“Then I’ll make you come a second time.”
“I usually need a little break.”
“Do you?” He arched a brow. “I don’t think I can go easy on you. You were warned about me.”
“Oh god,” I breathed. When he said that I just started losing it. He was right. I got this feeling that if I just surrendered to him, he could give me so many orgasms I wouldn’t even be able to count them anymore. “Ohh. Ohh!”
He was sketching like the wind now, I heard the pencil scraping a bunch of frantic lines. He rubbed himself with his left hand. “Yes,” he said. “Faster. Faster.”
“Alec! Al—rmph mmf…”
Suddenly I couldn’t scream anymore.
And then I was spitting out fur. And the room was dark, and Alec was gone, and a fox was sitting on my chest giving me a look of utter disdain.
“Well, that was loud,” he said.
“Peh!” I wiped my tongue off.
“I’m sorry. I don’t have hands.” Firian sounded extremely pissed. “So the incubus can do distance dreams too, huh?”
I slowed my breathing. “I’m so sorry, Firian. I wish you could touch me. Did Dad hear?”
“Probably not, thanks to the fact that I threw myself down on top of your mouth as you started yelling, ‘Ohhh! Alec!’”
I covered my face with my hands. “This is the worrrst.”
“I agree,” Firian said. “I would have been happy to pick up where he left off and smother your screams.” He looked depressed, and he was adorable when he was depressed, but I had to remind myself again not to think of him as a fox. I couldn’t get used to it. I had to fix him.
What if I can’t? What if he’s stuck like this forever?
“Did you finish?” he said.
“No, obviously not!” I snapped. “But it’s okay. I know it’s worse for you.” I put my arms around his soft fur. “What are fox penises like?”
“Interesting, but small.”
“Can I turn into a fox?”
“Not unless you have even more hidden talents than I’m aware of.”
We both snorted with laughter. Then we sighed. Then we fell asleep together again, and I dreamed about getting lost on campus, with no sexy Alec in sight.
It was a very, very, very long summer.
Chapter Four
Firian
So, this was my life now.
Being able to turn into an animal is very useful, and I had spent a good half my life as a fox. But getting stuck in fox form? The worst.
That spell stripped my humanity away. I wasn’t Charlotte’s boyfriend anymore. I could practically see her trying to look at me the way she used to, conjuring up something in her imagination, because the real me was now nonexistent. She could snuggle my fur. We could watch TV together. I was a useful ear when she was sad, I guess.
But, basically, I was a pet now, and life was full of indignities. This was not my world now. This was the human world and it was made for bipedal creatures with opposable thumbs.
However, there was another realm that was mine, and it was where familiars my age supposedly belonged most of the time. I was spending more time in Etherium now. Even there, I was locked into my fox form, but it was easier to maneuver around that with magic. In Etherium, the line between humanoid and animal was much thinner.
“Charlotte, I think it’s time I took you to Etherium,” I said.
“What? I can go to Etherium? You never said so before.”
“Well, it’s a strange place and witches don’t belong there,” I said. “Even though Etherium is safer than Sinistra, you need to stick close to me.”
“You can just take me there?”
“Yes,” I said. “A familiar is supposed to take his witch to Etherium at least once, and your dad said he’d work late today—” Besides I am going insane looking at you— “—so it seems like a good idea before summer ends.”
“Okay!” She bounced onto her feet. “Do I need anything? Maybe I should change.”
“No,” I said. Summer lazy Charlotte in a tank top and short shorts was a Charlotte I wanted to see as much of as possible.
“Are you sure? Will there be mystical beings in beautiful clothes there?”
“We’re not going to any of those sorts of places,” I assured her. “I’m taking you to my neck of the woods. Put a hand on me and I’ll transport you there.”
“Wait, let me leave a note for Dad just in case he gets home early.” She wriggled her feet into flats as she walked to the fridge to jot a note on the Byrne family bulletin. Under her dad’s unsubtle scrawl of ‘MILK BEER DONUTS’ she added ‘Went to Etherium with Firian, be back v. soon <3 <3”.
I really loved both of them. Although I could have done without the image of milk, beer and donuts together.
Then she crouched next to me and dug her fingers into my fur. Her touch felt wonderful, but I had to resist getting too affectionate. We both had our limits of weirdness.
“Hang on,” I said. “It’s weird at first.”
Traveling to Etherium was like blinking to me, but I knew for humans it was more jarring. Charlotte stumbled through the space between realms, and turned to me clutching her head.
Then a huge grin broke out on her face.
I had brought her to my cottage here, in my forest. It was very much like my cabin near her house, except everything in Etherium felt more like a fairy tale. The forests had profusions of wildflowers and songbirds, chipmunks and rabbits. The cottage was plastered on the exterior with green shutters and window boxes, where flowers grew without needing to be weeded and watered, as long as I remembered to appreciate them.
I walked to the door and it creaked open as if nudged by the gentle breeze. “Come in,” I said. “Have some ethereal food.”
“Yes please,” she said, following me in and drawing in a slow breath as she saw the spread of tea cups and matching pot, scones and jam and cream. “It’s like a tea room! Did you make this?”
