This would never last. It couldn’t. And he needed to brace himself for that reality. It would hurt, but he was stronger now. He would live.
Those thoughts were depressing, and Spencer set his head down on Olivia’s pillow, still holding her hand, probably tighter than necessary. As if he could keep a piece of her close for just a little longer…
Damon could feel the sadness in the room. It was thick with grief. Spencer had joined it now. He looked like he’d lost his best friend. So, Damon set his hand on top of Olivia’s and Spencer’s where they were gripping each other and gave a squeeze.
Damon pressed closer to Olivia’s side. She was mostly closed off from them, but she never balked at being held or snuggling into them. And he liked to be as close to her as possible, breathing in her scent. When she buried herself in the bathroom for long periods every day—probably fretting herself to death—Damon had moments with Spencer, and he tried to make those count too.
The two of them didn’t take things beyond touching and light kissing without Olivia in the room, but at least they shared some silent minutes of understanding. Damon hadn’t flattened the younger man to the wall to demonstrate his dominance and desire for Spencer in over a week, but he did lean into him close, hold his hand, stroke his face, gently kiss his neck. Anything to make sure Spencer knew he cared. A lot. Though he wasn’t entirely sure Spencer fully grasped how Damon felt, and frankly Damon didn’t have the balls to express himself with words.
It would create too much stress for Spencer—or even Olivia—for Damon to put himself out there. The last thing he wanted was to put pressure on either of them or make them feel trapped into having to proclaim some sort of commitment.
It was too soon. The circumstance of their meeting was too precarious. Expecting them to agree to see him after they got out of this mess was too much. They were young. He would need to set them free and let them make their own life choices.
He couldn’t expect either of them to be interested in pursuing a life with him. In Damon’s mind they were a package deal. But maybe Livvy and Spencer needed to carve a life for themselves without Damon. They had more in common. They were significantly younger.
Damon held his breath as his heart seized on a tiny shred of hope. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe they would both be interested in a future with him.
Committing to a life with three people was an enormous decision, though. It required a great deal of consideration and negotiation. It wasn’t for everyone. Just because Damon was lucky enough to have spent a few weeks with two people who enjoyed his kind of kink didn’t mean they were ready or willing to take it out in public.
Was he? He’d known for many years that he enjoyed the pleasures of a ménage. He’d even known he would prefer a man and a woman as his partners. And damn if these two didn’t also satisfy his need for control.
But it had never crossed his mind that he might one day find two people who would eagerly enter a committed relationship with him in real life outside of a club. It was far-fetched. Too much to hope for.
In his heart, though, if he had his way, he would take them both home, pull out a white board, and spend two weeks ironing out the logistics until he convinced them both they were his. He wanted it more than he wanted his next breath.
His head countered that it wasn’t meant to be.
First of all, he didn’t even have a home. He hadn’t owned a place in several years. He’d been wrapped up in working for Project DEEP for a long time now. He’d lived inside the bunker and buried himself in research with a team of scientists.
What could he possibly offer a younger man who had no family and no home of his own who’d been living in a small apartment while working for Blue Cell since he left high school? And a woman who had been preserved for ten years after living for only six with a new identity? She’d been a nurse, but today she would be way behind and need to reevaluate her career.
He hadn’t had time for a permanent relationship of any kind in years. The extent of his sexual adventures was limited to the occasional night at a private club where he could be himself and relax for a few hours. Having a girlfriend or a boyfriend hadn’t been in the cards. Having both long-term never even entered his reasonable mind.
Until now.
Were they too young to know their minds? He tried to remember if he could have made a commitment to anyone at the age of twenty-three, and winced. Probably not. But that didn’t mean these two weren’t more experienced and mature than he’d been at their age. Right?
Olivia pulled him out of his reverie. “Where are your parents? I’ve never even asked.”
“California. I was born and raised on the beach in Orange County.”
“Really?” Spencer lifted his face to meet Damon’s gaze in the dim light. “How did we not know this about you?”
Damon chuckled, glad to have broken the silence. “I don’t know. It never came up, I guess. After finding out you didn’t know your parents and Livvy had left her dad and taken a new identity, I guess it never seemed like a good time to point out what a fun and stress-free childhood I had with two parents and a dog.”
Both Olivia and Spencer laughed. A sweet, sweet sound that warmed Damon’s heart.
“You had a dog?” Olivia asked, twisting her face toward him. “I always wanted a dog.”
“I had several. Brutus and then Samson and then Teddy. My mom named that last one. He looked like a little bear.”
“One of my foster families had a dog. It bit me. I had to get seven stitches, and my foster father was pissed. Blamed me for messing up his afternoon plans,” Spencer added as if this were a casual thing to point out.
“Jesus,” Olivia breathed. “You need a new pet experience.”
Spencer shuddered. “I think I’m good. That was enough for me.”
Damon wasn’t sure what to say, but once again he was convinced he probably didn’t have enough in common to remain with these two long-term. Could the two of them somehow forge a relationship without him? They would need each other when this was over. No one else would ever understand what they’d been through.
