by Ruby Vincent
I couldn’t make sense of it, nor could I understand the silence the room was plunged in when the door swung shut behind me.
My eyes swept the room to the sight of upturned noses and hostile glares, and those were from the people who would look at me. Many turned their head away when I glanced at them—Sofia included.
My chest tightened at the sight of her. Why is she being like this?
“Miss Moon.” I tore my eyes away and turned toward Markham. Her face carried the usual no-nonsense expression, and I waited for my telling off for being late. “Have a seat, please,” she said simply.
Slowly, I picked up my feet and walked up to the phone box. Giving the class my back, I placed my cell inside as whispers broke out behind me.
I locked up the box and headed for my seat. More whispers followed me, and this time they were accompanied by hushed snickers. I didn’t have to ask if they were talking about me, I felt the weight of their side-eyes pressing on me, making my hair stand on end.
What was going on?
I fixed on Sofia as I took my seat. She was looking out the window, pretending she couldn’t see me coming.
“Sof?” I whispered. “What the hell was that back there? Is everything okay?”
No answer.
“Sofia?”
Her only movement was a slight tightening of her jaw.
My hands curled into fists. “Sofia?” I hissed. “You just smacked the crap out of me, at least you can tell me why!”
Screeech!
Metal scraped across the floor as Sofia pushed her chair back. She snatched her backpack up and stamped off to a desk in the back. I watched her go open-mouthed.
I swallowed hard. Pressure was building behind my eyes—a familiar prickling that warned of tears pushing against the floodgates. How could she just walk away from me like that?
I shifted around in my seat and caught Claire’s look before she quickly dropped her gaze. “Claire? What’s going on with Sofia?”
My friend hunched over her desk, fixing her attention on her textbook.
“Claire?” Her cheeks pinked under my eyes, but she did not look up. She steadfastly ignored me. “Cla—”
The door banged open and all eyes snapped to the front as Jaxson strolled in. It was a familiar scene. He tossed a careless “Sorry I’m late. Knight business,” at Markham as he crossed the room to his seat. An easy smile graced his lips as he ran his fingers through his growing blond hair, and the sight of him actually put me at ease.
Maybe he can tell me why everyone’s lost it.
He passed by my desk, hitting me with a wave of his spicy sweet scent, and I reached for his arm. “Jaxson, I need to talk to y—”
My fingers brushed his skin.
“Yo!” Jaxson recoiled, shooting away from me like my touch burned. “What do you think you’re doing?!”
My cheeks warmed as every eye turned on us. “Me? What is wrong with you? Why are you freaking out?”
His handsome face twisted into a scowl. “If you have to ask then it’s clear you still don’t know how it works around here, but you’re going to find out real soon.” He leveled a finger at me. “You were the Knight business.”
“Me? What are you talking about?”
He scoffed. “Here’s a tip for free: Get out of here.”
“Get out of where? Class?” I reared up. “You can’t kick me out of—”
“Get out of Evergreen.” His words chilled me as effectively as the look in his eyes. This was a Jaxson I hadn’t seen before. No playful smile. No flirting. No heart-pounding laugh. “Now, Valentina.”
I stiffened. Jaxson never called me by my full name.
“Before we make you.”
The words hung in the air as Jaxson streamed past me, ignoring the seat by my side that he had claimed all those weeks ago.
I sat there for a while as the snickers got louder. They were invading my brain, niggling inside and planting seeds of doubt. Had I done something? What was going on?
My mind turned up no answers to these questions.
Focus on something else, I thought. Ignore them.
I didn’t know what else to do so I bent and took out my homework. Numbers and equations demanded my attention as I tried to complete my math, but whispers and laughter pressed in on me. The invisible band around my chest squeezed, tightening and tightening until I stopped breathing.
IF I THOUGHT MY MORNING would get better after homeroom, I was wrong. The strange silent treatment kept up through English and PE It wasn’t just the students either. Professor Strange pretended she didn’t see me every time I raised my hand.
