by Penny Wylder
“The other thing though is that I look like him. Always have. I look so much like him now that sometimes I’m startled in the morning. And when I was younger, it made me wonder about myself. If I looked so much like him, maybe I was like him.”
He holds me closer for a moment, and slowly, I slip my arms around his waist.
“Your dad knows all about it. He knew I was afraid of being like my dad and he told me that I wasn’t. And I promised him that I never would be.
“And then you happened. That night when you turned eighteen, I had never looked at you on purpose. I knew how beautiful you were and I knew that I could never, ever cross that line with you. But that night in the kitchen—” His voice cracks off with emotion. “I wanted you more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life. You painted the image of our life together and those pictures filled my mind like they were waiting for me. Like I already knew that they were right. I almost fucked you up against the refrigerator.”
“I would have liked it,” I whisper, admitting what I’m sure was painfully obvious to him.
“So would I. But you were eighteen, and I was thirty-eight, and all I could think about was that you were Bruce’s daughter, and that I swore that I would never be like my dad. And it would have been the same. I could see the headlines about the daughter of the ice cream tycoon getting knocked up by the son of Tristan Swallows—like father like son.
“I felt dirty and sick for wanting you. Like scum. But I knew if I stayed that I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. So I ran away.”
I hold him tighter, everything falling into place and new tears slipping down my face for him. I wish that I would have known. That I could have spared him this pain.
He pulls back and looks at me. “I am so sorry, Nicola. I should have told you. I came back because after four years of suffering without you, I knew I had to do something different. I was going mad. And I knew that now, even though I can’t pretend that the age difference doesn’t make me nervous, you’re not eighteen. There won’t be any question of propriety when you were underage. And I didn’t think that I could live without you any longer.”
I pull his face down to mine and kiss him for real. I never should have doubted him. I never should have thought he had the capacity to deceive me like that. I’ve always known that he was good. It’s what drew me to him in the first place.
“I’m sorry that I doubted you,” I say. “I didn’t know how to feel. But you don’t have to worry about me now. I know I’m only twenty-two, but I know my own mind. I still choose you.”
Tristan kisses me hard, crushing me against his body, and the sweet undeniable relief is exhilarating and I’m crying again because I’m happy. “Take me home, Tristan.”
“What about dinner?”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to sit in a room full of people right now. I need to be with you, just us. Please.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice.” He wraps his arm around my waist, and walks me to his car. We don’t bother with mine. There’s an unspoken agreement not to let go, and we don’t, even while he’s driving.
Now I understand why he was upset that day outside Callie’s. I had no idea what he had gone through, and the fact that he has so much guilt about it makes sense. That’s not something that he’s going to be able to let go of easily. But I think I’m going to spend the rest of my life helping him try.
12
Tristan
I feel like both my heart and body have been run over by a tractor. It’s all I can do to focus on the road in front of me.
Until the moment that Nicola said no, I thought I had experienced every kind of pain. Turns out I was wrong. I should have told her about my father before this, and the guilt that swims in my stomach over making her question me—question us—for the reasons I was trying to avoid is making me ill.
Nicola hasn’t let go of me since my confession, and she hasn’t run away either. But she’s right, I don’t think that I could take being in a restaurant right now. I need to feel her skin on mine. Be inside her and get us back to where we were. We both need that connection.
We pull up to my place, and I’m nervous. It feels like this is the make-or-break moment for us. If we get past this moment, we’ll make it. But it’s not a guarantee. Nevertheless, I don’t let go of her hand as we walk up the steps and into the house, and I try to hold her hand as much as possible even as we’re taking off our coats.
“I need to ask your forgiveness,” I tell her.
“No, you don’t, Tristan. I should be apologizing. I should have just asked instead of shutting down.”
“You never should have needed to ask,” I counter.
She smiles. “How about we forgive each other and skip to the part where we have make-up sex?”
I breathe out a sigh of relief. “Deal,” I say. “But if you have any questions or doubts, I want to know about them, Nicola. I don’t want us to ever be driven apart by something we could have talked about.”
“Agreed,” she says.
“Good. Now go to my bedroom and take off your clothes.”
Nicola raises an eyebrow. “That was pretty bossy.”
I lean closer, kissing her neck before whispering. “I’m going to be the boss for the night. And when we’re done we’re going to make sure there’s no questions or hesitation between us. Now go upstairs and take off your clothes.”
She gives me a sly smile before she goes, but says nothing. I watch the way she walks up the stairs, her hips intentionally swaying more than normal. She’s got a fucking gorgeous ass, and it’s mine. It’s always going to be mine.
As soon as she disappears I take the ring out of my coat pocket and put it in my pants. Then I head to the kitchen and pour two glasses of wine. I’m going to give her some time to breathe, and wonder what I have planned. She’ll figure it out as soon as I pin her against the wall, but I’m looking forward to the look on her face. Especially when I show her the new toy that I bought for her.
Something that will help my fantasy come true. Eventually.
My heart has settled into a normal rhythm and so has my gut. I have been so afraid of this, and it’s over. Thank fuck.
