‘The bloody bitch!’ There was the scraping of a chair and Luke left abruptly, furious, embarrassed, dangerously miserable. He could hardly go to Cordelia, so he lurched outside, where he was promptly sick over the top stone step.
Bartholomew said in the manner of his former days, as a rough, hard-working fisherman, ‘What gives she the bleddy right to speak to my sister like she’s gutter-shit? I’m not having this for Cordelia.’ He left the dining room in indignant anger and went to his sister, his face ugly and contorted.
Oliver, Kane and Jessica remained, all white-faced, speechless, bewildered.
Finally Oliver said, ‘What’s happened to this family? Was it my fault?’
‘It was none but Olivia’s, Father,’ Kane said. ‘She had no right to behave like that. Neither her disappointment over her painting nor her pregnancy is a justifiable excuse.’
Jessica could have said, ‘She doesn’t love Timothy, not in the way she should. Her marriage was a mistake.’ Wisdom kept her mute. She pressed an affectionate hand on Kane’s arm. ‘I’ll go up to Harry and leave you and your father in peace.’
‘There’s very little peace in this house,’ Oliver muttered after she had gone, staring numbly at his empty wine glass. ‘You and Jessica are so fortunate. You were deeply in love before the wedding ceremony and you’re totally in tune with one another. The rest of us,’ he waved a hopeless hand, ‘the rest of us just totter along.’
Kane took a while to speak. ‘You and Mama appear quite reconciled.’
Oliver stared straight ahead. ‘I don’t know if a full reconciliation is possible. You see, Kane, I’ve betrayed her with another woman.’
‘My God!’ Kane put his face in his hands. Not another disclosure of this kind! He couldn’t look his mother in the face without thinking of her lying in bed with Clem Trenchard.
‘Who with? Someone in particular or a harlot?’ Which would be worse? ‘No, don’t tell me. I’d rather not know.’
‘On no account would I mention her name. It was brief, a spur of the moment thing, all over before I returned home. I can’t believe I actually did it, Kane. Unfaithful to your mother. I love her more than my own breath, my own soul. I’d spend eternity in hell if I could only have her back. She’s warming towards me. It’s easier now your godforsaken father-in-law’s out of the way. But what do I do? Confess to her? Pray she’ll forgive me this sin, as well as for nearly killing you and Harry? Should I hope to win her back and say nothing? I’ve used another woman’s body, Kane. How can I go to your mother and… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking to you about such matters. I just wish I knew what to do.
‘I keep thinking if things were put right between us then the whole family would settle again, be like it was before. Everyone supporting everyone else. No spite, no malice, no lack of forgiveness. Oh, why did Livvy say all those things? It will be hard for Cordelia to forgive her.’
Kane couldn’t bring himself to condemn his father’s straying, not when he knew his mother had done likewise. If he told his father about his mother’s affair, his parents’ marriage might not survive the shame, the recriminations and the heartbreak, and within twenty hours Clem Trenchard would be sorely punished, at the least. It seemed cruel to let his father suffer his guilt while his mother clearly did not regret her illicit union. But it was the only course.
‘I don’t think Mama needs, indeed, I don’t think she’d want to know about your wandering. Is there any chance the lady in question would make it known?’
‘None at all, she’s as horrified as I am.’
‘Well then, why say anything to risk the chance that, judging by Mama’s manner towards you today, you clearly may have. You and Mama could have as many happy years together in the future as you have had in the past. Leave the past well alone, Father. That’s my advice, and you’d be a fool not to take it.’
‘I shall take it, son. Being a fool was what brought me down. I’ve never felt so lonely and bereft in all my life as I have since Harry’s baptism. I feel as if my soul has died, and it’s hard to put this into words without sending the chills riding up my back, but I’m scared. Scared to live without your mama, without her love and respect. I’d thank God a thousandfold if I could regain just a little of it back.’
‘But you have. I’ve already said that Mama has been more than friendly towards you today. She seemed happy when you danced together.’
‘That may only be because she was intent on making a happy day for Beatrice.’
