So did her scream. "God damn you, Sax!"
She stiffened. I brought my palm down again, this time on the opposite cheek.
"Ouch! This is childish." She tensed again. "And it fucking hurts!"
"Obviously not enough if you can still talk."
I slapped her again, and this time she remained silent except for a hiss. I grinned at the evil pleasure surging through me, and spanked her earnestly, mesmerized by the beautiful flesh turning red with my hand prints. Her gasps turned into sobs as she tried to wiggle off my lap, but an arm across her waist held her where I wanted her. Unfortunately, she was right over my straining dick, and every move she made dragged a groan from me. By the time I counted to fifteen she was sobbing uncontrollably and her bottom looked like a bright red apple.
An apple I wanted to bite in to.
I stopped and took a minute to pull myself together. I was breathing hard with unexpected arousal, my dick hard as stone as I stared down at a beautiful sight. Holly's bright ass was hot as fuck, and I had to fight the urge to run my hand over it to sooth the sting. This was about punishment, and showing her mercy now would defeat the purpose.
I grabbed her by the hair and pulled her head back enough so our eyes could meet. "You know better than to cause a scene like that in front of my brothers, Holly. Exceptions may be made for old ladies, but you gave up that privilege." I had to steel myself from the anguish on her face and the tears that I'd caused. It tore me up inside that I'd been the one to put them there. She remained stubbornly silent. Sighing, I released her hair and she faced the floor again.
"You want to tell me again what the fuck happened?" My eyes kept returning to her delectable ass. The sight was keeping my dick hard. Hell, who was I kidding? I've been hard since I’d returned home and found that she'd come back. A year without her had only revealed how fucking much I wanted this woman in my life.
But after what she'd done...
She sniffled. "I told you, someone called Crickets and told them that I'd changed my mind about the job that I was supposed to start on Saturday night. The manager said they used your name. Now I have no job."
I didn't believe in coincidences, and two men going by the name of “Sax” and living in the same area was suspicious. Clearly someone had impersonated me. "You know that you can still work at Grinders."
"That's not the point, Sax. And besides, you don't want me there."
Yeah, but not for the reasons she thought. I ground my back teeth in frustration and started to pull her panties and shorts back up, but her hiss caused me to hesitate. Regret filled me as I realized that I might have overdone it. I gave in and smoothed my palm over her hot, swollen flesh. At first Holly twitched away from my hand, but then she relaxed with a sigh.
"You need the job, Holly." My tone booked no argument. What I wanted didn't matter. She had Ava to think about.
I could feel her bottom cooling down, watched as the red faded slightly. I could have rubbed her satiny flesh all fucking day. Her soft mewls kept my heart racing and my dick throbbing. As I stared down at my hand rubbing her skin, it struck me that Holly didn't seem to mind that I was touching her so intimately. If anything, her deep breathing indicated that she liked it.
I wasn't doing myself any favors by giving in to the temptation to touch Holly, but I couldn't seem to find the strength to ignore her. She'd been my drug of choice for so long, and the fucking truth was I craved her as much today as I had in the beginning. I felt her shiver, and I knew that what I was doing was turning her on.
"I'll see if I can find out who this other Sax is, but I promise you it wasn't me."
"Thank you," she responded in a whispery, slightly lazy tone.
I couldn't ignore the enticing crack separating her luscious cheeks anymore, and let my finger dip and explore. I started at the top and ran my finger down to the tiny star that marked her backdoor entrance and played with it a little. She caught her breath and tensed slightly, but we both knew that she liked anal play. I half-expected her to protest, and when she didn't, my finger continued to travel through her wet slit all the way up to her clit. Even though I couldn't see it, I could tell the little jewel was engorged and surrounded by slickness. Holly whimpered as I flicked over it.
"Jesus, you're soaked." I flicked my finger a second time, causing her to twitch and suck in her breath. "I can't seem to keep my hands off you." My voice was hoarse with arousal. I wanted to flip her around and fuck her raw, fuck the anger out of my system, and fuck in a new beginning, but I knew that wasn't the solution.
