by Karina Halle
Perhaps I am.
She steps up to the mic and begins the verse;
Combing back my hair
Thinking of you, late night phone calls
Lead us to our end
I join her on the chorus, the crowd are perfectly unified, Switch and Calvi are in the pocket. We sing together:
An emptiness, I need a companion
In the dead of the night I can find reasons too
And there is something in you that turns me on
The way Lael says the last few words makes me wish I could record the song again. She makes the song sexier, she makes the band sound better. When the song ends the crowd tells her she did a good job. It’s a challenge to keep that energy up for the rest of the show. If we ever do that again we would close with it rather than open.
Lael is a tough act to follow.
But we manage.
We blow the crowd out of the water with each and every song.
It’s one hell of an amazing show.
When it’s over, we leave the stage and the crowd thanks us with a roaring applause that lasts longer than usual. I feel like they know it’s a special night.
“Wow, that was a good one, mates!” Arnie says to us. “Let’s get the VIP stuff out of the way so we can celebrate.”
Lately we’ve been doing all the meet and greets after the show. I prefer it that way. I can’t say I ever feel like doing it after the show but it’s a hell of a lot better than before when it takes me out of the zone. And sometimes the fans can really vibe you out.
Arnie guides us to where the radio winners and big spenders wait. We round a corner and I’m not only surprised by the amount of people waiting, I’m surprised at how many of them are teenage girls with teal hair.
I think we’re all taken aback.
“Look at all the mini-Laels,” I say to her.
I can tell she’s both flattered and embarrassed but she takes on the role well. I can’t think of a better mentor for these young girls to have. To me Lael is strength, she uses her feminine energy in a beautiful way that empowers her. It looks like she has some followers that feel empowered by her, too.
We all stand abreast as usual, the teal-haired young ladies skip right past Calvi, Switch, and I to meet Lael.
They look up to her with wide eyes. Lael becomes a slightly different version of herself when she greets the young ladies. She seems tougher in a way and I feel like she knows her manners are going to be emulated by these girls and she only has a moment with them.
I like her message; the world treats you like you let it, be tough.
I’m beyond proud. I’m not happy this is the last show with Lael for this tour but I couldn’t ask for a better send-off.
Lael takes pictures with all of them. There is a nice moment when a teal-haired young teen does a little princess pose for the camera and Lael shows her the rock and roll symbol with hand and demonstrating how to scowl. That little girl is still a princess when she leaves, but instead of a wand in her hand she carries a sword.
I’m high from the show in the best way. But what goes up must come down and when Lael gives me the look that she is leaving, I come down hard.
I crash.
“Alright partner, I will see you in a week,” Lael says with half a smile.
“Now, you’re leaving now?” I question.
“Come on, walk me out,” she says.
She exchanges hugs and goodbyes with Switch and Calvi. Her hug with Calvi was awkward and hard to watch. She laughs it off and we head down the hall, and we stop at a metal door that leads to the loading area.
“I have a ride waiting for me,” she says.
“So this is goodbye.”
“For a week,” she assures me. “Actually less than a week. You better come straight to my place when you get back to LA.” Her voice is soft and caring. “And text and call me whenever you can. I’ll update you with any baby news.”
“I’m going to miss you” I say. I am trying not to be over the top, I don’t want to freak her out.
But the truth is, it breaks my heart that she’s leaving.
Somehow, though, I keep it together to save face. I wish I could find the words but they’re just not there.
She opens the door and I hold it while she goes outside.
There’s a black limousine waiting.
Fuck. This is all happening so fast.
“Don’t forget about me Snyder,” she says as she struts away.
“Hate to see you go but I love to watch you leave,” I call out to her.
She turns her head and laughs.
We’re both grinning at each other.
It would be as good a send-off as I could ask for but then it happens.
This limousine door opens and Ronald steps out.
He’s wearing a long black trench coat and his lips are in a closed grin.
My smile disappears when we briefly make eye contact.
Lael doesn’t look back at me, she gets into the shiny black limousine and Ronald follows her.
As I lean against a post in the dark loading area and watch the limo drive away, I think about a song I released on an old album called Spaceship Limousine. It’s about a young limousine driver that modifies his limousine so it can fly to space in order to impress a woman.
It’s a song that wasn’t well received but it’s still one of my favorites. When you are in love with a gal, you will do anything to impress her. I’m in love with Lael and I will fly to the moon for her.
This is going to be the slowest, longest week of my life.
Chapter Twenty
Brad
“Thank you! We are And Then, you can buy our albums wherever you buy music. This is the last show of an amazing tour, so this is a special night. I hope we made you feel good. This last song is called ‘Shut the door, have a seat,’” I shout into the mic, addressing the sold-out crowd. The audience is a sloppy bunch; Vegas is always an interesting show. The people eat too much at the free buffets and drink more than they ever normally would. They are mostly all fans, but you will always find a handful folks that are just looking for some entertainment. They could have seen a magician or Celine Dion, but they came here.
I don’t hate playing in Vegas, but it does feel more like work sometimes. The crowd is there to be entertained, unlike somewhere like Portland where the crowd is there to participate and create an experience.
