‘I was fine,’ Sally replied.
‘What were you doing up there?’
‘I was having a walk. I needed to get away.’
‘Who was that guy?’
‘You mean Charlie? He’s just some guy.’
Ashley scrunched her face in puzzlement. ‘Some guy?’ she asked, sceptical.
Sally shrugged. ’Yeah, a stranger. I met him up there.’
Ashley frowned at Sally. ‘You were chatting to some random guy on a cliff at night?’ Sally didn’t like how Ashley was acting so shocked like she’d committed a crime or something.
She debated whether to tell her friend that Charlie was the busker from that afternoon, the one who’d inadvertently broke her phone, but there was no point irritating Ashley any more now. She wouldn’t understand, especially not now while she was so intent on proving how she was Not Happy. ‘He accidentally surprised me, that’s all. I nearly fell off, and so he offered me a cigarette,’ Sally said, trying to downplay the situation.
Ashley saw right through Sally. ’You nearly fell? Off the cliff?’
‘It wasn’t a big thing.’
‘Are you crazy?’
‘I didn’t think so, but now you’re making it sound like I am,’ Sally replied.
‘I’ve been running all over here searching for you. I thought you might be at the beach, but you were actually nearly falling off a cliff,’ Ashley said. ‘That makes you pretty crazy.’
Sally was going to reply with something venomous, that Ashley was the crazy one here, but she stopped herself. From the opposite direction along the beachfront path came a rowdy group. They’d emerged from a bar across the road. Sally stepped to the side of the path giving them space to pass, distancing herself from Ashley. The group was likely staggering home, or perhaps on to another drink. Seeing them drunk, Sally felt a pang of jealousy. She could do with a drink right about now. Being drunk would be better than having to deal with an angry Ashley.
After the group passed, Sally stepped back in line with her friend. ‘Stop making it so dramatic. How long were you searching for me?’ she asked.
‘I’m not making it dramatic. I’ve been looking for you for, like, the last half-hour. And then I remembered how you said you’d want to see the view at night, so I went there even though you’d have to be crazy to go up there at night. But you were there. Why did you leave the hostel? Why were you up there?’
‘I wanted to get away.’
‘From what?’
Sally didn’t want to say anything about Jim. He was Ashley’s cousin, so she’ll defend him against whatever accusation Sally told. She wouldn’t understand. ‘I dunno.’
‘You don’t know?’
‘I’m getting tired of this,’ Sally said. ‘I want my bed. Why are we arguing like this in the middle of the street at night? You didn’t have to fetch me like I’m some kind of child up there. It was embarrassing.’
Ashley snorted in derision. ‘You’re embarrassed? What about me?’
‘What do you mean?’ Sally asked.
‘You embarrassed me, even after I told you not to. I told you not to ruin my night, but you did,’ Ashley said. Her voice began to rise with an angry passion.
‘I ruined it?’
‘Yeah, you did.’
‘Ashley, this is too much, I just want to go to bed.’
Ashley had tears in her eyes. She'd stopped walking and was wiping her face with the back of her sleeve. ‘This was supposed to be my night,’ Ashley said quietly into her sleeve.
Seeing her upset, Sally wanted to reach out to her friend. She wanted to hug her. She wanted them both to admit everything was alright and to forget about all this. Sally sighed and put her arm around her friend’s shoulder, but Ashley battered it away. Sally took a step back from that. She was angry at her friend for making things worse. ‘Don’t shrug me off,’ Sally said. ‘I listened to you. I gave you space. I did what you wanted me to do.’ Sally was always the one to put in the effort, and this time Ashley was throwing it back in her face.
‘I didn’t even do anything with Sam,’ Ashley said, her voice still rising. ‘You ran away before we got to do anything.’
‘Are you talking about Jim?’ Sally couldn’t even get the words out before Ashley started at her again.
‘Jim knocked on the door while Sam and I were kissing. He was saying you were acting crazy and you shoved him against the wall, and then you ran away,’ Ashley said. ‘You want to talk about being embarrassed? I’m embarrassed. That’s why I went looking for you.’
