The Last City

by RMGilmour

  Until finally, she pleaded with him to stop.

  “Jordan, please, if you ever loved me…”

  “What did you just say?” he sneered. His fingers flexing once more around her throat, but he stopped himself. “Those words do not even belong in the same sentence. You feel no remorse, not for any of this, do you? The death, the pain you’ve caused. You deserve to live in torment, in the agony of feeling him ripped from you, again and again.”

  And I felt it once more, the pain tearing through him. The helplessness he’d felt at not being able to save his son. The pain I was sure, he’d meant only to direct at Shaylen, but it filled me as well. Pain that induced a deep-seated rage, and by her throat he lifted her off the floor. His intent was to do to her what Lena had once suggested, to rip her to pieces. But it was Lena that stepped forward. She placed one hand upon Jordan’s arm as though to stop him.

  “Jordan, not yet,” she said to him. “I need to find the others. I need Ekkehard.”

  He released Shaylen, and she dropped to the floor. But the moment she did, she disappeared, along with every member of her crew.

  “No,” Lena growled in frustration. “Aleric! Where are they?” she demanded.

  He turned back to his own screen, most likely scanning the building and surrounding area.

  “She is no longer on the planet,” he said to her.

  “It’s ok,” Mason said, holding up a hand. “I needed them to leave. When she gave me access to the colonies, she opened a link directly to her system. And while Lydia was supposed to be sending, I instead embedded an organic code that will work its way through every program she has touched and will touch. The Guardian will soon have complete access to Pelas, her entire fleet, and Ekkehard. We can track their every move. We’ll get to him,” he said, attempting to reassure Lena.

  I didn’t hear anything further. I was frozen, staring at Jordan, my heart was reaching for him, but I couldn’t move. His unblinking gaze fell only upon the floor, the last place Shaylen had been. And he fell to his knees. Finally, succumbing to the weakness, that the memories would drive anyone to.

  A hand alighted upon my shoulder, gently, as though calming me, trying to comfort me, but I doubted I would find any relief.

  And as I returned my thoughts to Jordan, the light that illuminated the room, flickered. The blue glow of the Spire dimmed, and the images of the colonies disappeared.

  “What’s happening?” Lena demanded.

  “The wards are attacking the militia base, while the Guardian is trying different power and particle combinations to penetrate their defenses,” Aleric told her, as he studied his screen.

  “Any luck?” she asked.

  Aleric shook his head. “We needed them to come here,” he tried to explain. “It was the only way we could access them.”

  “Lena,” Mason began. “I’m sorry, we couldn’t tell you. We…” but he stopped speaking when she reached for him, and wrestled him to the floor. Her was arm tight around his neck, as she pulled his head back.

  “You had no intentions of giving her the Spire, did you? You kept this from me, from us. Do you not trust us?”

  “I do,” he choked out. “But your first instinct was to destroy us to save your own world from them.”

  “We have a right to save our own world. All of this, needs to be destroyed. This technology should never have been built. Look at what she has done to your colonies. She used them. Every person, every living cell, used as fodder, an energy source. She drained every planet.”

  “Lena,” I began, needing to step in to save Mason. He only wanted to protect his people, his home. But my voice was weak from all that had happened, and the hand upon my shoulder gripped me tight, keeping me in place. Most likely a good thing. Lena didn’t need to be antagonized any more than she already was.

  “I almost killed you, because of him,” she snapped, with barely a glance in my direction.

  “You what?” Jordan asked, lifting himself out of his grief. He glanced first to her and then to me, and as he did, life seemed to resume within his eyes, as they sharpened and narrowed.

  But as he looked at me, really looked at me, I inwardly cringed under his stare. I felt a sinking sensation, drawing me down into a sadness, that I wasn’t sure I would be able to pull myself out of. Jordan had never intended for me or for anyone else, to be hurt. He was trying to save us from a fate worse than that which they’d already experienced.