I make it through our last song. We politely wave and leave the stage. Bruce Ross doesn’t have a fraction of the energy that Lael brings to the music, but he is a pro and I appreciate him helping us out. I put my guitar on its stand next to a smiling Arnie.
“This was a hell of a tour my friend!” Arnie says to me.
“Yes, it was,” I answer. I raise my arms and give Arnie a hug. “Until the next time,” I say, then quickly add, “But next time no charter planes.”
We share a laugh and part ways. I make my way down the steps to the backstage area. Everyone is trying to make eye contact. There is a certain pressure—all of these folks will tell the story of what you were like. I smile and say hello, but I keep on walking and remind myself that the show isn’t really over until you close your hotel room door. It’s just a different act.
I round a corner and see that this act of the show will have a challenge. Ronald Ramsey is sitting in a chair speaking to a small group. He waves his arms expressively and takes up more space than he should. The group is all nodding in a yes motion like a bunch of bobble heads.
“There’s the man!” Ronald shouts and motions to me.
“Ronald.” I address him with respect, but without reverence. “What brings you to Vegas?” I ask.
“I came to see the last show of the tour. Sold-out, very impressive. The numbers from this tour have been great, truly fantastic.” Ronald speaks directly to me, the crowd around him beginning to thin out, with only the suits that work with him remaining. Ronald flattens his tie and presses on. “I think about that kid I found in t
hat alley, and boy look at you now. Hasn’t he come a long way?” Ronald asks his henchmen, but doesn’t wait for an answer. Switch walks in and takes a seat.
“Steve, good to see ya.” I never can tell if Ronald really can’t remember Switch’s name, or if it’s some form of dominance.
Switch raises his glass and dips his head, but doesn’t say a word.
“So, the tour’s over. After a little break let’s get back in the studio. Let’s keep the energy up, now is not the time to start slowing down,” Ronald’s voice fills the room, even though he’s looking in the vanity mirror as he speaks.
I consider telling him his days of controlling my career are over, that he can sue me all he wants, but I’m leaving and I’m taking his daughter with me. I smile at the thought, but I don’t want to be careless, this is Lael’s father after all. For now, I will play my cards safely.
“This is what we do,” I answer casually.
“Good, I look forward to hearing some demos. I have some other business.” Ronald swings his chair around and stands as gracefully as an old, tall round man can.
“I’m glad we can have a working relationship like this Brad, really. I mean it’s truly the best thing for both of us. To think how close we were to ending it all in Denver. It’s much better this way. When I gave Lael the ultimatum to leave the band or I would end you, she made the right decision.” Ronald’s words hang in the air, he is smiling a devilish grin.
She lied to me. I know she was trying to protect me but I’m still angered, I’m hurt, I feel betrayed. I fight to keep my emotions under control, but my hatred for Ronald is almost impossible to conceal. Thankfully, he takes it upon himself to leave.
“Really Brad, going from a homeless orphan to leading one of the most successful touring bands in the world…. I’ve done a terrific job with you.” Ronald walks by me and slaps me on the back. “You don’t have to thank me, just hold up your end of the deal and we’re fine.” Ronald leans in close, so only I can hear his words. “Lael won’t keep it, she will make the right decision.” He leaves, and his minions follow.
I can feel my blood boil. He’s talking about my unborn child. Why didn’t Lael tell me he knew? Why didn’t Lael tell me about this ultimatum? My relationship with Ronald is going to change forever now and I’m looking forward to it.
“Why can that man never get my name right?” Switch asks.
I sit next to Switch on the opposite end of the couch, trying to shake off finding out that Lael lied to me about why she left the tour. Calvi walks in.
“Who died?” Calvi asks.
“You just missed Ronald, he gave our marching orders to head back into the studio,” I answer.
“Oh goodie,” Calvi says, then takes a sip of from a large tiki mug with smoke billowing out.
I push myself to the edge of the couch and speak soberly, “You know fellas, I want you to know that no matter what happens you are my brothers. One day we will be free of Ramsey Records; I don’t know when that will happen, but that day won’t be the end, that will be the beginning.”
I stand up and give Calvi a one-armed hug. I can hear his drink sizzling.
“Take care man, talk soon.” I pat him on the back and then look at Switch, who is standing up.
“Come here ya son of a bitch,” I pull Switch in and we hug it out.
“I know you’re only looking out for the band, but I need you to relax with the whole Lael thing. She makes me happy,” I say to both of them.
“You sure you know what you are doing man?” Calvi asks with an odd tone to his voice.
“I am, I want her in my life and I need you fellas to be okay with that.”
Silence hangs in the air.
“I’ve never seen you like this man, I am happy you found someone. It would be better if she wasn’t Ronald’s daughter, but what are ya going to do? I wish you the best,” Calvi says though I can’t tell if it’s sincere or not.
I look at Switch for a reaction.
“What he said,” Switch says, and points to Calvi.
“Well alright then. I will love ya and leave ya. And if you don’t mind, I’m stealing the bus,” I say as I walk toward the exit.
