by J. E. Parker
I didn't wait around for him to continue.
Needing to see my kids and grandson, to hold them in my arms, and to make sure they were okay, I stomped on the gas again.
Knowing I would likely end up in jail, I swerved around the parked cars, and drove straight through the orange police barrier, busting the plastic barricade against the front end of my truck.
Not that I gave two shits if I got locked up. I didn’t. One phone call was all it would take for the Crazy Old Biddy to come bail me out.
God knows I would do the same for her.
Hell, I had.
One of the squad cars quickly gave chase, riding my bumper as I sped down the normally quiet street, no doubt to arrest me the moment I stopped, something they'd have to wait to do until after I made sure my family was unharmed.
And if they weren’t—
Fuck! I didn't even want to think about it.
Reaching Moretti's house, I slammed on the brakes, locking the wheels. Tires screeching, I came to a sideways sliding stop and jumped out of the truck without cutting the engine.
A stocky officer I recognized, but whose name I couldn't place, stepped in my way, trying to block my path to the open front door.
"Get out of my way!" It was the only warning I gave before dropping my shoulder and slamming it into his burly chest, knocking him to the ground.
I was surprised he didn't shoot me.
Hearing my angry, panic-stricken voice, Moretti himself, the little prick, stepped into the doorway. I pushed past him and moved into the foyer, the smell of cleaning supplies and scented candles hitting my nose.
"Where the hell is she?" I screamed, temples throbbing as I whirled around and faced down the man I was reasonably sure would one day become my son-in-law. Christ help me. "Dammit, Moretti, I asked you a question!"
"Motherfu—“
Done with him, I turned and headed for the living room, where I found Shelby and Lucca both. Heart in my throat, I looked them both over head-to-toe, checking them for visible signs of injury.
I saw none.
And thank God for that.
"Shelby," I whispered, all the anger fleeing my voice at the sight of my beautiful girl, who was a damned mess.
Eyes red and puffy from crying, her silky blonde hair was in disarray, and bruises were already forming on her tanned arms and legs. "What the hell happened here?"
Moretti chose that moment to step in front of me, placing a barrier between myself and my shaken daughter. "You need to leave, James," he said, tone demanding. "Now."
Like hell I would. "Fuck no!" I hollered, irate once more. "Not until I know what's going on."
His body stiffened. "Someone shot at the house. Everyone is fine. I'm handling it. That's all you need to know. Now get the hell out of my house."
Yeah, that wasn’t going to work for me.
"To hell with this," I mumbled, fighting to keep my temper in check. Now wasn't the time to lose the tenuous hold I had on it. Not with Shelby rattled and my young grandson looking on. "Shelby, I need to talk to you. This can't wait any damn longer."
If only I'd had the sense to watch my mouth.
"Five minutes," I continued. "Just give me five minutes."
Ignoring me, Shelby's face warmed as Maddie, followed by my son, the Crazy Old Biddy, and Keith, Maddie's father, stormed into the house in a flurry of activity.
Coming to a standstill at my side, Keith and Hendrix watched as Maddie and Grandmama checked Shelby and Lucca both over from head-to-toe, their eyes full of tears and relief.
"Shelby!" I yelled, having had enough of their mother hen clucking but not meaning to holler loud enough to wake the dead. "I need to talk to you."
"No," she snapped, inhaling sharply. "In case you haven't noticed, right now isn't a good time."
I understood that, but this couldn't wait.
Not a single second longer.
"Yeah," I replied, "we're going to talk about that in a minute because I'm not leaving here until I know what happened." Along with who I needed to kill for putting my daughter and grandson in danger.
"Not your business, Pop," she sassed, giving me a glimpse of the attitude that she and Hendrix both shared. "It doesn't concern you, so you might as well turn around and head—"
I'd had it.
Absolutely had it.
“Everything you do concerns me!"