By the time I pulled on my dress and made for the cafeteria, I didn’t need to ask if something was off, I knew it was, and I knew it was entirely about me. I saw it in the filthy looks people I never even spoke to were throwing me. I felt it in the slap of my best friend.
But what did I do that would make the entire freshman class turn on me? Why was this happening?
I stepped through the doors of the lunchroom, and for the fourth time that day, the room fell silent. Clenching my fists, I lifted my chin and walked stiffly to the lunch line. I fell in behind two girls from my biology class.
Emma and Lola were deep in conversation until Emma noticed me over her friend’s shoulder. She cut off mid-sentence.
“Oh, hi, Val,” said Emma. She smiled at me. “Why don’t you go ahead of us?”
“What?” I stepped back. “Why?”
She shrugged. “It’s good today. Quinoa salad and tomato spinach grilled cheese.” Her smile slipped. “Besides, I heard what you’ve been... going through.” Emma and Lola both stepped to the side. “Please, go ahead.”
After a few seconds, I returned their supportive smiles with one of relief. “Thanks, guys.”
“No problem,” Emma replied as I moved to take her place. I was taking down my tray when her next comment landed. “Lunch is so important, and we want to make sure you eat.”
“Make sure I eat?” I glanced over my shoulder and went rigid at the change in her expression. The smile was morphing into one that was sharper, nastier.
“Yeah,” Lola piped up. “We know about your little problems with food. Tell us: how many times did you have to stick your finger down your throat to get into that size zero?”
Sniggering rang out all around me as red stained my cheeks. My tray shook in my hands. “I don’t know,” I snapped. “I think it’s the same as the number of nose jobs you got to get that beak.”
Lola’s hand flew to her nose. “I don’t have a— Hey, don’t walk away from me, bitch!”
I ignored her and stomped off. My feet carried me down my usual path to my table. I was a few feet away when I slowed down.
Where’s my chair?
The chair next to Sofia was gone. An obvious gap that I knew meant something. Maybe I should have turned around, but I couldn’t. I needed someone to tell me what was going on.
I stopped in front of my friends’ table. They were in the middle of a conversation.
“—such a good time. You’ve got to send me the pictures you took at the dance.”
“Guys, where is my seat?”
Neither Sofia, Paisley, Eric, nor Claire looked up.
“I’ll send them to you tonight,” said Sofia, sounding like her old self. “Text me to remind me.”
“Sofia, can I talk to you?” I asked. “I don’t know what happened to you today, but you can’t go around hitting me.”
“Also,” began Claire, “we should start talking study groups now that finals are coming up.”
“They aren’t until the end of the month,” Eric said. “I’ll worry about them the week before.”
Laughing, Paisley shoved his shoulder. “Then you’ll be a sleep-wrecked mess and crying into your textbooks every night in the library.”
“I’ll accept my fate.”
Fate. The word struck me as the four of them devolved into chuckles. It settled uncomfortably like a pit in
my stomach.
That’s it.
I slammed my tray on the table. The four of them jumped. “Guys, stop pretending you don’t see me! What is wrong with everyone today?! Talk to me!”
Paisley shot me a look that didn’t sit well on her pretty face. “We’re not talking to you. So will you take the fucking hint, Moon, and go away!”
I flinched, my anger taking a hit. “But why? Guys, if I did something to piss you off, just tell me.”
Paisley’s response was to spin around in her seat, giving me her back.
I glanced at Eric for help. “Eric, what’s up?”
His face was grave. “There’s nothing we can do, Val. Just go.”
I didn’t know what was worse. Paisley’s venom or Eric’s resignation. “But, guys—”
“Damn, do you listen?!” I jerked my head up at the shout. “They said to go away!”
This had come from Kevin Jones—a boy from my art class who blushed when our hands touched reaching for the same brush.
“No one wants you here! Get out!” Kevin closed his hand over his bottled water and lobbed it at me. I ducked with a scream as it went whizzing through the spot my head was just in.
“Yeah! Get out!”
