‘Don’t you keep your set beneath your bed anymore?’
So, she did remember that. Back then, they’d both avidly collected any titbit that had been written about them. For Ana, it had been a therapeutic way of dealing with her mother’s death. Of knowing her killer hadn’t gotten away with it. Brad had an entirely different set of reasons for keeping the clippings. Reasons that had him shuddering with shame now.
‘No. I burnt mine a long time ago.’
‘Why on earth would you do that?’
‘Those articles—they glorify what I did. And they shouldn’t.’
‘But you’re a hero, Brad. You saved my life. What’s not to glorify?’
He stared into her eyes, wide and still so innocent, and he couldn’t tell her. He wanted to. A part of him desperately needed to share his shame. But he couldn’t. She would never understand, and it would only hurt her to hear him talk like that.
‘Look, it’s just not a part of my life I want to remember anymore.’
Pain flared in her eyes at his comment, her jaw dropping open in surprise before she gathered her wits again. ‘How can you say that?’ she demanded.
‘Because it’s the truth,’ he said softly. Without waiting for a response, Brad tilted the dolly back on its wheels and rolled it out, through the garage and up the ramp into the back of the truck. By the time he’d unloaded, stacked the boxes and returned to the underground storage Ana had the next load of boxes by the door.
‘Are you going to explain yourself?’ she pounced as he loaded the waiting boxes onto the dolly.
‘It’s just not something I like to think about. Surely you’d worked that out already?’
She stared at him, clearly ready to deny the claim. But before his eyes, the cogs clicked into place in her mind.
‘That’s why you always leave?’ the words were whispered, but they thundered across him, stamping their way into his heart.
‘Something like that,’ he croaked out. Unable to hold her gaze any longer, to see the questions demanding his answers, he tilted the dolly and walked back to the truck. His load was only half full, but he needed to get away.
She was going to ask him why. She was going to want him to talk about it. But he couldn’t. He just…he couldn’t.
So he dawdled. He took as long as he could to unpack the dolly, to stack and restack the boxes already in the truck. When he returned, Ana was in the corner struggling to drag the dining table across the dirt floor. He raced over to grab the opposite end.
‘Thanks,’ she flashed him a relieved smile, and he wasn’t sure if she was talking about the table or his previous admission.
‘No worries,’ he shrugged, and together they carried the table out to the truck and loaded it in. They worked in unison after that, making short work of the remaining furniture and, thankfully, she didn’t broach the painful subject again.
That’s not to say they didn’t talk; quite the opposite, in fact. Ana kept up a running commentary, regaling him with anecdotes about her friends, about her night shifts and her sometimes kooky patients, and the woes of being a third wheel during the honeymoon phase of her brother’s new romance.
Slowly the tension eased out of him, and he realised he’d been wound up tight for days. It was fun to finally relax with Ana. He’d almost forgotten how much fun it was to just hang out with her—outside of the bedroom. It had been years since they’d chilled out as friends.
Within another half hour, they’d emptied the underground storage area. In less than that time they’d emptied her bedroom and were up to the last item—her large, flat screen television. Not confident about moving it with everything else in the truck, they strapped it into the back of her VW Beetle.
‘That’s everything. We’re good to go,’ Brad called out as he slammed the back door shut on her car. When she didn’t answer, Brad threw a casual glance over his shoulder to see Ana staring at the car, biting her fingernails.
Uh-oh.
There were only two times he’d ever seen Ana bite her fingernails: at her mother’s funeral; and when he’d introduced her to his fiancée.
This was not a good sign.
Living alone was her greatest fear. She’d told him about it one night, years ago, back when they’d still been friends. She’d had the fear since the night her mother died. It wasn’t a rational fear. But hell, he of all people knew the grip irrational fears could hold on your life.
‘Hey, honey,’ he reached out to tug at her arm, pulling her hand from her mouth and into his palm. ‘You don’t have to do this.’
