by Jody Morse
“And he’s been gone for two,” I pointed out. “Is the coven really better off with someone who will just abandon them?”
“Even so, he’s much more qualified to deal with all of this than I am,” Sebastian insisted.
“That’s why you should consider yourself lucky.”
His eyebrows shot up in question. “Lucky why?”
“That you have me, silly.” I leaned in closer to him and, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulled him against me. “Remember that I’ve been the only ruler of the Allegro kingdom for the past five years. Not as long as your father, of course, but long enough to learn how to effectively manage and keep order of a coven. Between you and me, things will be golden around here.”
“I suppose,” he mumbled.
“Anyway, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” I continued, swiftly changing subjects. “What would you say if I told you there was a way we could prevent Caroline from taking over or Kade from becoming the next heir to the throne?”
“I would say I’m intrigued,” Sebastian replied. Then he frowned. “Unless you’re suggesting that we have a child.”
“That’s not what I’m suggesting,” I said, shaking my head.
“Then continue.”
I met his light blue eyes. “So, I know that we originally agreed that when we got married, we would eliminate the Allegro Coven, but... what if we didn’t? What if, instead, we eliminate the Stark Coven?”
He held my gaze. “You want me to become Sebastian Allegro.”
“Yes, that’s essentially what would happen,” I agreed with a nod.
“I thought you were ready—and willing—to lose what remained of the Allegro kingdom when you married me.”
“I was. And I am. Trust me. There is nothing that I want more than to destroy what remains of the Allegro,” I told him. “But I also want our future as the most powerful King and Queen of the vampire world to be set in stone. If that means we have to merge into the Allegro Coven, rather than the Stark Coven... then so be it.”
“Hmm.” His eyes flicked away from mine and moved past me. He looked thoughtful, as though he were actually giving it some consideration.
I held my breath, hoping he would go along with this. If he did... Well, I would have felt a lot better about everything.
When his eyes moved back to mine, he shook his head. “I can’t do that. I’m sorry. If my father were to ever find out that I took the name of someone who he viewed as an enemy...” He trailed off.
You care too damn much about what your father thinks, Sebastian.
That was what I wanted to say, but of course I couldn’t. I knew that I was walking on thin ice. I didn’t want to say anything that could potentially change his mind about marrying me when our wedding was just hours away.
“I do have another suggestion, however,” Sebastian went on.
My eyebrows lifted. “Oh? I’m listening.”
“What if we formed our own coven? Rather than carrying on the name of the Stark Coven or the Allegro Coven, we create a new coven. A coven of our own, a coven with our own rules and policies.”
“I could get on board with that,” I agreed with a nod. “Of course, it raises the question: where shall we live?”
“Hmm.” He hesitated for a moment. “I suppose we could flip a coin.”
“That seems fair.” I smiled.
“I just can’t believe that the Stark and Allegro kingdoms will be no more,” Sebastian murmured.
I noted the odd look that had crossed his face. “You’re not going to change your mind on this, are you?”
His eyes flicked up to meet mine. “No, I don’t foresee myself backing out of this. I’m fairly certain that it’s the right thing. It just feels... strange.”
I nodded my understanding. “A world without both of our covens will be strange, but I’m convinced that it will be for the greater good.” I paused for a moment. “What should the name of our coven be?”
Sebastian shrugged. “I’m not sure, but I don’t think we’ll be able to come up with something at this very moment.”
“True. It is a very big day for us,” I replied, my eyes locking on his. “Are you excited?”
“As excited as I’ll ever be,” he murmured.
“Good.” I moved in closer to him, allowing my lips to linger just over his as I whispered, “I’ve never been more excited for anything in my life.”
Except, even as I said the words, I knew it was a lie. There was something that I was looking forward to far more than marrying Sebastian.
I couldn’t wait to get my hands on his precious little slave.
Chapter 34
Lila
TO SAY I HADN’T GOTTEN a peaceful night’s sleep would have been an understatement.
I had barely slept at all, and it had nothing to do with trying to sleep on the beach. It had taken some searching, but I’d actually found a hammock strung between two palm trees. No, it wasn’t my sleeping conditions that had been the problem.
It was my mind that hadn’t allowed me to get a peaceful night’s rest.
All I could do was think about my exchange with Sebastian. What was it that had caused his emotions to shift so suddenly? Things had seemed to be going so well, and then... well, I didn’t know what had happened. I didn’t know what had caused him to act that way out of nowhere.
All I did know was that, for some crazy reason, I’d believed him when he said he loved me.
Part of me wondered if I was crazy for believing, but I quickly shook that thought away. Sebastian’s love for me complicated things. His life would have been so much easier if he didn’tlove me. Rather than trying to keep me hidden from Alessandra and finding a safe place for me, he could have just killed me... or whatever he did with his other slaves.
It was clear that he wouldn’t have gone through all of this effort if he didn’t truly love me.
When I finally pulled myself out of the hammock, I figured it must have been late in the afternoon. My stomach growled as I situated myself on the beach blanket.