Her breathless response made me rethink that.
"Only for you, Sax." Her tone was thick with emotion.
I ground my back teeth. At this rate I wouldn't have any left by the time I left the room. My dick ached with the need to sink inside her tight, little body. My heart had never stopped loving Holly, had never stopped wanting her, and probably never would. We'd had something good for a long time. I missed us, too. I knew that I could have chosen to just forgive and forget and go back to the way we’d been, but my fucking pride wouldn't let me.
Her moan brought me out of my head and back to the present. How could I forget that my finger was swiping between her soaked pussy lips? I thumped her clit, feeling the deep shudder run through her body, and then, unable to help myself, I sank my finger inside her hot sheath. At the same time I lifted my hips so that my dick rubbed against her body, trying to lessen the ache. We both let out a sound that indicated the depth of our arousal.
I wasn't going to fuck her.
But I'd never wanted anything more.
Instead I continued to dry hump against her belly while fingering her cunt. I added another finger, curling them to search out that hard to find sweet spot. The second I found it I knew. Holly couldn't control her body's reaction as it clenched around my fingers and she let out a cry. I heard her mumble, "God, yes," breathlessly, and decided to focus on the patch of nerves to send her flying while I continued to grind myself against her.
Her whimpers and moans and the sound of her breathing turning harsh revealed that she was getting close. The ache in my balls, the way they tightened, warned me that I could easily come. I added a third finger and began to fuck her fast and hard, using my thumb to rub and press against her swollen clit. Christ, she was wet and hot, her body squeezing my fingers tightly. Her hips moved, seeking my thrusts. Needing more friction against my dick, I pressed down on her back until I thought I was going to break my fucking dick off.
The feeling was worth the pain.
Our breathing sounded loud and uncontrolled in the room as we chased orgasms that promised to be intense and gratifying. The telltale tingle at the base of my spine, the swelling of my dick, and I knew I was going to blow. I pinched Holly's clit and curled my fingers once more into those sensitive nerves. "Come for me, Baby!" I demanded in loud pants. "Now!"
I grunted, and then groaned as my dick erupted and I filled my pants with cum. Holly cried out seconds later, convulsing around my fingers and soaking them with her cream. We were both a mess, riding out the overwhelming wave of ecstasy that kept fire in our blood. My whole fucking body felt like a live wire with my release, and my heart was pounding hard.
Fuck, I'd needed that, but I needed more. We'd been fighting the fucking Knights every night for a week, and I'd not found any relief the way that my brothers had. They'd given me a hard time about it, too, noticing that I hadn't taken up with any of the club girls. Holly and I were in a bad place right now, but if I fucked one of the girls I'd have to admit that it was really over.
I wasn't ready to do that yet.
As I felt Holly’s body relax against me, I withdrew my fingers. Her soft moan indicated that she was still sensitive. "Don't fall asleep," I teased.
"I won't."
Fuck, was she crying? I withdrew my hand from between her legs and pulled her into a sitting position on my lap. Her hair was in her face, and I brushed it aside so I could see her. Diamonds sparkled in her eyes. Some h
ad fallen down her cheeks. My eyes were drawn to the trembling of her mouth. She must have been chewing on it, because her bottom lip was swollen. My gut clenched. Was this because of that fucking job? I couldn't understand why it was affecting her so strongly. Sure, it sucked that she’d lost it, but it was just a job. "I'll find the asshole who called Crickets."
She shook her head vigorously. "No, Sax, it's not just that." She glanced up to look into my eyes. "I'm crying because of everything," she said passionately. "I never thought my selfishness and making one, stupid mistake would turn into such a fucking mess!" She sucked in a broken breath. "I miss...us!" she whisper yelled.
I didn't know what to say. Christ, I'd had my fair share of fuck-ups too, and I'd owned them by accepting the consequences and taking the punishment. It seemed that Holly was doing just that, and suffering, too. I wished things could have been different, but making the decision to go off birth control when she’d known how I felt about having kids was a tough pill to swallow, and if Ava turned out to be someone else's I wasn't sure if I could ever forgive her.