‘I do. We’ve just spent hours packing all my stuff into the truck so I can move out. I have to go,’ she told him, her eyes fixed, almost glazed on the car beside them.
‘Either way it’s going to get unpacked. If you don’t want to leave, don’t. I’m happy to unpack it all right now,’ he assured her, squeezing her fingers in his.
‘No. I have to go. I have to give Travis his privacy.’ The words were firm, but he could still see the hesitancy in her eyes, hear it in her voice.
‘I’m sure Travis hasn’t asked you to leave.’
‘No. But I know they want their privacy. I can tell.’ She dragged her eyes away from the truck to stare into his. The normal sparkling brown had dulled to a dark, wooded forest as the fear took hold of her.
‘You could move back home, couldn’t you? Don’t your dad and Vivian spend half the year travelling? You’d have independence without technically living alone. And my parents would be right next door if you had any problems when yours were away.’
‘No. I can’t move back home,’ she shook her head vehemently. ‘It took me long enough to leave that place; to let go of what happened. I can’t go backwards. Not now.’
‘But are you ready to be on your own?’
Hearing the words aloud seemed to trigger something in her. She stared at him for what felt like an eternity, the dark fear slowly receding. She pulled her hand from his, and turned to stare—first at the truck, and then her bright yellow VW. When she turned back to him, her face was calm, her eyes firm with her resolve.
‘I’m ready.
Brad felt his chest swell; unbelievably proud of the strength she was showing. He wanted to reach out, grab her hand and walk with her on this new path. But he knew she needed to take these steps alone, so he settled for a long look, a slight nod, and an encouraging smile.
‘Then let’s get you moved.’
Up high in the cab of the truck, Brad followed Ana’s bright yellow car through the light Saturday morning traffic as she crossed through the inner-city suburbs into Fortitude Valley. Moving past the swanky new upmarket restaurants and boutique fashion stores, Ana turned down an almost-quiet side street and into the undercover driveway of a new apartment block. The secure garage door opened under her command and he followed her in.
Parking near the lift, Brad alighted from the cab and met Ana at the back of the truck.
‘Place seems fairly secure.’
‘That may have been one of the selling points of this apartment,’ she told him sheepishly. ‘The security call button includes video and the lift requires swipe card access to each floor.’
‘So you should be safe here, then,’ he said with a wink.
‘In theory,’ Ana answered, a hint of a smile starting to lighten her face again.
Brad unbolted the doors of the truck whilst Ana called the lift, then they started loading in as much of the furniture as they could. Once they had the lift full, Brad locked up the van and they rode it to the third floor. Shuffling boxes and bits of furniture into the hallway, Brad looked up and down the grey-toned walls and dark blue carpeting.
‘This place looks…kind of familiar, for some reason.’
‘Ah, well…’ Ana dropped her gaze to the boxes, a faint blush rising up her cheeks. ‘That would be the other selling point. It’s the same building Gabby and I used to flat in.’
‘So I’ve been here before, then?’ he threw in cheekily, waggl
ing his eyebrows.
‘Once or twice,’ Ana conceded, her blush intensifying.
‘Oh-kay. Well, that’s good. At least you know it’s safe.’
‘Exactly,’ Ana agreed, finally meeting his gaze, a relieved smile stretched across her face.
‘And you’ve got at least two good memories here,’ he added with a wink.
‘There is that,’ she conceded, letting loose with a laugh.
The light, tinkering sound filled the hallway and his heart. This was his Ana. The bright, fun-filled girl with the best laugh he’d ever heard. Now he just had to find a way to keep her here.
‘Come on,’ she said once her giggles had settled. ‘Can’t let you get too cocky,’ and she led the way to an apartment half-way down the corridor. She opened the door on a large open-planned apartment. The kitchenette was to the left as he walked in, leading into the over-sized living area. At the far end of this space were two large glass sliding doors that opened onto a veranda over-looking the street. Not the most charming of views, but it certainly increased the space in the apartment. Off to the right was a narrowed hallway with a bathroom and bedroom off shoots. The grey-tinged walls and navy carpet theme of the corridor was continued within the apartment, giving a spacey feel to the place.
