by Quinn Loftis
“This is going to be hilarious, isn’t it?” Elle asked.
Jen nodded. “It is. It really is.”
Fifteen minutes later, Jen was tapping her toe and no doubt mentally fighting with her mate.
“I’m not wearing this.” Fane’s voice filled Jacque’s mind.
“That bad?”
“Ridiculous.”
“You did dye her kid blue,” she reminded him.
“Maybe it was for a good reason. Maybe we did it to save Thia’s life.”
Jacque snorted. “Sure you did. Just come down and get it over with.”
“She plans on taking pictures. There will be no ‘getting this over with’ because it will be immortalized in photographic form for all time.”
“Wow, wolf-man, you are being seriously dramatic.”
A minute later, her mate walked into the room. The pissed-off face he wore only made the whole thing even more hilarious. Jen had gotten the males reindeer outfits, complete with antlers, hooves, and a harness covered in bells. The eight other males followed a few seconds later, bells jingling as they walked. It was not a happy jingle sound, more like the procession of a Christmas elf funeral.
Jacque tried hard, she really did, but there was just no holding in the laughter that bubbled up out of her like a shaken Coke. The outfits were beyond outrageous, but it was the pissed-off faces of the males that made it complete.
“Perfect!” Jen clapped her hands together, and Thia joined her, also stomping her feet in excitement.
“Woodolf,” Thia giggled as she pointed at her daddy.
Decebel wasn’t holding a red nose in his hand. It was Fane. Jacque hadn’t noticed because he’d been clenching and unclenching his fists.
“You guys look, um, well…” Zara stumbled as she tried to compose herself, but it was useless. All of the females were coughing and trying to keep it together, well, except Bethany. Her big, pregnant belly was shaking as she laughed and pointed at her mate. He did not seem nearly as amused.
“Okay, let’s head out to the sleigh and we’ll get you guys harnessed up,” Jen said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world to have your mate dress up as a reindeer and get hooked up to a sleigh.
“Harnessed up?” Gavril growled.
“It’s for the kids,” Rachel told him, her voice sweet and her eyes doe-eyed and pleading. Gavril huffed but didn’t say anything else.
“I want it to be known that I highly object to this, and I’m only doing it because it’s easier than arguing,” Lucian grumbled.
“And you know your mate would just snap her little fingers and make whatever she put on you even more hilarious.” Adam chuckled. He seemed less bothered than the other males, then again, he’d be able to change his clothes with just a thought as soon as Jen was done torturing them.
After a pissing contest—not a literal one, thank the Great Luna—and many threats from Peri, simply because she was enjoying this even more than Jen, all the males were on all fours in rows of two. Except for Fane, who got to be at the front of the pack, with his shiny red nose in place. Peri helped things along by magicking on the harnesses they each held and then attaching them to one another. Jacque was pretty sure the high fae also used some sort of spell that kept them from being able to crawl away, though they could move their bodies, just not from that spot.
Jacque hadn’t missed the fact that none of the guys said a thing about the beautiful sleigh. Her own mate’s head was filled of all the ways he was going to torture Jen, so he hadn’t had time to notice.
“Okay, kids in the sleigh,” Jen said.
Jacque walked over and waited until Titus, who was also giggling, and Thia, who was once again singing “Jingle Hells,” were seated and then put Slate in between them. “Titus, can you make sure he doesn’t slip off?” Jacque asked.
“I got it, Aunt Jacque,” he said as he wrapped an arm around Slate and tucked him close to his side. Slate’s eyes were wide with wonder as his hands ran over the soft white blankets they were sitting on. He was dressed in a little red and green suit that matched Titus’s, complete with Christmas plaid bow ties. While Thia’s dress was red with white fur trim all around it.
WhenJacque stepped back to take in the full sight before her, she lost it. Like full-on, body bending over, stomach grabbing, barely able to breathe, lost it. She laughed so hard she thought for sure she was going to pee on herself. She wasn’t the only one.