There was no doubt that life was boring here, living in isolation like this. I hoped Sebastian could figure out some other arrangement for me, a place where I would be safe and less bored.
“I’m sorry, Lila. I’m sorry for last night.”
I glanced over my shoulder to see him stand there. When his blue eyes locked on mine, it was easy to see the guilt behind them.
“I forgive you.”
“Why?” He looked dumbfounded.
“Because you’re you,” I replied simply.
Sebastian sat down on the blanket next to me. “That doesn’t explain why I deserve your forgiveness.”
“Sure it does.” I turned to him and stared into his blue eyes, which stood out against the clear blue sky. “I could never stay angry with you for very long.”
He closed his eyes. “Please don’t say that, Lila. I don’t deserve that sort of generosity from you.”
“Generosity?” I snorted. “This is not me being generous, Sebastian. It’s me being selfish. I would rather have you in my life than not have you at all, even if it means letting you get away with more than I should.”
“That’s hardly selfish.”
“Well, whatever it is, it’s the way I feel.”
He nodded, but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he looked away from me and stared out at the ocean.
We sat there in silence for a few moments before I finally asked, “How are you outside right now? The sun is shining brightly. Shouldn’t you be going up in flames?”
He motioned to a ring that he wore on one of his hands. It was a gold band with a red ruby set in the center. “My father had a witch make him a ring to protect him from the sun. I always thought he only ever had one, but Zoe just informed me that there were more—seven, to be exact. I searched his vault and found all seven of them.”
“Oh.” I paused for a few moments. “Sebastian?”
“Yeah?” His eyes fell on
mine.
“What happens to your slaves? When you no longer want them, I mean.”
A dark look clouded his eyes. “I don’t think you want to know.”
“That may be true, but I need to know,” I insisted.
“It all depends, really.”
“On what?”
“It depends on how much I like her,” Sebastian replied, a genuine tone in his voice. “When someone is a part of your life for a very long time, it’s easy to grow attached—sometimes tooattached.”
I frowned. “Which slave did you grow most attached to?”
“Her name was Anita. She arrived when she was sixteen. She was with me for three years.” A hint of a smile touched his lips. “She was a bit of a spitfire—very much like you. She was my favorite slave I’d ever owned. Until you, of course,” he assured me.
“Did you have feelings for her?” I asked, wondering mostly due to his comparison.
He shook his head. “No. You are the only human who I have ever felt something for, Lila.”
I wasn’t going to lie. Knowing that I was the only human who he’d ever had feelings for was pretty flattering.
“So, what happened to Anita?” I asked.
His smile faded. “She died.”
A gut-wrenching feeling filled me. “Did you kill her?” I whispered.
Avoiding my gaze, Sebastian shook his head. “No. I just wish I had.”
“I don’t understand.” I shook my head. “You said Anita was your favorite besides me, but you wish you’d killed her?”
He nodded. “Yes. If I had killed her, she would have died much more peacefully. Instead, she died a terribly violent death.”
“What happened to her?” A knot tightened in my stomach. As much as I knew I had to hear the story, I also knew that I wanted to hear it. If I didn’t hear it, I would always wonder.
“I usually killed my slaves. I would just drink from them until they stopped breathing. But Anita was different. I knew I couldn’t just bring myself to end her life.”
“So, why didn’t you just keep her instead?” I asked.
“I couldn’t keep her.” Sebastian glanced over at me. “What is your favorite food?”
I hesitated for a moment. “Pizza.”
“Could you imagine eating pizza every day for the rest of your life? The same exact slices of pizza, over and over and over again?” he asked.
“If it’s a good enough slice of pizza, then maybe.” I shrugged. “I don’t know. You can’t compare pizza to blood.”
“Human lives might not be involved, but, ultimately, it’s the same. You might not see it that way, but blood is my food. Vampires like variety. Truthfully, I keep my slaves around longer than most vampires do. You should see how quickly Kade tires of his food.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t think that’s a very good example.”
He shot a sideways glance at in my direction. “You’d be surprised how many vampires are like Kade.”
“I hope to never know any of them,” I replied.
“You have a strong likelihood of encountering them if you remain in Deadwood.”
“You haven’t told me yet what happened to Anita,” I said pointedly. It seemed like he was just trying to avoid the subject.
Leaning back on his elbows, he glanced up at the sky. “Instead of killing her the way I should have, I decided to gift her to a vampire friend of mine. Former vampire friend of mine,” he corrected himself. “I’d never done that before, and I’ll never do it again. It was the biggest mistake of my life.”
“Did he kill her?” I asked, even though the answer already seemed obvious.
“He didn’t just kill her. Her death was... brutal. I won’t even discuss the details of it, but it wasn’t pretty, believe me. And since our connection was still perfectly intact, I felt every ounce of pain she felt.” He shook his head, as though he were trying to shake away the memory. “I’ll never let that happen to another one of my slaves.”
I paused for a long moment. “Sebastian, what do you think about me becoming a vampire?”
“No,” he answered quickly—a little too quickly for my liking.