“It’s the sort of thing that just appears when I have a guest.”
“It just appears?”
“It’s magic.”
“Okay…but…like…”
“Don’t think too hard,” I said. “I mean it. You might knock yourself back home if you start questioning things. This is a realm where magic is the law of the land. There are things I can do here I could never do in the Fixed Plane or even a Parallel. Like this—” I indulged in an illusion that made me look human again.
The look in her eyes killed me. “Firian!” Her hands flew toward me and I had to step back.
“Don’t touch me, Charlotte.”
“I can’t touch you?”
“It won’t go that far. Even here. But I can hold the illusion easily and even have tea with you.”
“Well, that’s no fun. You can hold a teacup, but not me?”
“The curse is meant to keep me from you. Not tea. So I can fight against the curse to drink tea, but not…”
“Oh…”
“I just…wanted to be human with you for a moment,” I said.
“I’d rather see your face,” she said. “Even if it’s all I get.”
“Just think of it as a step in our courtship,” I said. “Back in the old days, but not nearly as old as you might think…witches usually didn’t get to touch the object of their affection for years. Chaperones and all of that. At least we’ve had more than that…” My eyes drifted to the ring on her finger, which she twisted.
“Yes,” she said. “The memory is burned in my mind.” She picked up a scone, her face just short of sad. “I really liked when…I was with two of my guys at once. I was looking forward to—you know—all three of you.” She flushed. “Well, that came out racier than I meant.”
I was trying to drink my tea. The illusion went so far that I felt human, but I had to keep calm if I wanted to stay that way. This wasn’t helping.
I adored this girl with every fiber of my being. In human form, I wanted to stay at her side forever.
In fox form, I would have wrapped myself around her like a stole if I didn’t have inconvenient bones. I felt like she was a part of me. That feeling, I realized now, had been creeping up on me all of my life. Could I ever have resisted it? I think we were always doomed, and I wondered how many familiars lived with a secret love for their witch.
“What…what would happen…I mean…if the curse is never broken?” She shifted her tea cup in her hands bit by bit so that the handle rotated 180 degrees. “If I could never touch you again, Firian, I—”
“We’re a long way from never,” I said.
“I don’t know how I could be with Montague and Alec but leave you out.”
“I would be more miserable if you weren’t happy.”
“Well, I’ll be miserable if you’re not happy.”
“That’s not how it works.”
She looked a little indignant. “Yes, it is! You’re my partner, Firian. That is how it works. I don’t want you to be more devoted to me than I am to you.”
She made me feel warmer, just by her presence. “You’re indignant that your familiar is doing his job.”
“I don’t like that—you’re—you have to be devoted to me.”
“I don’t know that I have to,” I said. “It doesn’t feel unwilling.”
“But familiars have to be devoted.”
“Familiars are just right for their witch,” I said. “That’s all. I don’t want you to feel guilty about it. I can’t stand not being able to touch you, but I will stand it, because I love you.”
She nibbled on the scone. “We’re still partners,” she said. “No matter how long this lasts. I don’t want a slave.”
“I know. I’ve seen the stuff you read.”
“Okay, I was reading ‘The Demon’s Slave’ for…”
“Research?”
“No.”
“You were going to say research.”
“Shut up.” She snickered. “I’m still waiting to get ravished by a fox-eared boy.”
“Never. I’m not fan art.”
She sighed. “That’s true. You’re not very cool.”
“Hey, I wouldn’t go that far. I’m plenty cool.”
She leaned over and pecked my nose before I realized what she was doing, which broke my illusion and turned me back into a fox.
“Sorry,” she said. “I just couldn’t resist.”
“I have more to show you,” I said, restoring the illusion with slightly more effort. “So behave yourself.”
I wanted to show her how beautiful Etherium could be, so when we walked outside, I tried to think about something romantic. The path opened up, and she stayed close to my side, but kept thrusting her hand in her pocket to keep herself from reaching for mine. My skin itched to touch her, to grab her and kiss her, taste her skin and mouth and the sweetness between her legs. When I felt human, it was almost unbearable, but I knew I was tricking myself as much as her.
The trees grew taller as the path went on, and more flowers grew in the forest, until we walked in a field of blue flowers under a canopy of pale green stirred by soft wind. The birds were just as colorful and one of them fluttered toward her. She held out her hand and the bird landed there and sang “wheet-wheet!”
“Whaaat! This just went full Disney movie,” she said. “It’s not leaving!”
“Nah, they won’t,” I said.
“Will it poop on me?”
“It’s possible, but unlikely.”
We stopped to let a family of ducks cross the path now, and a little farther along there was a tiny hedgehog passing us by.
“Oh, hello!” the tiny hedgehog said. “What brings you here?”
She stopped in her tracks and her mouth fell open.
“You met this hedgehog on wand-making day,” I said. “Remember? You’re Irving’s familiar, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” the hedgehog said.
“I didn’t really meet anyone else’s familiar. They were all so shy.”
“It’s not really appropriate to speak to other witches,” the hedgehog said. “But you’re here now, so it’s not that strange.”
“Riiight…”
“She’s never been here before,” I said.
