The answer is yes, but I don’t reply. Tirade time is not interactive.
“It took for-bleeding-ever, but we finally chucked that stupid orb into storage. What a pain in the ass that was. And at the same time, Aldred gets his own daughter possessed by the King of Hell. Nightmare! And what was that, ten minutes ago?”
“I heard it was last month,” calls a worker from across the locker room. Interesting. This place has better acoustics than I thought.
Myla throws up her arms. “Now that douchebag earl wants to open a gateway to another freaking reality to fight an evil tree that does fuck-knows-all. And we have a trickster monkey running around who’s helping Aldred but clearly has his own agenda. And-and I have a Scala Bleugh tomorrow which is always a pain. And-and-and there’s a ghoul in Purgatory who could be a key to this whole thing on Friday. I hate ghouls. Except Walker, who is on a cruise when we need him most.” She lets out a long breath with a ‘hoo’ noise. “Okay, I’m good now.”
I do my best golfers clap. “That was one of your best.”
“Thank you. My inner demon needs to come out and play sometimes, you know?”
“I do.”
Myla frowns. “Guess this means I must mosey back to Purgatory. Peli was right about one thing. I need to focus on Aldred’s schemes for the Trials of Acca.”
“Clearly, he’s looped in the quasi people somehow.”
“Well, we both know who tracks everything in Purgatory.” That answer would be Cissy, who’s now Senator for Diplomacy and has her own spy network. “Care to join me?”
“I wish I could, but I should visit the Royal Archives again. Perhaps there is something on the Primeval that I missed previously. After that, I must check in on Baptiste, Nat, and the other orphans.” A vague memory kicks at the back of my mind. I stare off into space, trying to capture the thought. Suddenly, a word appears in my mind.
“Wictus,” I say aloud.
Myla purse her lips. “What’s that?”
“Not a what, it’s a who. Wictus were thrax who lived in the Acca caverns long before Aldred’s people settled there. They kept records.” I nod slowly, my decision made. “I’ll inspect the Wictus Archives first. They’re more likely to have something on the Primeval.”
Myla taps her cheek. “So you’re heading to Acca territory now?”
“That I am.”
“It’s tempting to skip Purgatory and join you. You know how I enjoy irritating Aldred.”
“I’d love it, but we don’t have enough time. You must pin down Aldred’s plans with Purgatory. If Cissy is uninformed, that may take some doing.”
“True.” Myla puffs out her bottom lip. It’s a blatant ploy for sympathy and attention. It’s also stunningly effective.
Tilting my head, I fix Myla with a warm smile. “How about I escort you to the transfer Pulpitum?”
She beams. “You have a deal.”
9
Myla
Lincoln and I head off to the Arx Hall Pulpitum. Fortunately, my guy knows a ton of secret passages inside the palace. Together we sneak through some empty corridors that are made of old wood and filled with cobwebs. Love it. Not only will we arrive at our destination faster, but there’s also no risk of running into the Rixa Judgey Old Lady Committee.
As we march along, Lincoln gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “You can ignore Aldred’s trials, you know.”
“Me? Combat readiness trials? Try keeping me away. Plus, there might be a battle tree involved. Something new for my scrapbooks.”
Lincoln laughs. “Only you, Myla.”
“Hey, whatever the earl comes up with, I’ve fought worse.” I think back to earlier today and shudder. “I’ve drunk worse.”
“Quite true.” Lincoln narrows his eyes. “Lady Bentford gave you saffronia.”
“Oh my sweet Hell. That stuff is gross.”
“It’s not something we offer to those new to thrax culture. Lady Bentford was trying to cause an incident.”
I know that tight look on Lincoln’s face. “You’re debating whether or not to get her in trouble.”
“Her family asked me to expand their transport license on the Incaenda river. Entrapping my fiancée isn’t exactly placing them in my favor.”
“It’s not just Lady Bentford. Most of Octavia’s blue haired buddies play the same game. Dodge ball.”
Lincoln quirks a brow. “That’s a new one.”
