by Yara Gharios
Unaware of my train of thought, Logan cups my cheek. “You’re cute when you blush,” he declares with a smug smile.
This side of Logan, the carefree, teasing side of him is completely new to me. He was always so calm and in control of his own emotions. It’s a huge change, and I’d like to think I have something to do with it. Hell, I probably have everything to do with it, and I’m not about to complain. I like it when this side of him shows.
Although I thought I’ve sobered up enough to be able to walk all the way home on my own, after the first two steps I take out the door of the cabin, the world turns again. I tug at Logan’s hand to stop him and lean against his shoulder as my eyes readjust.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to carry you?” he asks again, seriously this time.
“Won’t somebody see me when we’re out in the open, in full daylight?” I wonder, going off topic as it occurs to me.
“Don’t worry, there’s a path that leads from here straight to the compound,” he reassures me. “Now I’m going to ask again: do you want me to carry you?”
I deliberate for a second before agreeing, as long as I ride on his back. I was too out of it yesterday to care, but I don’t want to play the part of damsel in distress and have him hold me in that way. It’s just not me. Thankfully, he agrees.
It’s a pretty short trip, especially with how light the conversation is. The topic is his ringtone. I tease him about it while he attempts to defend himself by saying that because of me and my brothers, Sadie has lately taken into the habit of pulling pranks, and this just happens to be her latest. Deep down, I’m proud. I’ve taught her so well.
When we reach the compound several minutes later, I get off Logan’s back before we could come into the gate guard’s view. I’m happy with the way things turned out for us, and I’m not ashamed of anything. But I’m still uneasy about being in the spotlight. Being the alpha’s girlfriend/mate is bound to bring some unwanted attention to myself.
Still, Logan insists to hold hands at least as we walk to the pack house. We go up to his office this way, where Cade is probably waiting.
I almost tell him that I’ll wait outside for him or something, because I assumed he would do the same thing he used to do with Reena and not share this with me. But he tightens his hold on my hand as he opens his office door, like he expects me to be there. I silently comply, secretly pleased.
When we enter the office, I’m very surprised to find my parents in there. They seem equally shocked to see me. All at once, their eyes zero-in on my hand in Logan’s. I withdraw it self-consciously. Logan gives me a look when I do so, glancing at my family then back at me. Something convinces him to let the matter drop for now.
Accepting this, he walks to his desk and stands behind it. “What’s this about, Nash?” he questions, going straight to business.
“Remember the Carsons?” Cade asks him.
Logan nods along in confirmation. “Yes, of course. How could I forget them? Wait, what happened? Are they all right?”
Cade sees the look in Logan’s eyes, the fear that what happened to the family who was massacred has happened again. He rushes to reassure his alpha.
“They’re fine, they all are. They just moved.”
Logan visibly relaxes. “Oh. That’s right. Mr. Carson told me a while back that they’re thinking about moving.”
“Yeah, except they left most of their things behind, and when I tried to contact them, they didn’t answer me.”
He frowns. “Maybe they’re just busy.”
“That was last week,” Cade specifies, “and they still aren’t picking up.”
“Maybe they changed their home number,” my mom suggests.
“Not likely, ma’am,” Cade answers her. “And even if they did, they wouldn’t have moved without telling us at least where they’re going.”
“That’s still not cause for alarm, Nash,” Logan replies. “Yes, it’s odd, and a little unsettling, but we don’t know that anything happened. Maybe they decided to take an impromptu vacation and didn’t think to inform us.”
Vacation? Really? Even I see the unreality of that explanation. Oh God I’m affecting him so much that he’s become stupid!
“They didn’t seem like the type to do that,” Cade reminded him. “I think they’re running from something, and whatever it is could be related to your father’s project.”
Logan takes a moment to mull this over, while I contemplate whether or not to give my opinion on the subject. It’s been staring them in the face this whole time.
Come on, Logan, make the connection, I silently beg.
