“I’m sorry, that probably sounded callous and cruel.”
“No, I wasn’t thinking about that, I was thinking about that dorky friend he had that was always following him around. Do you remember that guy? Horrible acne, kind of heavy, super socially awkward? He got a boner every time you walked into a room?”
I stood in between the two rooms, shaking my head. “I don’t. I really don’t remember much of anything other than studying,” I laugh, but I’m still stumped.
“Hmm, anyway. Coke, grab me a Coke, please.”
“K,” was all I said as I walked into the kitchen.
“So, did you guys work out a game plan with the lawyers?” Alex yells to me.
“Yeah, I mean, they pretty much think the case will either be thrown out or be dropped, because apparently, it is only really being pushed because of Carter’s folks,” I yell back, rummaging through the fridge for snacks.
“Yuck! That makes me sick, as if they could bury their head anymore!”
“Right!” I nod, coming back into the room with a Coke and some grapes in hand. “I know they believe that he was ‘sick’ but he attacked me and I just can’t feel bad for him!”
Alex sits, staring at me shaking her head with a small smile.
“What?!” I ask, feeling self-conscious.
“Nothing, it’s just weird to be having this conversation, I mean like a year ago, you tried to off yourself, Mia. Now, though, you have had a cavalcade of effed up situations happen and you seem so strong, so solid. I’m just happy, impressed and really grateful to have you back, babe!”
I smile back at her, understanding exactly what she means. A year ago, I was broken, so broken and unable to see past my pain. Not really understanding why I felt so damn alone and fragile. I couldn’t have known it then, but I needed Cole like I need him now. I didn’t know I was missing a piece until I lost him, and the absence of that piece almost shattered my life. I am glad that I could crawl out of the abyss on my own, because I’m stronger for it. But needing Cole and wanting Cole are intertwined and equal.
“I’m happy to be back,” is all I can muster, feeling overwhelmed by the moment. Really, it’s the only truth that is needed. So many people stood by me and helped me put myself back together, but I know that I’ve never been more together than I am now.
“Welp, now that that is out of the way, I have Sunday errands to run. I would love to hang out all day, but it’s my only day off this week and I need to do a thousand things before I go back tomorrow.” With that, Alex stands and goes for her purse.
“Call me tomorrow. Maybe lunch later this week?”
“Totally!” She smiles and waves over her shoulder.
“Tell Foster we say ‘hello.’” Cole smiles as he passes her, Alex’s wave turns to the bird. I giggle. Turning back around to Cole, he’s gone. Well, I guess more work beckons.
We tried to pretend we were just hanging out at home for the afternoon, but we were both tense from being locked away in our tower, hiding from the flashing bulbs and reality. I couldn’t help but notice that Cole had been hidden away in his office for most of the day and while I didn’t have my interview until next week (or ever, now with all the publicity, I wouldn’t be surprised if they passed on me), I was starting to run out of windows to look out of. Fuck this, I needed to get out of this house. How hard could that be, right?
“Hey!” I said, popping my head into Cole’s office only to be greeted by a grumble. “Come on, let’s escape. You have to be running out of people to yell at and I’m crawling up the walls. Last time I watched Law and Order, criminals are only restricted from leaving the country. Let’s call Foster and sneak away!” I smile, knowing I’ve made the best proposal.
The crack of his palms on the desk makes me jump and my eyes grow wide.
“Jokes aren’t welcome. Why are you making light of this, of everything? What the fuck, Mia!”
Looking at him, I don’t even understand what the hell is happening. What could he be mad about? I’ve barely spoken to him since Alex left.
“What the hell, Cole, why are you yelling at me?”
“Forget it, sorry, whatever, just forget it.” Obviously, something is going on that he doesn’t want me to know, which just serves to light a serious fire under my bum.
“No, no, no. You started this shit with all the pounding and yelling. Don’t backtrack and act like nothing is going on. This is just as much my problem as it is yours and last time I checked, Cole Parker, there aren’t any secrets between us, so spill.” Boom. I cross my arms over my chest, narrowing my eyes at him.