Sally shook her head in disbelief at how Jim had twisted the situation. He’d made Sally the villain now. He'd made her the crazy one. It wasn’t right, and it wasn’t fair. ’And you believe what he says?’ Sally asked.
‘Don’t you remember I asked you not to ruin the evening. I begged you, and you still did.’
‘I didn’t,’ Sally protested.
Ashley sighed. ’Listen to me. Can you understand why I’m upset here? Why I came looking for you?’
‘Jim’s been lying to you.’
‘Don’t try to deflect away from yourself. It’s not only just what happened at the hostel, it’s the whole night.’
‘I don’t want to talk about this.’
Ashley snarled. ‘You were judging Sam and I all night. I saw how you were staring at us, I know you were judging us.’
Ashley’s words stung her. They lodged in her throat. For the second time that night, she felt like she was going to be sick. Her friend was so angry with her. ‘I wasn’t judging you,’ she said.
‘Yes, you were.’
‘I don’t want to talk about this,’ Sally said. She sighed. ‘This whole thing is getting too emotional.’
‘You’re calling me emotional?’
‘I’m not. It’s this situation. Us. What we’re doing.’
‘Sally,’ Ashley replied. Her voice was softer now. She spoke slowly, each word emphasised. ‘I’ve tried to give you a good night. I introduced you to Jim, and even then you act all weird. And you shoved him against a wall? You embarrassed me in front of my cousin and Sam. All night long you were strange. How do you think I feel? What do you think I want?’
Sally had heard enough of this. Jim had warped Ashley’s opinion, and now she wasn’t listening to Sally. ‘I don’t know what you want, Ashley. I just want to go to bed.’
‘This is exactly your problem.’
‘My problem?’
‘Yes. You never want to deal with anything. You’d rather be in your own world.’
‘That’s not true.’ Sally bit her lip in anger. She wanted to yell at Ashley. She wanted to scream that Jim was the problem. She wanted to cry. But she was not going to show Ashley the satisfaction of an emotional outburst. Jim had lied, he’d tried to kiss her, he’d forced himself on her. She wanted to scream at Ashley that her cousin was a creep.
She was scared of telling Ashley what had truly happened with her cousin. Ashley already wasn’t believing her. She wouldn’t believe her. Ashley had been right on the bus that afternoon, right in saying that Sally was afraid of confrontation. Sally couldn’t fight her friend anymore.
‘Look, Sally. I know that you’re going through shit at the moment,’ Ashley said forcefully. ‘That’s why Mum and Dad decided to pay for you to come out here with me. And I am sorry for your Dad. I was there, remember? I’ve been trying to help you. But for one night I only wanted you to let me have fun. I begged you not to embarrass me, but you’re in so much self-pity that you can’t see beyond yourself.’
‘Let’s go back to the hostel,’ Sally said as she started walking again. She could see the roof of the hostel in the distance. There was no point to this.
Ashley held back. ‘You’re being selfish,’ she cried out after Sally. ‘You’re running away from dealing with your problems.’
Sally ignored her, and she carried on walking ahead towards the hostel. She could tell Ashley was following behind, her sandals slapped as they hit the pavement. A
shley maintained her distance all the way back. It took only a few minutes to get to the hostel, but it felt like an eternity. Sally was wrapped in her thoughts. Ashley didn’t believe her, and Sally couldn’t believe Jim had lied as he did. She was afraid of arguing with Ashley. She didn’t want it, she didn’t want any of it. The holiday was not supposed to be like this. Reaching the hostel, Sally took her keys and entered the main doors. She didn’t wait for her friend. Ashley had her own set.
She expected to see either Jim or Sam wandering around the corridors or in the foyer, but they weren’t there. She wanted to erase Jim’s face from her memory. She never wanted to see him again.
When she got to the room, she stripped her clothes off and darted into bed. Other than Ashley’s messy duvet, there were no signs of Sam having been in there. None of that lingering boy smell or the heavy air of sex. That was one good thing.
She faced away from Ashley’s bed towards the wall.
