If she couldn’t, there was no hope for them.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Break In
Just when Makenna thought her life couldn’t be any more fucked up, something jumped up and bit her on the ass.
She stared out the window as the scenery flew by. Normally the warm, salty breeze blowing off Lake Pontchartrain soothed her. Nothing could calm the torment ripping her apart. A couple months ago, Rhys could’ve. She would’ve sworn it was them against the cruel world.
Now, she wasn’t so sure.
Everything was so screwed up. She was a little shrimp boat on the Gulf, getting slammed by wicked waves. No port, no dock to cling to. All she had was the small hope Rhys had kindled by dropping everything to run away with her. It was a light on the shore. Dim and hard to see through the fog. But he was there.
Makenna glanced over at him. He was singing along with the radio he’d cranked up. For her, she knew. Rhys was fine with silence. She wasn’t. He’d learned quickly that music soothed her. Oddly enough, the harder the better. A small smile cracked Makenna’s frozen face as he belted out Halestorm’s Mayhem. Well, some of it. The rest of the words he made up. A laugh bubbled up. The man sounded like a bag of screeching cats being banged against a wall.
It was the best thing she’d heard in months.
Rhys cut her a glance. “Hey, I’m not that bad. I can rock out when I want to.”
“Sure you can.” Makenna laughed harder.
It welled up like a tidal wave. Maybe it was because of Rhys. Or maybe she’d jumped off the cliff into bat shit crazy territory. Whatever it was, she grabbed on to it like a life preserver. She held her aching stomach as the laughter rolled out of her. Tears ran down her face. She could barely get her breath.
Grinning, Rhys sang louder. He rocked his head forward and back and slung it around. Apparently, the head banging lesson she’d given as they relaxed in their room one night had been pointless.
“God, Rhys, you shouldn’t do that. Just stop. Please.” The words were broken by the laughter that made her face hurt in the best way.
“Come on.” He laughed, his brown eyes shining. “I got skills, baby.” Rhys shook his hips in the seat and popped his eyebrows.
That sent Makenna into a whole new fit of laughter. After several minutes, she slowed down and wiped her eyes. She took a deep breath as she looked out the window.
They’d turned on a gravel road just past the lake. An old truck was parked on the shore. A tall, dark-haired man was on his knees on the bank. A tiny girl with hair just like his stood beside him, wrestling a fishing pole. The man had one arm around her and one hand on the pole above the reel, helping her pull in a fish. The man caught the line as she reeled it in and held the fish out to her. The little girl reached for her prize, then pulled her hand back as it flopped, squealing. The man dropped a kiss on her forehead, grinning from ear to ear.
Makenna didn’t try to stop the tears as her joy of a few moments ago slipped away. Jealousy rose even as she smiled. Happy the little girl had what Makenna had never known.
Rhys’ rough, large hand closed over hers. “Kenna?”
She pointed to the scene, unable to speak. All the heartbreak, the lies, everything she’d missed out on, suffocated her. She gasped, fighting for air.
Rhys’ grip tightened. His thumb rubbed her knuckles as the truck jostled and bumped along the path that grew rougher as they drove deeper into the woods. Away from civilization. Away from the scene that ripped her guts out.
Makenna’s eyes glazed over. Searching for memories, she plumbed her brain. She could find nothing of her parents or her siblings. Her aunt and uncle had been kind and loving, but the short time she’d been with them hadn’t been long enough to form memories. Then they’d been torn away. Slaughtered as she watched from behind the vent.
They’d lied to her too. Just like her father.
Bowen was her father.
The truck rolled to a stop. Makenna looked around. They’d been driving for two hours. Now they were here. Wherever here was. Willows bent and swayed in the wind. They really did look like they were weeping. The movement fit her mood.
But what caught her attention were the scattered, charred remains of buildings. In a large clearing surrounded by trees, as if it had been carved out of the forest, the ghosts of a village stood. Houses and smaller cabins. Now only pieces of what was once home to someone, many someones, they rose from the waving weeds. Broken and battered, they mourned. Mourned the beauty that’d once been theirs. The laughter and voices that had once rang out within their walls. They grieved the families they had once sheltered. Their sadness gripped her as an overwhelming sense of familiarity shook her.