“The high ethereals are dancing in the willows,” the hedgehog said. “So you should take her down to see it.” She tipped her head and waved a paw at us and ambled along.
“High ethereals?” You couldn’t seek out high ethereals. You had to just stumble on them.
“Sooo cuuute,” Charlotte whispered. “The high ethereals…are they like angels?”
“The closest thing you’ll ever see.”
“Are they scary?”
“Of course they’re not scary. They’re sort of…above our concerns. They’re beautiful, actually. It’s special to see them.”
She still looked slightly nervous.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “This is what Etherium will show you today. It’s better not to resist.”
The path came to an abrupt stop at a bluff overlooking a winding river. I could feel the high ethereals even before I saw them; they had that effect. My skin prickled with goosebumps as I caught their scent on the wind. Seeing high ethereals was like coming to a meadow of flowers you have never seen before, but also feeling that they must be natives, that you have come to some secret place where old things, and old magic, still exist.
Charlotte’s eyes widened, and she started creeping closer to them. She wasn’t scared anymore. Of course not. Ethereals were beautiful, and as expected, they didn’t even look up, even when Charlotte snapped a twig.
They were all tall and graceful, with skin and hair of every natural color, and a few that weren’t natural—lilac hair, faintly greenish skin. They all seemed to be women. Although humans sometimes mistook them for the fae, they weren’t icy like the faeries. They were playful and laughing, and just watching them made the world seem brighter. They were skipping barefoot in the grass. It sounds silly, but that was what made it so enjoyable to watch—the utter lack of self-consciousness, or any worry or anger, the complete opposite of a high demon.
“So these are…ethereals,” Charlotte whispered. “Why are the witches and warlocks so uptight, then?”
“High ethereals are the purest expression of Etherium,” I said. “But humans and other low spirits have free will and they tend to mess things up. On the other hand, that’s the same reason most sinistrals spirits aren’t completely evil. It’s just impossible for creatures like us to commit.”
“True. I feel like I have a reset button where if I get too happy, I’ll freak out about something stupid, but if I get too sad, I’ll laugh at something simple. But…they’re mesmerizing. Why don’t you like being here? It seems like a really gorgeous place. Not so different from your cabin in Georgia, but way better.”
“No,” I said. “Georgia was better.”
She snorted. “You’re nuts.”
“Etherium doesn’t have you.”
“That’s cheesy.” But she looked pleased.
“It’s so cheesy, but it’s also true. This doesn’t feel like my home.”
She bit her lip. “I want to kiss you so badly right now. I’ll lose my mind if—”
“No, you won’t,” I said. “You’ll find a way to hit that reset button.”
“No…no, I won’t.” The ethereals finally glanced up at us as she started crying.
“Time to go,” I said, pulling her back to her familiar living room.
“Oh—huh? We had to leave?” She unfurled her limbs with a wince, as her crouched position in Etherium had translated badly to the couch. I was back in my fox form again, the illusion of anything else too exhausting to create in the Fixed Plane.
“You can’t crash an angel dance and start crying. Really bad form. But I’d rather watch you cry over me than ethereals any day.”
Chapter Five
Charlotte
When it was time to return to Merlin College, Montague picked me up on his way, driving up from
Florida. I was overjoyed to see him. Montague and Alec were both cut off from me during the summer. Letters flew back and forth between us. Letters. On paper. Ohmigod. It sounded so romantic, to write letters, but it was actually just slow and tedious. I missed them so much but actually sitting down to write a letter was unsatisfying and weird, so I only wrote them two each.
“Let’s not do that again,” I said. “It was hell.”
“Summer with our family?”
“Yes. I missed you so much.”
“Fine by me,” he said. “It was hell. My friends won’t even talk to me since they heard that not only am I a vampire, but I made contact with my sire. They’ve already written me off as lost.”
“Yeah. That sounds awful. I mean, I just missed you, and other than that it was like, barbecue and movies. But still.”
“Oh, the inhumanity,” he said.
“Oh, the inhumanity, indeed,” Firian said from the back seat.
“I don’t see any rings on your fingers,” Montague said. “Didn’t Alec visit you in your dreams?”
“Heh,” Firian said.
“He tried,” I said. “It didn’t really work out. I’m not a quiet sleeper, I guess, at least not when an incubus is paying me a visit.”
“Ah…so our Charlotte is extremely frustrated.” Montague shot me an aggressive sideways expression. He reached for my hand and trailed his fingers from my wrist to my fingertips. “I’m looking forward to taking care of that for you.”
“Get a fucking room,” Firian said.
Montague grimaced. “This is no fun. Maybe Stuart will have some ideas to fix you.”
“Don’t drive off a mountain,” I said, brushing the steering wheel as we were driving on a twisty, one-and-a-half lane road with no guard rail.
We were taking a back way up the mountain range, arriving in North Carolina early to meet up with Stuart, aka, our former teacher and lord of the faeries. I had started calling him Sturond in my head, because when I last saw him in his true form he had flowing hair and robes and great eyebrows. It was very jarring after a year of thinking Stuart was just a dorky old warlock who grew up in the 50s in Kansas.
A Fine Necromance Page 3