Damon would be okay. He would have Ryan and Emily. He would get to know Dade and Graham better. And so many others. The entire original DEEP team felt like family to him, even the ones he hadn’t met because he’d been away from the Falling Rock bunker for over three months.
“Soooo…” Olivia started. “Spencer’s not fond of dogs. How do you feel about kids?”
Damon nearly choked. How had they moved from dogs to kids?
Spencer shrugged. “Never really thought about it. I guess they’re okay.”
She giggled. “But do you want some? Of your own, I mean.”
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
She rolled her eyes. “Men.”
Damon leaned in and gave her neck a love bite. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, as she scrunched up her neck to push him off.
“Women start thinking about how many kids they want and what they want to name them as soon as they can walk and they get their first doll. A grown man of twenty-three can look at you quizzically and say he’s never thought about it.” She gave Spencer a silly, teasing, playful, narrowed gaze.
“I’d like a few,” Damon offered, wondering what the hell had possessed him. Maybe he just wanted to prove her theory wrong.
She turned to face him again. “Really?”
“Why is that so surprising?” The subject matter was probably dangerous, but the banter with these two was a welcome relief after days of total seriousness.
“I don’t know. You’re so bossy. What if they colored outside the lines?”
It took him a second to realize she was joking. There was a twinkle in her eyes he could barely see in the near darkness, but the corner of her mouth turned up slightly.
“Baby, my bossy side is purely for your sexual pleasure. There is no connection whatsoever to raising children.”
Spencer gasped softly.
Olivia’s
face definitely flushed, and she drew a lip in between her teeth. After a few seconds, she released it and said, “If we ever get out of here, I’d like to experience this promised sexual pleasure.”
“I’d be more than happy to demonstrate.” He punctuated those words with a kiss to her lips.
Spencer’s hand landed on the back of Damon’s neck, and he leaned his forehead against Damon’s cheek, groaning. “I’m pretty fond of your bossy side myself. Will I be invited?”
Olivia broke the kiss, turned toward Spencer, lifted her head, and took his lips in a suggestive dance also. “We’re a unit. All or nothing. If you’re not there, no one is there.”
Well, that answered that question.
Or at least it answered some sort of question. Damon wasn’t sure if he felt relieved or more concerned after that exchange.
He did think it was time to change the subject before he let himself grow aroused. “Speaking of kids…”
They both turned to him.
Damon looked at Spencer. “How’s Trish?”
“Remind me who Trish is again?” Olivia asked.
Damon glanced down at her. “Tushar and Trish Anand were the leaders of the first DEEP team. They were forty-five when they were preserved. Their son is Ryan.”
“Ryan? The one who found the cure for AP12?”
“Yes. He was twenty when his parents were preserved. He worked his ass off to find a cure. After several years, he found me and added me to the new team as a cryonicist. My job was to figure out how to get everyone out of the cryostats. He’s thirty now.”
“And you’re referring to him as a kid? He’s your age.” Olivia chuckled and she turned toward Spencer. “He’ll be calling you a kid when you’re fifty.”
Damon shook his head. “I’m not calling Ryan a kid. His mom is pregnant.”
Olivia’s eyes bugged out. “Trish? The one who’s technically fifty-five?”
“That’s the one,” Spencer concurred. “And she’s doing great. She never stops smiling. She’s about five months now. Her belly was already huge when I left.”
“That’s so amazing.” Olivia suddenly had a tear in her eye.
Damon frowned. “You’re crying for a woman you’ve never met?”
She shook her head and swatted at him. “No, dork, I’m excited to find out that someone like me can get pregnant.”
Ah. Right. That made sense. He was an idiot. He pulled her closer, kissed her forehead, and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry. Of course. I wasn’t thinking.”
Obviously the woman he would be thrilled to spend his life with wanted a few kids. Complicated? Beyond imagination.
Chapter 16
The sun was coming up when Olivia opened her eyes. She was too warm, as usual with two men flanking her. Even though she slept in minimal clothing—tank tops and cotton shorts—she always woke up overheated.
She never complained. It calmed her to have them next to her. Occasionally one of them ended up in the middle, but usually it was her. Probably because she was the greediest of the three and wanted both their attention.
Or maybe she was jealous of them when they had exchanges that didn’t include her. What if they had a bond that was greater than the one she had with either of them?
She glanced at Spencer, who was on his stomach next to her. His face was turned her direction, his eyes covered by his hair. She had the urge to brush it away from his forehead, but didn’t want to wake him.
He had one hand on her wrist, cuffing her. He almost always had his hand on her somewhere, as if he were afraid she might escape if he didn’t maintain contact. She was okay with that.
She turned her face the other direction to find Damon on his side, one leg over hers, his hand on her shoulder. He looked peaceful when he slept. It was the only time lately that his brow wasn’t furrowed in concern.
She closed her eyes and took several deep cleansing breaths. It had been eight days since the three of them had stripped naked and made out like they were sex-deprived. Had she imagined it?
Granted, that was the day before her dad called and changed the mood irrevocably. Especially hers. She took the blame. It was impossible to let herself go and fully enjoy sexcapades while constantly biting her nails and waiting for her dad to contact them again.