At least it felt spacey until they started moving all of Ana’s gear in; by the time they’d brought the last load up, the apartment looked a lot smaller.
‘I think you might have to start culling,’ Brad informed her as he stacked boxes into her wardrobe to give them room to move.
‘Noooo! Never!’ Ana laughed, kneeling down to bolt her bed back together.
‘If you don’t do it, I will,’ he threatened cheerfully, heading back into the living room.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ she called out down the hallway.
‘I think maybe you need an independent assessor to sort through what you actually need. I’d be happy to oblige,’ he offered, lifting a lid off one of the storage boxes and rifling through the contents. ‘Like this thing,’ he pulled a large, hand held device from the box. The label on the side said it was a neck massager, but it didn’t look all that relaxing. He held it up behind his head, ensuring the flat round circles were pressed against his skin. He flicked the on switch and held in against his neck as it started to vibrate.
‘What’s that sound?’
‘Just trying to help you cull,’ Brad answered as he switched the device off. ‘This neck massager is pretty useless. I think you should chuck it. There’s probably a whole stack of stuff-’
‘Don’t touch anything,’ Ana screeched, racing down the hallway and yanking the massager out of his hands.
‘But…it’s useless. Holding it above your shoulders pretty much defeats the purpose of trying to relax the neck.’
‘Well, that’s fine. I don’t use it to relax my neck,’ and she tucked the device back into the box he’d pulled it from.
‘Then what do you use…’ but his words petered out, her arched eyebrows telling him everything he needed to know. ‘Oh…’ he stared from her to the “massager” and back again.
‘Don’t touch anything in this box,’ she warned him, securing the lid back in place, but seemed to change her mind about trusting him and carried the box into her bedroom.
‘Seriously? That’s what you use it for?’ he followed her into the bedroom.
‘Yes,’ she admitted, a slight blush tinging her cheeks.
‘But…why?’
‘Do I really need to explain the birds and the bees to you?’ she asked, as she bent down to continue assembling her bed. Brad’s eyes followed the curve of her ass as it peeked out from beneath those damned short shorts.
‘Nope. Definitely not,’ he shifted slightly to relieve the sudden constriction in his pants. ‘But you don’t have to use a machine. You can always call me if you need that kind of relief,’ he offered, grinning to himself at his own cleverness.
Ana threw him a dry, amused look over her shoulder. ‘Thanks, but I think I’ll stick to the massager.’
‘Ooh, how you wound me,’ he laughed, holding a hand over his heart, masking the fact he was seriously turned on by this conversation. Maybe they could even give it a try one night. She could show him just how much she enjoyed it...
‘Not a chance,’ Ana told him, shattering the very delicious images forming in his mind. That was almost fine, considering the very real view of her breasts spilling out of her camisole as she twisted to talk to him was even better than his imagination.
‘You don’t even know what I’m thinking,’ he insisted, though he was struggling to lift his eyes from those breasts. Blood was pounding through his body, and holding coherent thoughts inside his brain for longer than a second was getting difficult.
‘I’ve got a fair idea,’ lips pursed to stop her laughter, she dropped her eyes to his crotch. He followed her line of sight and saw the rather large lump of his erection pushing against the fabric of his pants.
Well, that wasn’t surprising, given the direction all his blood had been heading in. He flicked his gaze back to her, and caught her staring hungrily at his pants. His hand slid down and he rubbed a finger across the lump, ‘that’s just what you do to me, honey.’
She groaned, but it wasn’t a good sound and it drew her eyes back up to his. ‘That’s a terrible line, Brad. You can do so much better.’
‘Sorry, just struggling to think at the moment, gorgeous,’ he said, his own gaze pointedly dropping from her eyes to her chest. Her gaze followed his, landing smack bang on the luscious breasts visibly swelling and hardening beneath his inspection.