  After all he’d been through, and tried to spare me from, I’d turned from him. I’d lost faith in him, again.

  The pain he’d kept locked away from me, was for good reason. I was sure he never wanted me to experience that memory and the depth of despair that traveled through him still. I didn’t want to think about how I had hurt him as well, when he was already in pain.

  Guilt flooded my chest. I was unworthy. I didn’t deserve all that was him, nor the love that he offered.

  As I stared back at him, I didn’t lower my gaze, I didn’t turn away. Instead, I stood before him, determined to be strong this time. Never again, would I doubt him. The guilt inside of me I could do nothing about, but I vowed I would never again, add to his pain.

  I watched him move toward me, one small step at a time, confusion crossed his face, but it was quickly followed by fear and anger.

  He lifted one hand toward me, and then his other. Shaking his head, and wording a soundless no. I tried to take a step backward, confused by his reaction, but I bumped into the person behind me. Their hand, once comforting around my shoulders, now gripped hard. Fingers dug into my flesh, painful, squeezing, and holding me in place. I began to turn, to apologize to whomever’s toes I’d stepped on, but when I looked up my breath caught in my throat.

  While lost in the fighting, and all that had happened around us, I’d forgotten all about my ward.

  “Lydia,” Jordan tried to call, but he’d lost all volume. Or perhaps, in my fear, I’d lost my hearing. With raised hands, reaching for me, he moved too slowly toward me.

  The ward pulled me to him, closing any distance between us, but as he did, a burning sensation began in my lower back. My head wobbled as I tried to move, tried to call to Jordan. My muscles melted from the fear the ward once more stirred within me. Everything, all my insides turned to water.

  After hearing Jordan’s call, and my feeble plea for help, all heads swung toward me. All of them, simultaneously.

  “I told you I’d never lie to you,” the ward breathed into my ear. “I could have spared you all of this. This pain, this heartache, but now it will never leave you. I offered you everything, I offered you peace, and you tore me to shreds. Again.”

  Time slowed down as I found Jordan’s eyes once more. He moved it seemed, in slow motion as he stepped or ran toward me, I couldn’t tell which. His mouth was open, screaming NO, but the sound was muffled beneath my roaring pulse, and my pounding heart. His arms were outstretched, reaching for me, but instead he stopped and pounded against a shield that now separated all of them from me and the ward.

  I tried to call to Jordan in my mind, but I wasn’t sure if my voice would work.

  “He can’t hear us. None of them can, remember? I’m in control here,” the ward told me, but his tone was different, more studious than emotional. “I need you in the Spire. You should have come peacefully when you had the chance. Lena almost sent you to me. Another moment and she would have succeeded. But now, you’ve left me with no choice, and no time.”

  He breathed into my ear once more before finishing in his initial emotional tone. “This is the only way for you. The painful way. They’ll have no choice, but to insert you. So, let’s finish what Lena started. While he watches.”

  At first, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to respond. I was desperate to stop what was coming, and upon opening my mouth, my voice rasped out the words, “Mason said the Guardian was with us, why is it letting you do this?”

  The burning sensation that had begun
in my lower back, slipped further inside me. My head fell forward to see white light shining from my insides, piercing through my stomach. The ward’s hand gripped my shoulder, and pulled me closer, to lean against his body. Slowly, the burning moved upward, and I watched through watery eyes, as the light carved its trail.

  The ward stroked my cheek with his, before planting a kiss. And he whispered, “I am the Guardian.”

  I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. Not even when the shield was brought down, and Jordan reached me with outstretched arms. He grasped my shoulders to pull me to him, as he tried to wrench me away from the ward, but it was too late. He couldn’t save me this time. The light continued its upward movement, and I watched my blood color his shirt, in brief spatters that moved up his chest.

  I rose my eyes to his one last time, I’m sorry, I tried to send to him, but I couldn’t be sure if he heard.

