by Bella Andre
Pleasure whiplashed her at the feel of his hands on her hips dragging her against him, and his mouth on her bare skin--and destroyed any rational thoughts that might have tried to invade. All she knew was that she wanted more. More of his mouth and hands on her. And her own on him, too.
She didn't think, couldn't process anything apart from how much she wanted him as she pulled at his shirt. But when her hands found his bare stomach, muscles rippling beneath her fingertips, the shock of just how hot, just how hard he was--everywhere--momentarily broke the spell. Just long enough for her to realize she was beyond overwhelmed by one kiss that had so quickly spiraled off into more.
All her life she'd worked to be rational and analytical. She'd always believed that thinking things through would keep her safe. But right now, with Drew lying over her on the sand, with his hands on her curves and his mouth on her skin--and with arousal swamping her system--she couldn't figure out how to go back to that analytical, rational place.
And, in that moment at least, it scared her. Scared her enough that she began to pull away.
Drew lifted his head to look down at her. "Ash?"
"I thought it would just be one kiss," she blurted. "Just one quick kiss so that we would stop building the idea of it into this big thing. Just one kiss because we're here at the ocean, beneath the moon, and you understand even more than I already thought you did just from listening to your songs." She shook her head, her lips, her skin, still tingling from his kisses. "But I was wrong. It's so much more than that. And I didn't know."
"I did. I knew better." He looked as though he was warring with himself for a moment before he finally went up on his knees and brought her up, as well, so that they were facing each other on the sand. "I knew I would never be able to stop at one kiss. Even kissing every perfect inch of your body won't be enough. I'll only keep needing more, Ash. So much more."
Her whole life, she'd been sensible. Careful. And her life had been fine. Good, even. There had been laughter. And happiness. But nothing she'd ever felt had been like this. Nothing had come anywhere close to the way she felt when Drew was kissing her. Not even listening to his music had taken her this high.
Coming on this tour with him was already a break from her normal life. What if she took the next step? One that suddenly seemed inevitable. Ashley's choices had always been clear to her before: Get good grades. Be a good daughter. Carve out a place in the corporate world via Stanford Business School. And one day, she'd always assumed, she'd find someone just like herself to date and eventually marry.
But for the first time ever, she found herself wanting to make a different choice. A choice so wild, so crazy, that a truly rational person would have stepped back from it immediately. Only, maybe Drew was right and she was made up of more shades, more contours, more colors than just the "rational" ones.
"Maybe," she said slowly, "maybe we shouldn't stop." It was so hard to get the words out that she couldn't quite bring herself to look at his face. "When you were kissing me, I finally felt beautiful. And passionate." Really passionate, as though she'd never be able to get enough of him.
"If I kiss you again," he said in a low voice that caressed her skin just as wonderfully as his mouth had, "I won't be able to stop."
She'd never been so scared--or had such clarity--as when she finally looked him in the eye and said, "Don't stop, Drew. I want this. I want you." She put her hands flat on his broad chest, where his heart was beating hard and fast. As hard and fast as hers. "What if you and I did get together while I'm here on tour with you? I mean, we're clearly doing a terrible job of pushing away our attraction to each other. No one needs to know. Just you and me there on the tour bus, having a good time for as long as we're both enjoying ourselves."
He was so close that she could feel the warmth of his breath on her lips, and she was trembling from wanting him so badly. This was it. She and Drew weren't just going to kiss tonight. They were going to make love. It wouldn't matter that it was her first time. She knew he would make it perfect. Because he thought she was beautiful and brainy. Passionate and exciting.
"Ashley--" His breath was coming fast, his chest rising and falling beneath her palms. "I can't."
Wait...
What had he just said?
And what was he doing, moving away from her instead of closer? Why was he pacing on the sand and cursing instead of taking off her clothes and kissing every inch of her skin the way he'd just said he wanted to?
She got to her feet, too, her face so hot and tightly drawn that it was as though she'd been slapped instead of told, I can't. She'd never been so embarrassed. And had never felt so rejected.
She could feel tears start to come, knew they'd be falling soon, and she didn't want him to see that. Couldn't let him see that. But even though she all but ran down the beach, Drew was fast. Faster than she was. And when she didn't stop after he called her name, he passed her and made her stop with his own body.
"Ash, don't run. Please don't run from me."
She kept her head down, but she knew what was coming. That he'd put his hand beneath her chin and make her look into his eyes. And when he did, the raw desire she still saw on his face shook her. And confused her like nothing else ever had.
"Do you actually think I don't want you? Can't you see that I haven't been able to think about anything but you since you came into my life?" His words stunned her just as much as the look in his eyes did. "Damn it, I want you so badly I can't see straight. Hell, I can barely remember the words to my songs when I'm on stage and I see you dancing, because just watching you move to the music gets me so turned on."
"Then why?" The pain of his rejection made her question fierce. "Is it because I'm not like the other girls? The ones who whip off their shirts so that you can sign their big breasts?"
"I would never want you to be like them. Never." He was just as fierce as she. "It's your father. You know that I promised him I wouldn't touch you."
