Which meant she’d fit right in with their psycho family. If Talon ever made a move. Just like Trystan, he seemed hell bent on staying clear of anything that smelled of forever.
Amanda wiped all emotion from her face just like she smacked away the thought of her asshole mate.
“One could hope.” Amanda opened the lazy Susan in the corner cabinet and grabbed the huge basket with her baking supplies.
She wasn’t sure this strike would go as planned. Their lower numbers meant they had to fight more often than they should. They were worn out. Most had sustained serious injuries that had taken more magic to heal than they’d ever had to use before. Not to mention, for a few of them, their personal lives were a mess and beginning to bleed over into other areas of their lives.
Of course, that took her thoughts straight back into the forbidden territory she’d just left.
Trystan Quinn.
That familiar ache set up in her chest.
Reagan kept chopping like a mad woman, the cuts precise and uniform. She was certainly talented with a blade. “I’m thinking from the look on your face, the battle isn’t the biggest thing on your mind.” Reagan slid the vegetables into a boiling pot. “You know, you could ask him why he won’t claim you. Males can be stupid when it comes to that stuff. You keep running back to him, and he’ll assume you’re fine with the way things are.”
Amanda took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. She did not want to have this conversation. She had to forget about Trystan and what they could’ve had. End of story.
“That won’t be happening anymore. Besides, I’m not a fit mate for anyone now.” She ignored Reagan’s sidelong glance. “Drop it, Rea.” She cracked two eggs into a large bowl. “Why don’t we talk about you and Talon?”
The only thing other than fighting and cooking that excited Reagan was Talon. Reagan’s eyes lit up, her emotions went crazy, and her smile took over her face when Talon came around. Luckily for Reagan, he seemed to share her feelings. Though Amanda had no idea why neither seemed to have done anything about it. She was an empath. Not a mind reader.
Or at least, she had been an empath. Until her hell bitch sister had ripped that talent away with the rest of Amanda’s magic.
Reagan shoved a pan of biscuits into the oven and slammed the door. Then she whirled on Amanda. Fire blazed in the red head’s eyes and uncharacteristic rage vibrated from her. Reagan’s muscles bunched as if to lunge and her fists clenched. Amanda instinctively raised her hand, ready to throw magic. Then she dropped her palm.
It no longer held any power.
She couldn’t even protect herself from a pup now, let alone a warrior.
Reagan glanced at Amanda’s hand. The all too familiar look of sympathy crossed her face. Reagan shoved her curls out of her eyes. “Sorry.” She blew out a forceful breath. “I think your brother is dumber than Trystan. I’ve done all but jump him and drag him to my bed and he still won’t make a move.”
Amanda snickered. “Then maybe you should take your own advice and flat out tell him you want him.”
Reagan snorted. “The iongantach probably wouldn’t even get it then!” She tossed her hands in the air before checking the gumbo again. “Maybe he’s gay.” She again whirled on Amanda. For the first time ever, Amanda saw indecision and uncertainty on the female’s features. “Am I the stupid one? Am I reading him all wrong?”
Amanda bit her lip to keep from laughing. She knew for a fact Talon wasn’t gay. Granted, she'd only seen him sneak a total of two women into his room. She’d thought for a while he might be gay and didn’t want to tell them, so she’d followed him a few times. She wanted to make sure before she came out and told him she was cool with it.
As it turned out, he usually went for females from other packs. One and done. He never actually dated them, and he certainly never brought them home to meet the family. But all he’d ever been with that she’d seen was women.
“No, he’s definitely not gay. And you’re not stupid.” Amanda turned on the mixer. “He wants you just as much as you want him.”
Amanda hadn’t worked out why he hid his trysts, or why he’d been trying to hide his feelings for Reagan. She’d thought about asking him, but prying into her brother’s love life wasn’t her idea of fun.
