by Kyra Quinn
It’s hard to picture a world without shadow wars between the Paranormals and the fallen angels. But if their plan works and we kill Michael, the rest of the angels and their human hunters will scatter. A few rogue souls might continue to hunt Paranormals, but they won’t pose much of a threat to our community. And without the threat of Michael destroying the Earth and everything on it weighing us down, the rest of us will have a lot more time for the fun parts of our jobs.
“It's a pity considering her potential, but victory requires sacrifice. Whatever it takes to rid this world of the angels,” I say at last, and I can even hear the resignation in my tone. I protected Nadia as well as I could, but her fate was already sealed. My good intentions aren’t enough to save souls already damned.
“We’ll text you the location for the drop,” Lilith says, a note of dismissal in her voice. She moves for the door, adding, “I suggest keeping the girl in chains until then. This is too important to risk anyone screwing it up.”
Dagon gives a stiff nod. “We’ll have the Cursed Blade in Moloch’s hands as soon as she’s gone.”
Gone. Again. Only this time, her disappearance from the Earth will be permanent. Something about this hit differently than the last time I lost her. I could pretend she left to follow her dreams and go to college or build a fresh life for herself somewhere else. But this time, there’s no mysterious fantasy to comfort myself with. Michael and Zeke will kill Nadia tomorrow, and there’s not a damn thing I can do to save her.
* * *
It takes a few more drinks and a blunt to summon the courage to tell Nadia about the change in plans. She takes the news about as well as I expect. I stand in the center of her room and brace myself as her fists pound against my chest and face. Tears stream from her steely eyes. She calls me every profane name she can think of, but I don’t mind. I deserve worse for handing her over to the wolves.
Nadia runs out of steam after a few minutes. She collapses to the floor at my feet and sobs so loud I can feel it in my own empty soul. Matted locks of copper hair fall over her face. I grit my teeth and say nothing, aware no number of apologies can fix this one. I want to explain to her how my hands are tied, how I don’t have a choice but to hand her over if we want to stand a chance at ending this miserable war any time in the next century.
But the words are like honey in my mouth, too thick and sticky to force from my tongue. Rationalizations and explanations may comfort me, but it’s not my life on the line. I doubt Nadia gives a shit how many Paranormal lives her death might save. As far as she’s concerned, we’re all monsters unworthy of the air we breathe.
“Kane,” she wails, not lifting her head from the floor, “please. You know this is wrong. Don’t do this.”
“It’s already done.”
“No!” She pounds her fists against the ground. “It’s not too late to make the right decision. Don’t abandon me now. We can stop him, Kane. Together. We can kill them both and end this war.”
She does not understand how much I want to believe that. How hard I fought to convince the Knights of the same thing only hours before. But there’s no way to keep Nadia and acquire the blade.
Heaviness settles into the center of my chest. It’s cruel to allow Nadia to cling to hope. “It’s over, Nadia. Face the end with dignity.”
Her head snaps up, her bloodshot eyes locking on mine. “Dignity? This coming from you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She pushes to her feet and barks an incredulous laugh. “Zeke may have tricked me into joining his cause, but you’re a willing slave to this war. Jumping through every fucking hoop those cunts tell you to, yet you pretend you’re some big bad demon lord who doesn’t play by the rules or take orders from anyone. You speak of dignity and pride, but you have none. You’re more pathetic than I ever was, but your head is shoved too far up your ass to realize it.”
I clasp my hands behind my back to hide their shaking. “This is bigger than you or me.”
She rolls her eyes. “Right. Whatever you need to tell yourself to pretend you’re still the tough guy in charge. You know what’s sad? I almost thought we could work together. I thought I might even fall for you. But it was just another lie. You know, I pity you. You’ll spend the rest of your eternal life someone else’s bitch, and you’ll never know what love feels like.”