She felt her eyes go big. "I know you said you would make sure nothing bad happened to me. But you actually promised him that you wouldn't touch me?"
"He said he trusted me. He said that's why I'm the only musician he would have let you tour with."
Drew had already made it clear that her safety on his tour was his top priority and that he'd promised her father he'd take care of her. But she hadn't known that taking care of her extended to who she kissed. Her body was her own, damn it. And just because she hadn't yet exercised much of her sensuality didn't mean anyone else got a say as to when she finally did.
Her body. Her decision. Funny, it had never seemed so clear before. Then again, she'd never wanted anyone the way she wanted Drew. Had never even come close to making love with anyone else.
"He's not my keeper. He's my father, and I love him, but I'm not a little girl."
"I know you're not, Ash." Drew's eyes were hot, so hot she could feel the heat all along her skin. "Trust me...I know." He closed his eyes as if to try to get a grip. "But that doesn't mean he wants you to be hurt. Or taken advantage of."
"Here. Tonight. What we were doing before you said you couldn't--were you taking advantage of me?"
"No." He almost looked offended that she would even ask. "Of course not."
"Then I don't understand why you feel we have to stop."
He ran a hand over his hair, which only made him look sexier. "I'm trying to respect your father's wishes."
"What about my wishes?" Her words were loud over the sound of the surf. "What about what I want?"
But she already knew the answer. Drew had made a promise to her father, and he was the kind of person who stood by his promises. She didn't want to hurt her father either, but she'd already chosen him over her mother, had already chosen a steady, measured life over the much more exciting one her mother wanted to give her. And she'd never been tempted by anyone to step outside that comfort zone before.
Only, now that she'd finally met a gorgeous guy who tempted her like crazy--and who, m
iraculously, was just as tempted--nothing could come of it.
Because her father had made Drew promise to never, ever touch her.
"Ash--"
She put her hand up before he could say anything else. She was too upset now to listen anyway, miles away from the rational person she'd always been before. "I know you're in a bad position. Let's just forget it."
He looked as frustrated as she felt. "I don't know if I can."
She knew she wouldn't. But unless she wanted her heart to be even more flattened than it already was tonight, she'd have to take her best shot at forgetting her feelings for Drew. Starting right this second.
She pulled out her cell phone to text Max to ask him to come pick them up.
Chapter Twelve
Phoenix, Arizona
The moment Ashley's lips met Drew's had been the best of his life. There wasn't anything else that had ever come close.
Her mouth had been so soft. So sweet.
Perfect.
By last night, his need for her had already grown to such a fever pitch that before he could stop it from happening, their kiss had gone from gentle to desperate. He couldn't stop tasting, couldn't stop touching, couldn't stop taking.
He'd known kissing her, touching her, would be good--but he'd never known hunger like this before. Never known pleasure so raw. So all-encompassing.
And while they'd been kissing, he'd forgotten everything but how good she felt, smelled, tasted. Right and wrong had been lost to him as he'd completely lost sight of his promise to her father to keep her safe. But then, when something had startled her and she'd pulled back to tell him how shocked she was at how deep their attraction really went, Drew's promise to her father had slammed back down on him like a two-by-four crashing into his chest.
Of all the women in the world, she was the one he couldn't have. So he'd forced himself to stop them from taking the next step. From stripping each other's clothes off and making love on the deserted beach. Even though there was nothing--not one single thing--he'd wanted more than that.
God, he'd hated seeing the hurt in her eyes, and hadn't wanted to let her think for one second that he was keeping his distance because she wasn't beautiful or desirable. She was. So beautiful, so desirable that being close to her in his bus all night as they'd driven to Phoenix, and then all day as she shadowed his interviews, had been hell. Pure, unadulterated hell.
But even worse than knowing he could never kiss Ashley again or hear her incredibly seductive sighs of pleasure as his mouth roamed down over her skin, was the fact that since that moment when she'd told him just to forget it, she'd shut down on him. She was still friendly. And he could see that she still loved his music. But the closeness that they'd been building--the friendship he'd quickly come to count on--had come to a stop.
While they'd waited for Max in the parking lot, her body language had spoken volumes about how she felt--with her shoulders and face turned as far away from him. And when Max had come to pick them up from the beach in the bus, she'd immediately gone into her bunk and closed the curtain to block him out. Drew had wanted to say something, anything, to make things better. To go back to the way they'd been before he completely screwed things up by trying to do the right thing. But he'd been afraid of making things worse, and had told himself that, hopefully, by the following morning things would be better and they could at least go back to being friends again.
But when morning came in Phoenix, though Ashley had still made breakfast for both of them, by the time he'd thrown on clothes to come out and eat with her, the curtain on her bunk was drawn and he'd heard the clicking of her fingertips on her computer keyboard. She hadn't come out until James boarded to grab them for interviews.
James obviously immediately noticed something was off between the two of them, but Drew wasn't going to kiss and tell, and he definitely didn't want James to say anything to Ashley that would make her any more uncomfortable than she already was.