I was crouched on the floor when the first sandwich smacked my forehead and slid down my face. Then all hell broke loose.
Food rained down on me as furious as the shouts, screams, and insults they were hurling my way. I picked myself off the floor and ran. I stumbled when I slipped on a piece of lettuce, but didn’t stop fleeing.
I cried out as another water bottle struck me in the back. Picking up the pace, I burst through the doors and slammed into a hard body. I bounced off them like a pinball and landed on my ass.
“Whoa there. Where do you think you’re going?”
Dread filled my bones at the sound of his voice. I lifted my head and all four of them gazed down at me: Ezra, Jaxson, Maverick, and Ryder.
Ryder smirked. “Hold her.”
“Wha—”
Maverick sprung forward and scooped me up. He crushed my back to his chest, facing me toward the other three boys, as he secured an arm like iron around my stomach.
“Hey! Get off! Let me go!”
“Shh, shh, shh,” Ryder said. “There’s no need for that.” His voice was soft—almost gentle. He reached out and brushed the hair that had escaped my ponytail out of my eyes. He didn’t pull back. “We’re not going to hurt you”—his grin grew wicked—“physically.”
“What’s going on, Ryder?” I rasped. “What did you do?”
“Me?” He cocked his head. “I didn’t do a thing. This was all you.” He traced a path to my cheekbones. “I left you alone just like you wanted, Val, but I knew all I had to do was wait. Soon, you’d screw up and we’d be here. It was fate.”
“Screw up? But I didn’t do anything.” My eyes found Ezra’s. “Ezra, what is this? What’s going on?”
His polite smile was firmly in place as he lifted his shoulder. “I’d say you were a smart girl and you’d figure this out,” he said with mock pleasantness, “but I am your tutor, so I know you’re not.”
The boys laughed—even Maverick. I felt the rumble of his chest as he mocked me and it churned my stomach. It writhed and twisted like it did before I threw up. “Maverick,” I whispered. “How can you be like this? The other night—”
“You talking about when you hooked up with my boy behind the gym?” Jaxson spoke up. He grinned as he rested his elbow on Ezra’s shoulder. “That was like five— four seconds after you stuck your tongue down Ezra’s throat?” He shook his head. “And everyone said the Virgin would be a challenge. Seems to me like she gives it up pretty easily.”
I flushed.
“I never said that,” Ryder joined in. His fingers were still on my face, stroking my cheek in a way that could have been mistaken for affectionate. “I told you she was a whore like her mother. I’d bet half my fortune she’s lying about being a virgin too.”
Jaxson hummed. “The whore thing would explain how she affords all these jewels and expensive dresses. Damn, why didn’t we see it before? The girl’s got customers.”
“Stop it!” I shrieked when they laughed again. “What is wrong with you people?!
They kept going like I hadn’t spoken. “Well, I don’t care who she gives her services to,” Ezra said. “I won the bet. I was the first to hook up with her. Pay up.”
I choked. “Wha—”
“Hold up.” Ryder cut in. “It was which of you three slept with her first. You haven’t won yet.”
Jaxson shrugged. “I can settle that right now.” He pinned me with his stare. “How much for a fuck, Val? I’ll pay your rates.”
“You piece of shit!” The words exploded out of me. “I’m not a prostitute!”
“Isn’t that cheating anyway?” Ezra asked. “Let’s just call it a kiss and give me my winnings.” He smirked. “How much did we bet? Oh, yeah... one dollar.”
The pressure was building behind my eyes. Every hateful word flayed me alive, peeling back my skin and exposing the raw, soft part of me that had allowed herself to hope, to trust three of the beasts surrounding me, to think that things could truly be different for me.
I should have known the final beast would never let that happen.
“Why, Ryder?” His hand had moved to my hair now, lazily wrapping a curl around his finger. “I’ve never done anything to you. Why do you hate me so much?”