She grew increasingly worried that something had happened to him. Where was he? Had he been unable to discern the identities of the people who correlated with the numbers? Maybe he hadn’t been able to secure the help of his classified friend on the inside.
Every person on the DEEP team was hiding out in Montana. Even Ryan and Emily had joined them from New Mexico, leaving behind Dr. Boyden when they determined his existence wasn’t vital, and he undoubtedly wouldn’t survive reanimation. Meanwhile, Spencer and several people at the farmhouse worked tirelessly every day, trying to crack the code themselves.
Even with the suggestion that the numbers had hidden dates and locations in them, they had nothing. They didn’t know one thing more than they had weeks ago when they first acquired the numbers.
According to her father, it was a genius move on Boyden’s part to plant those numbers in six DEEP team members, but Olivia was starting to doubt his conclusion since no one had a damn clue who the numbers corresponded to.
Damon’s hand slid up to cup her jaw and then he nibbled a path from her shoulder to her ear. “You’re thinking so hard,” he whispered.
She smiled. Only Damon could silently wake up and keep her from knowing.
“He’ll call.”
She pursed her lips and nodded. Hope. It was all she had.
Spencer’s hand on her wrist gave a squeeze, and then he smoothed it up her arm and continued until he rested it on top of Damon’s. He’d undoubtedly heard their limited exchange and was adding his support.
Olivia sighed. “I’m going to shower.” She slid down the middle of the bed and off the end, leaving the two of them, to pad to the bathroom.
Deep breaths, she told herself over and over as she waited for the water to heat up. She continued to talk herself into calming as she hurried through the routine of shampooing and soaping and then drying and dressing.
This was absurd. It would do no good to worry about the lack of contact from her father. She’d lived for six years without letting herself think too hard about him or what he was up to, and now, after one brief phone call, she was freaking out.
When she exited the bathroom, she found Spencer and Damon dressed, and breakfast on the table. Emotions consumed her. They were being so damn patient and caring. Neither of them had pressured her to talk about it, nor had they insinuated that sex might take her mind off things.
Perhaps they were mind readers, but their patience was appreciated. Sex was the furthest thing from her mind. Maybe it just seemed wrong to enjoy something while she waited for that important phone call that never came.
Today, she would probably lose her mind. She was beyond concerned.
Just as she finished breakfast and set her plate in the small hotel sink, someone knocked on the door.
She spun around and stared at it, heart pounding for no apparent reason. Damon approached and looked out the peephole.
“We expecting a delivery?” Spencer asked.
Damon shook his head, and then he turned around and mouthed. “No idea who it is.”
Another knock, louder this time. And then the person spoke. “I’m with Ash. It’s important.”
Olivia’s spine stiffened. Fear seeped into every pore. What if something happened to her father?
Damon looked through the peephole again and then looked toward Spencer and nodded toward the bedroom nightstand. A gun. Damon wanted Spencer to be armed. Finally, he opened the door the three inches it would allow without removing the chain.
Olivia could hear the man speaking. “I know you have no reason to trust me, but I’m asking you to anyway. Someone’s found you. I need to get you out of here.”
Olivia flinched. She came up behind Damon, took his
arm and leaned into the space to see the man in the hallway. He was about fifty, tall, built, serious, rugged. He wore jeans and a black T-shirt. He had on black boots.
He shifted his gaze to Olivia. “Evelyn, you have to trust me. You’re out of options.”
“Where is my father?”
“He’ll get in touch with you as soon as he can, but right now we need to move. Fast.” He was relatively calm, but he did glance down the hallway in both directions. Finally, he met her gaze. “Peace.”
She sucked in a breath.
Damon lowered his gaze to hers. “Your call.”
My call? She didn’t like that a bit. “Let him in.”
Damon shut the door, undid the chain, and reopened the door so that the man could step inside.
He held out a hand. “I’m Mike.”
Damon shook it, but Olivia could feel waves of anxiety coming off of him. Spencer too as he came up behind her. She was well aware he now had a gun on his person.
Mike held up a hand as he spun around and pointed to the back of his jeans. “I’m armed. If you have weapons, bring them with you. Just in case.”
“We’re seriously going to trust this guy?” Spencer asked.
Olivia chewed on her bottom lip.
Mike held both hands out in front of him. “If there was any other way, I wouldn’t be here, but we’ve been watching you for weeks. You know that. Ash told you. Until today, you were safe. But this morning we got company.”
“Who?” Damon asked.
Mike shrugged. “No idea, but since they aren’t with me, I’m going to say they’re with Blue Cell. Unless you have other groups after you also.”
Damon shot him a glare.
“Shoes. Guns. Money. Let’s go.” Mike glanced at each of them.
Olivia spun around to find her tennis shoes. She grabbed Spencer’s hand on the way by to encourage him to do the same.
Damon’s shoes were next to the door. He leaned down, snagged them, and put them on without removing his attention from Mike.
Olivia was grateful for his hesitation because she knew he would have his head in the game far more than either herself or Spencer, who didn’t say another word but kept glancing at Olivia while he grabbed computers and jammed them in the backpack they always kept ready for an escape.
Reviving Olivia (Project DEEP Book 7) Page 16