She’d been here before. She’d been happy here.
Makenna sucked in a sharp breath and swiveled to look at Rhys. “Where are we?”
“This is where we were born, Kenna.” Rhys smiled sadly as he squeezed her hand. “We’re home. Our first home.”
He tugged her across the seat and she went along, shock stealing her ability to move on her own. Rhys stepped from the truck and pulled her with him, securing an arm around her as he shut the door. He swallowed hard.
“I thought maybe that,” he looked at his feet as he shuffled them. “I hoped being here might help you remember. Maybe put some of the missing pieces together.” He pulled her to him. Slowly. As if he were afraid she’d shrink away. “I was hoping you’d find some good memories. Maybe even remember me from back then.”
His sheepish smile had her tears welling again. He was doing the only thing he knew to try and bring her some peace. This sweet side of him gripped her heart in a tight fist. Truth, a knowledge so pure it had to be real, grabbed her by the throat.
He really did love her.
“Thank you.” The words squeaked out. Then fear tightened her throat. “What about Kylian? He knows this place. What if he finds us?” Panic had her tugging Rhys back toward the truck.
Rhys stopped her, securing his arms around her. “I texted Bowen when we stopped for gas and had him magically scan the area. There’s been no activity here for decades.” His gaze clouded with anger and pain. “Not since Kylian burned it to the ground.” He lifted her chin. “You’re safe, Kenna. I wouldn’t bring you here otherwise.”
Makenna looked into eyes that begged for her trust. In this, she could give it. “I know.”
She wanted so badly to put all her faith in him, but a part of her wouldn’t allow it. The part that’d spent her whole life protecting her heart from a cruel world.
She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and slipped out of his arms. As much as she wanted to melt into him, the goddess was pacing. She’d perked up, as had her wolf and raven, as soon as the scents around her had wafted to her nose. The goddess cast sharp eyes around, looking for a threat. Her animals seemed merely curious. As was she.
Would Rhys’ idea work? There was only one way to find out.
Makenna strolled through the ruins, taking in every detail. She wandered the charred beams until she came to a stop in front of what looked to have been one of the larger homes. Something had drawn her here, and she went with it. Standing near the broken and burned lumber that had been a porch, Makenna closed her eyes. She saw the house as it had been.
A little boy chased two girls out the door. Talon chasing her and Brianna. A dark-haired toddler wobbled on chunky legs, not able to catch up but trying valiantly. Makenna smiled. Amanda fell on her diapered bottom, laughing. She watched the other children, clapping chubby hands. Little Makenna and Brianna tackled a much bigger Talon. They fell to the ground in a giggling tangle. Talon grabbed them each under his arms and rose. He tickled their bellies before setting them down.
The girls scoured the yard, picking flowers. Talon sauntered off, joining a group of boys. The girls ran to the porch, each handing a flower to Amanda. She promptly put both of them in her mouth and smiled up at them, the stems hanging from her rosy lips.
A woman’s laughte
r tinkled. The woman smiled as she took in the sight on the porch. The two girls wrapped themselves around her legs and the woman hugged them to her, kissing their heads.
She was the most beautiful thing Makenna had ever seen. Silky, flowing black hair. Graceful and lithe, with toned arms that could swing a sword with ease or cradle her babies with love. And her eyes. They were as dark as Makenna’s, glimmering with happiness and a sparkle that was all Meredith. Makenna sucked in a breath as the memory became so real, she could smell the woman’s sage and lemon scent.
Her mother.
She opened watery eyes. “This was our house.” She nodded at the burned-out structure. “I saw her, Rhys. She stood there.” Makenna pointed at the porch. “She loved us so much.”
Rhys’ arms came around her. “Yes, she did.” His voice was thick and rough. “She was kind. And she baked the best cookies in the world.” A small chuckle escaped. “You pups were her world.” He stiffened, and his words became harsher. “Thankfully, Kylian was gone much of the time. For the most part, this was a happy house. At least, when he wasn’t here.”