  ‘You’re not going anywhere,’ his voice came to me, but it was faint, and wavered with emotion. ‘You’re coming right back to me. You promised, remember…’

  His words faded. I couldn’t respond. Darkness took me from him, as the pain receded. And I joined the void once more.

  31

  Promises

  “Come back to me. You promised, remember?” His whispers reached me, like a thread in the dark, guiding me back to him, my home.

  I could have been dreaming. I always dreamed of him. I knew I wasn’t awake, but I wasn’t asleep either, for I could feel his voice move through me. The warmth within me sensed his presence, and as it sought to unite with his, I struggled to pull myself out of the darkness. But it held me under. Its weight was an ocean pressing me down, and I lacked the strength to lift myself out of its depths.

  I waited for the pain that I knew would soon overtake every sense. But it never came.

  I couldn’t open my eyes. There was a part of me though, that didn’t want my eyes to open. I didn’t want to discover the void surrounding me in its final conquest over my life. But I’d learned that there were worse things than the void. And perhaps I was my own ocean, keeping my own self down, afraid of what the light held.

  I hadn’t been prepared for what had come at me. Before the fighting had taken over the room, I had expected the ward to make an appearance, but more so in a frontal attack, a physical onslaught of his will upon mine, for which I had hoped I was ready. I was not, however, expecting the burning light that had broken me in two. I was not prepared for the torturous realization that had spread across Jordan’s face. If the ward had not killed him too, that image of me, would be just one more that would haunt him to the end of his days. And I wished for a way to take that away.

  As these thoughts and memories passed through me, I knew I had been inserted. I had to have been. There was no way Mason could have saved me. But if I could feel Jordan, then he was there with me, too.

  I struggled once more to lift myself out of the darkened depths. But not even a hint of light made it through my eyelids. There was only darkness, and that sense of him. I knew he was there, I knew he was waiting, but the struggle was too much. And as I drifted back under the ocean I held onto my thoughts, my memories, and I sensed my trembling emotions as images of Jordan swept through me.

  Let him be ok.

  Consciousness came and went with the tide, but his presence never left me. His warmth was always around me, and his soul kept mine always within reach.

  He was the light to offset the shadow, like the sunlight across the ocean, defining my presence within the darkness. Without him, I would have been absorbed by the void, an indiscernible silence that faded away to nothing.

  His voice sounded through me again and again, his words pleading with me to return. Too often, my only response was a slight stirring of my soul as it moved with his. But moments came where his voice was louder, clearer, distinct. The sense of him grew until he was not just in my mind, but I could feel him as well. And the weight of the ocean lifted from me.

  “You promised, remember?” I’d missed this, his voice in my ear, his hand as it brushed my cheeks. The feeling of his lips, soft upon mine, and his warm breath as it filled me. I cherished every sound, every movement, each simple touch, for it meant I was with him once more.

  I eased my eyes open, and waited for the blurriness to clear before I found his face, hovering inches from mine. Exhaustion pulled at his eyes even as they tried to smile.

  “Not my fault this time,” I whispered. The last time I’d died, I’d promised him I never would again.

  However, as I studied his face the memories swept through me and the guilt once more blurred his features.

  “Jordan,” I tried, but couldn’t continue.

  His face lowered, and I closed my eyes as his cheeks wiped the moisture away from mine. His lips caressed my eyes, and then planted a slow path to my mouth.

  When I could no longer feel his touch upon my skin, I opened my eyes to see his peering down at me once more. His face was so close, that if I’d lifted my chin I could have kissed him. But I didn’t. The guilt renewed its path within me. He had been filled with pain, and all I had done was doubt him.

  “I’m sorry,” I managed to rattle out. I needed to beg his forgiveness. I needed to earn back his trust. I would never doubt him again.

  But more important than the pain I must have caused him, was that he’d lost something more precious than words or feelings could ever express. The very heart of his existence, torn from him, erased, right in front of him. “I’m sorry,” I tried again, but for a very different reason.

