His words sounded flat to Caroline; however, she was not the person her husband had been, one who found only the bad in people. No, she was better than he, and this was how she would prove it.
***
Once the door to the office was closed, Caroline turned back to Neil, and though he smiled, she did not return it. Two months earlier the man had put his hands on her, had tried to force a kiss upon her. Although she had done nothing to influence the man, she had been left humiliated and with a feeling of defilement, and she refused to be forced to feel that way again.
“What is it you want?” she demanded before he was able to speak. She offered him no seat and he did not request one. “Who is that man and how do you know him?”
“If I may tell you a story,” he said, “then perhaps you will understand.” Was that humility she heard? It could not be, for the man did not know the meaning of humble.
“If you must,” she said in a curt tone.
He sighed. “There was once a boy who grew up in the shadow of his brother. This boy mimicked every move his brother made, for the brother had everything the boy ever wanted. In the process, that boy grew to be a cold, twisted man, overcome with lust for money.”
Caroline raised an eyebrow at him. If he expected sympathy, the man would be waiting for a very long time for it.
“It was when the older brother died that the younger thought to gain both title and wealth for himself. However, as days passed, he began to think. For forty of his fifty years he had sought wealth and land, yet he was not happy. He soon began to realize all the wrong he had done in his life, and he felt sick from it.”
“And what does this have to do with me?” Caroline asked, not believing a man could change so much in such a short amount of time. “And what of this Lord Mullens?”
“Mullens had come to settle some business affairs with me, affairs that included both Reginald and myself. When he learned what his sister had been up to…”
“His sister?” Caroline asked, mortified.
“Indeed. Mary French, or so she had come to call herself, is actually Miss Mary Mullens.”
Caroline grimaced. The woman was the sister of a Baron? How humiliating that had to be for poor Lord Mullens to learn that his sister had been mistress to a duke. “Go on,” she said, smoothing her face once more.
“As you can imagine, he was irate when he learned how his sister had been behaving. When he spoke to me about it, I realized that I felt shame, as well. Shame for standing by and watching it happen, for encouraging it, and for remaining silent. Lord Mullens is twenty years my younger but has shown to be far wiser than I.” He sighed. “I say all this to express two things. First, I want to apologize for my actions and words toward you over the years you were married to my brother; they were reprehensible.”
A frost in her veins began to melt, and she began to see this man in a different light. Did not everyone deserve a second chance?
“I forgive you,” she said. Forgiveness did not mean she would forget, but that she kept to herself.
He released held breath. “Thank you,” he whispered. “The second thing I wish to say is this. With Reginald now gone and with no children of my own, Oliver is all I have left. I will never set foot in your house again, but grant me once a fortnight to come and see him. If only for a few minutes.” The man lowered his head as if in that diffidence that seemed so strange on him.
Caroline could only stand in shock. Could this man have changed so drastically? She had already forgiven him his transgressions. Was she ready to allow him to influence Oliver, as well? How she wished Philip was by her side, for he would know how to guide her.
She walked over to the window and watched Philip and Oliver, their heads together as they peered down at a budding daisy. She could ask him to come inside, but did she not need to make her own decisions? She was the Dowager Duchess, and she was in charge of her son’s upbringing. What did she know of being a man with a title and the responsibilities that went with that station? Indeed, what did Philip know of such things?
Glancing over at Neil, she made a decision. “You may come by and see him, but know that I will be close by. Trust is earned, never given.”
Neil raised his head and smiled broadly. “Thank you,” he said. “I will wait in the carriage for Lord Mullens.” He gave her another deep bow, this one deserving of a member of the royal family, and went to walk out the door.
Letting out a sigh, Caroline called him back. “Neil, wait,” she said, hoping she was not making a huge mistake. “Please, join us in the sitting room.”
Chapter Ten
Tea had been served, and the conversation was pleasant enough; although Caroline could not shake the strange feeling of being in the presence of a Neil Hayward who was quiet and attentive. Yet, it was not only his silence she found unsettling but the way he seemed to absorb every word Lord Mullens had to say.
“Once Neil informed me that my holdings were now split between himself and you,” Lord Mullens was saying, “I must admit that the idea excited me.”
“How so?” Caroline asked carefully as she hid her suspicions behind the teacup she brought to her lips.
“To be perfectly honest, I have never done business with a woman before, much less a Duchess. It is an honor of which I had heard but have never thought I would ever experience.”
Neil snorted. “Women have no head for business,” he said. “It is not the way nor will it ever be. Why would anyone believe that it would?” Then his eyes went wide as he looked at Caroline. “I mean…that is…besides you, of course.”
Caroline suppressed a laugh. There was the man that lived behind that face. “Of course.”
Lord Mullens smiled at her. “You are right, Neil. It has not been the way of things. Yet, those ways are changing, are they not? I have seen more women open their own businesses—millineries and such—and they are quite successful. It is imperative that we men change with them, for if we do not, I fear a lady such as the Dowager Duchess here will be ruling over us all and we will end up working for her!”
