Never Gonna Happen

by Cynthia Eden

  “Like you don’t want the same thing?” Winston sent him a knowing glance. “Isn’t that why you told him to stay away from her?”

  Originally, when he’d first asked Sebastian to stay away…I just didn’t want her hurt. She was his sister, and Sebastian had been introducing him into a world of spies and danger. Keeping Alyssa away from that world had seemed necessary. But then time had passed, and he’d learned so much about Sebastian. I thought Alyssa hated him, though. Until today. Until she told me how she really feels. Now, everything had changed. He damn well didn’t want his sister to have a broken heart. He wanted her happy. So he’d just needed to move a few pieces around on the chess board. Needed to push the knight toward the queen. “Sebastian and I are very much alike on a whole lot of things.” And that was why he knew, with utter certainty, that when Sebastian saw Alyssa again…

  You can bluff a good game, my friend. You can say you’ll walk away.

  But if you wanted her for all these years…

  You won’t let her go.

  Especially not when Alyssa dropped her little bombshell on Sebastian.

  Antony had deliberately not told Sebastian that Alyssa said she loved him. That was for Alyssa to reveal, not him. But once Sebastian heard those words, once he knew Alyssa was crazy about him…

  He’ll never let her go.

  “So you’re okay with Sebastian hooking up with your sister?”

  Antony winced. “I don’t want any visuals.”

  “I’m sure you don’t.”

  “I didn’t want him to hurt her. That was always my worry. It was my mistake because I didn’t get the full situation between them. I didn’t see the real picture.” I didn’t realize how Sebastian really felt.

  Winston cocked one eyebrow. “You need a new prescription for those glasses or are you seeing clearly now?”

  “I think I finally am.”

  “Good. When this investigation is over, when everything settles down, remind me to tell you about Operation Get Into Alyssa’s Good Graces.” He turned away. “You will laugh your ass off because Sebastian has been that far gone for a long time.”

  A smile tugged at Antony’s lips. “Operation what?”

  ***

  Two cops were waiting outside Winston’s office. A male and a female. “Thought you were supposed to stay with her,” Sebastian said as he saw them and immediately tensed. He knew the cops. They were two of the best on the force. That was why Winston had sent them to watch Alyssa.

  “The special agent in charge wanted alone time with her.” Isla Burgos propped her shoulders against the wall. “But we’re not moving from this position.”

  Nico Ricci nodded from his spot on the other side of the door. Then he chided, “She’s been asking about you. Was wondering when you’d show up.”

  Guilt twisted inside of Sebastian as he reached for the doorknob. He swung the door open, not bothering to knock because…whatever. Dex can deal with me interrupting.

  When the door opened, he saw Dex sitting on the edge of Winston’s desk. Dex was leaning toward Alyssa as she sat in a nearby chair. Dex’s hand was curved under her chin.

  “Tell me…” Dex was saying. “Have you ever thought about being a spy?”

  “Seriously?” Un-fucking-believable. Sebastian kicked the door closed. “You bring her into the spy world, and it will be the last mistake you make.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Five minutes before Sebastian stormed into Winston’s office…

  “So…that whole takedown at the safe house didn’t go as planned.” Dex blew out a long breath and angled to half-sit on the edge of Winston’s desk. “My bad.”

  Alyssa sank into the chair near him. “Your bad? Is that the best you’ve got?”

  He pursed his lips and considered the matter. “My very, very bad?”

  “That’s not funny.”

  “I know, but see, I don’t exactly get how to handle apologies. I don’t do apologies a whole lot in my line of work. I tend to break rules and plot missions, and I don’t screw up nearly as much as you would suspect. You know, given our history.”

  Her eyebrows arched. “They put a bomb in the building.”

  “Yes, but I’d like to note that it wasn’t a very big bomb. It was more bang and flash. If they’d wanted to take down the building, they would’ve needed a lot more power. I think it was more about distraction than anything else.”

  That didn’t make her feel better. “I was bait, and the entire situation went to hell.”