Reagan perked up. “How do you know? Has he said anything?” The female looked startled at the words that had come out of her mouth and swerved back to the stove. “Never mind. Now I’m acting like an idiotic teenager.” She stared off into space. “There’s just something...different about him. I can’t stop thinking about him. Can’t stop wanting him. I─” Her face flushed. “I can’t believe I just told you that.”
Sympathy twisted Amanda’s heart. She turned the mixer off and went to Reagan, laying a hand on her shoulder. “Reagan, do you think he could be your─”
“Miss Amanda, Miss Reagan!” Adrianna’s voice shrieked as she barreled into the room. “Is supper ready? I’m starvin’!”
The little girl and her two brothers rushed into the kitchen like little tornadoes, tracking mud everywhere. Amanda squeezed Reagan’s shoulder and gave her a look promising they’d continue the conversation later. Reagan had already gone back to her usual cheerful disposition, grinning at the invaders.
Amanda whisked Adrianna up into her arms. The pup was the cutest thing ever in her yellow sun dress, bare, dirty feet, and tiara. She’d taken to Adrianna right away, even before the little seer had told her that in the future, she saw Amanda shooting fire, but that her hair was different. That it had silver in it. Amanda was scared to hope that the vision could be true, but couldn’t quite stop herself.
“It’ll be ready in a few minutes. Why don’t you all get cleaned─”
“Are you making cookies?” Adrianna about toppled them both as she leaned over to see into the mixing bowl. “Do they have chocolate? I love chocolate. It’s my favoritist ever.” The tiny female focused on Amanda, quite serious. “Mama used to make them sometimes. Not anymore since we had to go away. She has to fight a lot. Papa too. They’re protecting us from the mean man.” She took Amanda’s face in her muddy, chubby hands. “But the bad man won’t win. You know why?”
Amanda swallowed hard. “Why is that, leannan?”
“Because in all the stories, the Morrigan and her two sisters always beat the bad men. Papa says so.”
Tears climbed up Amanda’s throat and threatened to seep out her eyes. She closed them and kissed Adrianna on the forehead. “Is that so?”
One could only hope. But even if she had her magic back, there would only be two of them battling Kylian. Not three. Brianna was lost to them forever.
“Miss Amanda, don’t cry.” Amanda opened her eyes to see Adrianna shaking her head, looking as stern as a tiny five-year-old could. “Your mean sister won’t always be mean. But,” her little nose scrunched up and she closed her eyes. “It’s kinda foggy around her.” Her eyes popped open. “But the king and the princess win. They always do.”
The certainty with which the little wolf spoke threatened to infect Amanda. She reined in her hope. Young seers didn’t know how to focus their visions. Often what they saw was a jumble, and they picked out the pieces they liked. But a part of her wanted to believe.
She kissed Adrianna on the cheek. “I hope you’re right, little one.” Amanda set Adrianna on her feet and patted her bottom. “Now go wash up for dinner and make sure your brothers haven’t made a mess.”
Adrianna scampered off, yelling at her siblings like a queen giving orders.
Amanda went back to her cookies, ignoring the probing glances from Reagan.
Reagan spoke up anyway. “She could be right. That little one is highly gifted.”
Yeah. Half a day with her and Amanda knew that. The little wolf had made the rounds, meeting everyone and sometimes giving them bits of the visions she saw of them. The pup was special, no doubt about it.
“Let’s hope she is.”
If she wasn’t, Amanda wasn’t sure how much
longer she could bear watching her family and pack move on with their lives while she stagnated. She certainly couldn’t watch Trystan and the females who would warm his bed. If something didn’t change, she’d have to leave the pack.
She prayed to the gods that day would never come, but couldn’t silence the voice in her head that told her it was inevitable.
CHAPTER SIX
Never Forever
“So how are you doing with all this?” Makenna sidled up to Trystan a couple miles from the target camp. He knew she wasn’t talking about the coming battle.
Trystan actually liked his Alpha female. The hostility he’d held was gone. She hadn’t done what she’d done as Three under her own will. His pain had kept him from seeing that. Now, he found her dark humor and foul mouth oddly comforting. She didn’t pressure him. She just listened. He also knew what was said between them would stay that way.