Close to clocking me if his fisted hand was anything to go by, Moretti stepped forward. “Like fuck it does,” he growled. "You have no right to question anything concerning her. Now get out of my house."
My anger reached a whole new level, I’m talking nuclear, because I was Shelby’s father. Even if she hated me after she learned that fact, she would always be my little girl.
"I have every right."
"Why?" Maddie's soft voice caught my attention. "What is going on with you, Pop? You've been acting all sorts of crazy when it comes to Shelby, and now you're saying it's your right to be concerned about her?" Eyes pinned on me, she asked again, "Why?"
I took a deep breath and my nostrils flared.
Eyes burning with tears, I never shifted my attention from my daughter as I answered Maddie, saying the words I'd been waiting to speak since the moment Shelby stumbled into my life.
"I have every right...”
I paused, pulse thumping.
"Because she's my daughter."
Carmen
Seven Years Later
Welcome to North Charleston School of Nursing.
Despite my heart being heavy with dread, a genuine smile tipped my lips as I passed NCSN's flower-lined entrance and veered my pre-owned white Kia toward the south side of the small campus where the Nightingale Clinic stood between towering oak trees.
It was one of my favorite places to spend time, something I got to do for a few minutes four days a week when I dropped Jade off, then later picked her up from class.
A second-year nursing student, Jade had done a one-eighty in the years since we'd thwarted El Diablo's attempt to kill us.
Since that defining moment, one I still couldn't believe we'd survived, we'd made Charleston our home. Over an hour away from Toluca, it was the same city where I now worked as the Executive Housekeeper of High Tide, a small seaside extended-stay motel.
Conveniently enough, the small inn was also where she and I had lived since moving out of the North Charleston Women's Shelter, the staff of which I was deeply indebted and possessed more gratitude than I'd ever be able to express.
Not only had they given us a place to live when we’d needed it most, they'd also helped me find a job and enroll Jade back in school, something I had been adamant about doing.
But most importantly, Shelia, one of the volunteers who spent her evenings at the shelter after working all day as a hard-nosed family law attorney, had gathered all the official documents we needed to cement our new identities as Camilla and Evelyn Cole.
Birth certificates.
Social Security cards.
A driver's license for me.
How she'd done it, I didn't know.
And one look at her stern face when I dared ask was enough for me to zip my lips and never question the strings she'd pulled to help two women she'd known were running from danger the moment she’d first met us, ever again.
For the things she'd done, and for the second chance she'd helped give us, I owed her everything.
I'd told her as much too before we left the shelter, and after pulling me in for a rib-crushing hug, she'd whispered that the only thanks she needed was for Jade and me to swear to live our lives to the fullest.
It was a vow we'd both tried to keep.
If only I'd kept my promise to James, then—
Hell-bent on blocking out the malicious voice in my head intent on stirring up more sadness than I could handle, I cranked up the radio, rolled down my window, and opened the manual sunroof as I followed the twisting campus road I was on.
Reaching my destination a minut
e later, I readjusted the oversized sunglasses covering my eyes and parallel parked next to the painted curb, nearly scraping it in the process.
Admittedly, I was a terrible driver.
Gaze scouring the various groups of scrub-wearing students, most of them female, scattered among the benches surrounding the brick building, I looked for a certain redhead.
I spotted her within seconds.
Seated all alone beneath a small dogwood, she held her bulging black messenger bag in her lap as she watched all the other nursing students, most of them talking, some of them laughing, but all of them happy looking.
All except for her.
And seeing her by herself, her lips turned down, vacant stare full of longing, made my chest hurt something fierce.
She missed Chiquita so much.
Unable to stand bearing witness to her sadness a second longer, I turned off the car's engine, unlatched my seatbelt, and climbed out, intent on reaching her and making her smile.
Only, I didn't make it that far.
The moment I stepped into the afternoon sunlight, she saw me. And that grin, the one I'd been hoping to see moments before, made an appearance, calming the hurt that thumped inside me.