  “Granted, that did happen.” He winced. “But I’m not sure…after a review of the situation…that you were so much the target.”

  “Excuse me?” He’d lost her.

  “I just came from an interrogation with one of the suspects. Dwight Granger. A real ‘save his self’ kind of guy. And I’d already had a brief chat—back on scene—with another perp, a not-so-upstanding fellow named Marty.”

  She waited.

  He blinked. “No questions?”

  “I figured you would keep talking. Not just stop dramatically.”

  “Fair enough.” A nod. “Marty and his little gang didn’t storm the place until after Sebastian arrived.”

  She already knew that, but… “Sebastian said he didn’t lead anyone to us—”

  “No, I don’t think he did. I believe the perps followed the breadcrumbs I’d deliberately left. But I think they were watching the building, and I think they were waiting. They wanted Sebastian to arrive, and it was only after he got there that they made their move.”

  Her heart surged in her chest. Now she got what he was saying. “And one of them tried to kill Sebastian.”

  He nodded. “Heard about that. Really nice shooting you did, by the way.” A pause. Then he leaned forward. His hand slid under her chin.

  Alyssa tensed. “What are you doing?”

  “Planning for an arrival. Should happen in the next sixty seconds or so. I’m usually good at predicting things like this.”

  “Uh, okay.”

  “But my question to you will be legitimate. Because that truly was nice shooting, and I liked the way you handled yourself when things went to hell. And all in a towel, no less.”

  Her eyes narrowed on him. “I will never live that down.”

  “No, the legend will live on. At least in my mind.”

  Her cheeks flushed.

  He smiled. “Tell me…have you ever thought about being a spy?”

  “Seriously?” A disgusted snarl.

  A door slammed.

  She jerked.

  “You bring her into the spy world, and it will be the last mistake you make.”

  Before she could speak, Sebastian stormed forward. “Get your hand off her, man!”

  Dex slowly pulled back his hand.

  Alyssa grabbed for the sides of her chair, physically rooting herself to the spot. On one hand, she wanted to surge to her feet and grab Sebastian. Hold tight. On the other hand… “It sure as hell took you long enough!”

  The anger faded from his expression. He blinked and seemed bemused.

  “I mean, I’ve just been sitting in here for a few hours. Hoping you were alive and not slumped in a gutter somewhere.”

  Dex coughed. Or smothered a laugh. Hard to be sure. “Um. It’s just terrible that he let you worry that way,” Dex added with a hard nod. “So selfish.”

  Sebastian’s gaze cut to him. “Do not start with me.”

  Dex lifted his hands. “This feels like a private conversation. I’ll give you a minute—or five—then come back so that Alyssa and I can finish our discussion.” His stare swept back to her. “I meant what I said.”

  He wanted her to be a spy?

  “No.” Sebastian shook his head. “Absolutely not. She is not interested so go ahead and walk away.”

  That was it. Alyssa let go of the chair and jumped to her feet. “You don’t know what I’m interested in!”

  “You want to be a spy?”

  Dex began to sidle away
.

  “Maybe,” Alyssa snapped. “Not like I’ve considered it before. But Dex says I have a flare for it.”

  Dex was almost at the door. He stiffened. Glanced back. “I don’t think I used the word flare. I did say that you were a nice shot. You are.”

  Sebastian blocked her view of Dex. “Because you shot that bastard to save me.”

  “Yes. And I didn’t even get a thank you.” Scratch that. What was she saying? She squeezed her eyes shut. “I don’t want a thank you. I just wanted you to be okay, and I was going crazy being away from you.” Her eyes opened. Accusingly, she charged, “You sent me away.”

  Pain flashed on his face. “I am not good for you.”

  “Who says I want you to be good?”

  He frowned.

  Wait. Wrong words. She’d blurted the wrong stuff. “You are good for me, all right? I feel good when I’m with you.”

  “You’re running for your life when you’re with me.”

