to be—so much more.
“Are you sore?” he asked as he allowed me to slide down his body until my feet were on the floor.
“Yes,” I answered him, watching his eyes as he still held my hands above my head.
“I can fix that,” he replied, a
llowing his hands to glow with power. I instantly shivered and gasped. It was the second time I’d ever seen his hands ignite with his powers. The first time, he’d been using it to hurt people.
“No, leave it, please,” I whimpered as I felt his power start to enter my body.
“If you’re sore, Syn, I can fix it easily.”
“I like the feel of it. The reminder of what we did.”
He shook his head and claimed my mouth again, growling his approval as he did so. When he pulled away, I cried out from the loss of his mouth on mine. “Someone wants to see you, Pet,” he said grudgingly, as if it pained him to say it.
“Adam is out of Transition!?” I squeaked in half panic, half joy.
“He is,” he answered, and he kissed my neck again, as if he couldn’t get enough of me.
I brought my hands up and threaded them through his silky hair. “Is he okay?” I questioned him, even as his hand moved between my legs to press against my sensitive flesh. “He’s fine, he lived. I gave him my best girls to get him through it.” He smiled against my neck and whispered against my ear. “I like knowing your flesh is tender because I fucked it.”
I smiled and then watched as he sucked against my nipple while his eyes met mine. He pulled his mouth away, but only far enough that I could watch as he licked and ran his teeth over the pink tip. I moaned and felt moisture pooling as he continued.
He lifted his head and smiled. His magic wafted through me as he cleansed my body of all signs of Transition, and I noticed a shirt now covered his torso as he pulled away from me.
“You should get dressed before I end up taking you back to the bed, and spend the rest of the day between those pretty thighs of yours. You have an entire gathering up there awaiting you.”
“Huh?” I asked confused as I pushed off of the wall.
“Your boy toy is up there. He’s not very bright,” he whispered.
“Adrian is upstairs too? Can I see him?” I asked carefully.
“He is. I’m only going to say this once, Syn—keep your lips to yourself. He’s been warned now that you are mine. For as long as I have my mark on you, no one else will take liberties with you. Be careful with hunger, Pet. It belongs to me, for now. Remember that, so no one else will get hurt.”
“Ryder, get a grip. I’m not going to lose control this time. Last time was a mistake, and if I had been myself, it never would have happened.”
“So you say, but women are fickle creatures. I don’t share what is mine, and, right now, you are mine. Some women are free with their bodies. You are not to be one of them, understand me?”
“Not everyone works like that. Some need, and want to be loved by one man alone. When I love someone, I give them everything I have and don’t expect to get anything back in return for it. I’d never tear you down, Ryder; not if you were mine. Besides, you told me once before that love was worth fighting for.” He shook his head as his eyes narrowed. I wasn’t sure how we’d gotten into something this deep. He’d told me from the beginning that he wasn’t that kinda guy.
“I never asked for, or offered, you love, Synthia,” he snapped defensively.
I smiled sadly and stepped closer to him until I was close enough to kiss him. “That’s a shame, because this is what you could have had,” I whispered before claiming his lips and putting everything I had into the kiss until I heard his sigh, and felt his hands tremble as they landed on my waist, pulling me closer.
I didn’t want this. I wasn’t supposed to love the enemy. My hands came up to cup his face as I deepened the kiss, before pulling away to stare into his beautiful eyes. “That is what people spend eternity looking for. That’s why men go to war when they lose it.”
“You’re still thinking like a human. I’m Fae, and we don’t fall in love easily, if ever. We marry for gain, or to end wars.”
“I wasn’t asking for your love. I was showing what it would be like if you had mine,” I growled, before pushing away from him. I watched his angry back as he walked into the bathroom and closed the door so hard that the wood cracked in protest.
I stood rigid and finally moved across the room to dress. It took several moments to make my mind function and find the bag of clothes at the foot of the bed. I heard him re-enter the bedroom as I pulled on a black bra, thong, and jeans and slipped quickly into the black long sleeved shirt before turning around to face him. He had a mask on his emotions and stood stiff and rigid. Angry. “I already have you, Syn. I never asked for love.”
“Good, because I couldn’t give it to you while you owned me anyway. It would be missing the whole point of giving freely. You take because you can; because it's how you are. You have had me in every possible way, and, yet, you haven't had me yet. That's what pisses you off about Adrian. He's had me, all of me. He's had all of me willingly—without having to own me to do so.”