‘Whoops,’ she started tugging at her top, trying desperately to cover the creamy mounds. It didn’t work. In fact, all it did was move them around, her pale fingers brushing across them, caressing them, driving him wild.
‘Mmm, are you sure you’re not tempted?’ he groaned, almost desperate in his need to touch her. ‘You know how good we are together.’
‘I know,’ she admitted huskily and when her eyes flew back to his he could see just how hard she was fighting this. ‘But it’s not…it’s not enough. I need-’
The buzzer rang, interrupting whatever she was going to say.
He closed his eyes, dropping his head against the wall in frustration. When he opened them again it was clear that the window to find out just what Ana wanted was gone.
‘Are you expecting someone?’
‘No,’ she said, standing and attempting to pull her top back into place.
He closed his eyes again, this time to block the temptation and headed down the hall. ‘I’ll check,’ he offered, giving her time to dress herself and him something other than her body to focus on.
When he got to the kitchenette he saw Cara and Gabby through the security cam.
‘You’re friends are here,’ he called down the hallway. There was no way he was answering that call. Not after the last time he’d spoken to Cara.
In fact, it might just be time for him to get out of here.
Trying not to watch Ana race into the room, breasts bouncing with each step, Brad gathered his belongings.
‘Hey, I wasn’t expecting you guys!’ she spoke into the receiver. They said something back to her, he couldn’t make it out, but the next moment Ana was depressing the button to let her friends in.
‘It looks like the girls have brought lunch. Are you ready for a well-deserved break? Then we can get in and finish the unpacking afterwards,’ she told him, bubbling with excitement. Could she really cool down that quickly?
He knew he couldn’t. And he really wasn’t in the mood to deal with Cara’s crap. ‘Actually, I was thinking of heading off,’ Brad shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at the ground.
‘Oh,’ was all she said in response. He lifted his eyes from the ground to see disappointment written across her face and felt like a heel. That was nothing new.
‘I just…I figure the girls can probably help you with the rest, and I’ve go
t to get this truck back, and then I told Cam I’d stop by his place, see how they’re all going.’ It was all true, but at the same time it felt like the cop out it was.
‘Of course,’ Ana said, smile back in place. A fake smile—but still a smile, nonetheless. ‘I didn’t mean…I didn’t think I’d get you for the whole day.’
And there was that knife of guilt, twisting a little deeper in his gut.
‘If you need me to stay, I will.’
‘No. No. You go. As you said, I’ve got the girls now, so it should be a breeze.’
‘Cool, I’ll see you later, then.’
‘Well, ah, thanks…for everything,’ Ana said as she held the door open for him.
‘No worries. I had fun.’
‘Really, hours of manual labour was fun?’
‘Hanging with you was fun,’ he clarified, staring into her eyes, not wanting to go. He reached out a hand, almost brushed his fingers against her cheeks. But then he heard Gabby’s distinctive laugh as the elevator doors opened and knew it was time to leave.
Chapter Seven
‘That looks like everything.’
Ana placed the last, freshly wiped dinner plate into the kitchenette cupboard and looked up at Gabby. Her friend was dismantling the cardboard box she’d just emptied, placing it with the rest against the fridge.
‘Are you sure?’ Ana pushed herself off her backside to look around the room. Sure enough, every last box had been emptied. Every random item put away. All the furniture was neatly in place, artworks hung. It was hard to believe that only a few hours ago this apartment had been nothing more than an empty shell.
Now…it actually felt like home.
‘Wow, guys, that’s awesome. I don’t know how I could have done it without you.’ Slamming the last cupboard door shut, Ana let out an exhausted sigh.
‘No worries, gorgeous,’ Cara slung an arm around her shoulder, squeezing her tight.
‘Well, it wasn’t just us,’ Gabby added with a pointed look.
A Love Worth Saving Page 9