Shaking his head, he rubs his chin that has a sexable amount of stubble. He levels his eyes at me, “Here’s some truth, Mia. When were you going to tell me you tried to kill yourself? Never? In the future? I mean, you would think that a truth of that size would be something I would know.”
Oh Jesus, realization dawns on me that we have never had that conversation and he must have heard Alex and I talking. I uncross my arms and walk over to where he’s sitting and straddle his waist.
“Cole,” I urge, putting my hands on the sides of his face. “Look at me, I’m fine. I guess it just didn’t come up because honestly I was just so caught up with how happy we are and I haven’t thought about that time in my life.”
Grabbing my waist, he heaves me up and onto his desk and stands, backing away from me. Confused, I look at him, trying to look him in the eyes, all the while he avoids my face.
“Cole. What are you doing? Let’s talk about this, let’s go somewhere and hide away and really talk about this.”
“No. Foster will be here in five minutes, pack what you need and go with him. I can’t do this. I won’t.”
Time literally feels like it’s stopping. “What are you talking about? You are what, exactly? Sending me away? Breaking up with me?” I yell as I jump off the desk and walk to get in his face.
“I just need you safe, Mia, you don’t need this shit.
None of it! It was my fault we went to the party in the first place. I’m the one who wanted to keep the wedding private because of a business deal that I wanted to close before my announcement. I was being a selfish ass and I ruined your whole life. And now, now I know that because of me, you almost took your life, too!” His voiced is laced with frantic energy and he wipes his hand through his hair with a look of panic. My instinct is to make him happy, to calm him. I can do that for him. I can give that to him, even if it breaks my heart. I mean we just started…
“Okay. You’re right, I’ll go. Please Cole, please just calm down. You don’t need this stress. Will you call me later?”
“Yes,” he breaths out, taking a long breath in. “I just need to know that I can make it all clean for you. I don’t ever want you to hate your life so much that you wouldn’t value it.”
If ever I had an opportunity to make him understand, now was it. Slowly, I walk over to him, taking his hands and staring into his eyes. This was my home and I’ll be damned if his fear would cause us to separate.
Considering my words carefully, I begin. “The day I did it was particularly difficult. I was struggling with just assimilating back into my life. School was a disaster and graduation seemingly grim. My days seemed to run together and I had been tuning people out for months. The depression was evident, but being inside was different. I didn’t see the sorrow, I just welcomed the silence. I was so tired of talking about it, so tired of hearing the sympathy in everyone’s voices. Everyone just seemed to look at me with pitiful eyes and I honestly just felt like I would never be able to feel what it was like for someone to really see me again. Like me, the real me, deep inside. I was afraid I’d never be seen again. It felt worse than what I considered death would be like, so I took a handful of pills, immediately panicked and puked, called Alex… and lived. Even after all of it, I wasn’t truly alive until a year later, until you looked at me again. I’m only alive because of you, Cole, please don’t make me go back to living without you.”
He just
stands, looking into my eyes, looking into my soul.
“You aren’t crying,” he cocks his head to the side as if he’s trying to figure me out.
“Nope, because I’m not fragile, so long as I’m with you,” I grin up at him.
“That sounds very anti-feminist,” he says. God, I love that sideways grin.
“I know how much power I have, I know I could make it through anything alone, but together… Cole, together, we are limitless. I’m truly frightened by the depth of my love for you, but I’m more afraid to live without it.”
“Mia.” His lips move in a whisper as he pulls me into his arms. We stay like that for what seems like eons while he whispers regrets and wishes into my lips, my neck and any other part of me he can kiss. I listen and accept it all, giving back as much as I get. This is our real moment, the moment of our commitment to each other. Absolutely no man can, or will, ever put asunder. Cole and I commit in that room to never separate. As crazy as is seems, amid all the dramatic situations surrounding us, we found our path.
Pulling us from our bubble is the constant buzzing from Cole’s phone. Looking down, he tips his head to the side and puts the phone to his ear, never letting go of me.