Kane was perturbed at how much his father’s confidence had slipped. ‘It was more than that, believe me. Take heart, Mama still loves you. A little time and patience on your part and all will be well again.’
A dart of pain seared through Kane’s injured leg. He had been sitting too long and kneaded the stiffening of his flesh, flexing his foot to ease away the grumbling discomfort. Unable yet to sit astride his horse with ease on long journeys, he must, nevertheless, on some pretext ride to Greystone’s Farm and order Clem to never see his mother alone again, and tell him that he’d use any method necessary to prevent such a reoccurrence. And, somehow, he must face his mother with similar words.
Oliver looked down the length of the table, at the abandoned glasses of wine and uneaten food. Everyone had deserted him. If not for Kane and his beloved Shelley, he would find it hard to be strong.
Thirty-Four
Alicia fought off consciousness.
In her dream, she and Alex were safe in each other’s arms, high in spirits after moving into the house in St James’s Street. Alex, never thinking beyond the moment, frivolous, innocently trusting. Twenty-three years old, with animated eyes, a perfectly formed countenance and an effortless smile. To awaken now she would be thrust back into the reality of him being dead.
Wakefulness, however, would have her. She groaned in despair as her eyes, heavy and aching, opened against her will.
A hand holding hers pressed a little round her fingers. ‘Jack?’ She knew it would be him.
He leaned forward and his face appeared between the bed and the ornate ceiling. Candlelight offset the gloom. ‘You’ve been sleeping for hours. Can I get you something?’
Her mouth was dry and sore. ‘Yes, a drink please.’
He brought a glass of water to her lips and she took a few sips. ‘Is that monster still in the house?’
‘’Fraid so. There’s nothing me or Luke can do about that. Tomorrow we’ll return to Polgissey and we’ll never have to see him again.’
‘If I had the strength I’d kill him!’
‘I could kill him myself for what he did to Lord Alex and to you. It’s hard to believe what he’s become – tainted and evil. He may go on about being loyal to Sir Oliver, but his lordship didn’t give him a home and opportunities to see him turn into a treacherous murderer.’
‘Do you trust Bartholomew Drannock to keep his word and not tell Sir Decimus I’m alive?’
‘He’ll have to, or he’ll pay the Society’s price himself, for lying in his letter. We must forget him, Alicia. We must try, for the baby’s sake.’
‘You’re such a good man, Jack. Allowing me to turn to you after the way I’ve treated you. I can’t tell you how relieved I am to know you still want to be a father to the baby. I’ll never forget Alex, but I’ll try hard to make it work between us.’
Jack nodded. ‘We could have a good life together, Alicia, and I’m making a promise to you in return. I have a duty to Luke, but I’ll never let his demands override my cares for you. Me and you used to talk for hours up in London, but we’ve never talked frankly as husband and wife. I’m devoted to you, Alicia.’
‘There was too much in the way, of course, for me to marry Alex. My poor sweet love, he couldn’t see that we wouldn’t have been able to stay together forever, his family and the wife they had planned for him would have seen to that. But I want to tell you that I’ve been proud to be Mrs Jack.’
She reached for Jack and they exchanged an emotional embrace. Then Alicia
exclaimed, ‘Jack, there’s something I must do.’
‘Let it wait, my dear, you’ve had a terrible fright and need to rest.’
‘No, I won’t be able to rest until it’s done. If I don’t act now, happiness for someone here may be denied.’
Thirty-Five
Oliver was in the great hall, stripped now of all the trappings of Beatrice’s party. It seemed ages ago that the place had been packed with revellers and resonated with merriment. He looked up the stairs. Not long ago Olivia, persuaded to stay the night for her health’s sake and for the sincere apology she wanted to make first thing in the morning to Cordelia, had climbed them with Timothy two dejected steps behind her.
Then Kane and Jessica had gone up, arms round each other, all smiles, whispering intimately as Kane’s clumsiness brought him into even closer contact with her.
Oliver sighed dismally, it seemed a long time since he and Kerensa had gone up those ancient oak treads together, eager for bed.