She heard the faint ding of the lift doors opening on their level. The slow thud of footsteps down the hallway. A minute later the door unlocked, and the familiar outline of Ashley entered. They didn’t speak a word to each other. Sally faced away from the doorway as Ashley’s footsteps continued into the bathroom. She didn’t emerge for a long time.
By the time she did, Sally was drifting to sleep. She felt Ashley’s presence in the room. A silent, watchful presence.
As she fell asleep her mind turned to the ocean waves crashing against the cliff.
22
‘Perfect,’ Sally groaned, waking. She rubbed her temples with her fingers.
She peeled back a corner of the curtain. Sunlight peeked through the window, blinding her. It was late. She let her eyes adjust to the brightness seeping through the window and peered out of it. On power lines across the street, a flock of birds balanced, tweeting. Cooking aromas from the restaurants below wafted up to her room. It was lunchtime.
‘Perfect,’ she repeated to herself as she lay her head back on the inviting bed, her pillow feeling soft beneath her hair. It was hard waking up. She rested her arm on her stomach to feel her abdomen rise and fall to her breathing. She counted the slow rhythm out in her head.
One. Two. Three. Four.
In. Out. In. Out.
Calm yourself, like the grief counsellor had said.
The rustling of sheets alerted Sally to Ashley curled up in the next bed, snoring. Sally slowly moved over to get a closer look, cautious of waking her. Ashley hadn’t been bothered to wash her face before going to bed. Her makeup had run down her face in a mess. The skin around her eyes were red and puffy. She’d been crying.
Oh. The night before. The argument. The words spoken. The words they’d thrown at each other designed to sting. The way Sally had run from her friend, back to the room and into the safety of her bed.
With a moan, Sally pushed up from the bed and rummaged through her bag, looking for clothes. She found some fresh ones. She bent over, feeling the muscles stretch in her back. Blood rushed to her face. She did some more stretches but was always mindful of Ashley sleeping in the bed. If she woke, there’d be another argument.
Sally couldn’t continue with this. She couldn’t continue with what happened the night before, having to deal with this intensity, this emotion. Not again.
She had to go.
And stay away.
Sally sat at the table by the mirror, thinking about writing a note to explain what she was doing. But she didn’t want to apologise. What should she write? The words sped past in a jumble in her mind. She decided not to write anything, gave up, and stumbled out the door, still groggy from her deep sleep.
She was running away. Again. Like she always did. Like her Mum had done, and Sally hated herself for it.
It was another sunny day outside. Did this country ever rain? It was so different to home’s constant overcast.
She needed coffee. She didn’t mind where she got it, as long as she moved away from the hostel, away from Ashley. She remembered the row of cafes down the same street as the phone shop and headed there. She’d go into one of the independent ones there.
The barista was cheerful, smiling at her as Sally ordered a latte. The coffee was expensive, and something she knew she couldn’t afford, but still, she pulled out her card and tapped the machine. She had a flashback of Jim doing the same over her shoulder at the bar. No. Don’t think about that.
The barista thanked her and handed her the coffee, still smiling.
Sally pinched her forehead. The night before. Jim. Charlie. The argument. They were all too much to deal with. She dumped herself on a stool by the window facing on to the street. The sun was shining, blaring into her eyes, so she shuffled over to a different stool,. Her pocket vibrated. She patted it. Her phone. It was buzzing with an incoming call. Sally removed it from the pocket and checked the caller.
Nicole. Again. Her Dad’s neighbour.
She was the one who had called the previous day, the one Sally didn’t accept, and in the cafe, she again declined to pick up. She tapped the button to reject Nicole. Her name faded from the screen. What was she calling her about? Whatever it was, it wouldn’t be good. She should message Sally if there were an emergency. She didn’t want to deal with her neighbour. Not now.
She finished the coffee and looked out the window, purging all thoughts of Nicole out of her mind. A beggar was sitting by the shop opposite, gingerly offering up a takeaway cup to passing pedestrians for spare change. A group of young boys walked past the cafe window. Topless with surfboards under their arms and towels over their shoulders, they were destined for the beach. Teenagers. Sally recognised the leader of them, a tall boy with whipped blonde hair and a bronze tan. A bright line of zinc ran across the bridge of his nose.
