by Yara Gharios
“Is this true, Michael?” he demands, his voice low and threatening.
“No!” I yell. “I didn’t do any of what she just said!”
My father tries to intervene at this point. “Alpha, maybe we should…”
He cuts him off with a glare. “Everybody, stay out of this!” he orders, his command overpowering whatever my father or anyone may have to say, and causing them all to fall silent. “Either nobody say a word, or all of you get out. I’ve welcomed your family into my home, Steven, but I will not hesitate to throw you out myself if you get involved in my pack’s business.”
“Beg your pardon, Alpha, but it’s also my son you’re talking to,” Dad tells him calmly, but with almost as much authority. “And I will not have you or anyone talk to him this way.”
For a moment, I’m distracted out of my attack, and I stare at my father in shock. Where is this protective side of him coming from? He’s never been this way before.
Wordlessly, Logan marches over to my father. Both reach the same height, and they stare directly into each other’s glares. “Then leave,” he menaces. “You’re in my home, which means you have to go by my rules. So either leave right now and I’ll deal with your son my way, or be quiet.”
This is the kind of order that you physically can’t disobey, even if you tried, even if you weren’t part of Logan’s pack. My father stares defiantly at the stronger alpha standing in front of him, but nobody tries to intervene again. Aside from Reena’s parents being busy fussing over her, the rest are just watching us without even moving. I guess there’s no interfering with the will of the most powerful alpha in the room.
When nobody objects anymore, Logan faces me again. Without taking his murderous eyes off me, he points to the girl sobbing behind him. “If you didn’t do what she says, then what the hell is that on her head?” he demands.
I grind my teeth together, my anger returning full force as if uninterrupted. “That’s from when I pushed her harder than I meant, and she hit the wall,” I let out in a strangled voice. “But the rest of it isn’t true!”
“So what you’re saying is that there was no kissing involved.”
“I didn’t kiss her!” I repeat, my voice cracking the higher it goes.
“Then how come she’s in your room, on the floor?” he roars.
“Because she kissed me!” I scream back. “She was already crying in the bathroom, and when I saw her, she came into my room, backed me on the bed and kissed me! It was all her!”
He points a finger in my face. “Are you calling my mate a liar?”
Mate? Ouch! That physically hurts! Like a needle prick to my heartstring.
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing,” I confirm, venom dripping from each word. “She’s a liar, a cheater and a b*tch!”
The punch to my jaw comes out of nowhere and knocks me back on the bed. I hear someone trying to take a step forward, but Logan’s order forces them back. I lay there staring at the ceiling, my jaw ringing with waves of pain that reach my very core. Although it hurts, the biggest pain comes from within, from the fact that this man laying his hand on me is my mate. In that second, I actually hate him.
“Why would she even do that? How can you accuse her of this? How dare you lie to me right now?”
I don’t respond. I can’t. Aside from my ego taking a blow and making me stay down, this new form of rejection has me in shock. I didn’t think there were any more ways for him to hurt me. I definitely never thought he would hit me, of all things. Everything he’s done so far wasn’t intentional. On some level, I was able to find solace in the fact that he didn’t mean to hurt me all these times. But this time, he did.
He doesn’t know, a slumbering part of myself reminds me. Maybe if he knew, he wouldn’t behave this way.
“Oh my God,” he says quietly, when I don’t answer him for a long moment. “You meant Reena. It was her, wasn’t it?”
I have no idea what he’s talking about, so I don’t try to answer him.
I need to tell him, I decide, desperately hoping that this will be the answer to everything.
Slowly, I get up and face him. When I can see him again, he’s got the most shocked and betrayed look I’ve ever seen him wear.
“Reena’s the girl you were talking about it, wasn’t it?” he says again. “She’s the mate you can’t be with.”
Stunned, my eyes widen. “What?!”
He stares at me as if he doesn’t recognize me. “I thought you were talking about Sadie…” he mumbles. “How could you? I thought we were friends, and now you’re trying to steal my girlfriend?”
No, no, no! He’s got it all wrong!
“I am your friend! I am not trying to steal her from you!” I frantically try to make him believe me. It’s one thing for him to hurt me, but if I’m the one hurting him, it feels a thousand times worse.
“You were kissing her,” he seethes. “How can you stand there and lie about betraying me?”
“I would never betray you!” I insist, desperately trying to find the courage to just tell him the truth already.
He’s not even listening anymore, he’s completely delirious. “I trusted you! I told you things I would not normally tell anyone!”
Just jump, I tell myself.
For once, I listen to the voice in my head and take the biggest leap of faith I’ve ever taken in my life.
“I didn’t mean her, you idiot, I meant you! You’re the mate I was talking about, and I want to be with you because I’m a girl! I’m a girl, you knucklehead, and I can’t believe you don’t see it!”
“Dylan!” three voices yell at once, Sadie’s, Cade’s and my mom’s.
“What?!” Reena screams. “I kissed a girl?!”