Sally stood next to her trying to speak around her own laughter. “I’m pretty sure this is the best thing she’s ever come up with.”
Jacque nodded. “The best.”
The looks on the males' faces, all except Wadim, who seemed to be taking his duty as a reindeer very seriously, and Adam, who really didn’t seem to give a crap, ranged from sort of annoyed to down-right pissed.
“Peri, camera,” Jen called as she held out her hand.
Peri sighed. “You do realize I’m not an online store with instant shipping, right?”
“Nope.” Jen snapped her fingers.
A camera suddenly appeared in her hand, and Jen immediately brought it to her face. “Okay, Blitzer, Donald, Ruddy, Comic-con,” she began calling out.
“Those aren’t the reindeer names,” Zara pointed out, tears streaming down her face from laughing.
“Don’t care,” Jen sang. “They’re my reindeer bitches. Their names are whatever I call them.”
“Jennifer!” Decebel growled, nearly a full-on snarl.
“It’s for our daughter, B.” Jen began snapping photos. “Just think of how happy she is. Can’t you hear her giggling?”
“She won’t even remember it,” her mate pointed out.
“Oh, she’ll remember it, because every Christmas there will be a wall dedicated to this awesome display of Christmas cheer.”
“Do we look cheerful to you?” Costin spoke up for the first time.
“You look adorable,” Sally told him through snorted laughter.
“Okay, I need y’all to really get into character. Be the reindeer.” Jen bent and leaned and turned her camera this way and that. “Feel the reindeer. Seek out the inner reindeer that lives inside of you.”
“If you say ‘reindeer’ one more time, I’m going to spit on you,” Drake snapped.
“Wrong hooved animal, babe,” Bethany said. “You’re thinking of a camel. It’s no wonder you look awkward. You’re in camel mode.”
“Exactly.” Jen pointed at Bethany. “You can’t be in camel mode and understand the uniqueness of the Christmas reindeer. You’ve got to really think of what it must be like for them to feel the excitement of delivering toys to kids the world over. Let’s get some hoof stomping going on, and a little snorting wouldn’t hurt, either.”
“How’s this? Is this getting into character enough?” Costin raised his leg to the side, looking very much like a wolf marking his territory.
“Wrong animal again.” Bethany shook her head. “Reindeer don’t hike a leg up to pee. You’re in mutt mode.”
“Regardless, thank you, Costin.” Jen wasn’t a bit deterred. “I got that. It was perfect. It’ll look amazing hanging on the reindeer wall.”
Costin dropped his leg and let out a string of curses.
Through the whole thing, Jacque’s mate stood stoic, on all fours, attempting to look as dignified as an alpha wolf dressed up in a Rudolph costume could possibly look.
After Jen had gotten as many pictures as she felt necessary, she said, “Okay, now I need some live action. Start pulling the slei—” She didn’t get very far into her instructions when Fane snarled. “Perizada!”
“Oh, dear,” Peri muttered. “I think the alpha is done.”
“Stick a fork in him,” Crina muttered.
“Sorry, Jen, but you just got outranked.” Peri snapped her fingers. All nine males were upright and dressed in regular clothes. Well, sort of regular. They had on jeans, but each of them was wearing a Christmas sweater. Not the ugly ones, just Christmas plaids.
Jen glared at Peri. “Chicken.”
The fae chuckled. “I could make you look like Mrs. Claus, complete with the plumpness that comes from her cookie and hot chocolate diet.”
“That’s a wrap,” Jen said quickly. She wound a finger in the air and then gathered up Thia.
Jacque grinned and picked up Slate. “I think you should do it,” Jacque told Peri.
Sally smiled while she helped Titus from the sleigh. “Agreed.”
Peri sighed. “I’ll think about it, but I have to weigh the consequences of listening to her gripe for the next three centuries.”
“You think she’ll make it three centuries?” Jacque’s brow raised.
“Seriously.” Sally shook her head as they walked toward the front door. “I love Jen, but one day she’s going to piss off the wrong supernatural and her ass is going to be grass.”