“I’ll be fine. She ended things. It’s what she wants, so I’ll respect that.”
“Losing her magic has affected her more than we realized. Give her some space. She may change her mind.”
Trystan frowned. “I doubt that. I can’t give─”
Rhys appeared at Makenna’s side. “Trys, you, me, and Talon will take out the perimeter guards. Quick and quiet.” Remorse shadowed his eyes. “Make it permanent.”
“Understood.” That familiar sorrow echoed in Trystan’s chest.
Fighting their own people went against everything in him. But he was Beta. It was his duty to do the jobs no one else wanted. To take care of threats against their clan. He’d do what he had to in order to protect his pack.
Rhys gave Makenna a quick kiss. “You and the rest of the pack meet us near the gate.” He gave her a look of such love that Trystan’s heart lurched with envy. “Be careful, Kenna. Only engage before we get there if necessary.”
Makenna held up a hand. Trystan didn’t miss the flash of fire in her eyes. “I got it.” She nodded at Trystan before melting into the woods with the rest of the pack.
Trystan, Rhys, and Talon split up. Trystan sensed the enemy before he saw him. His broad back to Trystan and upwind, his foe hadn’t sensed him yet. Good. It’d be easier if Trystan didn’t have to look him in the eyes. He pulled the blade from his belt.
Setting aside his humanity, Trystan stalked his prey as the male paced. When the wolf stopped, Trystan made his move. He locked an arm around him from behind, preventing the male from raising his weapon. Trystan quickly dragged his blade across the male’s throat, pushing the shocked wolf face first to the ground.
Two strokes of his knife severed the head. Blood squirted, covering Trystan’s arms. The head rolled to the side as the body sagged beneath him. Wide, fixed eyes met Trystan’s as it jerked to a stop against a tree. He immediately began searching for his next target.
There was no place for mercy or guilt in this war.
Trystan took out two more guards before joining the others.
Rhys motioned Bowen to the front gate and the other mage, Dalton, to the back of the camp. Warriors followed them. At Rhys’ signal, both gates blew at the same time.
Adrenaline surged through Trystan. So it began.
He rushed through the front gate, keeping close to Makenna. Her face twisted with wild savagery. He would’ve appreciated it, except for the reckless, angry vibe he felt from her. He’d stay near to make sure she didn’t get lost in it and get herself or others killed.
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her. He knew what it was like to have an evil father you wanted dead. Understood how the need for vengeance could blot out strategy and caution.
He gutted a warrior who’d tried to take Makenna from behind. She nodded her thanks before engaging the next enemy. Trystan stayed with her, Rhys at her other side, mowing down anyone who came close.
Blood flew, heads toppled to the ground followed by their bodies. The stench of death, smoke, and pain filled the air with the yells and cries of agony.
The pile of Fianna on the ground around Trystan grew. Keeping a tally he’d rather ignore. He swerved to the left to avoid the blast of red flame from Makenna’s fingers that lit the pile on fire, extinguishing the evidence of his slaughter. He refused to think about the brothers and sister he’d just ended. Refused to feel pity. Refused to feel at all.
A haze had fallen over him, washing away any remaining humanity. He embraced it, embraced the power, and let out a battle yell that both startled and charged the warriors around him. They went after their targets with renewed vigor.
This was who he was. A warrior.
The thrill of the battle, the smell of blood and victory, helped cover the pain of losing his mate. The agony he shared with Amanda at her condition.
Fate had also made him a vicious fighter, given him an animalistic nature he just now fully understood.
Trystan lost himself to it. Became the killer. The animal. His wolf howled within him, joining him in the furious glory of battle, yet still mourning the loss.
He shoved grief aside, unleashing his pain on the enemy.
Trystan threw his dark yellow magic almost as fast as he swung his blade. The blood of his foes covering his leathers, his skin, he plowed through the opposing line.
