by Morgan James
“Do we have any idea what actually caused her death?”
Clay gave a brief shake of his head. “Not yet. We’ll probably have to wait another couple of days until the death certificate is officially in the system.”
I mulled that over, something not making sense. “Why would he blame Coleman? He’s been at the VA, right? She certainly wouldn’t have any reason to be there.”
“We’re checking into both of them, but it may take a while to get hospital records and such,” Con said. “We did run a cursory check on Coleman, and it looks like he was a vascular surgeon prior to transferring to the VA roughly five years ago.”
I’d remembered seeing Meredith roughly a year ago, right around the Fourth of July, and she’d seemed to be perfectly healthy. What the hell had happened in such a short amount of time?
I sighed and glanced at my watch. “I’ve got a client dinner in half an hour, so I gotta bolt. Keep me posted?”
“Give us a few hours.”
“Thanks.”
I left QSG with more questions than answers, and still stunned about the news of Meredith’s death. Were these incidents separate, or was her death some sort of catalyst? Either way, we needed to figure it out sooner rather than later—before Kate got caught in the crosshairs again.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Kate
After a quiet dinner with Phil, I headed to my room. I climbed into bed, wondering where Gavin was and who he was with. He had texted me intermittently throughout the evening, taking a little sting out of the jealousy that had reared up. I knew he took clients out to dinner from time to time—I’d run into him at Eros while he’d been doing the same thing. But the idea of him sitting across from a pretty female client in a romantic restaurant folded my stomach into knots.
He’d said he would see me when he got home, but he hadn’t specified when that might be. Tonight? Tomorrow morning? I wasn’t going to show my cards and give him the satisfaction of looking for him. I’d been bored out of my mind sitting here all day, even with Phil’s company. Worse, I couldn’t get Gavin off my mind. Surrounded by his things, it was even harder than usual. I thought of the past couple days and how attentive he’d been, and I realized I was in deep trouble. I wouldn’t be able to hold him off much longer. If I was entirely honest with myself, I wasn’t sure I wanted to. He was sweet and funny and sexy as hell, even if he did try to change my dog’s name. Peanut, or Thor as Gavin liked to call him, had made good friends with Phil, and he’d spent the last couple of nights sleeping in the spare bedroom downstairs.
I picked up the book on the nightstand and began to read but couldn’t focus, my thoughts continually drawn back to Gavin. My life was rapidly spiraling out of control, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I knew the police were doing everything they could to find the person responsible, but I also knew it was a long shot. For better or worse, I was stuck in Gavin’s house for the foreseeable future.
I felt on edge, and though a huge part of that was due to the shooting at the coffee shop, I knew this sexual tension building between Gavin and me was a contributing factor. It was thick enough to cut with a knife, and my skin ached with the need to be touched. I’d stopped him a couple nights ago; now I wished I hadn’t. I was on fire for him, but I didn’t want to give in. I was afraid it would make me look easy in his eyes, and I hated the idea.
With a harsh exhale, I tossed the book on the nightstand and turned off the light. The darkness only made it worse. The room felt empty, and I craved his touch. The soft sheets caressed my body, and the scent of laundry detergent wafted up to me from the pillow, reminding me of the way Gavin smelled—manly and fresh. Damn the man.
I closed my eyes and indulged in the fantasy of Gavin sliding into bed next to me. I could practically feel his lips on mine, his hands skimming over my flesh. My body warmed, and I sneaked my hand below the waistband of my panties. Spreading my legs, I bit my lip as I dipped a finger between my folds. As good as it felt, it was nothing like the way Gavin had touched me. When I finally came on a brief cry, I felt strangely unfulfilled and slightly disappointed.
I curled onto my side and lay there for several minutes, staring into the dark. I felt more alone than I did even when Steve and I had first separated. I couldn’t explain it, and it sounded stupid to my own ears. I’d chosen this; I’d kept Gavin at arm’s length, and he wouldn’t make a move until I gave the green light.
At some point over the past few weeks, my heart had begun to heal. If I hadn’t known all along that Steve and I weren’t meant to be, being with Gavin solidified it. We’d only been intimate once, but there was an inexplicable connection, an indefinable emotion between us. And even after everything, he’d never wavered from his course. Most men would have thrown in the towel and walked away. But not Gavin. He said he wanted me, would wait forever—and he’d been true to his word. We’d had our hiccups, but I knew he was loyal. If I gave him my heart, he would treasure it, do his best never to hurt me.
A knock on the door startled me, and I practically jumped from the bed. Worried that Phil might need something, I quickly yanked on my robe and crossed to the door. I opened it a few inches and peered through the dimly lit space, my heart jumping as Gavin’s face came into view.
“Hey,” he said quietly. “Just wanted to check on you before bed.”
This side of him made my knees weak, and I wrapped my hand around the edge of the door, using it to steady myself. “I’m fine,” I whispered.
“Good.” He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Were you bored today?”
“A little bit.” I shrugged and leaned my head against the back of my hand where it curled around the door. “But your dad was here to keep me company at least, so it wasn’t too bad.”