Switch leans in and inspects Calvi’s strange cocktail, then says, “Take it, I’m sick of that damn bus.”
“Take care fellas.” I wave as I walk out the door.
I’m in the back parking lot and see ol’ George, drunk as a skunk and wearing one of those visor hats gamblers wear.
“Hey George, looks like you’re heading back to the tables, I was hoping for a lift to LA,” I tell him, knowing damn well he won’t be driving me anywhere.
“My shift is over son, here’s the keys, take good care of her,” George replies in a drunken voice as he tosses me the keys.
That was easy.
I catch them and look at the massive bus. I don’t even drive a car. George doesn’t wait for a response and heads back to the casino. I look at the busy Vegas street I have to reverse into and my heart sinks.
“Oh boy,” I say out loud to myself.
I step into the bus and close the door. After some fumbling I get the engine started. It occurs to me I have no idea what Lael’s address is, so I pull out my phone and send a text.
I’ve stolen the bus, I’m driving it to your place, address please
She responds right away:
What!? Stop stealing vehicles, you’re going to kill yourself. Take a taxi!
I smile and text back:
Too late—on my way
She texts:
Please don’t get into an accident. 150 Nagle Ave, Sherman Oaks
I begin backing up. I lay on the horn and don’t let go. I’m being yelled at and drinks are being thrown at the bus, but I don’t care. At least I’m not running over anyone.
After a twelve-point turn, a hundred cars honking at me, and a serious traffic jam, I’m finally pointed in the right direction and on my way. I’m smiling like a mad man driving down the strip in a bus, on my way to see Lael. God I miss her, I can’t wait to see the look on her face when I pull up with this thing.
I fumble with my phone, getting the G.P.S. going. I struggle to keep my energy up when I see my E.T.A. It looks like I’ll be arriving at six a.m. Obviously I could have planned this better, but I’m on my way and I’m not turning back. I turn on the radio and the Allman Brothers are playing. Perfect, I can’t think of a better sound track.
I pull onto the freeway and my back wheels driving over the curb cause the bus to bounce around violently, almost knocking me out of my seat. I turn down the radio and buckle up.
After a long boring ride on the highway, I managed to stay awake and make it to LA and the G.P.S. says I’m close. There’s a yellow warning light, indicating I have low fuel, that I have a sincere conversation with. I beg and plead to not run out of gas.
I’m so close, just a little longer, come on baby.
The G.P.S. gives me my commands:
Turn left
Turn Right
Destination is on your right
And then I’m here, I made it, I’m exhausted.
I park as close to the curb as I can and turn off the engine. The bus is dreadfully out of place on this quiet residential street. I feel drugged; I played to a sold-out crowd, then drove through the night to get here, and now it’s morning and everything feels completely surreal.
There she is, I can see her one house down from where I stopped. She’s stepping out of the front door and closing it behind her.
I take in a deep breath – I can’t wait to hold her – and feel a second wind wash over me. I put on my jacket, only to try and look cool. I drink some water from a bottle to try to remedy my dry mouth. I’m nervous, I hope she hasn’t changed her mind about how she feels about me.
She’s walking this way. I prepare to get off the bus as gallantly as possible, like a knight dismounting his horse, like a captain from his ship, like…
I miss a step and fall flat on my face.
“Brad! Oh my god are you okay?” Lael shouts and runs over.
“That was a longer drive than I thought,” I answer, rolling to my back.
Lael lies on the grass with me. She holds my face and kisses me softly. “I can’t believe you did that. I’ve been up all night, worried. I wanted to call or text but I imagined you reaching for the phone and crashing. Do you even have a license?”
“No,” I answer.
“Brad!” Lael scolds me.
“I. Missed. You. So. Much.” I kiss her between each word.
“C’mon, we’re lying on my neighbors’ lawn.” Lael pulls at the cuffs of my jacket.
I stand up and we face each other, her teal hair is tied up and she’s wearing a long tee shirt and comfy pants. The air smells like flowers, the morning sun makes her tired eyes squint. She looks like home and I would have driven that bus around the world to see her.
“Lael.”
“Yes, Brad?”
“I am in love with you.”
She leans in and kisses my bottom lip softly. Her face is completely relaxed, and she looks at me with the most caring eyes I’ve ever seen. She tilts her head and as she kisses me again, I can feel her giving me her trust; so completely vulnerable and perfect.
“Inside,” Lael commands, her voice soft.
She holds my hand with a soft grip and walks me to her front door. She takes me down a short hall and into her room.
“You must be so tired, baby,” she says, pulling at my shirt.
She undresses me completely. I would have at least kept my boxers on, but I forgot who I was dealing with here. She slips out of her clothes and is completely naked. I get the impression this is how she always sleeps.
We get into her perfectly soft bed and tangle our naked bodies together.
“And I’m in love with you,” she whispers in my ear.
I fall asleep in the morning light with a smile that lasts for as long as I’m asleep.
There’s a thud and crash that wakes me. I don’t know what time it is, but the room looks considerably different with the blinds closed.