Damon jerked back an inch, shocked. Excited. “Really now?”
“Don’t let it go to your head. I like a bossy man. You were bossy from the moment I called.”
Damon laughed and then kissed Spencer’s nose. “If it makes you feel better, I was reeling from that call myself. You sounded so damn timid. I wanted to get my hands on you.”
Spencer shrugged. “I’m shy sometimes.”
“Shy, my ass,” Damon teased. “You’re perfect. I love the way you have a strong personality that helps you hold your head high when faced with adversity. It’s sexy as hell. Especially when I found out you could tuck that spunk away and take orders from me when I demand it of you. I thought my cock would bust through my jeans the first time I realized you would enjoy my kink.”
Spencer’s eyes slid closed, the air rushing from his lungs on a long sigh. “Where is she?”
“I don’t know, baby, but we’re going to get her back.” Damon set his cheek on Spencer’s shoulder and snuggled into his side. “We have to.”
“I’m in love with you,” Spencer finally announced, “but there’s a hole without her.”
“I know, baby. I know.” Damon cupped Spencer’s cheek and held him close.
“I keep going through that last hour with her in my mind.”
“Yeah.”
“She was reeling from so much information bombarding her. It broke my heart to watch her fall apart after her father left, especially since she wouldn’t even let us comfort her.”
Damon nodded agreement.
Spencer stroked Damon’s back absently. “I still can’t believe Temple was her mother. She was more tied to everything than any of us thought.”
“I can’t imagine finding out my only parent lied to me my entire life, even if it was for a good reason. It would destroy me. Even though I haven’t been able to keep in close contact with my family for the last few years, I always know they’re there for me. I could go home at any time.”
Spencer stiffened in Damon’s arms, his hand stilling.
“What is it?”
Spencer didn’t respond, but he wasn’t breathing either.
Damon lifted onto an elbow. “Baby, what?”
“You’ll go home when this is over.”
Damon shrugged, not sure what Spencer was alluding to. “Maybe, but it won’t change anything about the three of us. My family is open-minded. They might be shocked at first, but they won’t judge. They’ll come around.”
Spencer shook his head. “No, Damon. It will never happen.”
“Why?” Now it was Damon’s turn to stiffen. He couldn’t imagine why Spencer would balk at meeting Damon’s family. “It’s a great idea, actually. They’re in California. Have you ever been there? Can’t beat the weather. You’ll love it.”
“Are you listening to yourself?”
Damon winced. “Apparently we aren’t on the same page.”
“No. We’re not. You weren’t tangled up in this fucking mess, Damon. You can go on with your life in any way you choose. Livvy and I don’t have that privilege. Even if Dade meets with the Feds and they assure us they have all five of those key players from Blue Cell in custody and none of them will ever see the light of day, it won’t be enough.
“Why do you think everyone is still hanging around this safe house? It’s not because they love country living and have decided to start a commune. It’s because we still aren’t safe.”
“I get that,” Damon interrupted, “but it’s temporary. The government is going to right this wrong. I have to believe we will all be free to walk away.” Even as he spoke the words, he knew he was lying to himself and to Spencer.
Spencer shook his head again. “You know that isn’t true, especially not for me and Livvy. I worked with Blue Cell for several years. The organization is huge, much bigger than the six people Ash identified. It’s vast. Taking out six members, even if they are the highest on the command chain, will not keep Blue Cell down for long. The Feds won’t be able to keep up with them.
“And what do you think they’ll do once they’re operational again? You don’t think they’ll seek revenge from the man who switched sides and the woman who they believe worked for an operative for the US government for years?”
Damon swallowed. Fuck. Spencer was right. “So, you’ll both take on new identities. We’ll figure it out together.”
“It’s not that simple, Damon.”
Damon closed his eyes and leaned his cheek back against Spencer’s shoulder. Fuck. He needed to come up with a plan that would work for all of them. What Spencer didn’t know was that Damon would even give up his own family for the two people he loved most in the world. He just hoped there was a way he wouldn’t have to.
Chapter 22
Olivia was very nervous as she drove up the long driveway to the farmhouse. She hadn’t spoken to either of the most important people in her life in two weeks.
At least for her they were important. She had no way to be certain they felt the same, especially after her long silence. For the most part, she didn’t have a choice. At least not for the first ten days. She’d undergone hours of questioning that gradually shifted from accusatory to informational. In the end, the government spent most of their time grilling her to see if there was anything she inadvertently knew, even after they cleared her of culpability.
They also set her up with a top-notch hypnotist who began working with her to eliminate the effect her own name had on her. She’d been making progress. Hours of therapy had eased her reaction, but not completely eliminated it. She would need a lot more work.
No matter what, the name Olivia could no longer be hers. It was sufficiently ruined for all time now. She’d have to switch yet again. And Livvy was out of the question. She’d tolerated it from Spencer and Damon but it had to go.
After she’d been cut loose from the Feds and given permission to leave the state, she’d found herself hesitating, filled with doubts.
Scared.