“Originally it comes from Earth. Two teams throw painfully heavy balls at each other. If you’re hit, you’re out. Last team standing wins. Make sense?”
“As battle training? No. But I suppose there’s a parallel with this game and Mother’s friends.”
“Yup. Octavia’s buddies keep tossing dodge balls-o-manners in my direction. When they hit me, they think I’ll cry out. It’s like they want me to be hurt, you get it?”
“I do. That’s why I’m not inclined to expand Lady Bentford’s Incaenda license.”
“But they don’t hurt me. Ever. They’re like dodge bubbles, if anything. If you refuse that license, you’ll only confirm to Lady Bentford that she ticked me off. Which she didn’t.”
Lincoln frowns. “I don’t know.”
“Come on. Who’s the expert on irritating people?”
Lincoln chuckles. “Clearly not me.”
“Exactly. I’ve got this.” I stop. “Ah, here’s the doorway to the Pulpitum.” And do I feel a little awesome that I remembered that? Why yes, yes I do. Arx Hall is a mega maze.
Lincoln gives my hand another squeeze. “Before you go, there’s another question I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
“Shoot.”
“Cissy mentioned you both have a new friend.”
Huh. “We do?”
“Yes, someone with an unusual name. Bae Jess.”
“I don’t remember anyone by that nam—” My mouth snaps shut while my stomach sinks to the very dusty floor. Cissy wasn’t talking about a new friend named Bae Jess. My bestie blabbed about BAEJS. Not that I’m embarrassed to be caught having a nickname for Lincoln’s junk.
Okay, I’m totally embarrassed.
Lincoln’s my first real boyfriend. Sure, we have this Angelbound connection that makes us fated to be together, but it doesn’t change the fact that I have next-to-zero in terms of guy-related experience. Maybe the BAEJS thing is super insulting? I don’t know.
Plus, Cissy vowed she’d never say a word. We had a pact. There’s a principle at work here.
Without my willing them, words tumble from my mouth because, of course they do. “Cissy is a loud mouthed traitor. That’s all I’m saying.”
If I’d been thinking things through, I wouldn’t have said anything. But I did. And Lincoln’s a hunter. He can tell when there’s something to track down and club to death.
Right now, my guy’s target is the soon-to-be-infamous Bae Jess.
Pausing, Lincoln pulls me into his arms. His strong hands wind up my back. That feels really nice. Leaning in, Lincoln kisses a line behind my ear. That’s even better. Some small part of me knows that Lincoln is just leveraging my inner lust demon to break my will and trick me into blabbing about Bae Jess.
More of me doesn’t care. Mostly because my inner lust demon is indeed awake and having a grand old time.
Lincoln goes to work on my ear lobe. Nibble nibble.
“Well?” he asks.
“Bae Jess is not a name. It’s one of those each letter stands for a word things.”
“And?” My guy’s voice takes on a growly tone that goes right to my girly bits.
“You play dirty.”
Nibble nibble. “Always.”
And that does it. All my resistance turns to mush. “It’s B-A-E-J-S. Body Armor Enhanced Junk Show.”
Lincoln freezes. No more nibbling. In fact, I’m not even sure if he’s breathing.
This may have been a huge miscalculation. What made me think I could handle a complex relationshippy thing like this one?
“Um, Lincoln?”
<
br /> “That is amazing. Cissy’s getting a gift basket.”
Arching backward, I take a better look at my guy. He isn’t working his unreadable face, which is nice. His brows are inching up rather high, though.
“You’re shocked,” I state.
“Not that such a thought exists in your head, but more that you gave it a name. And with Cissy, no less.” He sighs. “Such a shame that I must visit the Wictus Archives now.” Lincoln’s gaze turns intense. “I want more details.”
Okay, so this wasn’t such a bad move after all. I keep forgetting how Lincoln likes my lust demon. And the way he’s staring at me right now? I’ll share details, details, so many details.
“I’ll take that under consideration,” I sass.
When Lincoln next speaks, his tone carries a bossy edge. “You will tell me.”