One thing I did know—reminding her that she'd been the one to break if off between us wouldn't accomplish anything. We both knew why she’d done it now. If she'd talked to me in the beginning things might have been different, but I could understand why she'd been afraid to and had run instead. She would have had to admit after the sexual assault that she'd gone off the pill. At least she hadn't decided to never say anything and try to pawn off someone else's kid on me.
"Do you think you can ever forgive me?"
"Forgive, in time, yeah. Trust?" That was a whole other issue. "Not sure. I'm being honest with you, Holly. You were the one person I trusted above everyone else."
"You'll never know how sorry I am." Holly slipped off my lap and pulled up her shorts.
I had an idea. "Enough with the ‘sorry,’" I said, releasing a loud breath and standing up. "Now we deal with the fallout and move on, yeah?"
Our gazes clung for a minute. I was so close to grabbing her to me and offering her the comfort that I sensed she needed that I moved quickly to get a pair of clean pants out of my dresser and then disappeared into the bathroom.
When I returned, I was surprised to see Holly standing in the same spot I'd left her. She'd straightened up her clothes and she still had that flushed, just-fucked-look on her face, even though we hadn't actually fucked. I gave her a questioning look, sensing that she had something to say.
She took a deep breath. "I know I don't have any business asking, but has there been anyone else since . . . since we broke up?"
It was none of her business, she was right. But I had the impression that if I didn't answer her, she would crumble. I glared at her for a long minute, trying to decide if I wanted to be honest or leave her with doubts. But I couldn't willingly hurt her. When renewed tears began to fill her eyes, I realized that she'd taken my hesitation as a “yes.”
"No," I said sharply.
The relief on her face was instant, and she began to breathe again. Her bottom lip quivered, and when she drew it into her mouth, I knew that it was her way of holding back the tears. I resisted the urge to go to her and take her into my arms to give her the comfort I sensed she needed. I couldn't give her what she wanted right then, the wound was still too raw, the anger still too deep.
We had shit to work out.
I turned and walked to the door.
"Sax."
With my hand on the doorknob, I stopped and glanced back at her. Holly looked almost shy as she offered, "If you need a place to sleep, this bed is big enough for the two of us to share."
So many thoughts filled my head with her words. My dick obviously liked the idea if the tingling was any indication, but I knew that Holly wasn't offering sex. With the clubhouse full, it left me with little options to lay my head. I'd been using Goldie's room while she shared with another brother or one of the club girls.
Goldie was another problem that I had to take care of. She was wearing my patience thin.
"Not sure that'd be a good idea."
I left it at that, then opened the door and walked out.
Chapter 24
Holly
Later, after I'd showered and pulled myself together, I decided that I needed to seek Demon out. I knew that he'd be expecting it. I braced myself for the critical looks I would get as I headed down the stairs, but most who were still around ignored me, other than a few brief glances. It was as if the whole incident had never happened. Thank God, because I didn't think I could take the smirks or snide remarks that usually followed a confrontation involving one of the members. I had to wonder if Sax had said something. I searched the room, but didn't see him. I didn't see Demon either.
My gaze lit on the cluster of old ladies that I hung around with. As I walked their way, I received looks mixed with encouragement, understanding, and amusement. I couldn't help smiling as I neared them.
"Are you walking a little funny?" Raven giggled, her eyes dancing.
At first I thought she'd guessed that Sax had given me an orgasm, but then I realized that she was referring to the spanking. I reached back and smoothed my hand over one cheek. "Not my finest moment," I breathed, referring to my outburst. "Sax has never, um, spanked me before."
Laughter burst out from Bobbie and Ellie, but it was JoJo who practically shouted, "You've never been spanked?!"
Several heads turned our way. I gave JoJo a glare. "Would you hold it down, please?" I scolded, slightly embarrassed. "And yes, I've been spanked, just not in anger."
"Sax didn't look so angry when he came down the stairs. In fact, he looked kind of satisfied."
I rolled my eyes at Bobbie's comment, not about to respond one way or the other.