Now he was finally with her again at a TV station in Phoenix. She looked beautiful, but pale, as if she hadn't slept much better than he had. Which was to say, barely at all.
All day long he'd been trying to figure out what to say to her when they were finally together again. I'm sorry wasn't right. I wish I'd never made your father that promise wouldn't work either.
Drew had never second-guessed himself like this before. On the contrary, his decisions, his path forward, had always been obvious to him. But now, not only was his music tying him up in knots, but so were his feelings for Ashley.
The station was in a historic four-story building downtown. He'd toured through here before and when he saw the interest in Ashley's eyes as they got out of the town car, Drew said, "I heard that the building was built as a love letter from a poor man who had nothing more to his name than his hammer to the wealthy magnate's daughter who was off-limits to him." At this point, he would take any excuse to get Ashley to talk to him again, even if it was just about some building in Phoenix.
For a moment she seemed to forget to keep her distance. "What happened to them? Did they fall in love?" In the moment their eyes met, heat sizzled between them just as much as it had on the beach.
"The night before she was to marry the wealthy fiance that her father had chosen for her, but that she didn't love, she went to tell the builder she would run away with him. But when she got there, she found him lying on the floor, unconscious from a piece of cement that had hit him on the head."
Too late, Drew realized that he should have kept the sad story of star-crossed lovers to himself, because instead of opening up more, she said, "That's really sad. Sometimes I guess people really aren't meant to be together."
The next time he looked into her eyes, it was as if she'd pulled shutters down over her emotions.
Damn it, for a moment there he'd thought that she might be about to open up to him again. And even though he understood why she was wary--there was no way to sugar-coat the way he'd flat-out rejected the offer she'd made last night--frustration was still eating him up from the inside by the time they stepped into the lobby and the elevator came to take them up to the fourth floor.
James waited for Ashley and Drew to get in before saying, "Looks like a pretty tight fit in there. I'll take the stairs."
Ashley quickly said, "There's plenty of room," but by then the doors had closed, leaving the two of them alone in the small space.
Drew didn't want to make things even worse, but he couldn't stop himself from asking, "Did you sleep okay?"
She didn't quite look at him as she paused for a long moment. "I--"
Before she could say anything more, the elevator suddenly jolted to a stop...and then the lights went out.
"Ash?" He instinctively reached for her hand. Damn, it was dark in here. "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay," she replied, but her voice sounded a little shaky, and she was holding pretty tightly to his hand.
"I'm sure they'll have the elevator up and running again in just a second. I'll text James to let him know we're stuck, just in case they haven't figured it out yet."
"Great." But, again, she didn't sound particularly great.
As he pulled out his phone and sent the text without letting go of her hand, she took out her own and turned on the onboard flashlight. But even with the light on, her breath seemed to be coming a little faster. "I'm not always great in small, enclosed spaces."
"I've got you, Ash," he said in a gentle voice as he drew her closer. "Just close your eyes and we can pretend we're somewhere else." He was glad when she wrapped her arms around him. Nothing had ever felt as good, or as right, as having Ashley in his arms.
"Where?"
"Back in the Valley of Fire."
He stroked her hair, then her back. She smelled amazing, like the lavender and roses in his parents' backyard. And she was his perfect fit absolutely everywhere.
Don't stop, Drew. I want this. I want you.
Oh hell, he needed to stop thinking about what could have happ
ened if his goddamned honor hadn't stopped him from tearing off her clothes last night. But focusing on how much he wanted Ashley wouldn't help her right now, so he tried to take her back to the Valley of Fire in her mind.
"The sun is bright yellow. The sky is blue. And the sand is that incredible red."
She moved closer, her breath warm against his neck. "Ever since that day you showed it to me, I dream of it."
"I dream of you." In the small, dark space, the words came before he could yank them back, and he couldn't stop himself from brushing his lips over the top of her head. "Every night."
He was holding her closely enough that he could feel the rise and fall of her chest and hear her soft gasp of awareness at his words. If she had any idea just how sexy his dreams were...
"You can't."
She whispered the words, but every part of him was attuned to every part of her. To her heart beating fast against his, to the heat of her body everywhere she was touching him, to every sound and breath she made.
"Do you, Ash?" He brushed his fingertips across her cheek in the dark, and she turned it into his palm with a soft moan. "Do you dream about me the way I can't stop dreaming about you?"
"Drew, please."
He didn't know if she was whispering his name to ask him to stop...or to beg him to give her another forbidden kiss. Praying she was dying for his mouth on hers as badly as he needed to feel hers beneath his, he cradled her jaw in his hand and began to lower his mouth to hers, beyond desperate for another taste of her.
Sweet Lord, he'd never been looking forward to a kiss so much in all his li--
Ashley was jolted nearly out of his arms as the elevator came back to life and the overhead lights turned on.
Her eyes were huge as she took a step back and pressed herself against the elevator wall in an effort to get as far away from him as she could. And yet again, before he could find any of the right words to say--whatever the hell those could possibly be at this point--they reached the fourth floor and the doors opened.