As if he heard me, he looks up at me with a startled look on his face. Or maybe he actually made the connection. I wait for him to say something, but after a moment, he just shakes his head, and goes back to thinking.
I can’t hold it in any longer. “Can I just state the obvious?” I interject, making all of them look at me. “Lone families, youngest kidnapped, running from something… doesn’t anyone think of us in this equation?” As I say ‘us’, I point to my parents, referring to my family and myself.
“I don’t think the lone families all have a werewolf daughter they’re keeping secret,” Logan interject.
“Actually, I was going to suggest that it’s about me,” I counter, a little annoyed that he cut me off and made wrong assumptions about what I was thinking. “You guys know my secret now, so you should be able to see where I’m going with this. All lone families? Youngest son always targeted? Come on, it’s like someone’s heard about me and is looking for me in the wrong place.”
Pursing my lips together, I wait for someone, anyone, to agree with me. This is actually a very plausible suggestion. I mean come on, what are the odds?
“I thought of that,” Logan tells me, “and we are looking into it. Don’t think too much about this, Dylan. Let me worry about it.”
I frown. “But I want to help,” I protest. He is not going to do to me what he did to Reena! “Even if this has nothing to do with me, I want to be able to contribute something. Don’t try to shut me out.”
Gone is happy and relaxed Logan. “Look,” he goes on, “we can’t be sure of anything. I don’t know half of the facts. That’s what has me worried. Either way, I have to take measures to protect you,” he says apologetically.
This irritates me a little, to be honest. I’ve had too many people shielding me as I was growing up, that’s not what I want or need from him.
“You’re putting me on house arrest, aren’t you?” I accuse, remembering how my parents used to do that during the too few times when I was almost discovered.
He blinks at me in surprise. “No, of course not,” he assures me. “I’m just saying that you’re going to be spending a lot of time with me.”
“Oh,” I say, a bit ashamed.
“I would never think of doing that to you, no matter what might be happening,” he promises. “As a matter of fact, some of us from the pack are going to our beach house tomorrow, just for a couple of days. Your family is invited.”
I’m not the only one who hesitates. “Uh, Logan, I’m not so sure about that –” Dad starts.
It’s one thing to parade me around in girl clothes. But a swimsuit? Yeah, hard pass.
“Don’t worry Steven, the house is a private property, and it’s a secluded beach. Dylan will be safe, so long as she doesn’t arrive or leave as a girl,” Logan reassures him.
“Oh, well in that case, I suppose the boys would all like to come, wouldn’t they, honey?” Mom immediately agrees, addressing my dad.
I’m trying to tell them that this is not really the reason why I don’t think I can go to the beach. But of course, I’m too embarrassed to try to say anything. Plus, they’ve all but spat on their hands and shook on it like businessmen. I can’t just barge in like that and say ‘no, you go, I don’t want to.’
“What do you say, Dylan?” Logan asks me with a hopeful smile on his face.
It’s the look
that gets to me. It tells me just how excited he is about this, and that it would make him really happy. It kills the ‘no’ trying to be formed and bubble out of my mouth.
“Sure, let’s go to the beach,” I reluctantly agree.
CHAPTER 19
I swear, if she hadn’t caught me, I never in a million years would have agreed to wear one of Sadie’s bikinis. But still, did she have to pick the bright blue one? I’m going to be flashing like a neon sign on that beach because of these stupid –and tiny, might I add– triangular pieces of clothes that barely cover a patch of skin, and have the brightest color I’ve ever seen. I would have preferred the black speedo with short bottoms. I wouldn’t be feeling so naked in those.
“It’s time to get out, Dyl!” the devil herself calls from the other side of the door.
I’m staying in here no matter what she threatens me with, I decide with determination.
The drive here didn’t feel too long because I ended up falling asleep. But I was dreading this so much that I had a nightmare where I came out in a tiny swimsuit that suffocated me and ended up tearing off. Everybody saw me and laughed, even though I was hiding in the water. Then I drowned, and woke up when we got there and somebody was shaking me.