A powerful blast hit him from the back, throwing him forward. Barbed magic like nails embedded in his flesh. He fell to his knees. Air whispered as a blade swung inches from his head. It was Rhys, slicing through the warrior who’d downed Trystan. The grisly sight barely registered as heat blasted his skin, magic swirling and churning underneath.
Makenna encased him in red flame. It was strangely soothing. The intent behind the magic changed everything. Her power doused the fury of the enemy’s fire.
Trystan drew a deep breath and rose to his feet. “Thanks.”
He turned to throat punch his next victim. The gasping male grabbed his neck. Trystan thrust his blade into his abdomen, twisting. He withdrew and shoved the soldier back. Another quick slice and the male fell to the ground in two pieces.
Steel cut into Trystan’s shoulder from behind. Shit. His sword arm.
He was caught from the side by another blow. The blade nicked his lung and air left him in a loud whoosh. As he gasped, he swung. A yellow cloud enveloped him as he forced his magic to the surface. His grip slid on the hilt of his blade as blood ran freely down his arm.
Roaring in fury, he whirled to see Rhys engaged on the other side of the camp, and Makenna spinning as she threw dark red flame, razing enemies left and right.
She was in her own world. Her laugh bordered on insane as she tore into the soldiers with both magic and steel. She didn’t see the warrior standing at a distance to her right, powering up. Deep orange, spiked magic formed a brutal looking ball of fury, no doubt amped up by Brianna’s power. Only, this didn’t look like normal magic laced with extra potency.
There was something different about it. A strange scent, with an odd mix of colors Trystan had never seen. It morphed and churned in her hands, looking alive. That could only mean it had a spell attached to it. Perhaps it was meant to drain Makenna’s power. He couldn’t let that blast hit his Alpha female.
Rhys was too far away. Trystan would never make it to the enemy in time either. The rest of their pack was fully engaged. There was only one thing he could do. Take the blow himself.
Trystan dove just as the female threw two powerful blasts, one right after the other.
The impact to his midsection lifted him off the ground. The blast to his head scrambled his brain like eggs in a bowl and wrenched his neck sharply to the left.
Makenna screamed. Rhys roared.
A silent scream sucked Trystan’s breath away as he slammed into gravel and dirt. Pain dug into him like a thousand whirling bits from a power drill. The magic tore his skin as it burrowed in deep. The heat was unbearable.
This was how he would die. Protecting his Alpha. It was a noble death.
His thoughts went to Amanda as he writhed on the ground, his organs cooking. Hi
s wolf let out a howl, a bone shattering cry of agony. He should’ve done better by her. Should’ve trusted her with the truth. She deserved more than him. At least he’d told her he loved her.
She’d said she loved him.
Those words from Amanda’s lips echoed in his mind as Makenna’s magic enveloped him. Her power cooled the inferno somewhat, but with the little coherence he had left, he knew it wouldn’t be enough.
By the time they got him to the healers it would be too late.
Bruised, bloody faces swam in his vision. His pack, gathering around him. The enemy must have been destroyed.
The darkness grew with a life of its own, blotting out the sun.
Rhys and Makenna spoke to him, but he didn’t understand. Trystan faintly sensed their concern through the pack link. Barely noticed the worried, sorrowful look they exchanged.
Magic raced through his blood. Foreign magic. Evil. Twisted. It stung like a hive of fire ants biting from within.
This must’ve been what Amanda felt when Brianna hit her with that spell. He couldn’t summon the strength to mourn what was happening. The only thing he mourned was the loss of the one person made for him. The one thing in this world that should have been his forever.
Amanda.
As Rhys shouted orders and tossed Trystan over his shoulder, all he could see was Amanda’s beautiful face. It consumed his vision. The agony in his body became so fierce his brain was shutting down, shutting out the pain. He was going into shock. Fucking fantastic.
Any moment he’d pass out and never have the chance to see her again. To tell her his twisted story or give her the explanation she deserved. To hope one day he could break the curse and claim his mate.
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