  “And who is protecting me? Who’s watching out for me? It’s not Dex. He’s waving me around like a red flag and basically shouting, ‘Come and get her! Bait over here!’” She craned around Sebastian so that she could glower at Dex, but he was gone. The door was closed again. It was just her and Sebastian. Good.

  “You could have been killed because I brought you close to me.” Sebastian’s voice was so wooden. “That can’t happen. I can’t put you at risk. I won’t. I—”

  “Stop.” Her stomach had just twisted into a very unpleasant knot. “If this is the scene where you say that you’re going to leave me in order to protect me, you stop right there.”

  He stopped.

  “Because that crap doesn’t work. You leave me, then guess what? Suddenly I don’t have my own personal spy at my beck and call.”

  “That’s…true,” he spoke haltingly. “But…beck and call? I mean, is that really—”

  “If I called you and told you that I was in trouble, what would you do?”

  “Run to you.” An immediate reply.

  The right reply. “That’s what I’d do for you, too.”

  The faint lines near his eyes deepened. “The kind of danger I face is different than what’s normally in your world. It’s deadly. You never would have been targeted at all if it wasn’t for me.”

  “You mean if it wasn’t for the fact that you and my brother are spies?” She tilted her head. “Are you sure about that? Because Isla and Nico and I were talking—see, we had a whole long time to chat while I was waiting in this room for you to come and show me that you weren’t dead.”

  He winced.

  “They told me the guys arrested had rap sheets that stretched for days. That they sold out their services to the highest bidder. Call me crazy, but it seems odd for your super spy enemies to hire out the job to local thugs.” Pair that up with what Dex had told her about the thugs rushing to the safe house only after Sebastian had arrived…

  At her words, Sebastian’s face went blank.

  “You’re not calling me crazy,” she pointed out.

  “You’ve never been crazy a day in your life. Keep talking.”

  “Well, okay. Since you’re here…finally.” She would share all of the ideas she’d had. “I swear, I can’t help but wonder if this whole mess might not be about the spy game at all. Sure, the first text came to you saying that Antony’s cover was blown, but…other than that reference, why are we so sure it’s about spy town?”

  “Spy town?”

  “You got the text during your big PR launch. You had to leave the launch and rush to my side—which was very nice, by the way. It’s one of the reasons I’m not super pissed at you for leaving me hanging in Winston’s office for so long.”

  His hand lifted, as if he’d touch her, but then his fingers clenched.

  What was up with that? She wanted him to touch her. Alyssa soldiered on and said, “When you left the PR launch, it caused quite the stir. At least, that’s what seems to have happened on social media.”

  “Yeah. But my team had the situation under control. They did their job.”

  “Still, when both of the big bosses cut out, that makes the company seem…a little uncertain, doesn’t it? Antony wasn’t there. You rushed away…” She could see he was understanding where this train of thought was leading. “Maybe someone wanted Shark Gaming and Design to appear unstable.”

  His gaze seemed to peer right through her. “Antony was shot at while he was on Shark Gaming and Design property.”

  “That hit wasn’t aimed at me, not at all. And then the guys who stormed Dex’s safe house? They only arrived after you got there. As in, right after you. The timing was suspicious to me.” Dex’s information had just helped to deepen her worries that this might not be about spy secrets.

  “Timing.” He frowned. Reached for the pocket of his jeans, as if he were searching for something.

  For the first time, she actually focused on what he was wearing. She’d been so happy to see him a moment before that she hadn’t really taken in all of the details.

  Now, she saw that his jeans and sneakers were stained with what looked like soot. He wore an Asheville PD t-shirt that stretched across his powerful chest.

  He tapped his front pocket again. “Lost my phone. Probably dropped it at the safe house.”

  “I doubt you’ll be getting that back anytime soon. It could be completely destroyed. I’m sure you can get another.” She slipped closer to him. “Most things are replaceable.”

  His head lifted. “You’re not.”

  Alyssa tensed.

  “Not that you’re a thing. You’re not a thing. You’re a person. The most important person in my life. The only one I can’t let down.”

  That sounded promising. She put her hands on his chest.