“Foster, plans have changed. I will be with Mia. Let’s plan for the cottage. We will pack and meet you in a half hour. Inform the shark pool and I will handle the rest.”
Without a goodbye, he ends the call and kisses the top of my head and I squeeze his waist harder.
“Cottage?” I ask, looking up at him.
“Surprise,” he laughs. “My plan was to take you there Friday night before everything happened. I bought you a present.” His eyes twinkle with delight.
“Wait, when? You bought me a cottage? When were you going to tell me this news?” I ask in disbelief, pulling back to look at Cole’s face.
“If you were listening, you would have heard me say that I was planning on surprising you last night. I was going to take you for the weekend, but then I got sidetracked with being arrested for murder and all.” Grinning, he grabs my hands and kisses them.
I start to bounce a little and without being able to control myself, I squeal.
“This is the best present ever! Where is it? What should I pack?” I lurch myself forward and plant a huge kiss on his lips and wrap my arms around his neck.
“I’d buy you a million houses if they make you this happy.”
“I love you, Cole Parker.”
“Right back atcha, Mrs. Parker.”
Taking my hand, Cole leads us back to the bedroom to pack. I walk into my closet and grab my luggage and begin searching for all the perfect cottage outfits. After shaking his head for the millionth time at my two bags, he sandwiches his small bag in between mine and picks all of them up without struggle, leaving his free hand to wrap around my waist.
Foster meets us on the bottom floor and takes the bags from Cole. They exchange some words while I text Alex to tell her I will be out of town.
Mia: He bought me a cottage
Alex: as in cheese?
Mia: No, lol like as in a small house in the woods
Alex: Shut up! I can’t even get anyone to buy me a drink
Mia: I’m dying of excitement. Favor?
Alex: Maybe….
Mia: Don’t tell anyone where we are…I just need to get him away and be away.
Alex: Haha, jokes on you, I don’t even know where you are going! Have fun in Neverland mwah
Mia: Be nice to Foster…he might be lonely for the next few days…
Alex: *Middle finger*
Mia: Lol, you can just insert the emoji, dummy
Alex: I won’t do that update…I read that people’s phones caught fire afterward.
Mia: I can’t even with you! *rolling eyes*
Alex: Bye bitch
Mia: Bye xoxo
Putting my phone away in my purse, I turn to Cole and smile. I pause, watching him speak to Foster, watching his face go through different expressions ending with a wide smile. I love that gorgeous man. Anyone that looks at him would want to love him. He is tall and lean, broad shouldered and 100% male. He wasn’t an asshole though. So many guys that have what Cole has are egotistical and self-centered. That could never be him. His heart was huge and he always thought of me. I never worry or have to wonder what Cole’s number one priority is, it’s always me.
Smiling at him like the lucky fool I am, he turns to me and winks and I swear time stands still for a moment. He and Foster walk toward me and Cole opens my door first, allowing me to scoot across the back of the black SUV, Cole following. Situating myself in my seat, Cole begins returning phone calls leaving me to my thoughts. I watch the landscape blur and change, wondering what the rest of the world is doing at this moment.
For the last few months, Cole and I had either been immersed in some drama or just immersed in each other. Looking out the window made me realize how myopic we’ve been. I guess it’s natural for new or old/new couples. The thought made me laugh a bit, calling Cole’s attention to me.
“What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours? You’ve been so quiet for the last half hour.”
“Geez, have I really been zoned out for half an hour?” Looking down at my watch, I realize it’s not an exaggeration.
“I would’ve interrupted, but I had too many fires to put out.”
“Oh God, how’s that going?” I give a “yikes” look as if to exaggerate my understanding.
“Well, the good news is that I won’t be fired,” he smirks. “Or broke,” he replies with a grin.
“Ha! I would still love you if you got fired. Now broke is a whole different story.”
“I knew it! Gold digger,” he yells as he reaches out to tickle me.
Feigning shock I grin, “I’ve got my own money. I just don’t want any dead weight.” Ending with a sly grin, I add, “Hey, how long until we get there?”