Walking up the stairs, I hear music coming from my bedroom. Our bedroom. I’ve been referring to it as our bedroom since she first stayed over. Because I know as long as I live here it will always be ours. There’s no part of it that can be separated from the two of us. It’s where we slept together for the first time, and where she lost her virginity, and hopefully where she’ll agree to be my wife. It is ours.
Nicola is naked just like I asked, posed on the bed in a way that makes her look like the centerfold of the playboy calendar. I’m hard instantly. This feels more normal, that tension that strung between us the past few days evaporating with every second.
I place the glasses of wine on the nightstand and open her drawer of the dresser where I placed the toy. “I have something for you, if you’re willing.”
I give her a smile. One that’s hopefully teasing and filled with lust at the same time. “Something that will help my fantasy. Just to get you started.”
Her eyes widen as I lift the box that shows the purple butt plug. But she doesn’t look scared. More curious. “You’re going to put that—”
“In your perfectly delicious ass, yes.”
Nicola licks her lips and I don’t even think that she’s conscious of doing it. “How does that help your fantasy?”
I sit next to her on the bed, and with one motion pull her over my lap so the canvas I’m looking for is within reach. She squeaks but doesn’t protest. “Because your ass isn’t used to taking things the size of my cock. It’s not used to taking things at all. And as much as I’d like to bury myself balls deep on the first try, that would be painful for you. So we’ll start small, and then when I think you’re ready, I’m going to fuck you here so hard you won’t ever forget it.” I drift my fingers over the skin of her ass, watching the goosebumps rise on her skin and fe
el her stiffen as I touch her hole.
Earlier, before everything, I had already planned to do this and I left a bottle of lube on the nightstand, and I grab it. “You’re okay with this?”
Nicola’s voice is breathy, and her hips rise up towards my hands. “Yes.”
Wetting my fingers with the lube, I draw it across her skin before I push in with one finger and she gasps. “Oh.”
“Breathe.” I place my other hand on her upper back. “Relax.”
I feel when she does, and my finger slips deeper. God, this is so fucking hot, I’m in pain. My cock is straining against my pants and there’s no way she doesn’t feel it because it’s poking up into her stomach.
Slowly, I work my finger inside, and back out. Just a few strokes to get her used to it, but all I can think about is how tight she is and what it will be like gripping my cock. I can’t wait for that day.
I grab the plug and coat it with lube. “Here it is,” I say, gently pressing it against her ass. She jumps a little, and then relaxes again. It’s a tiny plug. Barely bigger than my finger, and it pops in without too much effort.
“How does that feel?”
Nicola wiggles her hips. “Weird.”
“Good weird?”
“Honestly?” She asks. “I’m not sure yet. But it’s not bad weird.”
I let my hand drop between her legs, and allow my fingers to explore her. She’s soaking wet, and my fingers come away shining. “Seems like your body thinks it’s good weird,” I say.
“Yeah.”
Lifting her up, I set her on her feet. “Against the wall.”
Nicola goes still. “What?”
I point. “Put your back against that wall.”
What I’m about to do sinks in, and her cheeks and chest flush with that delicious pink that I love so much. But she obeys, backing up.
The video she sent me had both participants naked, but I’m not going to be. It’s not the fact that the woman is being fucked against a wall that makes that video amazing to watch. It’s the vulnerability.
And few things make you feel more vulnerable, more out of control, than being naked when someone else has clothes on. I unbuckle my belt as I approach her, letting my cock spring free. Fuck that feels good.
Slowly, I lift Nicola’s chin so that she’s looking me in the eyes. “You know what I’m doing?”
“Yes.”
I run my thumb along her lower lip. “Feel free to scream for me.”
Her chest rises and falls faster. “Okay.”
Scooping my hands under her thighs, I lift her off the ground so her legs settle on my hips before I enter her with one thrust. Even with the tiny plug the fit is more snug, and she moans.
I force her back against the wall, pressing her into it with my chest. “Give me your hands, Nicola.”
It takes her a second, but she lifts them off my shoulders and gives them to me. I don’t grab her hands though, only her wrists before I spread them as far as they can go and pin them to the wall. “Do you like this?” I ask softly.
“Yes,” she breathes.
I thrust once, and her head falls back, exposing her perfect neck to me and I can’t not taste her skin. “I’ve got you right where I want you,” I whisper. “Helpless and pinned, supported by nothing but my thick, hard, cock.”
Nicola whimpers, her pussy squeezing down on me in a reflex. She likes the dirty talk and being reminded of who’s in charge. Before she sent me this video she thought about it. She knew that I was going to try to reenact it and she chose this.
I run my tongue up along her neck until my lips are pressed against her ear. “And with that plug in your ass, two of your naughty holes are filled by me. Now all I need is a gag for that pretty mouth of yours and you’ll be stuffed full.”
“Fuck, Tristan,” she gasps. “Please, fuck me.”
“I’ll fuck you when I’m ready,” I say roughly, feeling her nipples pebble into peaks between us. “But right now I know that my girlfriend likes dirty talk, and I can feel how hot you get when I talk about what I’m going to do to you.”