“Bad dream?” Logan had asked me.
He made me sit in the front with him, for some reason. I simply nodded and got out of the van, leaving him no opportunity to ask what it was about.
“You’ve been in there almost half an hour, now,” Sadie points out. “Logan’s starting to fret. If you don’t come out soon, I have a feeling he’ll rip the door off its hinges.”
My worry intensifies. I was counting on getting my period as an excuse to get out of this, but no such luck. Nothing has happened yet. Just when I start to think maybe there’s an up side to being a girl, my body fails me again. The universe seriously has a twisted sense of humor.
“Oh look, here he comes! I wonder what he’ll say when I tell him about your internet researches,” she trails off, mocking.
Instantly, my blood goes cold. I unlock the door to the tiny bathroom that also serves as a changing cabin and hastily open it. Sticking my head out, I look around for his approach, but the larger crowd is still farther down by the beach. There’s no one except me and the wicked witch of the world within hearing distance, thanks to the roaring sound of the waves. Relieved beyond words, I glare at her.
“I hate you,” I hiss.
She smiles angelically. “You love me,” she throws back in a sing-song voice. “Now get out. I mean it, I will tell him.”
I huff, look around once more to make sure there isn’t anyone close enough to see, and step out. My gigantic Finding Nemo towel is wrapped firmly around my torso and covers me down to my calves. It’s not a very good look, but it’s better than being exposed, at least. I don’t know how I’m going to pull this off, but I know one thing: I am not getting out of this towel. And I am definitely not stepping in the water. I don’t care what I have to do, and whom I have to yell at, no one is going to make me set foot in there.
“I really don’t see what the big deal is,” Sadie comments, as she leads the way to the others. “You have a great body. Why shouldn’t you show it off?”
I grip my towel in both hands and walk slowly behind her. “Of course you don’t,” I mutter under my breath.
How would anyone get it? No one’s ever even seen more than my arms and neck, and possibly my stomach at the party a couple days ago. Now, fifteen people are going to see parts of me that only my parents have ever seen, and that was when I was a child.
Cade and Sadie, my brothers and the two girls in their lives, Jared, Sam, Zoey, Jason, who has by now ceased to send me death glares and started to avoid me altogether, Tyler and Blake, but most importantly Logan, are all expecting a show. The girl who used to be a boy, in a bikini. I might as well join the circus and call myself a freak.
While we’re walking down the man-made wooden path that leads from the cabin to the beach, my towel is suddenly ripped off my body by two pairs of hands, whose owners then take off running, taunting me. I gasp in shock and try to hang on to the towel, only to have it slip out of my hands painfully, burning the tips of my fingers. Panicking, I run after them.
“Why so shy, Dylan?” Jared laughs.
“Show us your hotness,” Sam joins in.
“Give that back, you *ssholes!” I shout.
They’re faster than me, which is just my luck, because I end up running after them across the entire fenced shore, zigzagging between all the people I was so afraid would see me, and giving them another kind of show.
When the twins stop and hold the towel out in front of me, I try to snatch it out of their hands, but they stand about seven feet apart on either side of me, ball it up and start throwing it back and forth. And I, like an idiot, go from one side to the other trying to grab it out of their hands. All this time, people are laughing, and I’m too humiliated to notice that it’s not because of the same reason as in my nightmare. Embarrassment like that clouds my vision of reality. A juvenile feeling of hurt settles in my stomach, causing a prickling sensation in my eyes.
While Jared holds the towel out of my reach, an arm breaks into my field of vision and suddenly tugs it out of his hands. Thinking it’s Sam, I’m about to go for him to take it back. I freeze when I see that it’s actually Logan.
I gasp. Holy Jon Snow, that boy looks hot in swim shorts!
I forgot what he looks like shirtless. The last time I saw him that way, I was busy being in shock. Up close like that, I can see the contours of his muscles clearer than ever. His torso has a faint T line of chest hair that goes down almost to his bellybutton.