Putting his phone down on the seat, he turns his body so he is facing me. “About two and a half hours. It’s the cutest little town upstate, lots of antiques and it has a gorgeous lake.”
“I can’t believe I’m being surprised with a cottage! I don’t care what it looks like, I will love it!”
Cole leans over, kissing my forehead and turning away all too quickly to look back at his dinging phone. “Hey, Richard says your mom is having those books delivered to the penthouse tomorrow, I’ll arrange for them to be put upstairs.”
“Great, I barely remember talking to her about that. Glad she remembered.”
“What did you want them for?” he asks absentmindedly while looking through some paperwork.
I realize at this very moment I could tell them they held the secret to the cure for cancer and he won’t even hear me, but I tell him the truth instead. “I’m just exploring my inner Murder She Wrote. I just wanted to look through some old photo albums from college, hoping something or someone would jog my memory about Carter’s cousin.”
“Mmmm, that’s great, sweetheart.” Like I thought, totally checked out! I don’t know how much I love this, I feel like that needy girl that I usually think is ridiculous, but I hate that he is so immersed in something else right now. I should quit, this is dumb. I know I’m heading down a road that should be left untraveled, but I’m starting to worry that our time away won’t really be away. Before the thought gets too worrisome, I remind myself that I am married to a fucking mogul. He can’t just work part-time from our study. What the hell, Mia! I need to get a grip and stop this madness.
For the next few hours, I alternate my stare between the landscape, which has become more about trees, and Cole. He wasn’t lying when he said he had fires to put out. Watching him work and occasionally rub my thigh or kiss my hand has gotten me fairly worked up. He is no less powerful in his professional life than he is in the bedroom. My man takes no prisoners, but right now, I just want to be imprisoned by his body. Licking my lips, I rest my head on the back of the seat and close my eyes and begin to imagine laying under
Cole and all the delicious things he would do to my body. I don’t know when he noticed my daydream, but I feel his lips on my neck.
“Baby, if you keep looking like that, we will be giving Foster one helluva show.”
“Right now, Cole, you could fuck me in the middle of Times Square and I wouldn’t care,” I lick my lips as I pull one side of my maxi skirt up to reveal my leg.
Grabbing my chin and angling it so I’m staring at him, “Watch it, Mia, I don’t enjoy the idea of anyone getting to see your gorgeous body, but I’m so fucking hard right now that I’m not sure I could control myself.” He pulls my face toward him and begins to kiss me slowly and deliberately, exploring my mouth and leaving me a bit breathless. He tastes of mint and his lips are cool from the ice in his water.
Pulling away, I keep my eyes closed, not ready to open them and watch him pull away and back to work. When I open my eyes, Cole is staring at me with a sexy grin, head tilted to the side like he is enjoying the show.
“What?” I whisper, feeling self-conscious, feeling the blush creep up into my cheeks.
“What, what? You are fucking sexy, you know that?” As if to punctuate what he is saying, he licks his bottom lip and lets his eyes wander down my body. How does he do this? Make me hot just by looking at me, I swear I might come right now with just the heat stirring between us.
“You make me feel sexy. I want to be sexy for you. Tell me what you want.” I can’t believe I’m being this forward, I can’t seem to control my libido, but I don’t care. I know what I want, and I know what I need! Cole doesn’t take his eyes off me. His outward appearance doesn’t change, but the grip on my bare leg starts to tighten as if he could rip the rest of my clothes right from my body. God! I wish he would.
“Foster, how much time until we arrive?”
“About three minutes until arrival.”
This is going to be the longest three minutes of my life. We sit looking at each other, and I know he is making a playbook for how he is going to destroy my body and I feel giddy. I swear I almost rip off my seatbelt when the car stops. Thank God Foster gets out to get the bags because I launch myself onto Cole’s lap. We start tearing at each other, kissing, rubbing, caressing and it isn’t until he rips my top open that I become aware of my surroundings.
The Forever Series Page 18