“Technically, it’s already been grass a couple of times. But she’s like a weed. She just keeps coming back,” Jacque noted.
Peri nodded. “Exactly. Three centuries is probably not generous enough.”
As they stepped inside the mansion, Jacque sat Slate down. The boy took off crawling like his butt was on fire. Thankfully, Titus loved chasing the little guy, so Jacque didn’t have to run after him. “You do realize she’s going to ask you to develop those photos now, don’t you?” Sally asked Peri.
“That’s okay. I’ll let it slide this time, simply because I know those pictures are going to be hilarious.”
Jacque felt arms come around her from behind. Her mate’s scent enveloped her, along with his irritation. “You owe me,” he whispered in her ear.
“Me?” Jacque turned her head so she could look up at him. “I didn’t force you to wear the Rudolph costume.”
“You laughed at me.” He huffed.
Jacque smiled up at him. “Would it help if I told you that you’re the sexiest Rudolph I’ve ever seen?”
“So, reindeer are your thing?” he asked, a slight smirk on his handsome face.
“They totally do it for me.”
“Well, I hope you got enough of a kick out of that because I’m never wearing it again.”
Jacque’s lips turned up slightly, and she ran her nails across his forearm. “What if I make it worth your while?”
“You’re sexy as hell, Luna. But I don’t need a Rudolph costume to get you on your back.” He pressed a kiss to her neck and then released her.
Jacque was left standing there with her jaw hanging open while she watched her mate swagger off as if he hadn't just been decked out with the rest of his pack in silly reindeer costumes.
“Why do you look like you’re about to jump your man’s bones?” Bethany stepped up next to Jacque.
“Because even after looking like that”—she motioned over her shoulder back toward where the sleigh was sitting outside—“he’s still as confident as a male who hadn’t just been dressed up like Santa’s nightlight.”
Bethany snorted. “You can put the wolf in a reindeer costume, but you can’t take the alpha out of him.”
Jacque laughed. “That made no sense.”
“I’m pregnant. I don’t have to make sense.”
Jacque held up her hand for a high five. “True.”
“Let’s go see if Peri’s got the pictures. Jen will want them up on a wall ASAP.” Jacque grabbed Bethany’s hand and pulled her toward the voices filling the kitchen.
As they passed the main living area, she saw all the males sitting. Oddly enough, their grumpy faces were gone, and they were talking and joking. Maybe Adam had given them more fairy juice. After what Jen had just put them through, they deserved any kind of buzz they could get.
“Damn straight,” Fane muttered through the bond, though most of the irritation was gone, and he was beginning to seem more amused by the whole thing.
When Bethany and Jacque entered the main living area, the one wall was covered in a huge red curtain that had not been there before.
“You’ve already got them hung?” Jacque asked Jen, who was staring up at the red curtain as if it was a precious child. Maybe in Jen’s twisted mind, it was.
“I’m good like that.” Peri brushed invisible lint from her shoulders.
Jen looked over at Jacque. “We will unveil them at the Christmas celebration.”
Jacque’s eyes widened. “Ahh, ookay. That’s not going to be awkward or humiliating for the males at all.”
“Smurf girl. They turned my daughter into a Smurf girl.”
“Buuut, they didn’t get any pictures of it,” Sally pointed out.
“Which means I win.” Jen stuck her nose in the air, obviously proud of herself.
“You do realize that not everything is a competition, right?” Crina asked.
“Keep telling yourself that, fae lover, but expect to lose at everything in life.”
“Wow, that escalated really fast.” Zara’s eyes widened.
“That’s pretty much Jen’s m.o..” Jacque nodded. “She goes from friendly to ‘I’ll slit your throat’ in about two point five seconds.”
“Speaking of two point five seconds…” Jen glanced at her watch. “We need to pick up the cakes.”
“What does two point five seconds have to do with picking up cakes?” Sally asked.
Jen shrugged. “I don’t know. I just needed a segue to a new conversation.” She turned to Peri and Elle, who were sitting on the couch munching on popcorn and watching everyone else as if they were a television show. “Can you two take all of us? There’s quite a few cakes to bring back.”