Her words snap something inside of me. An empty ache spreads through my chest. I don’t know if I can say I love her—I’m not even sure I know the meaning of the word—but I care about her more than I’m comfortable admitting to even myself. This isn’t the way I wanted our time together to end. Not with so much left between us unsaid and unexplored. I always knew I couldn’t keep her forever, but I’d hoped for at least a little more time to explore this dark lust between us.
Crossing my arms, I shake my head, unwilling to let her see how close to home her insults hit. “Love? You inherited your mother’s psychosis with her powers. I never cared about you one way or the other, Nadia. From the day we met, you’ve always been a means to an end. Like your mother.”
She jolts back, my lie hitting her like a physical blow. Her face darkens. “You didn’t stab her, but you’re still the reason my mother is dead. The Dark Hunt only came for her because you forced her to help you.”
Not true—Alana practiced plenty of magic on her own time, too—but I shrug. “She knew the risks. But she also understood the consequences of turning us away. It’s a shame you didn’t inherit her sense of self-preservation.”
She flips me off, and it’s hard not to laugh at the absurdity of the gesture in such a tense moment. Nadia places a hand on my cheek and brings her lips to my ear.
“Don’t look so smug, lover. You have won nothing yet.”
A shudder runs down my spine. “It’s over, love. You’re out of moves.”
Her breath is warm against my neck. “Not yet. It’s never too late to flip the board and change the game.”
I don’t understand the metaphor, but something about the icy determination in her voice is unsettling. It made sense for her to hit me, curse me, and split apart at the seams. This sudden change in attitude, though? I understand that far less.
“Stop.” A warning, a threat, a plea. “Don’t make this any harder.”
“Last chance,” she whispers. “Put your faith in me instead of this pointless war. Help me kill the bastards who took my mother from me. We can put an end to all this bloodshed, but you must trust me. Step into the hero’s shoes for once. They’ll look better on you.”
Clever, manipulative girl. The tiny flicker of hope in her silvery eyes would break my heart if I had one. Her appeal would probably work on anyone else. Who doesn’t want to imagine themselves as the white knight saving the world and skipping off into the sunset with the girl on his arm? But she’s young. Naive. She doesn’t understand that real heroism requires sacrifice and loss. There’s no such thing as a bloodless victory.
“I’m sorry,” I say, the crack in my voice betraying more emotion than I wanted her to sense. “There’s no other way.”
“Bullshit.” She shoves me. “There’s always another way. You’re just too much of a coward to look for it.”
I narrow my eyes until I’m glaring at her through tiny slits. “Watch your tongue before I carve it from your mouth, pet.”
“Do it,” she snarls. “What do I need it for after they kill me?”
I sigh, out of energy for this argument. No matter how much she begs, or cries or whispers promises into my ear, the decision is irrevocable. I make my way towards the door, ignoring the way she screams my name as I leave. Locking the door, I press myself against the oak and rake a hand through my hair. It’s the right decision, but that doesn’t mean I’m proud of it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Nadia
It shouldn’t surprise me that Kane locked me in a room the moment he no longer needed me. Now that he’s struck a deal with Michael and Zeke, it’s as if I no longer exist. Not
even Arachne stops by to check on me or bring food. For the longest time, silence is my only companion.
I spend the first several hours desperately trying to tap back into whatever magic I used before. If I can open a portal and escape this nightmare, I won’t have to worry about angels or demons. The last several days taught me everyone I once trusted has lied to my face. Whatever alternate reality the portal takes me to can’t suck worse than this one.
But no matter what I do, the power doesn’t return. I try everything from picturing Zeke killing me to imagining Kane naked on top of me. I even spend an uncomfortable amount of time remembering the night of my mother’s murder. The only thing I get in return is a pounding headache and a heavy heart.
Come tomorrow, it’s over. Unless I find a way to unfuck myself, Kane’s made it clear he’s finished with me. He might pity me, but not enough to change his mind and help me. He’s too afraid to go against the Knights.