She shudders, eyes closed, and I try to keep the smile off my face, to remain serious. But this is fun. God, I love her, and I love making her squirm.
“I should get a gag that’s a cock, so you’ve got one down your throat while I fuck you.”
“They make those?”
“They do,” I growl, pulling back far enough to drive into her, and she cries out.
Rolling my hips, I make sure to grind against her clit. She pulls me closer with her legs in response.
Every move I make is slow and deliberate, not just because this is a difficult position to hold but because I want to make her shake, drawing out every ounce of pleasure that I possibly can.
I settle on a steady pace, smooth and rolling and aiming for as much friction as possible. Nicola’s fingers flare and curl into fists, and her hips try to thrust back against me. But the way I have her she can’t move at all. “Jesus, Tristan. Please. I need—” She cuts off. “I need to come.”
“Who’s in charge tonight?”
Her eyes fly open, locking with mine. “You are.”
“So who decides if you come?”
Her face goes red, and she bites her lip as I thrust harder. “You do.”
“Do you like that?” I grind against her, making it nearly impossible for her to answer, but I still want to hear her say it. “Do you like it, Nicola?”
“Fuck, yes.” Her words are drawn out and desperate.
I take her mouth in a rough kiss, stealing her breath. I don’t need to be dominant, not every day, not all the time. But right now, like this, I love it. When both of us are unsure and our emotions are battered, someone needs to be the leader, and as long as I live, if Nicola needs someone to take control so she doesn’t have to be afraid to let go, I will be that person for her.
And in the mean time I get to have a little fun with her.
“I’m going to fuck you now, baby. Hard. And you’re going to count backwards from sixty. Out loud.”
“What?” she gasps. “Why?”
“Because I said so. I want you drowning in pleasure by the time you come. When you get to zero you have permission.”
“But—”
“Count.” There’s no room for argument in my tone. And I start to fuck, driving into her with brutal force and keeping her locked against the wall. She moans loudly, gasping for breath. “Count,” I say.
“Sixty, fifty-nine, fifty-eight.” She starts to count, and the look on her face is torn between being swept away with pleasure and trying to focus. She messes up a couple times, but mostly stays on track.
Her pussy feels so good that I’m almost not sure that I’ll make it to zero either, but I’m determined. Even when I’m slamming into a heavenly inferno.
“Fifteen, fourteen, please Tristan I can’t make it.”
“Keep counting,” I grit out.
Her words start to blend one into the other, “Fivefourthreetwoone.” And then she lets go, screaming out a climax that I can feel, shaking in my arms. She floods over my cock and I don’t stop moving inside her, watching the aftershocks quake through her.
She lets her head fall forward onto my shoulder, and I release her hands, catching her around the waist and carrying her to the bed where I lay her out and only slip out of her long enough to shed my clothes and slip back into her.
I love the sight of her below me, eyes glazed with pleasure, shining with sweat and the remains of her orgasm. This is Nicola. My forever.
It doesn’t take long for me to find my pleasure again, driving into her hard and fast until I’m on the edge. I feel myself tip over into the electric sizzle of climax, and I pull out, spilling myself over her tits and stomach, wanting to see the evidence painted on her skin. She moans again, watching me, and like she’s reading my thoughts, dips her fingers in my cum and lifts it to her lips, greedily licking her fingers clean and swallowing.
“I love you
,” I tell her. “So much.”
She smiles. “And I love you.”
“For the record, if you want the roles reversed, I’m happy to do that too.”
Nicola blushes and looks away. “I’ll think about that. But I like it when you get bossy.”
“And I love it when I can make you squirm just with my words.”
I leave her for only a moment, grabbing a wet washcloth from the bathroom and helping her clean up a little. She’s still lying limp on the bed, but she’s smiling. “Are you all right?”
“I’m perfect,” she says.
“And,” I hesitate. “Are we okay?”
Nicola reaches out and takes my hand. “Do you really think we could have just done that if we weren’t?”
“I need to ask anyway.”
“We’re okay,” she whispers.
“In that case,” I pull her so that she’s sitting up beside me on the edge of the bed, “I have one more thing that we need to figure out.”
“What’s that?”
I find the small box in the pocket of my discarded pants. “You told me that you couldn’t marry me if you didn’t have answers. You have answers now.” I kneel in front of her, and it seems appropriate that we’re both naked—nothing at all between us. “I love you more than life itself, and so I want to ask you again if you’ll be my wife?”
Tears flood her eyes and she leans forward to kiss me. “Yes. Absolutely,” she says. “It broke me to say no.”
I slip the ring onto her finger, and it sparkles in the light. It fits her finger perfectly, and my heart swells seeing that physical symbol of our relationship. Wrapping my arms around her, I press my forehead to her chest. Four years has led to this, and it couldn’t be more perfect.
“Can I ask you something?” she says.
“Anything. Always.”
Nicola swallows. “I know that you just gave me a drawer.”
I grin. “I did do that.”
“I was wondering if you’d be willing to do...more than that?” She’s looking down at her hands and fidgeting with her fingers, so I reach out and grab the glasses of wine and give one to her.