Color me a fan of this conversation. In fact, my inner lust demon does her version of a happy dance. Only one thing left to do. End on a high note.
“Promises, promises,” I whisper.
Turning, I sashay out the door, taking care to work my hips salsa-style. My tail gives Lincoln a wave goodbye as I head for my official transport to Purgatory.
Best exit ever.
Or at least, for this week.
10
Lincoln
Minutes later, I stand in a maze of wooden shelves crammed with dusty books. The Wictus Archives. Servants in yellow tunics stalk about the aisles, all of them wearing the Acca insignia on their chests.
A lanky fellow with wild yellow hair steps up to greet me. “Your Highness, we weren’t expecting you.”
“This is an unplanned visit, Obadiah.”
Side note: How do I know this man’s name? I grabbed background on the Wictus Archives before popping by. It’s one of my things. Per my research, the folks now on duty will allow me free access, so long as someone rushes off to tell Aldred.
“Did you need any assistance?” asks Obadiah.
“No, thank you.”
“If you change your mind, please let me know.” Obadiah takes off at a sprint, no doubt to tell Aldred I’ve arrived. A warm sense of satisfaction balloons in my chest. It’s rather nice when my research pans out.
As Obadiah speeds away, a small puff of orange smoke materializes before me. A moment later, Peli appears by my boots. Up close, I can see his wide face, large blue eyes, and fur color that’s best described as neon tangerine.
I scan the aisle. There are no Acca servants within viewing distance, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t close by. The shelves loom tall while the aisles between them stay rather thin. Undoubtedly, the servants will hear me chatting with myself. Or rather, with my invisible monkey. Still, that won’t change what I do next.
“Hello, Peli.”
Sure enough, low whispers sound from nearby. The servants heard that greeting, all right. And they know there’s no one else near me.
“Aren’t you going to ignore my existence?” asks Peli.
“You’re a trickster. If I do that, it merely gives you an excuse for worse behavior.” There is a Trickster sub-class of demons, after all. This is a well-known principle.
“True.” Peli bobs on all fours, reminding me of a spring that’s coiled too tightly. “But I was looking for an excuse to be tricksy.”
“Glad I could foil your plans.”
“Oh, I didn’t say I wouldn’t be tricksy at all.” Peli holds his pointer fingers a hair apart. “Only a little bit.”
After leaning back on his haunches, Peli launches himself halfway across the room, landing atop a particularly tall wall of shelves. The wooden structure wobbles as Peli lands. The impact sets multiple books thunking against each other. A pair of servants wait nearby. I can’t see these workers, but there’s no missing their worried whispers.
“Did you catch that?” asks one.
“Yes, that shelf is… moving,” replies another. “I don’t see who could’ve touched it, though.”
All this time, Peli lounges atop the structure, his mouth stretching into an overly-wide smile.
This isn’t going well. I’m supposed to keep a low profile.
Now Peli leaps across a line of shelves, setting even more of the wall-like structures swaying. The servants gasp. To them, the room is under a kind of supernatural shelf-focused earthquake. Peli chatters with laughter, a noise that only I can hear. With every passing second, the little monkey leaps with more speed and pressure.
I raise my hands, palms forward. “Ukapeli.” It’s important to use someone’s full name when you’re about to scold them. “Be careful on those—”
Crash!
A massive wall of books slams onto the floor. Shocked yelps echo about the room. Stepping over, I inspect the damage. The books seem fine. Peli sits atop the messy pile, that over-wide grin still plastered on his face.
“You were saying?” asks Peli.
“Watch the shelves.”
“So I did.”
A new servant appears at the entrance to our aisle. She’s lithe and pale with red hair and wide eyes. I remember her from my research. Flora. “Is there a problem here, your Highness?”
“No, all is well.”
“Who have you been talking to?”
“Peli.”
Flora looks around. “I see no one.”
I could deny Peli’s existence, but again, that won’t help the situation.
“Peli is an invisible orange monkey,” I explain.
“Oh. I see.”
Let the record show that Flora does not see.