She’d slept for hours and then spent an entire day not getting out of bed in her hotel room. What-ifs had burdened her. What if the powerful thing she’d experienced with two men had been one-sided? What if it couldn’t stand up under the pressure of society? What if either or both of her men backed away from the trio when they found themselves under a microscope?
Yeah, she’d been chicken. And too exhausted to face them and deal with the stress that would cause until she had all her ducks in a row.
Finally, she’d realized she would never be able to line up those ducks by herself, and then Dade had called yesterday and told her both men had inquired about her. He’d indicated they’d been stressed. Dade hadn’t made assumptions, but she suspected he wasn’t stupid.
As she pulled to a stop, a man stepped down from the porch and headed toward her. It was early. Very early. She hadn’t wanted to risk being followed, so she’d come before dawn. The sun was just starting to peek over the horizon.
She stepped from the car as the tall man with thick hair and big brown eyes reached her side. He smiled. “You must be Livvy.”
She returned his smile. “It’s one of my many aliases,” she joked as she lifted a hand. “You must be Dade.”
“Indeed. Come on inside. I know two men who are very eager to see you.”
She nodded, not responding to his statement. It was harmless enough, but she had no idea what Spencer and Damon might have told everyone or even how out they’d been themselves in the past two weeks. Dade hadn’t given her any indication when they’d spoken, and she’d been too afraid to ask.
As she followed Dade, her hands started to sweat. She had no idea what she might be facing. At the very least, Damon and Spencer had to be hurt and angry that she hadn’t contacted them a single time.
It had been too much. She’d needed to compartmentalize their existence, its meaning, and her future to the back of her mind and focus. Would they understand that?
Who was she kidding? She was scared out of her mind.
Her radio silence had very little to do with her inability to commit to the two men she’d fallen so hard for. Her hesitation to reach out to them had far more to do with her fear that one or both of them wouldn’t want to continue what they’d started now that they were free to go on with their lives.
The fact that Damon and Spencer had gone to Dade gave her a boost of confidence. Would they ask about her if they didn’t care?
Olivia followed Dade through the living room and then up the stairs to the second floor. He didn’t say a word the entire time. For that, she was grateful. Finally, he stopped at a closed door and pointed at it. “You’ll probably want to start here. You can meet everyone else later.” And then he walked away, leaving her to face that door alone.
With a deep breath, she turned the knob and let herself in as quietly as possible. Just as quickly, she shut the door behind her and locked it, as she took in the best sight she’d seen in weeks.
Damon was on his back in the middle of the large bed. Spencer was at his side, one arm tossed over Damon’s waist, his head in the crook of Damon’s shoulder. They looked so peaceful lying there, and she had a pang of jealousy, feeling like an intruder.
She was surprised neither of them stirred at her entrance.
Perhaps it was risky, but she quietly removed all her clothes and then tiptoed to the foot of the bed. She put a knee to the mattress and started crawling right up the middle at the same time she set a palm on each man’s leg.
Both of them bolted awake at the contact, two heads lifting, eyes blinking, mouths falling open.
Her heart was beating rapidly, worried that they might not appreciate her entrance after two weeks of total silence. But she had to take this chance, tell them without words how she felt. Climbing into their bed naked made a statement no words could equal.
“Livvy…” Spencer spoke first, leaning up on a hip and then shuffling back several inches while he reached for her to pull her between them.
Her nipples pebbled as she crawled into the space, warm from their bodies.
Damon set a hand on her hip and stroked it up and around to her back before pressing her closer. “Jesus, baby, you had us so worried.”
She nodded. “I’m sorry about that. I had…things to work out.”
Damon suddenly jerked up and flipped her onto her back between them. His gaze was intense as he took in her face and then let it roam down her body.
Spencer did the same on her other side, his hand flattening on her belly. “We missed you.”
“I missed you too.” She reached up to cup Spencer’s cheek.
“You’re here now,” he pointed out.
“I am.”
“To stay?” Damon asked. His brow was furrowed, and she got the impression her answer would dictate the rest of what happened in this bed. No one had touched her intimately yet.
“I hope not. This farmhouse is quaint and all, but it’s a little crowded,” she teased.
No one laughed.
She licked her lips and took a breath. “If you’ll both have me, yes.” She glanced from one to the other.
“At what point did either of us give you a reason to doubt that?” Damon asked.
He was right. But he was also wrong. She swallowed. “It’s not like we specifically discussed the future or what it might look like. I hoped, but I couldn’t be sure you would both be on board with something permanent after we got out of that mess. I’ve been nervous. Scared. Hiding from what I might find when I faced you.”
Damon nodded. “I know there’s a lot to talk about and negotiate, but these past two weeks were brutal. Spencer and I even fought about it. If you ever disappear like that again with no word, it will kill us.”
“You fought?”
“Yeah,” Spencer added. “We actually didn’t even speak to each other much until yesterday. Last night was the first night we slept together.”
She sucked in a breath. “Why?”
“It didn’t seem right,” Spencer continued as he trailed a finger around her belly, brushing the undersides of her breasts. “Even last night, all we did was hold each other and hope you’d come back soon.”
She was shocked, though she should have known better. Of course they didn’t move on without her. Why had she considered that possibility even for a moment?