Caroline did laugh at this. Although she had only known the man for an hour, she found his company more than enjoyable. A man with title and wealth who was still kind? She would never have believed it if she had not seen it for herself.
Neil sighed. “I suppose you are right. Still, I do not understand it all.”
“You will learn soon enough, my friend,” Lord Mullens said as he stood. “Now, shall we leave the Duchess alone or continue to bore her with our stories?”
Caroline set her teacup aside and stood. She was surprised that she was sad to see Lord Mullens leave. “Oh, you are not boring me at all,” she said. “I find your stories fascinating. I do look forward to doing business with you in the future.”
Neil shook his head as he made his way to the door, but Caroline ignored him. It took much for a tiger to change his stripes.
Lord Mullens leaned in and lowered his voice. “Give him time,” he whispered. “His stubbornness is great, but he is making progress.”
Caroline smiled. “I will,” she promised, and found she meant it. “Perhaps it is time to bury the hatchet, as they say.”
“Indeed,” the man replied. “If I may be so bold. When I come to collect Mary in two weeks’ time from your brother-in-law’s home, may I call on you so we might continue our conversation?”
A wave of thoughts rushed through her, tumbling one over the other at once, causing her head to pound. Fear set upon her in reaction to the manner in which Reginald had treated her whenever she spoke to another man. Yet, her husband was no longer alive to chastise or punish her. Furthermore, the man calling upon her for conversation was in no way a wrongdoing.
Then there was her concern for Philip. She could not risk falling for another man while she had promised to wait for him. Then again, this man was not asking to court her but rather to simply call by and have conversation with her. What was the harm in that?
Her hesitation must hav
e seeped through, for Lord Mullens said, “I forget my place. I should not have been so forward. It has been an honor to make your acquaintance.” He gave her a low bow and clapped Neil on the back. “Come, my friend, we have much to discuss about the future.”
With a relieved smile, Caroline walked the two men to the door. When they were gone, she shut the door and let out a sigh. Lord Mullens had mentioned the future and women being a part of it, and she found an excitement at the idea.
Yet, although she knew she would have a happy future no matter what path she took, the only way it could be complete was if Philip was by her side. She could not have denied that if she tried.
***
Caroline sat alone in her rooms, rooms that had once belonged to the Duke himself. He had taken the most opulent rooms for himself, of course, leaving Caroline with a tiny room in the attic. Once, he had shared these with her, but only until she conceived. Then she was sent away.
She was not one to wish for more than she had. Life had been difficult when she was young; her parents struggled to make ends meet and to put food on the table. However, they at least loved her. Sharing a room with four other siblings had been a challenge, to say the least, but she would have given everything to return to those days after what she had endured once she was wed.
Now, the largest rooms were hers, and despite the pettiness of her pleasure in having what Reginald had once denied her, she did enjoy them. The bed had been replaced—she would not sleep upon a bed her husband had shared with another woman—as had the heavy oak drawers and wardrobe. Instead, she had purchased all new furniture that suited her far better than the masculine and oppressive pieces the Duke had utilized.
A sound in the small sitting room that led to the hallway made her turn. Then there was a light tap on the frame of the door she had left open.
“Caroline?” Philip called from the other room. “You sent for me?”
“I did,” she replied. “Come here. I want to show you something.”
The man peeked into the bedroom, clearly uncomfortable with entering her bedchamber, which amused her greatly. He was her protector! What if she was set upon by someone in this very room? Would she die because of his disquiet?
“What is it?” he asked as he came to stand beside her at the window.
He was tense in his dark blue tailcoat and tan trousers, and she wondered if his discomfort came from being in her room or from wearing clothes with which he was unaccustomed. However, the clothing did not appear strange on him as it might on another servant given clothes they were not used to wearing. He wore his new attire with aplomb.
“Do you remember what happened down there only a few months ago?” she asked.
He glanced out the window. “I do. You were pulling weeds from the garden, tilling the soil with your hands. Suffering for sins you did not commit.”
“Yes,” Caroline replied with a sigh. “As I toiled, tearing my hands, I looked up to this very window. Miss French—or should I say Miss Mullens—sneered down at me. Then Reginald was kissing her before leading her away from the window, presumably to his bed.”
Philip remained quiet, for which Caroline was relieved.
“I often thought about what I would say to the woman if I ever saw her again,” Caroline continued. “What I would say to her. What I would do to her. None of it was congenial. I thought that doing so would bring about relief and therefore ease the pain of that day. However, once given the chance, I found I could not do those horrid things. What I felt for the woman when I saw her today was pity.” She turned her gaze toward Philip. “Then, my husband’s brother, a man who treated me with utter disrespect and such brashness I had him thrown out of my house, he requests to spend time with my son. And I agree! Am I a fool?”
Philip gazed down at her. “You are no fool,” he replied. “You are a kind woman with a good heart and mind. What you went through for all those years still lingers inside you; the pain is still evident.”