I frowned. “Why not?”
“Because I could never knowingly take away your ability to die, Lila. An eternal life... It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, believe me.” His eyes fell on mine. “When everyone you know and love dies, you will be left with nothing. All you’ll be is a fragment of yourself, a memory of who you used to be, with a life that continues forever.”
“But what if a life that continues forever means that we could be together forever?” I questioned.
“It’s easy for you to say that when you have no idea what forever means. I will not allow you to willingly take part in something like that on my behalf.”
“What if I don’t care? What if this is what I want?”
“I will have no part in it.” He shook his head. “Now drop it, please. I came here for two reasons: to apologize to you and to tell you something very important.”
My heart sank. I had a bad feeling about whatever he had come here for. “What is it?”
Sebastian looked into my eyes. He reached out and brushed a hand against my cheek. Holding my gaze, he said, “I’m going to marry Alessandra. I wanted you to hear the news from me first.”
“What do you mean?” I jerked away from him as tears formed in my eyes. I tried to blink them away, but it didn’t seem to help. “You’re... you’re really going to go through with this?”
“I’m sorry, Lila. You know this isn’t what I want.”
“Actually, I don’t know that.” I shook my head, the tears falling freely now. As they glided their way down my cheeks, I forced myself to look at him.
As his eyes locked on mine, I swallowed hard. I wished I could say this news had changed things; I wish that what I saw was the shadow of a man who I had once known, that nothing about him was the same.
But that would have been a lie, because he was the same man who I’d known from day one. Sure, he was about to marry Alessandra and take his place as King of the Stark coven, but when I looked at him, all I saw was the Sebastian Stark who I’d fallen so deeply in love with. All I could see was the Sebastian who had chosen to save my life on multiple occasions, the same Sebastian who gone out of his way to keep me safe and protected.
“Lila, you must know this isn’t really what I want,” he insisted. “I’m not doing this for me. I’m doing this for the sake of my family, my coven—for the sake of the entire kingdom. I don’t want to marry Alessandra, but I have no other choice. If I do what my heart is telling me to do, we will lose everything. My coven will never be the same again.”
“I understand,” I whispered. And I did understand. I understood the sacrifice he needed to make. I just didn’t like it.
I hated the direction fate had led us in. Sebastian Stark may have needed to marry Princess Alessandra, but I knew deep down this wasn’t how things were really meant to play out. It was supposed to be us.
I fully believed that if things had been different—if I wasn’t Lila DeHaven, perhaps, or if I had been born a vampire princess—that it would have been me and him. In a different world, we would have been together, until the end of time.
But the reality was that I wasn’t a vampire princess. I was Lila DeHaven. I was human, and he was a vampire prince. And for all of those reasons, he and I would never be together.
“We will be together,” Sebastian said, as though he had just read my mind. “I will find a way out of this, some sort of loophole. I’ll get out of this marriage with Alessandra, and I’ll be with you. I just need you to be patient.”
I just stared back at him, knowing the doubt I felt was probably written all over my face.
“Promise me, Lila. Promise me you’ll wait.” He reached out and brushed his hand against my cheek again.
Except, this time, I didn’t jerk away. I held his hand there, savoring the feeling of his touch. Depending on how things play
ed out, I knew this very well may have been the last opportunity I had to feel his skin against mine for a long time.
“I’ll wait,” I whispered. I’d never pictured myself as the type of girl who would have been willing to wait around for anyone, but the reality was that we were in Deadwood. It wasn’t like I had anything to do besides wait.
“Good. I’ll be waiting, too.” Sebastian’s blue eyes were full of sincerity. “I’ll be waiting for that perfect moment in time when it will be just me and you.”
He leaned in closer to me then. I knew he was going to kiss me. I didn’t hesitate, not even a little. I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to me.
When our lips locked, it felt different than any other kiss we’d shared in the past. The kiss was driven by passion, no doubt. But as his lips slowly lingered on mine, it felt like was memorizing every inch of my mouth. I found myself doing the same thing.
I studied his lips, his mouth, his tongue, book-shelving his kiss in my memories.
Neither of us wanted to forget this moment... ever.
When we broke away from one another, we were both breathless.
“I want you to drink from me,” I whispered, staring up at him.
Disappointment passed through his blue eyes. “I wish I could, Lila. There’s nothing I want more than to drink from you... and make love to you.”
“Then do it,” I pleaded. “I’m ready for both of those things.”
He shook his head. “No. Now is not the time.”
“Why isn’t it?” I wanted to tell him it may have been the only time, but I didn’t want to come across as negative.
At the same time, there was also a part of me that was trying to hold onto my hope. I really didn’t want to believe that this was it, that it was now or never.
I really wanted to believe there was a chance for us.
“If I drink from you, Alessandra will figure out you’re alive. She’ll taste your blood on my lips when I...” He trailed off, but he didn’t need to say what he meant. I already knew.
She would taste my blood on his lips when he kissed her.
“Just avoid her for a bit. She’ll never have to know,” I insisted, moving in to kiss him again.