Bartholomew had come downstairs soon after making haste to Cordelia’s room. He had gained no admittance. She had stubbornly maintained that she needed to be alone, and he had reluctantly left her to her tears. A second and third excursion had been equally unfruitful, and he had taken himself off to pass the night with a fretful Tamara.
There had been no success either on Kerensa’s part to speak to Cordelia, and she was now checking on Samuel. Shelley was safely abed. Where was Luke? He had no idea.
Oliver was all alone. Prolonged union with the brandy bottle was highly alluring but he had an example to set, a family to soothe, a wife to win back. On heavy legs, he made the ascent and went straight to his room.
It was the room he had used before his marriage, an autocratic rebel then, sure of his life, his right to his opinion, his right to dominate, to reproach all others and indulge himself. His peers, who had once scorned or tolerated his unconventional manner, now thought him gone soft. He had stayed at home for the longest period of his life, had cancelled his last two smuggling runs, runs in which he always participated. He had lost the respect of the Beswethericks, the allies of the Pengarrons from time immemorial. Respect had been all-important to him once.
He cared not what people said or thought about him, only what Kerensa did.
‘I’m sorry the end of the day didn’t go as you’d planned, Oliver.’
Kerensa’s voice made him whirl round.
She was framed in the doorway, a spectacle of heavenly beauty in the light of his single candle. ‘It’s good of you to be concerned about my feelings, Kerensa.’
‘I’ve looked in on Samuel, and Tamara is now settled. All’s quiet.’
‘Thank you for informing me.’
Kerensa tried to see his face. His outline was unclear where he was, in the darkest part of the room. He had not moved a fraction. Was this polite interchange about the family all he wanted to hear from her? He had not actually said it, but all his actions and attitudes implied he wanted her back. Had he grown cold waiting for her to come round to him?
Seconds passed.
She took a step backwards. ‘Goodnight, Oliver.’
‘Kerensa!’
‘Yes, Oliver?’
‘I should like to kiss you goodnight, if that’s all right.’
She came into the room, willingly.
He went to her, feeling a little shy as he placed his hands behind her head.
It was the softest kiss she had ever received. The purest and the warmest. So very, very tender, and it took her breath away. He was draining her, yet he was filling her entirely. He was giving her a once in a lifetime kiss, the salute of someone who loved unselfishly, absolutely, perfectly.
‘Goodnight, my dear love.’
After a last fleeting touch on her face, he left her and returned to the window.
Then he felt her arms about his waist and her face resting against his back. Relief leapt out of him in a rush of breath, a mighty gasp. The demon of despair was expelled. He turned and at the same time she moved round to face him.
Simultaneously they cried, ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Forgive me. Forgive me.’
‘I let my jealousy and pride come between us, but never, ever again,’ Oliver swore.
‘And I forgot how much I loved you, and what you meant to me.’ She mourned for the time they had lost.
‘I don’t just want to feel happiness from now on. I want to give happiness to you, my dear love. I only want to make you happy, Kerensa.’
‘And I will only ever want you, Oliver.’
They went to their bedroom, their bed, their bonding place and lay down together, face to face.
In a feather-light caress Oliver glided the backs of his fingers all over her. Kerensa touched the strong muscles of his shoulders, threaded her fingers through his black hair and over the fine silver traces at his temples.
She opened her lips for his next kiss, moving closer to him, placing the full length of her body against the full length of his. While he touched her with a velvet-smoothness, she ran delicate paths down his back with her fingertips, murmuring tender words in his ear.
His body shuddered with desire. She gave a deep, telling sigh. Putting her hand on his hip she angled herself into him and united their bodies.
They rocked gently, heightening the pleasure with loving hands, reacquainting themselves with all the burning and exquisite sensations that were theirs, and only ever could belong to them. They took their time, time was theirs to have. He nestled her face into his neck, whispering his love and dedication until the moment came for him to strive deeper and deeper into her to carry them to the point of utter, unforgettable culmination.
Thirty-Six
The hut that served as an animal hospital in the Pengarron grounds was overcrowded with anxious humans.
