by Noelle Adams
Chloe should have been embarrassed, but she wasn’t. She was far too upset to feel anything else.
“I thought you guys were just having a good time,” Michelle said slowly. She loosened her hug and pulled back to see Chloe’s face.
Chloe sniffed. “We were. But...”
“He wants more?”
She almost strangled on a sob. “No. I do. I’m so stupid.”
“Why are you stupid? It’s great that you want more with him. You guys are great together. Why are you crying about it?”
“Because he doesn’t want me!”
Michelle was frowning now. “I don’t think that’s... that doesn’t sound right.”
“It is.” Chloe wiped her eyes and looked toward the hallway. He was too close. What if he came out? What if he saw her crying like this? “I’ve got to... get away for a while. Can I borrow your car?”
“Of course you can. Anytime. But, Chloe, wait a minute. Why don’t you stay and talk things out with Brent? I really think—”
“I can’t. I tried, and he doesn’t— I’m going to go to my parents’. I’ve got to... get away. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Chloe—”
Chloe didn’t let Michelle finish. She grabbed her purse and Michelle’s spare car keys and ran out the door.
HER PARENTS’ HOUSE was dark when she pulled into the driveway. Only the porch light was left on.
Chloe hadn’t expected anything else. Her parents went to bed early. But she had a key, so she let herself in. She could sleep in her old bedroom, and she could explain her presence somehow the next morning.
She almost jumped when she walked down the hall and heard movement from the kitchen.
Someone was up.
“Who’s there?” a voice demanded.
“It’s me, Mima!” Chloe hurried around the corner. “Sorry to scare you.”
Mima lowered the frying pan she’d been holding up in a defensive stance. She giggled. “Goodness, Chloe, you scared the daylights out of me!”
“I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t think anyone would be up.”
“I always wake up in the middle of the night,” Mima explained. “I get up and make myself a cup of chamomile tea and read my devotions.” She pointed toward a book and a mug on the kitchen table. “So come sit with me and tell me what you’re doing here.”
Chloe had been briefly distracted from her emotional state, but Mima’s kind voice did her in again. She swallowed over tears as she went to sit beside Mima at the table. “It’s nothing really.”
“I know that’s not true, or you wouldn’t be over here in the middle of the night. Did you get in a fight with Brent?”
“N-no. It’s not that.” Chloe stared down at the tabletop. How on earth could she explain to Mima what had really happened?
“Well, whatever it is, it can’t be too bad. That boy loves you so much. I’m sure you’ll be able to work it out.”
The words should have been balm to her wounded soul, but they felt like a knife slash instead. Chloe’s face tightened. Her shoulders shook.
Mima reached over to put a hand on her forearm. “Chloe, honey, what is it? You can tell me the truth.”
“He doesn’t... he doesn’t love me.”
“Now, I know that’s not true. Because, as shy as he is, he sat right at this table not so many hours ago, and he told me how much he loves you.”
“But he didn’t— You don’t really know...” She felt so torn up—and so guilty on top of everything—that she couldn’t get the words out.
Mima patted her gently. “I think I do. Your mother made up a little story for me, didn’t she?”
Chloe almost choked. “Mima? You... you knew?”
“Not at first. But I’m not as gullible as everyone takes me for. Something didn’t feel right about the way you two were together, and your mother wouldn’t look me in the eyes when she talked about you.”
“So you know then? You know that he doesn’t—”
“I know that he does. I heard him earlier. You did too. That boy is head over heels in love with you. Maybe he can’t say it to you directly yet, but he is. He loves you, Chloe. After all these years, I know how to recognize it.”
Chloe was in tears now, sobbing into her hands.
Mima let her cry for a minute, and then she said, “Give him a little time. He’ll get the words said. Or, if you want to speed it up, you can just tell him how you feel first.”
“What? You think I should—”
“One thing you’ll learn pretty quick. Women are the ones who carry most of the emotional weight of relationships. Men carry the heavy boxes. Women carry the emotions. It’s always been that way. Sure, there’ll be some exceptions, but the principle is still sound. I don’t need to tell you which one of us has to carry the heavier load.”
“Thanks a lot. That’s very encouraging.” Despite her dry tone, Chloe was wiping away some of her tears.
Mima giggled. “Might as well get used to it. So you can wait. He loves you. He’s going to come around eventually and finally get the words out. Or, if you don’t want to wait, just go back and tell him first. I promise he’ll be happy to hear what you have to say.”
“I don’t know. It’s not as easy as that.”
“It never is.”
Chloe took a few deep breaths and dried her face with her sleeves. She looked at her grandmother calmly drinking her herbal tea, and she suddenly remembered that Mima was dying.
She only had a few months left.
And she’d lied to her, over and over again.
Her face twisted up again with emotion. “I’m so sorry, Mima.”
Mima’s face twisted too. “It’s okay, Chloe. I know you were just trying to help your mother. Trying to protect me. But you didn’t have to. I’ve always been so proud of you. I don’t need to know you’re married to know that you’re going to have a wonderful life. You’re everything I could have prayed for in a granddaughter.”