Caroline nodded her agreement. Releasing her hurt and anger was not an easy task, and she still suffered bouts of anxiety and fear. However, she had become stronger, and she attributed that to the man beside her.
“As to Miss French,” he continued, “the woman was in the wrong; there is no doubt about that. Let her go her own way, for her path is twisted. You must find your happiness from within, not in the actions of others.”
She smiled at him. “How is it that my protector is so wise?” she asked.
“You are wise, but you doubt yourself.”
His words were sensible, and he was correct in what he said. However, she could not shake that doubt of which he spoke.
“And what of Neil?” she asked. “I cannot help but think that he is still scheming in some way. He tried to kiss me not two months ago. Now, he pleads ignorance and a desire to change his ways?” She let out a sigh. “I am unsure as to what to do.”
Her mind and soul were filled with a heavy foreboding she could not shake. Every time she thought of Neil, she then thought of Reginald. He would have been infuriated with the situation, and somehow he still held onto a small part of her deep inside. Too often, she could hear him screaming at her from the other side of the door, flinging insults at her and belittling her.
But no. He was dead and buried, and she had to release the ghost that held over her that bit of fear. If she did not, she truly would go mad.
Then Philip placed a hand on her arm, and all the fear, all the anxiety, disappeared. It was as if he had magic in his being, a magic that wiped away everything bad and replaced it with good.
“You are wise to keep him close,” Philip said. “Follow your instincts and your heart and allow them to guide you. For when the heart leads, only goodness can follow. That which is not good shall be cast aside.”
Caroline smiled. His words were as comforting as his touch, and she wished to embrace him, to have him hold her. Yet, she knew that could not happen, not now, anyway. But one day, he would be healed from his own pain, just as she would be healed from hers, and until then, she would accept his wise counsel and allow her heart to guide her. Good things, such as Philip, would remain.
Chapter Eleven
Philip looked down over the gardens from the library window, watching as Neil walked beside Oliver. The man had been by twice to see the boy over the past month, and Philip could not have been more pleased. For without the man, his plans would have been forfeit.
When the Duke had died, Philip had lamented. Not for the man’s death, of course, for the man was cruel and heartless in every way, but rather for the dissolution of the scheme he had mapped out much too carefully. Then, when Caroline had pushed Neil away, as well, he thought all had been lost.
He had spent too much time crafting his plan to change course now, which began with gaining employment at Blackwood Estates and finding his place amongst the servants. He had to observe from afar, thus why he had not attempted to work within the house. Too much could be seen, much he wished to keep hidden, if he had remained so close.
It was not difficult to allow his imagination to go off gallivanting on its own, for once his plan was executed, Philip would finally find peace in the destruction he had caused. An old grievance would be made right, and he would be free to move on with his life. The deception he had to use was regretful, but it was also necessary.
He smiled as he heard movement behind him. “Although your footsteps have become quieter,” he said without turning, “your breathing gives you away, as do your skirts.”
Caroline laughed and came to stand at his side.
“Will I ever be able to take you by surprise?” she asked with amusement.
He turned to her. His eyes had never lied to him, and therefore there was no doubt that the woman who stood before him was a beautiful creature. Her hair had been pinned back, tiny curls left to ring her heart-shaped face. He tried to ignore how her dress accentuated her slim waist and ample bosom, and he had to force back the desire to pull her into his arms and
kiss her—forever if he could.
However, that would have to wait for now; for after his plan was complete. Too much was at stake to gamble for a single kiss, no matter how extraordinary it might have been.
“Perhaps one day you will,” he said, pushing the huskiness from his voice. He turned back to look out the window, if only to keep from looking at her any longer than was necessary. “The two seem happy together,” he said with a lift of his chin to indicate he spoke of Neil and Oliver.
“Yes, they do,” she replied. “Neil truly has changed since Reginald’s passing, and I believe his influence over the boy will be good.” She turned toward him. “He has invited Oliver and me to dinner in a week’s time, though I wonder if it is moving too quickly. Although he has shown he has changed, I cannot calm that tiny ball of fear that still resides inside me.”
“I believe you should go,” Philip replied, though he cringed when he realized he had blurted out the words.
“I have never seen you so enthusiastic,” Caroline teased. “Tell me, why do you wish me to go? Do you want to see me away from home…and away from you?” She looked up at him through her lashes, and if he did not know her as well as he did, he would have suspected that she was flirting with him. However, that could not be so, for they had decided, together, that they would remain only friends.
“Not at all,” he said, doing his best to rectify the situation. “It will be good to mend old ties, and I have always wanted to see his estate.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Oh, you assume you will be going with us? Has my protector now taken over my scheduling?”
His heart raced. Had he overstepped? Would everything now be lost because he had been hasty and had spoken out of turn? But no. The smile on her lips belied the severe tone of her words.
He relaxed and replied, “I cannot lie. That is my plan.”
She laughed, that glorious set of dancing crystals on a chime. Then she said, “Very well, then. I will tell Neil that we accept.”
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