Rhys’ hands rubbed up and down her arms as she soaked in his words. She wanted every detail he could remember, good and bad. She wanted that part of her life back.
She turned to look at him. Her heart sped up. “And Bowen, where did he live?”
Rhys exhaled harshly. “I don’t know where he lived before, but I was really little when he came to our pack.” He took her hand and led her toward the woods. “Your mother would bring some of us pups out here several days a week. It was quiet, away from all the training and talk of beasts and battle. We would start training soon enough, but she was determined we have peaceful childhoods.” He moved branches out of the way as they walked through the trees. “Meredith was a natural teacher. She showed us all the plants and their names. In Latin, of course.” He chuckled again as they skirted low branches. “Bowen helped us with our magic. It was fun to pretend we were powerful mages, protecting the pack.”
They stopped at the edge of a small opening in the trees. A beautiful meadow lay before her. A small cabin sat to their right, nestled between two huge willows.
Makenna sucked in a sharp breath, her heart pounding. “This is the place I remembered!”
She let go of Rhys’ hand and stepped forward. The tears that had never really gone away flowed again and she squeezed her eyes shut. The veil in her mind lifted and memories rushed in. She could see the faces of the man and woman as they chased the children around the meadow.
Bowen and Meredith. Smiling and laughing, ecstatic at being able to be together with their children.
She opened her eyes and turned to Rhys. “She used to bring us here for supper sometimes. It felt like a real home. So different from when Kylian was around. We were happy here.” She gazed at the remaining pieces of the cabin. “I was happy here.”
Rhys pulled her back to his chest and kissed her ear. “Aye.” He lapsed into his brogue. “You were, love. We all were.”
They stood for a while, remembering.
Finally, he took her hand. “I want to show you something else.”
He guided her back into the woods, but away from the main camp. They walked for several minutes before he stopped beside the rushing creek.
“This was my favorite spot. One day, you wandered out here and found me. I scolded you for being so far from camp alone. You said you weren’t scared, that you knew I’d protect you.” He put his hands on her waist. “We never talked about it. We were too young to understand. But we knew, even then.” He tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. Then he gripped her cheeks. “We’ve belonged to each other since before birth, Kenna. And I will do anything to keep you. Just tell me what you need. Tell me how I get through that shield around your amazing heart.”
Makenna melted at the heartbreak in his voice. He opened himself up, baring his soul. She saw herself in the deepest recesses. If he lost her, he would wither. The throne, the pack, victory. None of it came close to being as important to him as she was. He’d give it all up if she asked. Walk away from all he’d known if it was what he had to do to keep her in his life.
Without her, his world stopped.
A shiver wracked her body. She’d never been essential to someone. Never been the one thing that made their life worth living.
He was the same for her. If she lost him, she’d be a shell. Only existing. A ghost of what she’d been. The goddess, the wolf, the raven, they would all shrivel and die without their other half. Without the one being in the world who knew all of them, and loved them still.
“Rhys.” He deserved to know why she’d refused him. Why she’d hidden part of herself. She swallowed hard. “I’ve never had someone to count on. That I could remember. I mean, I had Labeaux, but I didn’t trust him completely. I kept him at a distance.” She met his tortured gaze. “I don’t know how to trust. I’ve never had anyone to trust. They all got ripped away. And when I found out where I came from, who I thought my father was, the goddess took over. She was so angry. I couldn’t stop it. I thought that meant─”
“Kenna, you don’t have to do this. Not today. It can wait.” His eyes plainly said he wanted to know, but didn’t want her to lose the happiness she’d found in remembering.
“You need to know. I thought I was evil. I was afraid I’d hurt you. That the goddess would hurt you.” Makenna sniffed loudly and wiped her eyes. “When you started to pull away, I was so pissed at you.” She sniffled. “But then I thought maybe it was for the best. I couldn’t hurt you and you couldn’t hurt me if we didn’t get too close.”