Chloe was bawling for real as she reached out to hug her.
Mima was crying a little bit too.
Ten
BRENT WOKE UP KNOWING that Chloe was gone.
He wasn’t sure how he knew. He hadn’t even opened his eyes, and he could still smell her on the sheets. But there was a part of him that could sense the difference, and he knew he wouldn’t see her when he sat up and looked around.
He was right.
Her room was exactly as he’d remembered it from the night before. His clothes littered the floor. Her overflowing laundry basket was still sitting in the middle of the room. The surfaces of her dresser and nightstand were covered with scarves and jewelry. A pair of high-heeled boots was sitting in the upholstered chair in the corner like they’d arrogantly claimed the best seat in the house.
But no Chloe.
She wasn’t in bed. She wasn’t in the bathroom—the door was open and the lights were off.
He climbed out of bed, pulled on his jeans, and went to look for her. It was just before seven in the morning on a Sunday. Chloe should be here.
It felt like something was wrong.
She wasn’t in the hallway. She wasn’t in his bedroom. He wasn’t sure why he even looked there, but he did.
He walked out into the main room of the apartment, and she wasn’t there either.
Michelle and Steve were sitting side by side at the counter bar. They both had cups of coffee, but Michelle wasn’t working on her laptop, and Steve wasn’t reading his newspaper. That alone triggered alarm bells. They weren’t normally up this early on Sundays.
Something was definitely wrong.
They both turned to look at him as he padded barefoot into the kitchen. They didn’t say anything.
Brent’s stomach twisted. “Where is she?”
“She went to her parents’ house,” Michelle said quietly. Her face was worried, and her eyes were big.
“Why?” Brent braced himself on the counter, hit with a wave of rising fear.
“
She was upset. She left last night.”
“Last night?” Brent closed his eyes and breathed, trying to make himself think clearly. He wasn’t usually an emotional person, so he wasn’t used to being bombarded by feelings this way. “What was she upset about? Does she know... does she know how I feel?”
“No.” It was Steve who answered this time. “From what we can figure out, it’s the opposite.”
Brent opened his eyes. “The opposite?”
“She thinks you don’t feel more for her,” Michelle explained. “I tried to get her to stay and talk to you, but she was too upset.”
“But why... what...” Brent tightened his hand on the corner of the counter. “She thinks I don’t feel... more?”
“That’s what she thinks.”
“But I thought she wanted things to just be casual. That’s what she said. That’s what we agreed to.”
“Well, maybe she’s changed her mind.”
It was too much. Too astonishing. Brent couldn’t process it.
Michelle went on, “So would you please drive over and talk to her? Right now. I know it’s hard for you to get things out, but you need to do it now. I can’t take any more relationship angst. Jill and Lucas took forever, and Steve and I took forever. You and Chloe can’t take forever to figure it out too. I just can’t deal with the stress. So please. Talk to her. Go now.”
Brent stared, trying to see clearly, make his mind work, his body work. He very slowly turned his head to look at Steve.
Steve nodded. “Get the words said. Whatever it takes. Get them said.”
Brent took a ragged breath. He’d never believed—not even for a minute—that Chloe would want to hear everything from him.
But surely Michelle and Steve wouldn’t be lying to him. They wouldn’t be leading him on. They weren’t mean people, and they cared about him.
So maybe...
“I know it’s a lot to process, but please hurry, Brent,” Michelle added. “I’m going crazy here.”
He made a weird choked sound and gave his head an abrupt nod. Then he turned on his heel and strode to the door, grabbing his keys and wallet on the way.
He was in his car and on his way over before he realized he hadn’t put on his shoes.
IT TOOK LESS THAN TEN minutes to reach Chloe’s parents’ house at this time on a Sunday morning, so it was barely quarter after seven when he was knocking on the front door.
It was kind of rude. To bang on someone’s door so early in the morning.
But he had to see Chloe, and she was here. There was nothing else he could do.
After a couple of minutes, her frowning mother opened the door. “What are you doing here at this time of day?” she demanded, not sounding very friendly.
“I’m sorry. I need to see Chloe.”
“Chloe?” Her eyes widened. “Why would she be here? Isn’t she in the apartment with you?”
For a moment Brent was afraid he’d made a big mistake, but then he realized he wasn’t mistaken. Michelle’s car was parked in the driveway. He could see it when he turned his head. “She’s here. She came over last night. Maybe she’s still in a room? She drove Michelle’s car over. It’s right there.” He gestured with his hand.
Chloe’s mother leaned over to look, and her face changed into surprise. “She must still be in her old room. Let me go look.”
Brent would have liked to come inside since it was chilly out this morning, but Chloe’s mother closed the door in his face.
A few minutes later, Chloe stepped outside. Her hair was messy, and her eyes were heavy, and she looked like she’d been crying.
Brent’s heart strained toward her. He made a pained sound. “Chloe.”
“What are you doing here, Brent?” she asked. “It’s early.”
“I know it’s early. I needed to talk to you. Now.”
“What about?” She crossed her arms in front of her chest in a protective stance.