But I don’t listen to them, even as they continue their protests among each other. My family, Cade and Sadie back me up against the accusations of lies from all the others. But I don’t hear a word they say. I stare only at Logan, for the first time in my life praying that my leap of faith pays off and that he will catch me.
I can see in his eyes that he does believe me; it’s almost as if all the moments that we had where he could have deduced the truth on his own pass through his brain one by one, making everything click.
He believes me.
But it doesn’t change anything for him.
He just stares at me, no longer with hate, but still with betrayal deep within him. We’re only a few feet apart, but he might as well be miles away. We’re strangers to each other, both of us, and I can’t find in him any trace of a desire to meet me halfway.
After a moment, everybody falls quiet, staring at Logan and waiting for his reaction. But he does nothing.
“Say something,” I beg, using my normal voice for the first time in front of him.
At the sound of it, he blinks as his eyes widen by a fraction, takes a step back, then turns around and leaves.
That’s when I finally fall apart. I jumped, and he let me fall. And I crash. Hard. Harder than I did when I saw him in wolf form and realized I couldn’t have him. Harder, even, than when he indirectly told me to let him be with Reena. The one time I let him in completely and show him how vast the ocean of hurt tormenting me is, he lets me drown.
When he leaves, so do Reena and her family, followed by Cade’s brothers. I’m left with my family and the two people who, up until a couple minutes ago, were the only ones who knew my secret. Now, I’m pretty sure the entire pack woke up to the sound of our screaming and heard that part. Strangely, I don’t even care. I want someone to use this against me; maybe the physical pain would be enough to drown out the one killing me slowly from the inside.
All they can do, all I can let them do, is crowd around me and force me to bed. Sadie and my mom sit on either side of me with an arm around my shoulder or waist, while the guys sit or stand nearby. They don’t say anything, thank God for that. But I think it’s because they expect me to break down crying again.
However, despite reaching my lowest
point, my tears are all dried out, and I’m numb inside. I’m done crying. I just wasted the last chance I had to remedy the situation, and I’m done. I’m done with it all, especially him.
“We’ll talk in the morning,” I tell them all in an empty voice.
They hesitate, still waiting for me to break down.
“Good night,” I say, forcing them to leave me be.
For once, they listen to me and leave, albeit reluctantly and with a lot of backward glances thrown my way. Once I’m alone, I lay down on my side over the sheets with my head on the pillow.
Burns suddenly forces his way into my arms, lying on his side, putting his head next to my heart and purring softly. Although I’m glad he’s here, his presence does nothing to calm the turmoil raging within me. I stay up all night, mechanically stroking his fur.
CHAPTER 7
Logan
One of the lessons my father instilled in me is never to trust anyone completely. He always said to beware of people’s deceit, because everyone always has hidden intentions.
‘No matter who they are,’ he would say, ‘no matter how close to you, people always have two faces: one that they show everyone, and one that is hidden.’
I’m not sure how much he knew he was right, but I’m starting to get an idea. I was sure of Reena, for instance. I’ve known her for years. I know the insecure person she actually is, the fears she has about herself and her life. I saw her mean attitude as the defense mechanism it actually is, and I was happy that she was never that way with me.
There was never anything fake or a lack of connection in any side in our relationship, not even when it was just starting to form. She and I could actually talk about meaningful things, like the responsibilities handed down to us by our parents towards the pack, our future together, and even, to some extent, my parents’ and her birth mother’s deaths.
I knew we looked like an odd couple to outsiders, but that was just it. They weren’t in on our shared moments of true depth. What do they know?
God was I wrong.
To get some room to think, I leave Reena to rest in the bedroom while I take the couch downstairs. That night, I don’t get a wink of sleep. I need to prioritize everything that’s just been thrown at me and deal with it rationally. Two things are competing for the top spot; Reena and Michael –or whatever she likes to be called. In the end, I decide to go with Reena first, since that’s easier to start with.
At the crack of dawn, I slip back up to my room and shake Reena awake. She jolts up and stares wide-eyed at me.
“My office, five minutes,” I say shortly.
The five minutes are in case she wants to change or freshen up or something. But it turns out she doesn’t need –or want– them when she walks right after me into my office. She stands by one of the chairs while I take a seat behind my desk. I’ve decided to treat this as business. Involving too much emotion is only going to open up another wound I’m delaying dealing with.
“You kissed Michael,” I state.
“Logan,” she starts pleading.
I cut her off. “She didn’t initiate it or even encourage it. You did it all on your own.”
“Let me expla–”
“I want you to admit it. Or else I’m walking out that door right now, and forgetting you exist.”
Her already tear-filled eyes widen. “No, Logan please!”
“Admit it,” I order, not caring that my voice has taken on a deadly cold tone.
Her tearful masquerade is tugging at my heartstrings, but I stay determined.
There’s a pause. She sobs once and sniffs. “Yes,” she confesses. “I meant to kiss Michael. But I never meant to betray you or hurt you in any way, I promise. It had nothing to do with you, I swear.”