Jumping to her feet, she tossed her book-laden bag over her shoulder and headed toward me, sprinting through the grass and around the water fountain separating us in record time.
"Mama C!" she yelled, ignoring the attention she drew from curious bystanders.
Reaching the sidewalk, she came to a sudden, less than graceful stop, and popped her hip to the side in a move that was all her before crossing her arms over her chest, shoving the school ID badge clipped to her scrub top toward her throat.
Evelyn Cole, it read, right below her picture.
North Charleston School of Nursing.
Pride bloomed in my chest at the sight.
She'd worked so hard and had come so far.
If only Chiquita was here too—
"You're late," she snapped, feigning irritation, and jerking me from my thoughts. "Again, I might add."
I opened my mouth to explain that if her sassy culo would've read the text I'd sent an hour earlier, she would've known I was running late.
Like always.
But alas, Ms. Attitude gave me no chance. "I've been sitting here for thirty minutes and—"
Her mouth snapped shut when she glimpsed the dozen red roses resting on the Kia's backseat, and the white teddy bear seated next to them.
An ocean of tears filled her sad eyes, and my chin wobbled in return, the dread from before multiplying.
"That's why you're late, isn't it?" She pointed to each item with a shaking finger. First one, then the other. "Because you had to stop and pick up Ashley's gifts."
A lump formed in my throat. "Si, bebé."
Arms falling to her sides, she dropped her head back and looked up at the cloud-covered sky, trying to stop her tears from falling.
“Over seven years," she whispered, her gaze meeting mine once more. "I can't believe she's been gone that long."
Knees close to giving way, I grasped the open car door for support. "Neither can I."
Shaking her head, she stepped forward and yanked open the passenger side door. Throwing her bag onto the water bottle-lined floorboard, she stared at the front seat, bottom lip trembling. "It's never going to get easier, is it?"
I wanted to speak a mentira, heavens knew I did, but I couldn't lie to her. "No," I replied, the pang of my beautiful chica's absence washing through me. "As much as I wish for it too, I don't think it will."
Not when we both loved her so.
Jade nodded and glanced at the setting sun as it approached the horizon. At most, we had two hours of daylight left, maybe a little less.
"We should go," she mumbled, mirroring my thoughts. "I don't know about you, but I don't want to be out there after the sun goes down and it gets all creepy."
The way she said there was proof of the disgust she harbored for the swamp that had become her older sister's final resting place.
And almost ours, too.
Without another word, she climbed into the car and slammed the door shut behind her.
I followed suit.
"Seatbelt, bebé." I slid the key into the ignition, starting the car. "You know the rule—I don't move an inch until you're buckled up and safe."
Despite the roll of her eyes that followed my words, a ghost of a smile tipped her lips, washing away the hurt that had painted her features mere seconds before. "Fine." The sarcasm that dripped from the lone word was thick. "But you put yours on too."
She glared at me.
"Are you wearing your contacts? Because if not, put your regular specks on instead of those fancy sunglasses." My brows climbed my forehead when she lifted her nose, all haughty-like. "Because we both know you're blinder than a bat in addition to being a craptastic driver, and quite frankly, I don't want to end up as a greasy spot on the highway."
I scoffed. "Alright, smartass."
Crinkling her nose, she crossed her arms and huffed out a breath. "Haven't I told you before that I'd rather my culo be smart than dumb?" Sticking her tongue out at me, she pointed out the windshield. "Now step on it, Louise, we're burning daylight."
I chuckled, the agony gripping me easing. "Whatever you say, Thelma."
Leaning back in my seat, I checked my side-view mirror and started to pull away from the curb but stopped short when she reached across the center console and laced her fingers with mine.
"Mama C…"
Foot on the brake, I pushed my sunglasses to the top of my head and looked her way. Bottom lip pulled between her teeth, she shifted, all traces of humor gone from her beautiful face. "Si?"