Some very strange things happen to me then; excitement flutters from the pit my stomach and extends into my entire body, until I feel like I’m about to explode if I don’t jump him on right then and there. Without meaning to, my head faces downward until I’m looking up at him from between my lashes, with my eyes going round. I’m going nuts. It’s almost as if every atom of my body is singing, dancing and screaming with joy all at once, simply because of his presence.
It’s unsettling that I’m having this reaction in front of other people, for the first time. Those who are paying attention can probably sense my accelerated heartbeats. With any luck, I’m hoping they’ll pin that on the fact that I’ve been running around after a couple of imbeciles.
Embarrassed even more now, I stand there, breathing loudly –from running–, and wait for Logan to hand over my towel like I’m sure he will. However, he takes a moment to assess me from head to toe first. I would have thought he was checking me out, too, and blushed, if it wasn’t for the expression on his face. I see the same intimidating Logan I first met a few months ago, and it makes me doubt whether I’ve done something wrong or not. I swear, this guy is a pro at making people feel guilty with just one look, even when they haven’t really done anything to deserve it.
Logan then takes a step toward me and wraps me in the towel himself. Wordlessly, he grabs my hand and pulls me away from the crowd. I don’t protest once, because I’m relieved to be saved from public humiliation, and because this abrupt change is what I need to calm myself down.
The pack’s property is a beach of about three thousand square feet, almost rectangular shaped, located between two high cliffs and a couple of buildings –which they also own, and one of which is used as a beach house– that hide the shore from civilization. It’s an ideal place for someone who doesn’t want to be seen to go to.
That’s exactly why I get a bad feeling when Logan leads me away from the shore. However, when we get closer to the cliff on the left side, I notice that there’s a turn at the very back that we could hide behind. Logan heads straight for it, and I understand then that he wants privacy. The sun doesn’t reach this part, but it’s small enough to still have some light without being too small for the both of us to stand comfortably. Once we stop, Logan leans against the side of the cliff without letting go
of my hand, my other one holding the towel closed around my torso.
“What are we doing here?” I ask when the silence stretches for too long.
“I needed a moment,” he tells me.
“For what?” I wonder with confusion.
He shakes his head. “It’s… the mate thing is just… it’s making it hard for me not to overreact.”
I blink, still not understanding. “If you need to calm down, I could go and giv–”
He cuts me off. “You calm me down. Just stay, and don’t say anything for a minute.”
Whatever it is that’s confusing him, I don’t get it. But I respect his wishes and simply lean back next to him. The silence is heavy, and although I’ve calmed down, I am still a little restless. So I try to pass the time by holding his hand in both of mine and playing with his fingers. It’s ridiculous, but I can’t stay still and I need something to do. I count them, I bend them at the joints, and I even hold them from the base and pull until I reach their tips.
Logan then exhales loudly, which I take as my cue to stop and start up conversation again.
“Better?” I ask.
He coughs awkwardly before replying. “Yeah. Thanks for that, by the way,” he lightly says as he raises up our joint hands.
I smile. “Anytime. Mind telling me what’s gotten into you, now?”
He sighs and faces me. “I’m just discovering the negative side of being true mates.”
My eyebrows shoot up sarcastically. “Because it’s been so peachy up until now? I have yet to see anything impressive. I don’t know about you, but I was promised telepathic powers, and so far I’m not getting any signal. I feel ripped off.”
Amused by my rant, Logan chuckles. “Trust me, I’m hoping for that part to be true, as well,” he reassures me.
“Let’s just hope we won’t develop an urge to bite each other,” I joke.
He shakes his head with a small smile on his face. “You really spend too much time on the internet.”
Under different circumstances, I would have found a comeback in an instant, but the mention of the internet brings back what Sadie walked in on me looking up this morning, and the embarrassment returns full force. I sincerely hope Logan doesn’t open the browser history in his office laptop when we get back tomorrow, at least until I get the chance to clear it.