  “Shh,” he whispered, and placed one soft finger upon my lips. “You could never have guessed at what was inside me. I had to keep it from you. From everyone. When I finally released the pain from those memories, I wanted that pain, all of it, to be directed at her. You were not meant to feel it. No one in that room, except her, was meant to feel that. But when I finally released the emotion, I couldn’t contain it,” his words ended in a choking sigh. The memories filled him once more, and as they did they also filled me. I wanted to hold him, to comfort him, but all I could manage was releasing my soul to gently caress his.

  “And besides,” he continued. “I put you in harm’s way. I should be apologizing to you.”

  “No,” I said, and tried to raise my hand to him, but it didn’t move. “It’s like you said, no one would have been able to keep me away.”

  He tried to smile at my words, but I could feel that emotion was not even close to surfacing within him.

  “I knew you were close. I hoped you would hear me. Understand me. I didn’t have to sense you, or see you to know you were there.” He smoothed the hair away from my face, his fingers stroking my temple as he did. “And they would have kept you away, if that had been the safest option. I tried to keep you away, keep you safe. But Shaylen wanted you gone. She actually thought I would join her. And Mason knew she wouldn’t hurt you, once she knew what you had.”

  Jordan’s hand caressed my temple once more, and as he did, I realized that his soft touch was all that I could feel. I lowered my gaze as much as I could, and saw him leaning across me, with one arm planted beside me, holding his weight off me. I tried to reach up once more, wanting to pull him down onto me, to crush me with his weight, but my hand wouldn’t budge. I couldn’t even bend a finger. I tried to raise my other arm, roll my foot, turn my head, but nothing worked. I knew I was breathing, I could feel my chest rise and fall as my lungs filled with his every exhale. And his voice, I could feel roll through me, as every minute sound filled every space within me.

  But my eyes and my mouth were my only body parts that I could make move upon command.

  “What’s wrong with me?” I couldn’t even feel a bed or a table beneath me. I could have been laying on a pile of rocks and not know it. I didn’t want to panic. There had to be a reason. He wouldn’t be so calm if there was something wrong.

  “Don’t move. Don’t even try.”

  “Why?”


  He swallowed, but kept his face steady. He was trying to hold back the emotion, but I wished he wouldn’t. I needed to know how bad it was.

  “Your body was sliced up its very center,” he choked on the words. “The ward…”

  “But I’m alive…”

  “Yes, very much so,” he whispered, and kissed the corner of my mouth.

  “How? Was I inserted?”

  “No,” he said, and groaned before he continued. “The moment Mason saw what was happening, he knew what the ward’s intention was. And knew not to insert you. Instead, Sater healed you. He’s very good, even Mason was impressed.”

  “But why can’t I move?” I was relieved that I hadn’t ended up in the Spire, but at the same time panic was still close to the surface, ready to take over.

  “Sater has you immobilized until he’s certain you are one hundred percent,” he replied.

  “But all I can feel is your touch, there’s nothing else. Why can’t I feel anything else?”

  “Your body is suspended in the air, just a fraction off the bed. Part of his healing process.”

  The panic eased off, but only somewhat.

  “Is he sure I’ll heal right?”

  The corners of his mouth curled up as he said, “He knows you will.” His smile was reassuring.

  He lowered himself to my side, careful not to touch me as he did, and I relished the warmth of his breath upon my neck and my shoulder. His hand slid around my palm, and his fingertips traced my hand, carefully, not moving me. I loved the feeling of his gentle touch, but I couldn’t turn to see his face.

  And upon hearing my thought, he whispered, “I’m not going anywhere.”

  However, instead of him, I could now see the ceiling. Golden-brown sails, rising high above us, whipped in the wind, though I felt no breeze upon me. It wasn’t our tree-house. For we were in a rather large room with open walls, interspersed with squared-off columns that were carved from rock, the color of English oak. All of which, formed a delicate design overhead as they curved upward to meet at a single point in the middle.