Suddenly the popcorn was gone and the two fae were up, holding out their arms. “We live to serve,” Peri said dryly.
“What is it you’re serving? B.S.?” Zara asked.
Jacque snorted.
“I like you, history boy’s mate,” said Peri. “And because I like you, I will refrain from actually putting B.S. in your cute little pie hole.”
“I’d like to just throw it out there that I am appreciative of your self-control.” Zara eased over to where Elle stood and laid a hand on one of her outstretched arms.
Bethany was just about to grab Peri’s hand when her mate appeared out of nowhere. He swept her up into his arms—awesome werewolf strength—and strode from the room. “You seriously thought you were going to leave the bloody country without me?” Jacque heard Drake’s voice as they disappeared around the corner.
“She left the bond open.” Sally motioned to where the couple had just been.
“Amateur mistake.” Jacque nodded.
“Everyone on?” Jen asked.
“We are not a damn amusement park ride.” Peri’s eyes flashed with irritation.
“What kind of ride are you?” Jen’s voice was ripe with suggestion.
“Would anyone be too upset if Jennifer suddenly developed laryngitis?” Peri asked just before she flashed them from the mansion.
Chapter 10
“On the tenth day of Christmas my werewolf gave to me ten Jen cakes, nine werewolves prancing, eight laughing females, seven perfect kisses, six packs of Oreos, five satisfied smiles, four hours of hotness, three growling males, two cursing pups, and a furball in a fir tree.” ~Jen
“But really. Just wait. I can’t even.” ~Sally
“I thought you ladies were just going to pick up cakes,” Costin said to Sally through their bond.
“That was the original plan,” she agreed. “But the cakes weren’t all done, so we figured we’d do some Christmas shopping while we were out.”
“And you have so much Christmas shopping to do that you won’t be home until tomorrow?”
Sally did not miss the displeasure in her mate’s voice. “Peri and Elle will have us back in the blink of an eye. Literally.”
“Costin is not happy about this impromptu shopping trip,” Sally said as they stood at the entrance to a huge mall in Dallas, Texas.
“Neither is Decebel. When he asked me why the cakes had to be from Dallas, I told him ‘Because everythi
ng is bigger in Texas, duh.’”
Sally rolled her eyes. She should have seen that one coming.
All the girls spoke at once, expressing their own mates’ responses, which were all something along the lines of ‘What the hell are you doing in Texas?’, and then all of the females laughed.
“To be fair,” Jacque said, “we’d be mad if they decided to stay overnight in a different country without talking to us about it first.”
“Who said anything about being fair?” Peri folded her arms across her chest.
“Wadim keeps pointing out that we don’t have to stay the night since we have flashing fae that could bring us back in an instant,” Zara said.
A brow on Elle’s forehead rose. “He makes us sound like strippers.”
“That can be arranged,” Jen offered.
“Sally-mine.” Costin’s voice in her mind drew her attention from the group. “No stripping.”
She mentally scoffed. “Did you just mistake me for Decebel’s mate?”
“I’m also talking about strip clubs. The male variety,” he growled. “Or female. Or any variety for that matter.”
“What other varieties are there?”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “But I don’t want you to find out.”
“How did you go from Christmas shopping to strip clubs in a matter of minutes?”
“The same way everything goes to stripping when Jen is involved.”
Sally shrugged a shoulder. “You got me there.”
“Please, be safe.” His voice was tight with the worry she could feel coming through their bond. Her mate still had a hard time being away from her, and she understood why, but she also knew that she couldn’t be attached to his hip. It wouldn’t be healthy for either of them.
“My hip disagrees, as does my wolf,” he grumbled.
“I’ll be safe. Give Titus a hug and kiss for me. I love you. I’ll keep the bond wide open.” Sally waited to see what he would say. After nearly a minute—she’d counted—he finally responded.
“If anything feels off, even a little, promise me Peri and Elle will bring you back immediately.”