  “I’m so wrong for you,” he told her. His voice had gone ragged. “Antony had that part right from the very beginning.”

  “No, he didn’t.” She wanted his mouth. She wanted to kiss him and pretend that everything was all right, just for a little while.

  “I bring danger with me. You don’t need danger.”

  “Did you see me screaming my head off?”

  “No. Not even when I had us scaling down the wall.”

  “Did you see me abandoning you? Trying to save myself?”

  “No. No, dammit, you—”

  “I fought for you. You would fight for me. I get that I don’t have super ninja skills, but don’t act like I can’t handle a little bit of danger. Not saying I want us getting shot at every day, but…” She rose onto her tiptoes. “I know what I’m getting with you. I accept any risks.”

  Her lips pressed to his. For a moment, his mouth softened beneath hers. His lips started to part—

  “No.” His hands closed around hers, and he gently, but very firmly, pushed her back. “I can’t take the chance. I can’t stand the idea that something could happen to you. I have to keep you safe.” Each word was low and guttural. “I’m sorry. I should have kept my hands off you from the beginning. Fucking fantasy.”

  “I’m not a fantasy. I’m flesh and blood. So are you. Neither one of us can ever be called perfect, and that’s good. Real life will never be perfect. It’s messy and it’s scary and it’s crazy, and, yes, sometimes, it’s dangerous. But sometimes, real life is all about happiness. There’s so much joy you can’t stand it.” Did he get what she was saying? “I can handle the good and the bad.” With him, for him, she’d handle anything.

  His gaze dropped. “What if you get tired of dealing with my bad?”

  Her spine straightened. “Is that what you’re worried about? That I’ll get tired of the drama that surrounds you, and I’ll leave?”

  “I’m worried I can’t protect you. I’m worried—” His gaze rose. Pinned her. “I’m worried that I will love you so much I can’t breathe without you. I won’t be able to protect you or you’ll get tired of the danger that stalks me, and you’ll leave, and then I won’t know how to live without you.”


  Her chest warmed. Those intense, rumbling words were just pure Sebastian.

  He cursed. “Now I’ve probably scared you. I’m sorry. You never got how much I wanted you. How much every single time I was near you, I just wanted to pull you into my arms.”

  She looked around. “I’m near you now, but you just pushed me away.”

  “Because I’m trying to do the right thing—”

  “If you were doing the right thing, you’d be kissing me now. You’d be lifting me up, sweeping everything off Winston’s desk, and making love to me.” She put her hands on her hips. “That’s what you’d be doing instead of this whole BS routine. I mean, really, what’s the point of it? Is it a test? You think I’ll walk? Not happening. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that will never happen. Know why? Simple. Because I’m in this for the long haul with you. I’m not going to get scared away. I know what you are—I know who you are—and I’m standing with you.”

  He blinked. His face…hardened.

  He didn’t say anything.

  That was unfortunate. He’d been so intense before. She’d rather thought for sure he’d come back with his own big declaration. Or, maybe she’d just hoped that he would.

  “You shouldn’t have said that,” he rasped.

  “Well, we both know I have a tendency to blurt out what I’m thinking.” She shrugged. “Sue me.”

  “I’d rather fuck you.”

  Alyssa glanced over at the desk. “Ahem.”

  “You shouldn’t have said that.” He pulled her tightly against him.

  “Why not?”

  “Because I was trying to give you up.” His hands curled around her waist. He lifted her up. Swept some stuff off Winston’s desk. Put her on top. Spread her legs. Stepped between them.

  “Wh-why would you want to give me up? Why were you trying to do that?”

  “Because if I didn’t let you go now, I’d never be able to do it. And when you tried to leave later, when you got sick of the spy game, what was I supposed to—”

  She put a fingertip over his lips. “You worry too much.”

  His tongue came out. Licked her finger.

  A shiver slid over Alyssa’s body. “How many times do I have to say it? I’m not going any place.” Her voice had grown husky. “Neither are you. We’re in this together, from here on out. I mean, didn’t you hear Dex? I’d make a killer spy.”