“What the fuck makes you think I care who you fucked freely? It only matters to me who you fuck while I own you, Synthia. Right now, you are mine. Don’t confuse fucking with any other emotion. I fuck, I feed. I don't need to make excuses for what I do to anyone. You need to get it through your stubborn little skull that I am Fae, and not one of your pathetic little humans.”
I pushed the angry tears away. “Good.”
“Good,” he growled back.
We walked stiffly together to the elevator, and stopped with him standing directly behind me. I stood firm and inflexible as his hand reached over my shoulder to punch in the code to get to the higher levels of the club. Neither of us said anything, but I could feel his eyes burning into my flesh at the back of my neck.
“Do you still love Adrian?” he asked quietly after a few moments had passed.
“Yes,” I replied crisply. “He was my first love. I may not love him as I did then, but there will always be love between us. Even when I marry, or he does, love doesn’t just go away. But, don’t worry… I'm no longer in love with him, but I will always love him.”
“Not if I got rid of him,” he growled, forcing me to turn around and face him.
“Jealous? Because, right now, you sound like a jealous lover. Why would it matter if I loved him? I'm your whore right now. Your contract said I couldn't have physical contact with another person sexually. I'm following your rules. You can't control what I feel and what I don’t. Your contract said nothing about emotions, Fairy.”
“I don’t get jealous often, and, when I do, I take care of the problem, and right now his mooning over you is a problem.”
“He's looking for closure. We grew up together. We were kids. Stupid kids that thought we could make something work. He isn't in love with me. He’s probably in love with the idea of being in love.”
“And yet you admit that you still love him.” He narrowed his bronze eyes on me.
“Yes, I also love Adam. I love Alden, and I loved Larissa. I still love Larissa; she's dead, but that doesn't make the love I have for her just shut off. If you had ever known love, you'd know this. Nothing can force love to go away. You grow apart, or grow up, but it's still there. You still care what happens to them, and if you make Adrian go away over that, then you're just showing how stupid you are. Even without him near, I'd still love him.”
“I'm not sure what I want to do more right now; strangle you, kiss you, fuck you, or all three.”
“I don’t suggest you try any of them right now. Right now, I’d do the first to you and forget the rest, Fairy.”
His smile was impishly sinful and dark. “I'd be careful. You could end up chained to the bed inside the room you just left. You’re still in Transition. I'd be within my rights to keep you locked up until you learn to sift without landing on your knees at my feet.”
“Go ahead! It doesn't mean I would need to feed while chained. It would only prove you need to own pretty things, Fairy. You think being Fae gives you the right to own me? Well, it doesn't. The only thing holding me here is the contract, and it's almost up. Remember that.”
He grinned, but it was a
nything but friendly. “It hasn’t slipped my mind, I assure you.”
I stepped into the elevator when the doors opened, and turned to face him with challenge lit inside my eyes. His smirk was gone and in its place was tension. He was already trying to figure out how to lock me into another contract. “I won't sign another one. Not even to save myself or anyone else. So, before you go threatening anyone I love—know this. I will not be owned by you anymore. I'm not a fucking pet, so stop trying to own me like one. If you want me, you need to start thinking like a human male and stop thinking like a fucking Fairy.”
“Keep in mind a few things. You will need to feed every few days for the first couple months following Transition or you can quickly starve and die—that is a fact. I will not allow that to happen while you are under my protection, either; not when it’s so easily fixed. You are a casteless Fae; by rights I can claim you. Unless you know where your family is, or where they come from. Hell, I might even be able to broker a deal to buy you.”
“Why the fuck would you?” I leveled an angry stare at him.
“Maybe I like fucking you,” he purred, letting his eyes trail down my body slowly.
“You have a hand, Ryder. I suggest you use it. I promise you won't like fucking me if you force anything else on me. I might be Fae now, but I'm still myself, and I still won't be your toy.”
He stepped forward and forced my back up against the glass wall of the elevator. His hands landed on either side of my head, and his face lowered to mine. “If I want you, nothing in this world or any other one will stop me. And, right now, I want you.”
“I want someone who actually wants me for who I am. Not someone who just wants to fuck me. You don’t want me, you want control of me. I’m not sure why you fail to see the difference. It’s an easy thing for me to see, but then I’m still thinking human,” I shot back at him.
“You have me, Synthia. What’s wrong with wanting beautiful things? All men want something beautiful in their lives. What’s wrong with controlling your body when we both know you like what I do to it?”
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