“Or he just doesn’t care about me enough to want to,” I grumble to the empty room. Pressing my back against the door, I slide to the ground. It doesn’t matter why. Either way, I’m on my own.
But it’s not the first time I’ve had to figure out how to save myself. Life isn’t a fairytale, and I’ve never had a handsome prince waiting to rescue me. I survived my shitty childhood on my own and escaped my father’s house. The Dark Hunt may have taken me in, but I earned my place. Zeke and Jade taught me the basics, and I made them my own. Until Kane, I killed every demon to cross my path in the last two years.
Arachne’s face pops into my head. Demon or not, she’s shown me nothing but kindness since my abduction. She’s washed my hair, dressed me, and treated me like one of her friends. She doesn’t deserve to die any more than my mother did. But the Dark Hunt doesn’t distinguish between good monsters and evil ones. Anything inhuman is a viable target.
Too bad no one else realizes our leaders are as inhuman as the monsters we hunt. Zeke and Michael lied to all of us. They don’t care about protecting mortals or keeping Miami safe. It’s all about power and control. We’re nothing more than pawns in someone else’s war.
I joined the Dark Hunt because I thought it was the right thing to do. I believed every lie they sold me about saving innocent lives and ridding the world of evil. None of us ever stopped to ask how many of the creatures we killed deserved to die. If it has magic, the Dark Hunt extinguishes it.
Against all evidence, against every ounce of my better judgment, I still believe Kane doesn’t want this any more than I do. He couldn’t even look me in the eye when he told me what Lilith ordered him to do. He may never admit it aloud, but he knows this isn’t right. Somewhere deep inside the void where his heart should be, he cares about me. As much as a demon can care, anyway.
But what do his feelings matter if he’s too cowardly to face them? He doesn’t care enough to lift a finger to keep me alive. I learned a long time ago to trust actions over words, let alone unspoken ones. If he won’t fight for me, what does it matter how he feels? I’m on my own either way.
I can worry about whatever feelings I do or don’t have for Kane after I’ve figured out a way out of this mess. Kane isn’t stupid enough to give me my weapons back before he hands me over. But he won’t turn up to a meeting with the enemy empty-handed, either.
Too bad Kane is wise to my tricks at this point. After my failed attempt to seduce and murder him, he’ll probably be expecting me to pull something. He won’t give me the chance to get my hands on his weapon.
Zeke and Michael are a different story. They won’t realize I know the truth about what they did to my mother. Hell, they probably didn’t expect the demons to tell me what they are. I won’t have a weapon, but I’ll at least have the element of surprise on my side. And whatever evil gifts my mother left me with. My powers are enough reason for the Hunt to kill me, but can they also save me? For now, I must hope it’s enough. I have little else to work with.
I close my eyes and press my hands together in front of my heart, the way I used to watch my mother do sometimes when she was stressed out or needed to make a big decision. The least religious woman I knew, I always found it weird when my mother turned to prayer for comfort. But maybe it wasn’t prayer at all. Maybe there’s a secret to tapping into our magic.
At first, nothing happens. I shift my weight and groan. Mom always made meditation look easy. Maybe it only works for people who don’t have a tsunami of dark thoughts threatening to pull them under. My skin prickles as my breaths become short and ragged. Why isn’t anything happening?
A slight buzz of energy vibrates through my fingertips. My mother’s image springs into my mind once more, her legs crossed, and eyes closed. Her palms, like mine, are pressed together in front of her chest. But unlike mine, her fingertips point towards the floor.
Of course. I tilt my hands until they mirror hers in my memories. The electricity between my fingertips grows more intense until it becomes almost too painful to maintain. My ears ring and the ground beneath me shakes. A rush of something warm and prickly spreads through my body, but I don’t stop. A gust of wind swirls around me despite the enclosed space, tempting me to open my eyes. Before I do, my mother’s face appears to me.
“Nadia,” she says, her voice thin. “Embrace your gifts and the protection of your ancestors. Let us in. We will imbue you with our powers and guide you through the rest of your journey.”