It was him, the swimmer from yesterday, the one who’d warned her about the waves.
He was chatting with his friends. They were joking with each other. Their laughter floated inside the cafe. As if knowing she had recognised him, the boy turned and peeked inside the cafe, right through the window at Sally.
His face beamed into a wide smile, and he waved at her. Would he come into the cafe, and what would they talk about? She didn’t know, but it’d be nice though. He’d been so friendly in the ocean.
She waved back.
And then he was gone, crossing the road and disappearing within his group of teenage surfer friends. They rounded a corner, towards the beach. Sally was sad to see him leave. His smile lingered in the air, and she wanted to catch it somehow. She envied his carefree composure, his freedom. But maybe he had his own tragedy. Maybe the surfer wasn’t exactly as he appeared on the outside, maybe there was more of a sadness to him than his cheery facade. She was sometimes too quick to judge. Everyone was not who they seem to be. Other people could be going through the same pain as she was. It was a shame she didn’t get the chance to talk to him, get to know him more.
She binned her empty takeaway coffee cup and left the cafe. The beggar across the road mumbled something indecipherable as Sally passed. She dug into her pockets and found some loose change for him.
She found the phone shop, and this time it was open. Sally stood outside the glass doors and debated whether to go in. She could get a new phone and bring it back to the hostel, but she didn’t have the money. Charlie had told her he’d get her the cash. What did he say on the cliff? He’d said he was performing that evening at a bar by the beachfront. The bar was only a few minutes walk away from here. Sally could go and see him and get her money. He owed it to her. He’d bumped into her at the harbour. He’d caused the accident. Sally’s Dad would visit him. He’d get the money. That was the assertive thing to do.
Or maybe she should go back to the room and talk to Ashley. She was probably awake by now and had probably calmed down. She would’ve showered. Maybe the conversation would be different. Maybe it’ll be quieter. But Sally would have to apologise if she went back, and she didn’t want to. Ashley wouldn’t be calm without an apology. Anytim
e they argued, Sally always had to be first to buckle under the pressure.
But this time she won’t be.
Sally turned away from the phone shop and aimlessly walked through the streets. No, she won’t apologise first. She was nervous even thinking about that, but she had to stop running away. That’s what her Dad had said. She had to stop being a coward.
She turned a corner and that’s when she saw the antique shop. It was nestled between some other weird shops, some shop selling costumes for parties, and another New Age kind of shop. The antique shop’s window display was littered with random items and it was no different inside. Sally felt curious. She always liked to visit strange shops. She decided to go in. A bell rang when Sally stepped in through the door. A mixture of odd trinkets and spiritual displays greeted Sally as she entered. An array of multicoloured crystals lined the shelves, and dusty books with torn spines lay next to outdated maps. Admiring the assortment of products, Sally browsed through, careful not to knock anything over. It was strange to find a shop like this so close to this trendy beach, but there were some odd places Sally had passed. She liked it. She liked its quirkiness.
‘We close soon,’ someone called out in a quiet voice. It was a middle-aged woman sitting on a stool behind the till. She frowned at Sally from over a newspaper she gripped with both hands.
‘Hey,’ Sally replied. ‘No problem.’
‘We close very soon,’ the woman behind the till said.
Sally remained upbeat. ’Thanks for letting me know.’
The woman didn’t acknowledge Sally’s response. She frowned at her newspaper instead. Sally noticed the stacks of fortune cards and books around the woman at the till, piles of things related to tarot reading. Sally wasn’t one for the spiritual. She didn’t believe in talking to the dead or star signs or angels. She’d never paid any attention, except that one time she went, as a young girl, to a circus with her Dad. That was when they saw a fortune teller. They’d wandered through the main circus tent, with all the different fairground games to play, and stumbled across the fortune teller’s stall.
The Busker: A gripping psychological thriller Page 12