“I’m so sorry, love.” He caressed her cheeks with his thumbs. “I was trying to keep you safe and I went about it all wrong. You were so angry and hurting.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t help you and I hated it. I felt so powerless. I couldn’t help my own mate.”
“I get it. I just...” She swallowed hard. “I’m scared, Rhys.” She’d never admitted that to anyone. “And I’m pissed. At Kylian and Brianna, now at Bowen. He handed my mother to Kylian, let her die, then lied to us. All this time, I had a family. And even when I came back, he didn’t say a damn word. Just let me believe...” Makenna stuttered to a stop, dissolving into a sob. She pounded her fists against his chest, though he wasn’t the one she wanted to hit. She tried to step away. “I’m sorry. It’s not you. I can’t─”
Rhys pulled her close as one sob turned into another, wracking her body. “Shh. I know, love. Take it out on me if you have to.” He held her close as she gripped his shirt in her fists.
“What if you get taken away from me too? What if I give you everything and you die or leave?” Makenna’s breath hitched. “The other day you said the mating could be undone.” She pushed away. If he wanted to go, she’d deal. But she hoped with all her heart what she felt from him was true. “If you want out, tell me now.”
Rhys grabbed her by the shoulders. “Kenna, I said that because I was angry. Losing you is the last thing I want.” His face settled, determination taking over. “I can’t let you go. I’ll do anything you ask, anything, but I won’t give you up. I can’t.” His voice broke.
“I don’t want to go. I want you, Rhys. I need you.”
Makenna’s soul settled as she spoke her truth. The anxiety that’d been twisting her in knots eased. He still wanted her. If she’d taken down her shields before now, she would’ve sensed that. But she’d let everything else close her off from the one person who could’ve helped her the most. If she’d only let him.
No more. No more doubt. No more holding back. He was the one thing she could count on. He’d earned her trust on every level.
Makenna slid her hands to his waist. Holding his gaze, she dropped every shield she had in place. She opened her heart, her soul to him, like she’d never done before. His eyes widened as she poured into him. All her thoughts, hopes, fears, and dreams. All her insecurities and pain. She was naked to him for the first time. His love washed over her with a passi
on, an honesty she’d never known.
Now knowing full well the gravity of the action, Makenna tipped her head back and offered him her throat.
Rhys sucked in a breath. His emotions rushed over her in a flood. He was humbled by her display. Determined to never break the pure trust she gave him. His warm lips made contact with her throat a second before his fangs sank deep. Marking her. Claiming her all over again.
Makenna gasped. Rhys pulled her into male hardness. Into unfettered love. Home. She wove her hand in his hair and held him to her. He growled, the rumble vibrating against her skin, lightning shooting straight to her heart, then her core. She let her own teeth drop, burying them in the side of his neck. Craving hit her blood as his life force seeped into her. A need unlike any she’d ever known. More than the first time they’d come together or since. Her need for him was a fire in her bones. Sparks shot behind her eyes.
Rhys took her to the soft grass. He settled himself between her thighs with a groan. Teeth retracted, and he licked the wound. She did the same. His mouth landed on hers. Hard and sure. Branding her with his lips just as he had with his teeth.
Rhys growled again. Rising up, he yanked her shirt over her head, then his. Another few seconds, and he had them both naked. His talented fingers found her. She arched against him and bit her lip to hold back the cry of pleasure.
“Give it to me. Give me everything.” His voice was rough against her lips. He played her body like an instrument and she broke, crying out. “That’s it, love.” Satisfaction wound into her heart from him.
“Now, Rhys,” she breathed.
“As you wish.” He grasped her hip, tilting her, and drove hard and deep. Burying himself in one thrust.
He groaned as she cried out his name. Pain and pleasure mingled as he rocked into her with no reprieve. Rhys lifted his head, holding her gaze as he took all she had, giving her everything in return. Makenna’s nails dug into his smooth back, the muscles rippling under her touch as she marked him again. In the midst of their passion, one feeling overtook them all.
Awakened Page 24