Brent opened his mouth, but no words came out.
He fought the block in his throat, but he couldn’t get through it.
He felt like he was in kindergarten again, standing in front of his class. Completely exposed. Completely unable to perform even the most fundamental acts of communication.
He tried again, slammed with a wave of heat.
What if he told her and she didn’t want him? What if she felt sorry for him? What if he lost her from his life for good?
He tried again to speak but couldn’t.
Chloe waited for a couple of minutes, but then her face and her shoulders slumped. She let out a long breath and turned to walk back into the house.
She was leaving.
Leaving him.
He went cold with panic and burst out, “I love you!”
She froze. Then very slowly turned back around. “What did you say?” she whispered.
He could hardly see through the frenzied fear and emotion crashing inside him. He couldn’t read her expression. But the block in his throat had finally cleared, so he said again, “I love you.”
Chloe took a long, shuddering breath.
Afraid she was going to tell him she didn’t feel the same way, Brent continued in a clumsy ramble. “I know I’m not supposed to. We were supposed to keep it casual. I was okay with that. I really was. I never would have expected anything more from you. I never dreamed you’d want to even have sex with me. It was so amazing. I’d have remembered it all my life. But it’s not all I want from you. I told your Mima the truth yesterday about all the reasons I love you. I think I was crazy about you from that very first day when you burst into my life like the sunshine after the rain. And every day that followed made me want you even more. And when I got to know you for real, I loved you. I couldn’t help it. I do. And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I understand. You don’t have to feel bad. But Steve and Michelle made it seem like you were upset because you thought I didn’t... I didn’t care about you. And I couldn’t let you think that. Because I do. I love you more than anything.”
He ran out of breath, so he stopped talking.
Chloe was staring up at him, one of her hands covering her mouth like she was trying to hold something in.
Brent cleared his throat. “So that’s it. That’s everything. I finally... finally got it said.” He stared down at the concrete beneath his feet, almost dizzy with nerves. “You can... you can talk now. If you want.”
Chloe didn’t talk. She burst into tears and threw herself into his arms.
Brent had no idea what was happening—whether the tears were good or bad—but he wrapped his arms around her. If she was crying, then he was going to hold her. That was a core truth of the world.
After a minute, when she was still shaking and snuffling into his shirt, he murmured raggedly, “Chloe? Can you maybe... maybe tell me if this is good or bad?”
She made a sound between a giggle and a sob and pulled back from his chest. She was beaming through her tears. “It’s good!”
He choked on the words. “It’s good?”
“Yes. It’s good. I think... I’m pretty sure... I know for an absolute fact that I love you too!” She started crying into his shirt again.
Brent didn’t care. He held her as tightly as he could without hurting her.
It made no sense.
Absolutely no sense.
It wasn’t the way the world was supposed to work.
But he wasn’t going to question it. Not if she loved him back.
He was going to keep holding her and never let her go.
EVENTUALLY THEY HAD to go inside. Brent wasn’t wearing shoes, and it was cold out. They came up with some sort of explanation for Chloe’s mother, and when a smiling Mima came downstairs, she gave both of them big hugs, telling them she was proud of them and she knew they’d be very happy together.
Brent was in a disoriented daze of pure joy as he drove his Jeep back to the apartment with Chloe in Michelle’s car behind him.
They’d agreed to go to Ma
ss that morning with Chloe’s family, so they had to get dressed and ready to go. It didn’t seem right or fair that their romantic climax should be interrupted by the demands of everyday life, but there was no way around the fact. Their morning would be filled with responsibilities, but then they’d have all afternoon together.
They were holding hands as they walked into the apartment. Both of them stopped in surprise when they saw Steve and Michelle sitting in the same place they’d left them with Jill sitting there too.
“What are you doing here?” Chloe asked, looking at her friend.
“Michelle called to say something big was going on, so I came over to make sure everything was okay.” Jill’s eyes lingered on their clasped hands, and her pretty face broke into a smile. “So I guess it was a good thing going on?”
Chloe bubbled over with embarrassed laughter. “Uh. Yeah. A good thing.”
Brent gazed down at her happy, rosy face, and his heart expanded with emotion until it felt too big for his chest. He reached out and pulled her against him, wrapping her in a big hug.
Their friends all cheered and laughed, and then Chloe pulled away from him so she could hug her friends. Steve came over and pounded Brent on the back, and Michelle exclaimed loudly that she was relieved that he and Chloe had managed to get together without weeks of stress and angst.
Chloe said that was because Brent might not be the most talkative of people, but he was better at relationships than any guy she’d ever known.
For some reason her fond praise went deep and lodged in his heart. He’d always felt clueless with women, but maybe he’d done okay with Chloe.
Maybe he could keep doing okay with her—for as long as she’d let him.
A COUPLE OF MONTHS later, Brent woke up on a Saturday morning before it was light outside.
He wasn’t sure why he’d woken up. Today was one of the days he was allowed to sleep in, but his eyes opened and his mind started working in a way that prevented him from drifting back to sleep.
Chloe was asleep beside him, curled up in a little ball on her side.