Luke was slumped on a sack of grain, not nursing an injured or ailing creature but a sore head. He groaned every time he shifted, having spent the night here intoxicated and brooding over Olivia’s cruel comments to Cordelia. His head ached, his throat and stomach felt on fire, his bad shoulder was particularly sore and stiff, but he had neither the will or energy to manipulate it into some sort of ease.
‘Everything’s a mess,’ he complained to his two sisters, glaring at Olivia, who kept dropping her face to the cage where she was giving fresh water to a watchful thrush with a splint on its wing.
‘What am I going to do about Cordelia? Should’ve realized how she felt about me. Even Father knew, said something to me a short time ago which I entirely missed the meaning of. Why didn’t you say something, for heaven’s sake, Livvy? Always had your say before. Too damned selfish!’
‘It’s you who’s selfish, brother,’ Kelynen returned, while stroking a muzzled, pale-brown fox on her lap. The fox, a vixen named Gilly, obviously the runt of a litter, would surely have died if not for Matthias Renfree’s soft heart in bringing it to the hut. It had suffered two deep gashes down one side from an unknown source. A certain victim for a stronger predator, Gilly could not be released into the wild and was making an anxious pet. Rex, feeling neglected outside, occasionally whined his displeasure. ‘And whenever has anyone been able to tell you something you didn’t want to hear? Poor Cordelia, to win you or to lose you, what a terrible choice.’
‘How do you see that?’ Luke regretted his forceful tone, which made his head pound all the fiercer.
The timbers of the hut creaked as the early morning sun warmed them through, the planked floor did the same as Olivia moved restlessly about, the dry air was filled with animal smells, all adding to his discomfort.
‘No, don’t tell me, I know what a selfish ignoramus I can be. I hope she didn’t spend too wretched a night. Open all the windows, Livvy, I can’t breathe in here.’
‘I could cut my tongue out for what I said to Cordelia. What exactly am I going to say to make it up to her? She’ll probably never forgive me and it’s no more than I deserve. I went to her room first thing. I thought she was still refusing to answ
er the door, then Polly told me she’d risen even earlier and had gone riding.’
‘Ask her to be godmother to your baby, she’ll be delighted with the idea. More importantly, what are we going to do about Mama and Father?’ Kelynen said.
‘What do mean?’ Luke asked irritably, wondering why he drank so unwisely. He must take care not to turn into a sluggard. ‘They seemed quite happy yesterday. I thought they were getting along very well. Didn’t you, Livvy?’
‘I didn’t notice at the time, but in retrospect they seemed almost affectionate.’
‘Perhaps, but how much of that was for our and Beatrice’s benefit?’ Kelynen persisted, grooming Gilly’s coat. The fox had settled, its tiny pointed face on her knees, looking down at the floor. ‘You haven’t been here, Luke, to witness their estrangement first-hand, to feel the tension. Mama has been every bit as stubborn as Father over this. The day Father came home and announced he was staying, obviously with the intention of making full amends, I could see this entirely didn’t suit Mama. I asked her directly if or when she was going to let bygones rest. Her words were, “All I can say is I hope to and very soon.”’
‘Well then,’ Olivia said with a sigh of relief. ‘I believe she’ll do as she says. Why do you doubt her, Kelynen?’
‘I don’t really, it’s just that I can’t bear seeing Father so unhappy.’
Luke smiled grimly. ‘Why am I not surprised that you should see things more from Father’s point of view? I can understand his feelings, although not his actions towards Clem Trenchard. He’s been a thorn in Father’s flesh for years, but Father should have simply ignored the ignorant fellow. Trenchard stayed under your roof, Livvy. Could you not see that he might have been a threat, that he was planning something in the way Father must have had in mind?’
Olivia felt her face flood with colour. She waved a hand about and blamed her discomfort on morning sickness. She knew better than most women the potent attraction Clem possessed, and there was so much more to him than the usual masculine appeals. If only she could paint his likeness, capture the soulful essence of him, she was sure her talent would be fully restored, but even if she did it from memory, as a gift for Catherine, she was afraid it might somehow reveal something of the secret closeness she had shared with Clem. Could Clem come between her parents? For her father’s peace of mind, and her mother’s comfort, she had no choice but to evade the issue.
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