“I’m glad.” He stared at me for several long seconds. “I like having you here.”
His admission made my heart swell. “Me too.”
He leaned forward a little bit, then froze, nostrils flaring slightly as his gaze dropped to my fingers—fingers that had just been inside me only moments before. Completely mortified, I immediately straightened and dropped my hand to my side.
“I—I should get to bed,” I stammered.
I tried to shut the door, but Gavin stopped it with his foot, a slow smile spreading across his face. “What’s wrong, Kate?”
I shook my head emphatically. “Nothing. Just tired.”
“Is that all?”
I started to nod, and he snatched up my hand. I tried to pull it back, but his hold was too firm, and he tugged me closer. “What did you do today?”
“Oh, you know.” My gaze darted around the room as I stalled for time. My eyes moved back to his, and I found myself frozen in place as he lifted my hand to his lips. Eyes locked on mine, he took my index finger in his mouth. His tongue curled around it, and I felt the light sting of teeth as he scraped along my flesh.
I let out a little whimper, and he chuckled. “Did you miss me?” Somehow, I managed a tiny nod, and his eyes seemed to darken further. “You’re all I think about.”
He nipped my finger again, and I fought to hold in a whimper as heat raced through me. “Did you take the edge off?”
My gaze skittered away as I licked my lips and reluctantly nodded.
“Were you thinking of me?”
I swallowed hard and managed another tiny nod.
“Did it help?”
I met those unfathomably dark eyes again, and our gazes held for a long moment before I shook my head.
“I can make it go away.”
Yes, please. My body literally ached for him; all I had to do was say one little word, and he would make the pain go away. We stood barely a foot apart, yet I felt as if we were on the precipice of a great divide. The time had come to either risk everything and jump or turn away. For the first time in a long time, I shut off my brain and listened to my heart.
“Yes.”
One dark eyebrow lifted toward his hairline. “Y
es what?”
“I want you.”
Gavin slipped between the narrow space, then closed and locked the door behind him. “God, Kate, I’ve missed you so much.”
“Wait—what about your dad?” I whispered as he attacked my neck.
He broke the kiss long enough to speak. “Don’t worry. He’s on the other side of the house. He won’t hear a thing. Now...” He gripped the hem of my shirt and gave it a little tug. “Let’s get you naked.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Gavin
My blood felt like it was on fire, and I couldn’t wait another second to be inside her. Thank God for the loose shirt she chose to sleep in. I tore it from her body, and she stood in front of me perfectly, gloriously naked. I wanted to touch every inch of her, use my lips and tongue to trace each curve—later. Right now, I just needed to be inside her before I exploded from wanting her.
“Bed—now,” I managed.
She let out a tense little laugh. “You sound a little worked up.”
“You think?” I chuckled as I took her hand and guided it to my groin. Beneath the fabric I was swollen with arousal, painfully hard. “God, I’ve been waiting for this for weeks. I’ve been jerking off at least once a day thinking of you.”
She cocked a brow. “What about your other women?”
“There was never another woman—I told you that.” I took her in my arms. “There hasn’t been since I met you, and there won’t be another.”
Her teeth sank into her lower lip as she stared up at me. “Really?”
“Promise.” I cupped the back of her head possessively. “You’re it for me.”
She sat heavily on the edge of the mattress, then pushed herself backward, bracing herself on her elbows as she watched me from beneath hooded, sultry eyes.
Fishing out the condom I’d been carrying around for the past couple of days—just in case—I shucked my pants and socks in one fluid movement. Stroking my hard-on with one hand, I ripped the foil packet open with my teeth and rolled the condom over the swollen head, then levered myself over her. “Your shoulder’s okay?”
“Yeah, it’s—” Her words splintered into a low moan as I lightly bit the spot where her neck met her shoulder.
“Good.” I soothed the sting with my tongue. “First time’s gonna be fast and hard. Can’t go slow—it’s been too damn long.”
“For me, too,” she said as her head dropped back and she reached for me, her fingers wrapping around my biceps. “I want you so bad.”
Hearing her say those words—admitting that she felt the same way I did—made my heart swell with satisfaction. I kneed her legs apart, then settled between her silky thighs. Her hands coasted upward and curled around my shoulders as I rolled my hips, nudging her soft opening. The head slipped an inch inside, and she let out a little sigh. She was wet, soaked and ready for me. I pressed forward and I hissed in a breath as she took me all the way in with one hard stroke.
Sliding one hand beneath her hips, I lifted her to meet each thrust, sinking deep inside, unable to get close enough, deep enough. I wanted to feel every inch of her wrapped around me, wanted her to feel me for days. I hammered into her hard and fast, claiming her mouth and drinking in her cries of pleasure.
Her nails dug into my back, and her thighs tightened around my hips. I could feel the tension in her muscles as she raced closer and closer to the edge. Her heels dug into the back of my legs, and she finally went over, sinking her teeth into my shoulder to stifle the sharp cry of release.
Her muscles tightened around me, spurring me on, and I let myself go. Four deep strokes, and I came with a groan and steeled my muscles to keep from smashing her into the mattress. My body felt drained, and it took every ounce of energy I had to climb from the bed to dispose of the condom. On shaky legs, I made my way back to the bed and slid in next to her, pulling her close.