“How?” I whisper, warm tears sliding down my face. “What do I do?”
“You must speak the ancient incantation and claim your place as a Daughter of Night. It will grant you access to all the gifts and knowledge our ancestors have collected over the centuries. Lilith may change her mind about her plans for you. She’s callous where most are concerned, but she protects her children like a mother lion defends her cubs.”
“I don’t understand—”
“You do. I’m so proud of the strong and independent woman you’ve become, my love. But even with your many talents, you can’t do this alone. If you want to succeed, you need to ask for help.”
I don’t want to admit I already tried that with Kane. “Demons aren’t the most helpful creatures. Lilith won’t spare me.”
“Not without an excellent reason, no. Which is where we can help you.”
Even powerful witches can’t help much from beyond the grave. How powerful can she be if she’s already dead? At this point, I’m desperate enough to try almost anything.
“Will this be enough?”
Her mouth twists into a sad smile. “I don’t know. Lilith is a wildcard. But at least this way you stand a chance.”
“Okay. Tell me what to do.”
* * *
After an eternity alone, three sharp raps at the door jerk me from my silent mediation. I jump as the door swings open. Kane steps into the room, Lilith a few steps behind. The muscle in his jaw twitches as he glares at me.
“You have a visitor,” he says, his voice flat. “The Dark Mother wishes to speak with you alone.”
A chill runs down my spine, but I tilt my chin and meet his cold eyes. “Guess you should leave.”
His nostrils flare, and I half expect him to strike me. Lilith, however, smiles.
“She’s right. Be a dear and wait for me downstairs, Kane.”
His mouth opens, but he seems to think better of whatever he wanted to say. He snaps his jaw shut and nods. “As you wish.”
It’s strange to watch Kane take orders from anyone. He backs out of the room with the heat of his glare still trained on my face. I keep my head held high, praying he won’t notice the way the rest of me trembles. This had better work. Otherwise, he will kill me before anyone else has time to try.
Lilith waits for his footsteps to disappear. She studies me, her cold eyes scanning me from head to toe. She frowns, apparently not impressed with what she finds.
“So,” she says after a beat, “explain how and why you’ve summoned me here. But talk fast. If I don’t like your answer, I have half a mind to
take your voice as punishment.”
My stomach flips. I don’t know if it’s an empty threat or a power she possesses, but I don’t plan to find out. I clear my throat and say, “I know what you must think of me. With all due respect, Night Mother, you’re wrong. I’m not some weak mortal whose only use is as a bargaining chip with your enemies. I’m your newest weapon. I want to help you slay them once and for all.”
Lilith touches a finger to her crimson lips. “Bold promises, girl. But how do you plan to fulfill them? Even my best soldiers haven’t found a way to get rid of those blessed angels.”
“Because they’re monsters.” I wince as the word crosses my lips, but Lilith seems to take no offense. “Zeke and Michael have an entire team of people trained to track and kill your kind.”
She folds her arms over her chest. “And you believe a mortal stands a better chance? He could snap your spine in half like a twig.”
“He could, but he won’t. Not until they’ve interrogated me and figure out what your soldiers tortured out of me. But we both know I’m a little more than mortal.”
“Because of your mother?” Lilith snorts. “You aren’t Alana Gray. My dear, witches like your mother train for years to master their powers. Your occasional flickers of magic aren’t enough to stand against the angels.”
“I understand why you’re reluctant to put your faith in me,” I say, careful to keep my voice light. “It’s true, I’m not my mother. I don’t have her years of experience. But her blood, and her magic, flows through my veins. I can channel the same spirits and ancestral powers she did. Those bastards killed my mother, and they’ll do the same to you or me. Anyone with magic they can’t control. Your enemy is my enemy.”
She cocks her head to the side and purses her lips, unconvinced. She won’t take me at my word alone. I expected as much. If I want Lilith to consider me a viable ally, I must show her what I’m capable of.