His face changed. The taunting smirk disappeared behind his cold, stony mask. “This isn’t about you and me. I didn’t start this, Val, you did.” He closed the distance between us until our noses brushed. His silver eyes filled my vision. “It was you,” he whispered, “who went where she didn’t belong, and saw what she wasn’t supposed to see.”
His hand left my hair and moved down my chin. He pressed his fingers gently to my lips. “And now they’ll make sure you keep your pretty mouth quiet.”
“W-what happened in those woods?” My mouth moved against him. “What did you do, Ryder?”
“It’s all about what you did now. You saw it for yourself. Opened your locker and discovered your life had changed just like I did.”
Opened my locker...
“You’re marked, Val,” he went on. “Your time in Evergreen is up. But it’s okay because you never belonged here anyway. One way or another, I was going to get rid of you.”
My body trembled. I was practically vibrating in Maverick’s hold, but despite my tumultuous feelings, I looked Ryder right in the eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He chuckled. “You won’t last the week. Save yourself the trouble and pack your bags now.”
My eyes narrowed. “No.”
Ryder heaved a sigh like I was being difficult. “Suit yourself, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. Just remember one thing.” He tapped my lips. “Keep that whore mouth shut—”
I lunged forward and snapped, viciously biting down on his finger.
“Argh! Fuck!”
Ryder shot away from me, roughly yanking his finger from my teeth, and the surprise got Maverick to loosen his grip.
I reared back and buried my elbow in his gut. Maverick grunted in pain and his arm loosened some more. I took my chance.
I darted out of his hold and raced down the hallway faster than I had ever run in my life. Their shouts followed me down the hallway although their feet didn’t. They weren’t chasing me, but I didn’t stop running.
My leather shoes squeaked as they scuffed the polished floors. My reflection ran with me, pacing me in the glass of the hall of windows, looking not nearly as awful as I felt. I lit upon the girls’ bathroom at the end of the hall and dove inside. Breaths coming in rapid pants, my chest heaved as I sucked in air that did nothing to help. I fell against the door.
Scratch, scratch, scratch.
Nails dug into my chest as I slid onto the floor. The pressure was beneath my skin. It was boiling with rage and pain and feelings I couldn�
�t name, but knew well. They scoured me, trying to rub me away—trying to undo all the work I had done to change.
It was too much. I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t fight it.
When the first tear rolled down my cheek, I gave myself to the pain, and sobbed.
I LOCKED MYSELF IN the bathroom for the rest of lunch, ignoring the bangs on the door from other people trying to get in. I had earned my space. After all, I had just found out three boys I thought liked me had been betting to see which one could hook up with me first.
I didn’t know who to be angrier at. Them or me. I should have stayed away from them like I resolved from the beginning, but all the time I spent with them made me believe I shouldn’t judge them based on Ryder.
What a fucking idiot.
Sighing, I let my head fall back against the door. No one who could be friends with Ryder was a good guy. I should have seen that.
This isn’t only about their bet, I reminded myself. My hand moved to the pocket of my dress and the single card that had been burning a hole in it all day.
Once I stopped crying, I turned my thoughts to what else Ryder said.
“I didn’t start this, Val, you did. It was you who went where she didn’t belong, and saw what she wasn’t supposed to see.”
“You’ve been marked.”
I slipped the card from my pocket and met the hideous smile of the joker.
“But why do people have to listen to them?” I said into the empty space. “Because if they don’t... they’re marked.”
I remembered what Paisley said that day. What I don’t remember is why I didn’t press for more information? Something had been done to me and I still didn’t know exactly what or why.
This card had lost me my friends in the space of an hour. It lost me the good feelings of my classmates, and if what happened in homeroom and the cafeteria was anything to go by, it had cost me the protection of the staff. No one had spoken up to help me. How far would this go before someone did? What would I do if no one did?
I was no stranger to bullying. Joe Young Middle had been a brutal place for a girl with holes in her clothes and no money for lunch. Things had gotten slightly better in the month I was at Joe Young High, but still it was a relief to leave and start over in a better place. If I left Evergreen, there would be no going back there.