She came to me like she couldn’t stand to be away for one more second, her body molding to mine as I pulled her in close. I turned my face into her hair and breathed deeply, inhaling the scent of her. For the rest of my life, I knew each time I smelled that jasmine-scented shampoo, I would think of Kate. I traced little circles on her shoulder as I spoke. “I missed you.”
She tilted her face to mine, a small smile playing over her lips. “I’ve been living with you for the past three days.”
“Not like that.” I turned slightly to face her and gestured between us. “This. When you’re open and unguarded.”
The smile slipped away, and she rolled to her back. “I’m just...”
She trailed off, and I grasped her chin, guiding her back to me. “Just what, sweetheart?”
“I don’t know.” She licked her lips. “Everything with you feels like it’s too good to be true.”
“Why?”
“I’ve never felt this way before, and it’s scary.”
“I can understand that. You’ve been hurt before, and you want to protect yourself. But it’s just me, babe. You’ll learn to trust me.”
“I do trust you. It’s just... I don’t know how to act, how to... be.”
“Just be with me.” I drew one finger over her nose and across her cheek. “We’ll take it slow, no pressure.”
Yet, I silently amended. There wasn’t a single moment when I couldn’t envision her by my side, and I wanted it all with her—marriage, kids, everything. Over the past few months, I’d come to know more about her than she realized. I might not know her favorite movie or which foods she hated, but I knew her. I knew she was fiercely independent but loyal to those she cared about. She was stubborn, strong, and spirited, and she would fight for whatever she felt was right. I wanted a lifetime of fighting and making up, falling more in love with her each day.
“You’re perfect just the way you are, and I love you for it.”
She sucked in a breath and dropped her gaze away. I gave her a second, gauging how far to push her before I slipped my finger beneath her chin and lifted her gaze to mine. “For the record, that was me telling you how much I care about you. You don’t have to say anything”—I swept my thumb over her lips when they parted—“I just wanted you to know. I’ll wait as long as you want; I’m not going anywhere.”
She burrowed her face against my chest, her arms coming up to embrace me. I held her tightly to me, stroking her hair, silently offering comfort and support. Finally, she pulled away.
“I’m sorry I pushed you away.”
“It’s fine. I—”
She shook her head, those big blue eyes boring into mine in the pale moonlight. “It’s not fine. I was wrong. I...” She blew out a breath. “I just kept thinking there’s no way you could want me when you could have any girl out there. All I could think about was getting close to you, then being cheated on, like last time. And when that girl from the bar came along—”
Guilt slammed into me at her words. “Kate—”
“I was terrified.”
“Because you thought I’d proved you right,” I stated softly.
“Not just that, but...” She bit her lip. “When I saw you with her, it hit me hard just how much I was already falling for you, even then.”
It was an admission I wasn’t expecting. “Sweetheart...”
She placed her palm over my heart. “I was so worried about being hurt again that I completely shut you out, and it wasn’t fair. I’m sorry for making stupid assumptions and comparing you to my ex. I thought if I kept you at a distance, it wouldn’t hurt so badly when you left.”
“I’m not leaving.” I brushed my nose over hers. “You got a raw deal, and I’m sorry for that. I’m not like him, and I hope you realize that.”
“I do.”
“I know this isn’t ideal,” I murmured softly as I played with a lock of hair that had fallen across her cheek. “I just want you to be safe.”
Her eyes drifted away, and her expression turned pensive. “I haven’t heard anything from the police yet.”
Levering to my elbow, I propped my
head on my hand. “I’m sure they’re working on it.”
She nodded a little and opened her mouth to speak, then slammed it closed again. I lifted a brow at her. “Something on your mind?”
She shook her head, and I framed her face in one hand. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
She rolled her lips in, then took a deep breath. “I just... What happens when it’s over?”
I didn’t pretend not to know what she was talking about. “What do you want to happen?”
She lifted one shoulder a little, her gaze fixed on my chest. Her question about the future gave me hope, but at the same time, I didn’t want to push too hard. I’d already told her I loved her tonight; would she freak out if I told her I wanted her right here by my side every single night? Probably. I settled on the best response I could come up with on the fly. “All I want is you. Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be.”
Blue eyes lifted to mine, liquid in the pale light of the moon. “Okay.”
It was a step in the right direction, and a smile curved my mouth. “Okay.”
She lifted her chin, offering her mouth to me, and I met her halfway, pouring all the words I couldn’t say into that kiss.
Chapter Thirty
Kate
I kissed Gavin goodbye, then closed the garage door behind him as he reversed out of the driveway. I immediately headed upstairs to my room and peeked out the window to make sure he was gone before I grabbed my phone from my nightstand.
I’d thought about it off and on for the past twenty-four hours, and something about the situation just didn’t sit well. I brought up the home screen on my phone, then selected the number for the VA. After making my way through the automated system, I tapped my nails impatiently against the nightstand as I waited for the call to connect. Three rings later, Stella’s honeyed voice floated over the phone.