"Are you okay, honey?"
I gave Annie an appreciative smile and nodded. "Yeah." I took a breath. "I just need for lockdown to be over." I wanted to get on with my life.
"We all want that," Raven sighed.
I sank to the floor and pulled Ava into my arms. She smelled so good, and I couldn't resist the desire to bury my nose into the little rolls around her neck and nuzzle her, breathing in deep. When I expelled a breath she giggled and buried her hands into my hair as if to hold me there. "Were you a good girl, honey?"
"She's teething," JoJo remarked.
I nodded. "Yeah, I know. Isn't it kind of early?"
JoJo glanced to Ellie for an answer. Ellie shrugged. "Don't look at me. How would I know when babies are supposed to start getting teeth? Izzy was about eight-months-old when she got her first one. I think when it's time, it's time."
JoJo frowned. "Has she been keeping you up at night?"
"No, but she's been whinny and drooling a lot. Maybe I should get her in to the doctor." I put Ava over my shoulder and began to pat her back.
"Honey, if anything was wrong with her, she'd be a screaming banshee and would probably have a temperature."
Raven burst out laughing at Ellie's comment. "This coming from someone who took her baby to the emergency room for an ear infection that turned out to be baby powder?!"
Ellie shot Raven a scowl. "The inside of her ears were white!" she snapped in her defense. "Wait until you're a first time mother."
"Calm down, honey," JoJo hushed in a smooth tone. "The first time I ran Samuel to the doctor was when his umbilical cord fell. I was worried too much had come off. Turns out he has an innie, not an outie like me and Oz."
"You both have outies?" Bobbie asked with surprise. "Outies are rare."
"What? No way!" Annie laughed, waving Bobbie off. "How would you know that?"
"I'm more than just a pretty face," Bobbie joked. "Besides, in high school I had to do an essay in biology for extra credit because I was failing. My teacher said she wanted me to choose a unique topic, so I picked innie vs outie bellybuttons."
"Boy, that must have been a riveting paper." I smirked. "Did you pass?"
Bobbie's mouth turned down at the corners. "Apparently an essay is more than
a hundred words." Everyone laughed. "But she gave me another chance, so yes, I passed with a high D." This resulted in more laughter all around.
Ava seemed content on my shoulder. Every so often I inhaled her scent deeply into my lungs, and the world was right again. I caught Raven watching me with a big smile on her face, her hand rubbing her baby bump. She was positively glowing in her pregnancy. I remembered those days. Despite everything else that was happening in my life at the time, being pregnant had been the happiest time of my life.
"So, I take it the job with Crickets fell through?"
I gave Bobbie a nod. "Yeah. Someone called representing me and told them I was no longer interested."
"And they said their name was Sax?" JoJo inquired, arranging some blocks with Samuel. "Talk about a coincidence! Two men called Sax in the same city." Her tone was skeptical.
"Yeah. He swears it wasn't him. He's going to find out who it was."
"Sounds like someone who doesn't like you, honey, someone who wants to cause you grief." I couldn't disagree with Annie.
"Have you pissed off anyone lately?"
"Not on purpose," I snorted. "But..." I cut myself off, unwilling to put my suspicions into words. I didn't want to cause any more trouble.
"But?" Raven encouraged.
I set Ava down in front of me, holding her hands to help her balance sitting up. "I'm afraid to say. I don't have any proof. And it's just a feeling."
"What is it, honey?"
I chewed on my bottom lip. I could hear the concern in Raven's voice. It matched the worry in her eyes. I really didn't want to start anything, especially if it turned out that my suspicions were wrong. I let go of Ava's hands and watched her wobble to keep from falling.
"If it's someone in the club, we should know about it."
I laughed at Bobbie's attempt to get me to open up. "You're just nosey bitches," I joked. I looked around to see who might be listening, but it seemed like everyone was minding their own business. I shrugged and spoke low. "It's just a feeling, but when I was going off on Sax, I noticed a, um, look on Goldie's face that seemed a little, I don't know, suspicious to me. As if she was pleased with herself over something."
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