She waits for me to say something; probably ask why she did it if it wasn’t to hurt me. However, betrayal is pumping through me, and her deception has flooded me with doubt. Aside from that, my shame over being played like an idiot has me on alert, looking for clues that she might try a new round of manipulation.
She sees the coldness on my face, but she must sense my uncertainty since she asks, “Will you at least let me explain?”
There’s a long silence during which I just stare at her, debating. I realize that keeping the emotion out of it isn’t working. Looking at her, I can’t shake the lingering feeling that I know her, deep down, and there must be some good in her. Maybe there’s more here than I can see at the moment. The wound is still fresh, and I need a bit more time to sort through my feelings and make sense of what happened.
Aside from that, we’re not the only people affected by what she did. She was supposed to be my wife someday, lead the pack with me. True, we were far from it, as she wasn’t ready at all. But just because we didn’t talk about it doesn’t mean it wasn’t the ultimate plan. This is why I have a lot to consider before deciding what to do. Her deception changes things for the whole pack, and I am incapable of doing what’s best for everyone at the moment.
“You’ll get a chance to explain,” I start, seeing the hope on her face and instantly crushing it, “but not right now.”
She hangs her head and nods, resigned. “When?”
“I need time,” I say. “I’ll tell you when. Until then… I need you to leave the pack house.”
Her eyes widen. “What? You’re banishing me?”
“No, of course not,” I say, surprised by her assumption. “You can stay on the compound. But I need some space from you for a while, so it’s better if you and your family move to one of the empty houses.”
The suggestion seems to frighten her even more, but I was serious about needing space. She looks like she wants to say something to protest, but she sees the resolve on my face and decides otherwise. Then, she walks out like a condemned criminal facing their end.
***
It’s really strange how finding out that someone you thought you knew has gone behind your back can make you numb in the moment you learn the truth. Saturday night was probably the most unexpected I’ve had in all my life, and it completely blindsided me. It was impossible to wrap my head around everything that happened all at once, so I pushed back the Michael aspect of it to a buzzing in the far corner of my mind to handle the more pressing issue of Reena.
By Monday morning, I’ve allowed myself too much time to let it revelation sink in, and so I call Cade for a meeting.
“How long have you known?” is the first thing I ask.
“A few weeks,” Cade replies calmly in response to my tension.
“How did you find out?”
He holds back a smile at the memory. “I caught her in wolf form with Sadie, so shifted back to human in front of me.”
That must have been so strange for her, I can’t help but think.
“You should have told me as soon as you found out,” I say reproachfully.
As my beta, it was his duty to share this kind of information with me. He’s supposed to be my right hand man, the one I trust more than anyone to take care of my pack in my absence. I hope he has a good reason for keeping this from me.
He has the decency to look sorry. “I wanted to. But she needed to be the one to tell you. It wasn’t my secret to share.”
“There’s more at stake here, Cade, and you know it,” I remind him. “This is big. There hasn’t been a female werewolf in centuries, so why now? Is the pandemic ending? We have to think about what it means for our community. And have you even considered whether this could be related to what my dad was doing?”
“I did,” he confirms. “I did some digging on my own time, but I just couldn’t find a connection. Besides, if we learned anything from what happened to the Mariners, it’s that whoever is doing this is not just targeting the youngest child in the families. They’re after something else that Cameron was doing.”
“We don’t know that,” I refute vehemently. “We haven’t been looking long enough to rule out a connection. You said it’s only been a few weeks. What if somethi
ng bad happened during that time and I just wasn’t prepared to protect her?”
Cade stares at me with a knowing look in his eyes that completely frustrates me. “This isn’t about me not telling you, is it?”
I glare at him, starting to get angry. “Of course it is! It’s your job to tell me these things.”
“No, I know that, but there’s more to it. You’re mad at me, but you’re more pissed about the fact that she didn’t come to you for help.”
In that moment, I want nothing more than to deny it and keep focusing on the aspects that affect the well-being of everyone and not just me, but I can’t. I need to talk about this out loud if I’m going to deal with it properly.
With a heavy sigh, I sit down at my desk and face the situation. “Why didn’t she trust me? I could have helped. I would have kept her safe. Did she think she’d be in danger if I knew?”
Cade sits across from me, leaning over the table. “No, that’s not it at all, man. Maybe it was at first, but she did trust you.”
“Then what is it?” I question, at a loss. “Was she worried I wouldn’t be okay with it?”
“Maybe partly,” he acknowledges. “But mostly, I think she just wasn’t ready to face it herself. She’s never chosen to tell anyone without being cornered into it.”
I understand what he’s talking about, and I know he’s probably right. As much as it limited Michael to hide who she is, it’s all she knows. It’s hard to get out of something like that. My sympathy for what she must have been going through for eighteen years nearly overshadows my anger and the feeling of broken trust.
“Still,” I maintain. “I trusted her with a lot.”
Sometimes a bit more than Cade, I think. This is because I was able to be vulnerable with her in a way that I don’t think I ever could be with him. And now, knowing there’s a whole side of her that I wasn’t privy to, I feel robbed. So much time that I could have spent getting to know the real her, gone.