“You’re naked in our bed,” Damon pointed out, brow still furrowed. “Does this mean you’re all in? I need to know because if you came to scratch an itch, I can’t do it.”
What was he saying? She held her breath, studying his face. “I didn’t come to scratch an itch.” She glanced at Spencer, finding his expression similar. She needed to take a risk, open her heart, bare her soul. “I’m in love with you. Both of you. The past two weeks were the longest of my life. And I worried every day you might not feel the same. I wasn’t sure how I would handle it if I showed up and one of you was no longer interested.”
She hardly finished speaking before Damon smashed his lips to hers, kissing her with the same desperation she felt. Spencer’s lips were on her cheek, but he only gave Damon a few seconds to taste her before nudging the older man out of his way so he could also kiss her.
Damon’s mouth trailed to her ear, his hand gripping her hip, his fingers smashed between her body and Spencer’s. He breathed heavily as he spoke. “I love you. Fiercely. Both of you.” He wiggled his hand out from between the two of them, and she knew he was trailing it up Spencer’s side, pulling him closer.
Spencer broke the kiss to stare into her eyes. “I love you too. Don’t leave us like that again.”
“I hardly had a choice,” she pointed out. “The FBI wasn’t exactly asking me to come in.”
“Yeah,” Spencer agreed, “but you could have called, and they haven’t been questioning you for fourteen days.”
He was right. Again. She swallowed. “Like I said, I was scared. And there was a lot on my mind. I needed to clean up that mess and get my head on straight.” She glanced down. “I knew returning to you two was a huge step. What if one or both of you were no longer interested in something permanent? I couldn’t bring myself to face it.”
Spencer finally gave her a partial smile.
“It’s still complicated,” she pointed out. “The list of things we need to work out is pages long.”
Damon lifted his gaze to hers again. “It is. Spencer and I discussed some of the issues yesterday. We get it. But we also agreed nothing was a deal breaker. Nothing will tear us apart. We’ll make it happen. If you’re really in?”
She smiled at him and wiggled a hand up to cup both their faces. “I’m really in.”
“Good.” He finally smiled. “Now, we want to hear every detail about the last two weeks, but first I need to be inside you. I can’t think straight until I’ve watched you come undone at least twice.”
Wetness rushed from her at his words, and she squirmed between them. “I think I’d like to have both of you inside me at the same time.” She glanced at Spencer who was staring at her expressionless.
His hand trailed down between her legs after a moment, and then he said, “I’m pretty sure we can arrange that.”
“You’re sure?” Damon asked. “I had visualized working up to that. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re not going to hurt me. Go slow.” She stroked her hands up and down both of their chests. “People have anal sex. All the time. I’m not going to break.”
Spencer cupped one of her breasts and lowered his face to suckle the nipple, making her arch her chest off the bed on a gasp.
Damon gave her an evil grin before scooting down the bed. He tugged her thigh toward him and then crawled between her legs. His mouth was on her in an instant, sucking and licking to match Spencer’s attention to her breast.
She moaned, her fingers digging into both men’s shoulders. “Jesus.”
Damon’s hand smoothed up her inner thigh, pressing it wider, and then his fingers were at her entrance, stroking through the folds before plunging into her.
Her vision blurred. She was going to come so fast under the intensity. And she didn’t care. Now wasn’t the time for slow and sensual. Now was the time for fast and heated. Later, they could do slow.
Apparently, they both agreed because as Spencer leaned over to switch his attention to her other breast, Damon gathered her wetness and stroked his fingers back toward her tighter hole. His mouth never stopped tormenting her clit, not enough to let her come just yet, but enough to make her pliable and needy.
He tapped her tight entrance with his finger and then slowly eased it inside. The sensation was foreign but not bad. It seemed…more intimate in a way she wanted to feel with both of these men. A vulnerability she’d never felt filled her to the point she thought she might explode.
When Damon released her clit to plunge his tongue into her pussy, he added a second finger to her tighter hole, stretching her. So full.
She started shaking on the edge of an orgasm.
And then Spencer nipped her breast with his teeth, just hard enough to send a line of sweet pain down to her clit.
She gritted her teeth, trying to control her reaction. The house was filled with people. It was one thing to out themselves to everyone later this morning. It was another to do so after announcing how hard they liked to fuck, by shouting from behind the closed door.
Spencer released her nipple and lifted his face to meet her gaze. He stared into her eyes which were so glazed over she could barely see him, and then he flattened his palm over her mouth. “Come for us, baby.”
She screamed into his hand as her pussy pulsed around Damon’s tongue, a rush of wetness coating his chin. With his fingers inside her other hole, she couldn’t focus on any one sensation. There were too many. The throbbing of her clit, the pulsing of her channel, the tightness in her ass, and the sting left over from Spencer’s teeth on her nipple.
Spencer lifted his hand from her mouth as the orgasm subsided, replacing it with his lips and taking her in a demanding kiss that told her exactly how much he missed her.
Damon eased from her body, trailing a hand along her side as he climbed up. His lips joined theirs in a slightly awkward dance of three tongues and three sets of moans.
Reviving Olivia (Project DEEP Book 7) Page 23