"It's safe to go back there, right?"
It was the same question she asked each time, and understandably so. After everything we'd been through and barely survived, returning to where our sadistic pimp had ordered our bodies to be dumped was a risky move.
But it was one we'd decided was worth taking. Chiquita deserved to be visited, to be honored. It was why we visited the makeshift memorial we'd created against a hollowed out weeping willow, right next to where Jade had found me floating in four feet of murky swamp water, a couple times each year.
"I won't let anything happen to you," I promised, squeezing her hand. "Not ever again."
I would die first.
She nodded. "Okay." Turning to peer out the windshield, she blew out a breath and pulled herself together, tamping down the anxiety swirling inside her. "Let's go visit my sister." Eyes sliding closed, she leaned her head back against the seat. "Let's go visit our Ashley."
Throat clogged with emotion, I couldn't offer her a reply. If I tried, I would've burst out in tears, followed by soul-wrecking sobs, both of which would've caused her to meltdown as well.
So, I did the only thing I could.
I stepped on the gas and drove.
I was right. This will never get easier.
Standing next to sulfur-smelling swamp water and on the lookout for any sneaky alligators that may have lurked close by, I watched, cheeks raw and eyes burning from endless tears, as Jade kneeled next to Ashley's memorial.
Shoulders shaking, she sobbed as she placed the dozen red roses and simple white bear against the trunk of the weeping willow.
"I miss you, Ash," she cried. "I miss you so much, sometimes I forget how to breathe."
Seconds away from hitting the ground myself, my stomach twisted. How I remained standing when my bare legs were Jell-O was anyone's guess.
Sharp pain slashed at my heart, then my soul, and like it always did when faced with insurmountable grief, my mind conjured up one painful memory after another of the one person who had vanquished my demons and soothed my hurt every time he was near.
Guapo.
As James' smiling face flashed in my mind, my muscles gave way, and behind Jade, I collapsed. Knees hitting the swampy mud, I sank into the wet earth as I bent over, one hand c
lutching the skirt of my blue sundress, the other which my keys dangled from, covering my mouth.
Unable to hold back the tidal wave of hurt roaring beneath every inch of my skin thanks to grieving Ashley and having to walk away from my soul mate in order to save him and the son I considered mine, I let the sobs suffocating me free.
I missed them.
I missed them so much.
The pain, the anguish, the suffering.
I couldn't take it.
"Ashley," I cried, dropping my hand from my quivering lips. "Bebé, I'm so sorry."
A scream danced on the tip of my tongue as rage boiled my blood. She hadn't deserved what El Diablo had done to her! A beautiful girl inside and out, she was so much better than her last chapter—murdered by the devil and discarded like a piece of trash.
And it was all my fault.
If only I'd been smarter and fought harder.
"I'm so sorry," I repeated. "I'm sorry that I failed to save you." More images of James followed by ones of Hendrix and Maddie flashed in my mind. Their smiling faces broke me further.
They were our future, our happily ever after.
"I ruined everything!" I screamed as Jade turned and wrapped her arms around me, pulling my body into hers. "I ruined everything by being weak, and I'll never forgive myself for letting Dominic hurt you…"
Or for letting him destroy my future with James.
"Please forgive m-me," I begged, voice cracking as the sun dipped lower, shrouding us in dangerous shadows. "Please forgive me, Chiquita, for being a worthless junkie whore instead of the fearless, loving madre you deserved—“
I jerked my head up, ripped free of my misery, when Jade froze against me, her chest heaving with what I knew was fear, making every hair on the back of my neck stand on end.
Something is wrong.
"Mama C," she whispered, terror dripping from her tone like thick honey. "Oh my God." Hand gripping my arm, she dug her nails into my skin, nearly drawing blood. "No…"
Shoulders slumping, she curled in on herself, reminding me far too much of the broken girl she'd once been and not the healing woman she'd grown to be. "This can't be happening."