Another servant approaches. This one’s named Selene. Everything about her is efficient: not too tall or short, thin or heavy, pale or brown. She wears a simple yellow dress. “Excuse us, your Highness. We’ll be close by if you and your, uh, friend require assistance.”
Both rush away. I give it about five minutes, tops, before the rumors of my decaying sanity and invisible monkey friend are all over Antrum. The Wictus folks are proving to be nothing if not predictable.
“Are you through destroying shelves?” I ask Peli.
“For now.”
“Please hold off on any additional funny business. I’m here to do research.”
“About the Primeval?”
“Yes. I’m rather concerned that Aldred will unleash unknown evils on Friday.”
Peli blinks innocently. “Aldred will open the gateway?”
“I stand corrected. Undoubtedly, you’ll do the magical opening part.”
“True enough.” Peli folds his skinny arms over his round torso. “And yet you’re still speaking to me. Acknowledging me.”
Rocking on my heels, I think this through. Peli does bring up a good point. I’ve encountered shady characters before. Normally I’m never this friendly.
“Here’s the thing,” I tell Peli. “I fought my first demon at the ripe old age of six. Over the years, I’ve developed a feel for true malevolence. I don’t sense that in you. You’re scheming, but something tells me you’ve a good purpose in the end.”
“Yes.” Grief pulls at Peli’s features. “My family.”
Kneeling, I meet Peli’s gaze straight-on. “Protecting your family is noble. Does the Contagion threaten their lives? If so, it explains why you’d expose that evil tree to a room full of demon hunters.”
“What, me? Noble?” Peli’s face becomes a grinning mask once more. “Don’t be daft.”
“In other words, I’ve gotten close to the truth.”
Peli raises his arms. A fresh haze of orange magic appears by the monkey’s feet. Another spell. The mist thins out into a dozen unique tendrils. Peli snaps his fingers. The colored cords speed through the archives, each one heading in a different direction.
Seconds later, the cords snap back. The many colored ropes are now tied to different books. All the volumes land in a neat pile by my feet.
“These hold what you require,” says Peli. “Information about the Primeval.”
Kneeling down, I scan the top titles.<
br />
Interviews With A Battle Lion
Ancient Parallel Worlds
Fairy Tales From The Primeval
“These look perfect,” I state. “How useful of you.”
“We tricksters like being acknowledged. Your new books?” Peli gestures to the pile by my feet. “Consider them a gift in return for your honesty. A boon made for a bounty paid, that’s the Law Primeval.”
“So, you only rewarded me because I acknowledged your presence? It wasn’t due to the fact that I suspected your noble motivations?”
Peli lifts his chin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Sure, he doesn’t. “Moving on. Would you join me in my chambers while I read? I rather enjoy your company. Plus, you can tell me more about the Primeval.”
Peli frowns. A moment ago, the monkey was all sneaky charm. Now, he gives off an air of chilly resolve. “Those books hold all you need to know. I will say nothing else.”
The way Peli emphasizes the word say, it’s clear that whatever the monkey plans to reveal about the Primeval, he won’t speak it aloud. What does he plan to do, exactly? Show me pictures from the books?
At that moment, Obadiah rushes back in. “Aldred is on his way. You’re not to touch anything.”
I look down. The stack by my feet are gone. Instead, those volumes are now tied up in a bundle that floats over Peli’s head. A thin orange haze surrounds the entire package. The books are invisible to others.
Ha! Love it.
“Am I touching anything?” I ask.
Obadiah scans the floor and walls. The servant looks right through Peli and his hovering book-pile. “Ah, you’re empty handed. I didn’t expect that.”
“If you’ll excuse us,” I say. “Peli and I have places to be.”
“Of course, your Highness… and his pretend monkey.”
I march toward the exit. Peli scampers along behind. A steady drumbeat of smashes sound as Peli’s invisible packet slams into every shelf along the way. With each mysterious thud, the Acca servants gasp again in fear.
And Peli snickers.
Trickster (Angelbound Lincoln Book 3) Page 4